Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

B eth and Theodore were, of course, caught.

They had always been ignored, both of them, but somehow on the one occasion that they had dared to venture out and do something that was not strictly correct and proper, their absences were noted.

“At your age, Beth?” Her father thundered, “And in your position at that. What other countess do you know that would do something so brazen?”

Beth thought back to the duchesses when they had had a drink, and smirked.

“This is not something to smile about,” her mother sighed, “Go to your room. Now.”

“No, she will not have it as easy as that.” Her father continued, “Tell me why you thought that was a good idea. Not only did you go against our rules, but you dragged your cousin into it.”

“She didn’t.” Theodore explained, but they were not interested in listening to him.

His parents ushered him away.

“This husband of yours has changed you.” Her father scolded, “We always questioned just how prepared you were to be a wife, and it always concerned us, but it would appear that you managed to marry beneath your station.”

“He is an earl!”

“He is a scoundrel. We looked past the rumors of him. We looked beyond them because he was willing to look over your shortcomings, but we were wrong to do so. You have been corrupted by that brute, so much so that you have forced Theodore to engage in your behavior. This will not happen again. We will not allow it.”

“You hardly ever allow anything!” She snapped, “Have you not wondered why he so wanted to leave? He heard you. He heard all of you. You all seem to think that if you continue to speak about us as if we are failures, we might be spurred on to find success, but all it has truly done is wear us down. I have never been enough for you, even before you learned of my incapability. That was simply yet another reason for you to treat me as though I wasn’t enough.”

“That has nothing to do with what you have done. You took a child with you.”

“He is seven-and-ten! He is practically a man, and he is more than capable of making his own decisions. He wanted me to accompany him on a walk so that we could escape all of you for a mere hour, but that is too much for you, isn’t it? It is too much of a risk, for we may learn that the world does not hate us as much as our own parents.”

Her mother took her wrist and dragged her away, pulling her up the stairs and into her room.

“You will stay here until morning,” she growled, “And unless that husband of yours comes, you will return here afterwards.”

“Why do you want me here?”

“Because if you are here, you are under our control. If you are with him, you are his responsibility. If you are alone, anything that you do is seen as our fault. So, you will leave with him, or you will not leave at all.”

The door slammed, and Beth heard the twist of the key, locking her in. She felt tears forming in her eyes, but they never quite fell. From the moment she had left Adam’s side, she had returned to the girl she was before they had met; unfeeling and cold. She had grown accustomed to her treatment, and if that was how it would be once more, then she knew what to do.

And she would be there for a long time, for she was certain that her husband would not come for her. Not when she had hurt him so terribly, and he hated her so.

She was allowed to leave the following day for dinner, but she was not hungry. She picked at her meal while the others feasted, wishing someone would cast a look in her direction. Nobody seemed to notice her, which had been precisely what she had needed the day before.

It was an uncomfortable meal, and it was the first time she had truly noticed that. Before she was married, it was her favorite part of the month. They were not happy, so to speak, but they were together. It was a short break in the loneliness that she had known. Now, it was a reminder of the life she had left behind. She missed Adam, even the way he still used his fingers to eat from time to time.

She looked at the leg of chicken on her plate, and thought about him lifting it to his mouth, smirking at her as he bit into it. She wondered just what would happen to her if she dared to do the same thing. Frankly, she was positive that if she did that, her parents would likely collapse then and there, which only tempted her to do it further.

It was silent, and to fill the quiet Beth thought of Adam’s laugh. She tried not to, as it was quite painful to think about him at all but his laugh hurt her the most, but he refused to leave her mind. He had brought light into her life, and in return she had kept a terrible truth from him. He must have loathed her, and she couldn’t blame him for it. It was as her parents had warned; she was bound to make him miserable, and he had ignored them when he should have listened.

A pounding on the door almost made her jump out of her chair.

Looking at the others, she saw that the same effect had come over the others, too. They seemed pale, as though they were in danger. She wondered if they had been expecting someone, and they were yet to tell her. Then, she realized, it was quite the opposite. They had not expected anyone at all.

The butler left to answer the door, and Beth strained to hear the visitor, but she couldn’t hear anything at all. Then, there was the rushing of feet approaching.

“I’m telling ye,” a voice came, “Ye willnae stand in my way, or I’ll move ye out my way.”

The accent was clear in an instant. It had to be him. Who else could it have been, after all? That was not what concerned her. What concerned her was just why he was there.

He burst through the door of the dining room, disheveled and breathing heavily. He was dressed for dinner, and clearly had not planned to come to her given that he was without his coat. He looked freezing, but that seemed of little importance to him.

“Beth,” he said between breaths, “Come with me. I wish to speak with you.”

Startled, she eyed him carefully before casting a glance to her parents. They did not want her to move, she could tell. He came toward her, and she pressed her back into her seat. Whatever he wanted, it would have to wait, for she had already disobeyed her parents once. She did not dare do it a second time.

“Beth,” he repeated, taking her hand, but she snatched it back.

“No,” she gasped, “I– I cannot.”

“Very well, we can speak to one another here, if that is what you want.”

“I don’t… I do not think that we have anything more to say to one another.”

There was a lot that she wished to say to her husband, but nothing that she was able to put into words. She missed him, and she was incredibly sorry for all that had happened, and she wished she was good enough to be his wife, but she couldn’t bring herself to say as much.

“You may not have much to say to me, but I have a lot to say to you. You might think I am too late, and if that is the case, then I can forgive that, but to live the rest of my life without telling you the truth, that is something that I could never forgive myself for.”

She knew that everyone was staring, but she did not dare look in their direction. Whether it was her fault or not, she was causing a scene, and they would find a way to blame her for that. She looked into Adam’s eyes, and even with the intensity of his gaze she couldn’t help but notice just how much he calmed her.

“Beth, I love you.”

She heard a gasp nearby.

“Adam, I–”

“I love you. Truly, I do, and there is nothing I want more than for you to be my wife. I do not want you to be my wife for a short while, nor for the sake of convenience, nor for any other reason except for the fact that I love you. I never thought I could find someone like you. I thought that I was incapable of love, but you have proven me completely wrong.”

“Adam, I cannot be your wife.”

He faltered for a moment, but his resolve returned. Beth ached at the sight of it. He seemed so certain of her, as though she was not fundamentally incapable of being a good wife.

“You can. You have been for months now, and I couldn’t ask for a better lady to call mine. There is nobody else that could make me this happy, and there is no question that I will adore you until the day I die.”

“”I cannot be your wife, not when I cannot have–”

“Children? Not to worry, for I do not want them.”

Beth closed her mouth, and she swore that among the silence she could hear her father’s breathing. It was all that she had heard since they learned of her condition; if she could not sire an heir, she was useless. She was nothing, and she was undeserving of love. Nobody would ever see her as anything other than a failure, and after a while she saw herself in the same way.

But Adam, it appeared, did not think of her in that way. Instead, he saw her as a wife. She was a person to him, not just a lady that could have children and do her duty and sit quietly and look nice.

“I could live without children,” he continued, “The Winston line can end with me, for all I care. I do not care to uphold my father’s legacy, and I am far more interested in building my own, whether I pass it down or not. I am more than happy to live without a child. I refuse, however, to live another day without you.”

This time, when her tears formed, they fell. She wondered quite it was about Adam that made it possible for her to feel. She had hated her more feminine traits, as they only served as a reminder for what she lacked. To him, however, the only thing their marriage lacked was the two of them being together, and that made everything much easier.

“Oh, Adam,” she gasped, “Do you truly mean that?”

“More than anything.” He replied, and this time when he took her hand, she followed him and fell into his arms.

“I have missed you so much,” she breathed into his chest.

“As have I, which is why I suggest that we never spend time apart again. Would that be fine by you?”

“I want nothing less.”

“What is the meaning of this?” Her father thundered, “This is impropriety of the highest order, to intrude on a Christmas dinner without an invitation and cause such a disruption, and to not even apologise! You truly are a scoundrel.”

“I am, indeed,” Adam smirked, “Deplorable and terrible, someone you must be very fearful of indeed, lest I corrupt your precious daughter. Except, My Lord, you forget that she is my wife, and I can do as I please.”

“You cannot!”

“Ah, well then I suppose I truly am dreadful.”

With that, he kissed her in front of them all. Beth wanted to jump back and feign surprise, but more than anything she wanted to kiss him equally as fiercely. Frankly, she did not care who saw them, as they never would have approved of anything that she did, and so she decided that she might as well give in and do as she pleased.

“Get out,” her father said quietly before banging his fist on the table, “Get out!”

“Are you quite certain that is what you want?” Adam asked, a wicked grin on his face.

“There is nothing I want more. Beth, you will never set foot in this household again, and should you ever come to us, we shall send you away in an instant.”

“That is fine by me,” she laughed, giddy from her kiss, “I do not need your household, not when I have a home waiting for me. If you never wish to see me again, then I will gladly abide by that rule.”

“Well, you heard the lady,” Adam smirked, picking Beth up in his arms, earning a yelp from her, “Which is just as well, because I had no intentions of staying here in the first place.”

He turned on his heel and ran out of the room with her, and she couldn’t help but giggle in his arms. He put her down on her feet and sighed, unable to take the smile from his face just as Beth could not.

“Which room is yours?” He asked, “I will not be leaving your things here. We shall take them right now.”

She led him to her room and they collected her things into her trunk, and he ran away with it before coming back for her, picking her up into his arms a second time.

“Adam, I am more than capable of walking.”

“I understand that, but so long as I walk this Earth, you will not know another difficulty. Now, you may choose our destination. We can visit my sister and finish Christmas, we can return to our home, or we can finish our trip to Scotland. Which would you prefer?”

They reached the carriage, and Beth sat in thought for a moment.

“Your sisters first,” she said slowly, “Then home, but only for as long as necessary, and then I believe we should make our way to Scotland. I do so want to see Glasgow.”

“Then that,” he said gently, kissing her again, “Is precisely what we shall do.”

Diana and Samantha were ecstatic to see her. They both embraced her, and neither one asked a single question. Instead, they took them to their table and served them a dinner each, and at last Beth realized that she had an appetite. Their dining room was warm, and so full of love, and Beth felt herself take a deep breath, and with it all of her tension left her.

She had only wanted a husband, but she had been given the greatest gift of all. She had a family, a real family, and was more loved than she ever could have thought possible.