Chapter 9

Deciding what to wear for a scandalous interlude was damnably difficult when all of Hannah's clothes were made for economy of movement and a desire to be invisible. In the end, she settled for a clean cotton shift and her softest flannel robe. She huffed at her reflection in the mirror. It was nearing midnight. She had already sent Betty to bed, Philippa was undoubtedly sipping whiskey in her room, and Hannah was on the verge of needing smelling salts.

Toying nervously with the end of her braid, she pressed her lips together to bring some colour to her otherwise pale face.

‘You can stop at any time. Quit being such a silly ninny!' She scolded herself in the mirror and almost missed the quiet knock. ‘Drat!' she whispered before moving swiftly to the door.

Killian entered the room, closing the door softly behind him. He was wearing his suit from dinner, but he had removed his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt to reveal an inch of skin at his throat.

She backed away from him, feeling the unfamiliar zing of fear. Not that he would hurt her, but that she wasn't ready for this momentous step.

He leaned against the door. His eyes took in every detail of her with an expression nearing hunger. Hannah's blood flooded back to her face in a rush of warmth. Now she worried there was too much colour in her cheeks. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands, so she wrapped her robe tighter around her body and crossed her arms over her chest.

‘Hello.' Hannah could have died. Of all the inane, stupid things to say. She bit her lip, wishing she could turn into a wisp of smoke and float away.

Killian smiled, his eyes flashing with wicked humour. ‘Hello.'

He pushed away from the door, and Hannah found herself stepping backward at the same pace he moved forward. She kept an equal distance between them until she ran into the back of a loveseat near the small fireplace at the south end of her room.

‘Are you nervous?' He asked an obvious question with an equally obvious answer.

Yes!

Hannah tipped up her chin and shook her head in a blatant lie. It was bad enough that her knees were knocking together, and a swarm of ants had taken residence in her stomach. She didn't need him to know how incredibly vulnerable she was in this moment.

He smiled again. The firelight played over his features, throwing his eyes into shadows, highlighting his prominent cheekbones and the laugh lines bracketing his beautiful mouth. He really did have ridiculously well-placed teeth which flashed at her when he spoke. ‘I think we should sit first and talk.'

‘Talk?' Hannah's pulse beat in her throat. Could he see its mad pace?

He closed the distance between them. Hannah stiffened. Looking directly in his eyes seemed too intimate. Too raw. Instead, she stared at his left earlobe. Ah, yes. Much better.

Lifting his hand, he traced her features from forehead to cheek to chin, where his fingers lingered. ‘Look at me,' he commanded softly.

Hannah rarely responded well to being told what to do, but in this circumstance, she was adrift. A small part of her appreciated his authority. Also, there was desperation in his tone. Perhaps he was feeling a little nervous too. The combination of control and vulnerability was impossible to resist.

As she lifted her gaze, she noticed his eyelashes were obscenely thick, framing eyes more green tonight than hazel.

Leaning slowly closer, he pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. ‘I think it's important we talk first.'

Hannah swallowed. She took an unsteady breath and nodded. First. Such an innocuous word, yet laden with meaning. Because after talking, what would come next? Surely something quite extraordinary.

Leading him around the couch, she extended her hand in an invitation to sit. Before obliging her, he removed his jacket and folded it over a chair just left of the couch. As he moved, she could see the fine linen of his shirt pull tight over his shoulders. Moisture pooled between her legs. Dear God. Hannah's cheeks grew warm from embarrassment. What would he say if he knew? But he couldn't possibly.

He sat on the loveseat and rested his left ankle on his right knee, a man at his leisure. Meanwhile, Hannah was balancing on the edge of a wire, certain to fall.

She perched on the chair where his jacket was draped. He was supposed to enter the room and ravish her immediately, alleviating any need for thought or conversation. But the infuriating man never acted predictably. Prolonging the anticipation in this way made the whole prospect suddenly more illicit. What could he possibly want to discuss at a time like this?

‘I'm not in the habit of seducing virgins.'

Ah. He wants to discuss the most awkward and embarrassing topic imaginable. Marvellous.

Hannah opened her mouth to try and form a response, but only managed a strangled squeak.

Thankfully, he continued, filling the silence with his deep voice. ‘I don't want to frighten you or push you further than you wish to go.'

‘I'm not scared.' But she was. And she hated the helplessness of it.

Killian smiled. ‘Liar.'

‘Ladies don't lie,' Hannah retaliated.

He chuckled darkly. ‘I can agree you are most definitely a lady who deserves the utmost respect. So, I think it best to ascertain what your expectations are before we begin. And your understanding of seduction. That way, we can avoid any false presumptions.'

This was completely unexpected. His elbow was on the armrest, his finger and thumb pressed against his temple and chin. His middle finger rubbed back and forth over his bottom lip. Hannah watched that finger like a snake might watch its charmer. Enthralled.

She collected her scattered thoughts and cleared her throat. ‘I may be a virgin, but I'm not ignorant of what occurs between a man and a woman, Your Grace.' God forbid he think her innocent.

‘Killian. It's what my friends call me. We are friends tonight, are we not?'

She would not describe them as such, but as no other word for their relationship sprang to mind, friend must suffice. ‘Yes. Alright, Killian.' She stumbled over his name. ‘As I was saying, I know the particulars of s-sexual congress.'

‘Truly? I would love for you to tell me more about these particulars.' His voice was gravelled, and he shifted on the couch. Hannah was distracted by his movements. There was a noticeable bulge pressing against the placket of his breeches where none had been before.

Fascinating!

Hannah never let fear of the unknown stop her. She needed to approach this as she would a fight. Pretend confidence and move quickly.

Nerves got the better of her. She stood and began pacing.

‘A man becomes hard and breaches the woman.' Hannah paused in front of him. She couldn't look at his face, so instead, she focused on his earlobe again. Until her traitorous gaze flicked down to his lap.

Good Lord!

She had no idea a man's appendage could grow so prodigious. Even through his breeches, she could ascertain the dimensions. The very idea a woman was meant to fit that inside herself was ridiculous. Her nipples budded, and she pressed her legs together against an unfamiliar ache.

She started to step back, but faster than a striking snake, he leaned forward and caught her hand in his own. He didn't pull her closer, but it was also impossible to retreat.

‘Do you know what part of a man gets hard?' His fingers tightened around hers.

Hannah exhaled a breath as shaky as her limbs. In lieu of an answer, she gestured at his obvious erection.

‘Oh, no. That won't do. I want to hear you say the word.' His pupils almost engulfed the green of his eyes. He shifted again. His thumb made a lazy circle against her palm.

She never thought talking about seduction could be as disconcerting as engaging in the act itself. It was both excruciating and arousing. The rhythmic friction of his thumb only increased the intimacy of the moment.

How on earth was she to answer him? She knew several words to describe the male anatomy, none of them proper. After a moment's deliberation, she settled on the most common.

‘Cock.' It felt illicit in her mouth. ‘At least, that is one of the terms, is it not?'

‘Yes.' Killian hissed in a breath. This conversation was having an equally powerful effect on him. Good. She didn't want to be the only one flustered. He squeezed her hand again. ‘And where does he place his cock in a woman?'

Hannah again recalled words never uttered in polite society. ‘Her cunny. Or quim, I suppose. They are both the same, are they not?'

He clenched his jaw. ‘Yes. Do you know that a woman's cunny becomes wet in preparation?'

Hannah's eyes flew to his in shock.

‘Are you wet right now, Hannah?' Slowly, he pulled her close enough to press his lips against her palm.

She couldn't possibly answer him, but she felt his mouth move against her hand in a smile.

Insufferable man!

Before she could think of a cutting reply, he let her go. She should have moved a safe distance from him, but instead her hand dropped uselessly to her side. She was frozen. Ensnared by his gaze and the way his mouth moved as he spoke such illicit words.

‘So, you understand the particulars of intercourse, but we are decidedly staying away from such activities. What else do you know about the pleasure found between two people?'

Hannah's brows drew close together. ‘I don't understand. Do you mean seduction?'

He chuckled darkly. ‘Isn't that why we're here? To practice the art of seduction?'

‘Are you laughing at me?'

‘No, I'm not. I'm just fascinated by the contradiction of a woman who is skilled with a blade, uses words like bollocks, cock, and cunny, but is ignorant to the myriad of pleasures that can be found in bed sport. You are an endlessly evolving enigma, Hannah. I find myself determined to discover your secrets.'

Hannah stiffened at the thought. ‘There are some secrets best left in the darkness.'

‘But isn't it our job to discover what's hidden?' Killian bit his lip.

‘That depends. Sometimes, we hide things because it would be dangerous for others to find them.' She was revealing too much. But passion and fear warred within her, making it impossible to think clearly.

‘And sometimes we hide things because we are scared to let our true natures be known. Is that why you keep to the shadows, Hannah?' His voice was soft, his green eyes delving too deeply into her soul.

What would happen if she told him? If she shared her most shameful secret? Could a man with his own demons understand hers? Doubtful.

Hannah squared her shoulders. ‘I'm safe in the shadows. My secrets are mine alone. Isn't this night supposed to be about seduction?'

Killian lowered his chin in a slow nod of understanding. ‘You're right. Of course. Forgive me.'

Hannah shrugged off the intensity of his stare. ‘There is nothing to forgive. You asked me what I know about pleasure. I know kissing is quite pleasant. I was hoping we could do more of that.' She needed to take back control of this evening. Sharing her body with this man was much safer than baring her soul.

Killian reached out and gripped both of her hips, moving her to stand between his spread legs.

Holy hell. Perhaps not.

Baring her body suddenly seemed just as daunting as throwing a light on her hidden depths. Bravado was quickly replaced by panic. Her breath came in rapid pants.

Killian's lips curled in a wicked smirk. ‘Ah, yes. Kissing is quite pleasant. And there are so many places one can be kissed.' He raised an eyebrow and his gaze travelled from her lips to her breasts to lower, where the juncture between her thighs hid beneath two insignificant layers of flannel and cotton. ‘Perhaps tonight, I can show you some new places to kiss.' His hands burned through the thin layers of cloth, scalding her skin.

Tingles burst every place his direct stare touched. ‘Yes. Certainly. I mean to say. That would be quite agreeable. To me. I would agree. To that proposition.' She couldn't think. She had no clue what she'd just said. Why didn't the damnable man get on with things? If they were kissing, she could finally stop thinking.

‘Kissing is much easier with proximity.' He licked his bottom lip and Hannah almost moaned. ‘Will you join me?'

In a fluid display of strength and agility, he picked her up and placed her on his lap with her back against the armrest. Air whooshed out of her lungs in a rush.

She thought it was difficult to think standing between his legs but sitting on his lap completely destroyed her concentration. Her unbound breasts were hovering at his eye level. Her bottom was cradled against his hard thighs, where she could feel the growing evidence of his desire jutting upward. She wriggled in an attempt to stand, but he clamped his arm over her legs and clasped her hip.

‘Don't. Move,' he growled.

Hannah froze as Killian took deep breaths through his nose.

‘I am trying to keep control of myself, but if you continue to wiggle like that, I'll be lost.' He captured her gaze, and Hannah was almost swept away by the wildness in his eyes.

‘I only meant to stand,' she whispered.

His words were a revelation. She had just as much control over him as he did over her. Hannah always imagined the man would hold command in sexual encounters. It was one of her biggest hesitations. But watching Killian tremble with desire, she felt a unique power, different from facing a man in battle, but just as potent.

He rubbed his thumb in slow circles against her hip. ‘Yes. Of course. Is this too fast? Do you need to get up?'

His willingness to release her made her need to escape less imperative. ‘No. I think I like it. You just startled me. I didn't expect you to want me on your lap.'

‘I want you any way I can get you.' He moved his hand from her hip to her cheek where his fingers feathered over her scar. ‘I wonder, will you tell me how you got this?'

Hannah froze. ‘No.'

Killian's gaze leapt from her cheek to her eyes. He nodded. ‘Ah. And now we're back to secrets. Some scars leave greater wounds on our soul than our skin. Later maybe?'

Never.

Hannah pressed her lips together and stayed silent.

His fingers delved into her hair, and he urged her face closer, pressing his mouth against hers.

Finally!

It was a relief to be pulled out of her mind and into a riot of sensations. This time, his kiss was far from chaste. He plunged his tongue into her depths. Hannah tasted whiskey and mint.

She twisted her torso to face him more fully. Resting one hand on his shoulder, she marvelled at the feel of his muscles as they flexed and twitched beneath her fingers. Her other hand drifted up, getting lost in his thick curls. She tugged gently and when he moaned, she pulled harder. This is what she craved. To stop thinking and just feel.

He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, his bite sharp enough to flirt with pain. It was glorious. She gripped his head and scraped her teeth over his top lip.

‘Straddle me.' He lifted her, creating space for her to spread her thighs on either side of his lap. Her shift crept higher, exposing her ankles, calves, and knees to the night as she complied with his request. The fire warmed her back.

He deepened their kiss. Strong fingers pressed against the small of her back, pulling her closer to him until the ridge of his cock rubbed her cleft. His rough cotton pants created delicious friction against her delicate core. Hannah gasped as he rolled his hips up. The only thing separating where he ground himself against her intimate flesh was his breeches.

He nibbled down her neck, across her collarbone. ‘Will you remove your wrap?' Looking up at her, his eyes partially hooded and darkened by desire, Hannah was struck by his beauty.

She didn't hesitate. Stripping off her flannel wrap in a frenzy, she heedlessly threw it on the floor. Her shift draped off one shoulder. Looking down at herself: her nipples were smudges of dark pink, peaked against the translucently thin cotton. She should be embarrassed, but desire emboldened her, and she arched her back, offering her breasts to him like a sacrifice.

The raw hunger in his eyes reminded her, she was no sacrifice. She was a goddess, and he was in her thrall.

Killian dipped his head and sucked her nipple through the material. The contrast between his hot mouth and the wet cotton against her puckered flesh was overwhelming. Hannah moaned and leaned her head back, pushing harder into him.

He nipped and suckled until Hannah was sure she would fly into a thousand pieces. While his mouth was occupied with one nipple, his fingers dipped under the loose neckline of her nightgown and found the other. Demanding fingers pinched and squeezed, flicked and rubbed. Fissures of pleasure sparked and smouldered low in her belly, rippling out in waves. She rubbed her aching core against the hard flesh of his cock. Something sharp and sweet came alive.

Her world narrowed to his mouth, her breasts, his fingers, and her rolling hips. She was chasing something, pursuing it as ruthlessly as any criminal until ecstasy expanded in an explosion. She cried out, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Power and need coalesced in a conflagration of sensation that coursed through her, igniting every nerve ending in her body. Even her toes tingled. The pleasure washed through her in waves that slowly ebbed to a buzzing hum.

‘What just happened?' Hannah whispered against his temple. She had heard of transforming religious experiences. Now she understood.

He pulled away from her. When she opened her eyes, he was watching her. Air sawed harshly in and out of his lungs, and his cheeks were dark with colour. ‘You found your climax.'

An aching emptiness echoed deep within her, a poignant counterpoint to the pleasure effusing her body. ‘That was… consuming. Amazing.'

She shifted and felt the hard ridge of his erection. More. Instinctively, she knew this was only a piece of something much greater. And she wanted it. All of it.

Killian pressed his lips together in a tight line and hissed.

Hannah was intimately acquainted with pain. She understood how to deliver and endure it, so she recognised the signs in others. Awareness dawned. ‘You're hurting. Oh, God. Did I do that to you?' She clambered off his lap and backed away. Her gaze locked on his lap, and she was horrified to see her wetness on his breeches. ‘I'm so sorry.'

His smile was closer to a grimace. ‘Don't be sorry. Watching you fly apart was…' he didn't finish his sentence but shifted again, wincing as he did.

‘I must have done something wrong if you're in such pain.'

‘You didn't do this. Well, perhaps inadvertently, but you don't carry the blame.'

‘I don't understand. What happened?' Hannah was trained to inflict injury, but she didn't relish the idea of hurting someone unintentionally. Especially not Killian. Not now.

‘It's not so much what happened, but what didn't.'

Hannah shook her head. ‘You're speaking in riddles. Please, tell me plainly what caused this so I can avoid doing it again.'

‘That's not possible.'

‘Killian.' She infused her voice with a warning. ‘Why are you in pain?'

He exhaled through clenched teeth. ‘When a man is aroused, he grows hard. His cock fills with seed. If he doesn't, er, release it, there can be pain.'

How intriguing.

Hannah couldn't stop from staring at the juncture of his thighs where his placket strained to contain the hardened flesh. ‘Can a man only release his, well, I suppose when he enters… I mean to say, can that only happen when he is inside a woman?' Hannah pressed her hand against her hot cheek. The things they said to each other! Madness.

Killian's face reddened, and she found a surprising measure of satisfaction in knowing he shared in her embarrassment.

‘No. And if a man and woman are trying to avoid pregnancy, it's best for it not to happen inside a woman at all.'

‘Truly?' Did other women know this? Hannah was full of questions ‘How then do you find, er, release?'

‘There are other ways.'

Bending to pick up her robe, Hannah wrapped herself in the warm flannel. She sat again on the chair. ‘If there are other ways to alleviate your discomfort, we must explore them. You can't just sit here and suffer.'

Air exploded from Killian in a harsh laugh. ‘How generous of you. I don't think you are quite ready for that. I shall retire to my room and deal with this alone.'

Hannah was suddenly very interested in knowing exactly what Killian might do to deal with his problem. ‘I don't want you to leave. Not yet. You said you would stop when I asked, but I haven't asked yet.'

‘You don't want to watch me frig myself, Hannah.'

She blinked. The image conjured by his words was equal parts forbidden and fascinating.

‘When you were kissing me, something happened. You said I found my climax.'

‘Yes. It can happen sometimes when a man plays with a woman's nipples, but more often when a man… well, there are other ways.'

‘It was lovely. And powerful. And consuming. Will it feel like that for you when you release your seed?' Such mysteries she was unravelling.

Killian closed his eyes and clenched his hand in a fist. ‘Similar, I would imagine.'

‘Then, please, find your climax. And, let me watch.'