Chapter Eighteen

We left the shores of Vix that very night. Where were we headed? To the other side of the world—the Kingdom of Racul. Specifically, the crown city of Mhavenna. Teng was friends with the Duke of Mhavenna—an ex-assassin human who had mated the King. That connection was a huge bonus, but mainly, we wanted to get as far away from Gavemor as possible. Because, from my one brief interaction with King Lyrandir, I knew he wouldn't give his prize up easily. If Aras failed, the Hulfrin was dead, and the King would hunt us himself.

"Thank the Gods you never gave us up," Teng said to me.

We were sitting on the poop deck, lounging on the bench behind the helm as we sipped mugs of coffee and stared at the stars. Or, in my case, the sea. It would take several weeks just to cross Morilren, but I dreaded leaving these waters. Dreaded and hoped. Maybe the distance would thin my memories of Vax.

"Huh?" I asked.

"If you had given that Hulfrin our names, he might have had a chance of finding us," Teng explained. "But you were too strong for him." He punched my shoulder playfully. "I'm so fucking proud of you."

"Thanks." I looked back at the dark waves.

"But what the fuck are you doing here, Zix?"

My gaze jerked back to him. "What do you mean?"

"Stop pretending." Teng sighed. "Fuck, it's been rough watching you. I've never seen you like this."

"What do you mean?"

"What did I just say?" he shot back. "It's me. I know you better than anyone. You're in love with him, aren't you?"

I gaped at Teng. "No. No, I . . ." I trailed off. "Oh, fuck. Is that what's wrong with me?"

"Yup. You've got it bad. So tell me why you're here and not with him."

"I'm a pirate, Teng. I can't be the consort of a king."

"He offered to make you his consort?! Shit, Zix! That's a big deal."

"He was high on sex. He would have come to his senses and changed his mind. No king wants a pirate for a concubine."

"That's ridiculous. Being a king means you can have anyone. You make the rules. Fuck, Lock mated a Dragon king, and he was an assassin. And a human."

"Is he not human anymore?"

"Nah. He's still human. Just immortal."

I shook my head. "That's insane."

"Yup. Way crazier than a Neraky becoming consort to a Sea Dragon king."

"I can't," I whispered. "I need this." I waved at the open water. "I can't live down there."

"Yes, you can. You were born down there. It's where you belong," Teng said gently. "And don't act as if he'd never bring you to the surface. It would be a relationship, not a prison sentence, Zix."

"If it even lasted," I muttered.

"So what if it doesn't?" Teng shrugged. "Live it up while you can. Love him while you can. Sometimes, that's all we get, kid. A few moments of love to treasure through eternity."

"But I'd have to leave you." I stared at him.

Teng grinned. "I'll always be here. And unlike our Hulfrin enemies, you know how to find me. If you want to come back, I'll welcome you with open arms. That's what family does."

"Teng," I whispered. A tear trickled down my cheek.

"Aw, come on. Don't do that. You know you're family."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "But I can't go back to him now. It's so fucked up. I think I fucked up."

"What happened?"

"He asked me to stay. He . . . said similar things to what you just did. He wanted me."

"Of course he wants you. So, what's the problem?"

"I said 'wanted' as in past tense. I don't think he wants me anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because I told him no." I bit my lip. "I told him it wouldn't last. I said I needed adventure. I fucking rejected him."

"Fuck," Teng muttered. "I suppose he didn't like that."

"He said he was offering me something most men would kill for. He asked me to give up my old life and embrace a new one with him."

"Romantic. Sounds like he loves you too."

"No." I shook my head violently. "No, he can't." But then I saw Vax again, huddled on the bathroom floor, miserable because he'd made me a slave for refusing to become his consort. "No," I whispered.

"Yes, Zix." Teng laid his hand on my shoulder. "You should have seen him. Bursting out of the sea to land on the deck in his man body, furious and anxious. His stare wild. All that hair." He snorted. "All those muscles. And every one of them was dedicated to finding you. King Vaxarion was the most glorious man I'd ever beheld, but he was also desperate. I've never seen a desperate Dragon before, not of land or sea." He frowned pensively and added, "It was rather terrifying."

"But that was after only one night together. One night and he was desperate? That doesn't make sense."

"It must have been a glorious night."

I swallowed roughly, then said, "It was." I shook my head. "He asked me to stay with him."

"He did?"

"Yeah. Said he was going on a tour of the land kingdoms that border Morilren. He wanted me to go with him."

"And you said no because of us?"

"That and the fact that he flat-out said he couldn't promise to be true to me."

"What?" Teng scowled. "That's not the way to win a man."

"No shit," I said. "That's also when he told me he has twenty-six bed slaves."

"Well, he is a Sea Dragon king. All the undersea races toss slaves at the Sea Dragons like flower petals. Willing slaves. And the kings get the pick of the bunch. You can't blame the man for taking what's offered. Besides, it sounds as if you benefited from it."

"Excuse me?"

"The guy is obviously experienced. It's no wonder you had an incredible night."

I snorted a laugh and shoved him. "Twenty-six, Teng. And guess what reason he gave for being unable to promise me fidelity."

"What?"

"That he's a king. He said it as if it explained everything. Sorry, sweetheart, I would be faithful to you, but I'm a king. It's just not possible."

He snorted. "Well, I mean . . ."

"Teng!"

"No, I understand how you feel. I wouldn't want to be one of many, nor do I want that for you. But I think something has changed since then. He offered to make you his consort, Zix."

"And he offered to release his bed slaves," I admitted.

"Wait. What? You just said—"

"That was the first night. He offered to release them this last time," I cut him off. "Before I left Shasenai. He said he'd release them and that he'd be with only me. That he could offer me monogamy now."

"Zix," Teng huffed. "Why didn't you lead with that?"

"Because it doesn't matter. You know how men are when they want something. We promise whatever we have to. It doesn't mean we'll keep our promises."

"That's ridiculous. I mean, yes, for some men it's true. But in light of all he's done, I don't think it's fair to say that about King Vaxarion. He followed you, Zix. He saved you when I couldn't. I fucking owe him. But I also saw the truth in his eyes. He's a king with everything, but all he wants is you. I can't believe you didn't see it too. You shouldn't have left him."

"I had to come back to my family. To my real life."

"Zix," Teng paused, then said, "Your loyalty humbles me. That day I found you, when I decided to take you with us, I swore to your dead father that I would raise you as best I could. Look after you. I know we never spoke about what we are to each other, but I hope you think of me as a father."

"Teng, of course, I do. You're my family. I have wonderful memories of my first father. He gave me a good childhood and loved me. And I think he'd be grateful to you because you did the same. You're my father too. I have never been more proud than the moment you introduced me as your son."

"Shit," Teng muttered. "I should have said something sooner. I just . . . I didn't want you to think I was claiming something I had no right to. But then you came back to us, and I heard how you—" his voice broke.

"Hey. I'm fine. And what happened isn't your fault."

"Yes, it is," Teng said. "I chose to go after the Tiger's Claw. As your captain, it's my fault that you were taken. But as your father, I feel doubly responsible."

"Don't do that to yourself. I'm not a kid anymore, no matter what you call me. I know the risks of living this life."

"You will always be that skinny kid I found chained to a rock," Teng said. "I gave you this life because it was all I had to give. But I've always hoped—" He cleared his throat and started again. "I've always hoped you'd find something better. You're not meant to be a pirate, Zixin. You're too good for this."

"No, I'm not. And there's nothing wrong with being a pirate." I clutched his hand. "You gave me freedom and adventure. Love and a family. You saved my life but never tried to claim it. Not like . . ." I trailed off.

Teng stared at me. "No. He didn't."

I nodded.

"Oh, fuck." Teng shook his head. "That's why you're here. You ran. You escaped him. Shit, kid. I'm shocked that you would break that law. I mean, I get it. But shit! Now, he'll be after—"

"He let me go," I cut him off.

"What?" Teng gaped at me.

"I think he knew. I didn't tell him, but I—when he saved me, I was chained. He looked after me as I healed, and when I came to, I saw the chains and had a bad reaction." I grimaced at him. "As I do."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. So, I think he knew. But I was going to leave, and I think that made him desperate. So, he claimed me under the law. Claimed my life."

"And then?"

"And then I begged him not to. He said it was done. I was shattered, but I accepted it. Then he walked away. Just left me. I found him . . . he was upset. He obviously regretted his actions. I was going to forgive him. Seeing him like that wiped away my hurt. I would have stayed after that. But he was . . . I don't know. Past that, I guess. He shouted at me. Told me to leave. Renounced his claim. Then he told me where to find you. I tried to speak to reason with him, but he yelled at me to get out or he'd collar me. He gave me four minutes to leave the palace."

"Holy fuck," Teng whispered.

"Yeah, so now do you understand why I can't go back?"

"Are you fucking crazy?!" Teng shoved my shoulder. "He did it for you! If I wasn't sure about the way he felt before, now I am. He's in love with you, kid. A fucking Sea King. He sent you away instead of hurting you. That's honorable. Admirable." He smirked. "You know, all the stuff I'm not."

"I admire you more than any man on this planet, Teng."

His smirk shifted into a soft smile. "I love you too, Zix. Which is why I'm kicking you off the ship."

"What?" I gaped at him.

"Go get your shit and leave. Go back to him. Grovel. Do whatever you have to do to gain his forgiveness. Because a love like that doesn't come around every day. That's a once-in-a-lifetime love, kid. And I'm not going to watch you throw it away. Now, go!" He shoved me toward the stairs.

"Teng."

"Go!"

I launched myself at him and hugged him tightly. "I love you . . . Father."

Teng shuddered and made a sound that was suspiciously similar to a tearful sniff. Then he shoved me away again, turning his face so I couldn't see it. "Go."

"All right, all right." I headed for the stairs. "What the fuck is it with men I love telling me to leave?"

Teng snorted a laugh.