Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

A dam wanted to try, even if he did not know how.

Something was making his wife tense in her own home, and if he wanted a happy home, he had to remember the saying. ‘The tranquility of the household rests upon the wife’s happiness,’ as Thomas would tell him years prior, and even if he hadn’t much cared for his household before, she had made him want to.

His willingness frightened him.

“Excuse me,” he asked the morning after their dinner, entering the drawing room, “Might you have a moment?”

“I certainly do,” she replied, abandoning her embroidery and gesturing to the space beside her, “Is something wrong?”

He looked her up and down and sighed. She had been positioned bolt upright, not at ease in the slightest, just as she had been throughout her time there. He had hoped that with all of the changes she had made, she would brighten herself in time, but she had not. She seemed scared to touch anything, as though she might break it all.

“Yes, there clearly is,” he huffed, “Beth, I can see that you are never relaxed. What is the matter?”

“It is nothing. I am simply trying to settle in.”

“It has been weeks, and you are yet to do that.”

“It is a rather large adjustment. I will be fine.”

“Beth, I do not want any lies in this marriage. Tell me what is wrong, or there is no possibility that I can fix anything. I am not a magical being capable of reading your thoughts.”

She sighed, leaning back into her seat and looking up at the ceiling.

“It is not my place to tell you these things, and even if it was, I have already made my position on the matter clear and you have not listened to me. I do not wish to expend an effort that will go unnoticed.”

“I will listen, I assure you.”

“I think you are being foolish.” She blurted suddenly.

“For letting you speak?”

“For not thinking into the future,” she snapped, “You think that by finding an English wife, you can secure your position and help your sisters but that alone is not enough, and this claimant that you are avoiding will show himself eventually. But he is not only a threat to you now, but to me as well. One might have thought you would be concerned about that.”

“I am! Of course I am, but being in a panicked state will not help matters. We ought to remain calm and do what is expected of us.”

She laughed, scoffing at him.

“If that is what you want us to do, then you need to learn manners. Especially if you want to establish our title and standing.”

Adam had always been so set on being who he was, and refused to adapt the way his mother had wanted him to. She had wanted him to speak with an English accent and learn all of their customs, and even though he had grown to enjoy the English dialect well enough to use it, he could not handle the customs. The airs and graces were too much, and he couldn’t bear the thought of learning them all.

“I would do that if I thought it would help, but I–”

“Not only that,” she continued, “But we would have to go to London, attend at least one event and project a united front. If you truly wish to protect your name, then prove it. If you do not, then that makes you a liar, and I do not think you would want to be known as that.”

“That is the worst thing anyone could accuse me of being.”

“Then prove otherwise, because your actions thus far have not proven that you want to be a man of your word.”

He laughed at her. He could tell that she was concerned, and it was too much for him to see as a normal behavior. It wasn’t malicious laughter, more surprise that that had truly been what was making her so unhappy for so long.

“You know my position on the matter,” he explained, “I have no interest in all of that. It is nonsense, as far as I am concerned. I am the legitimate earl, and any other claim will be rejected once they see I have a wife and am in England. That is enough for it all to go away.”

“And what if it is not?”

“It is.”

“But if it is not?”

“Then I will find a way to ensure you are taken care of. There is no need to be as concerned as this, it cannot be good for your health.”

He could see quite clearly that she was furious with him, but he couldn’t bring himself to engage with it. He had explained how he felt about their situation, and he could not do much more than that. If tranquility was what he wanted, then she would simply have to find that peace herself. He was not one to beg, and he was not about to start.

“Do you enjoy this?” She asked, “Do you enjoy living in such precarity? What do you suppose will happen if and when this claimant comes knocking? Do you truly think that ‘I have a wife’ will be sufficient, or do you simply want to bring yourself just far enough that you can claim to have tried?”

“That is not a fair accusation to make.”

“Is it not?”

It wasn’t true, but Adam had to concede that he understood why she would accuse him of it. For someone who had been able to marry someone for his cause, it must have been a surprise to his new wife that he did not wish to do what she clearly considered simple changes.

But he couldn’t. He had tried before, and it hadn’t worked. There were expectations that were frivolous in his mind, unnecessary in his homeland, and the simple fact that his wife preferred for him to do them was not much of a factor.

At least, he hadn’t expected it to be.

“I am going to walk for a while,” she said, leaving the room.

“I can join you if you like,” he replied, but she had already left, not turning back.

Adam blinked. Surely it did not mean that much to her?

Fortunately, there were others that might know about her. Mrs Henshaw was one of them, and even though he did not wish to distract her from her work he had to know what was so inherently wrong with him that his wife did not want to listen to his reasoning.

“Does she hate me?” He asked, surprising his housekeeper greatly.

“Who, My Lord?”

“My wife.”

She blinked at him.

“No, not to my knowledge at least. She was certainly pleased that you liked the changes to the household, and she seemed happy that you expressed pride in her. She hasn’t said in so many words that she hates you, either, so perhaps you can consider yourself fortunate if it is something concerning you.”

“She seems embarrassed by me, and when I explain that it is because of my upbringing she does not wish to hear it.”

“Is this because of your lack of etiquette?”

“Yes, it would appear so, though I cannot believe it is as important as she claims it to be. I will not have my title stripped from me simply because I don’t know which of the twelve spoons to use for a soup.”

“Using a spoon to begin with would be a start.”

“I have bread, is that not enough?”

Mrs Henshaw laughed warmly at him, and for a moment Adam felt as though he was receiving a kindly lecture from his mother. He knew that he should have felt angered by this, but he was not. He knew it was what he needed to receive; guidance. It was something his mother hadn’t instilled in him, and so he had thought it useless, but perhaps he was wrong.

“You can say that you don’t want to learn because you think it is useless,” Mrs Henshaw explained, “But what harm would it do to learn? As it stands, you are hurting your reputation, but also your marriage, by continuing to be ignorant. If all that can come from learning is good, and you still refuse to try, then that is simply stubbornness, and that is a trait that we thought you hadn’t received from your father.”

He was stubborn, he knew that, but he hadn’t received it from his father; he had received it from his mother.

“Do you suppose I should relent, then?”

“I think it would do you well to remember that there are two people in your marriage. I understand that this young lady has made an agreement with you, and that this is not a marriage of love, so to speak, but you ought to at least carry a modicum of respect for her. If she wants you to learn fundamental skills, then if I were you I would at least show willing. If you do not, then you are not the man I thought.”

It was a dressing down, but he was not angry. He couldn’t be; he had asked for her advice, after all. He also knew that, whether he liked it or not, she was correct. He had to try, and he had to prove that he wanted what was best for the two of them.

He gave his wife until that evening to think on it. Their dinner was easier that night, though he still did not use a knife and fork, but he did allow the staff to place them on the table. He ate tentatively, knowing that his wife was watching him. He wondered what she thought of him, if she regretted marrying him in the first place even if it was something she needed to do.

“Is everything alright, My Lord?” She asked suddenly.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“Because you have been staring at me wordlessly for around ten minutes now. Have I caused you offence this morning?”

“No, no, not at all. I was thinking about what you said. I have to admit that you were right, and I should have thought about it all before telling you otherwise.”

“An awful lot was said,” she replied, “Would you mind being a little more specific?”

“That is true. Specifically, I am talking about my lack of manners, and how you think they are important.”

“I know they are.”

“And how you know they are important, then. I thought about it all day, and you are right.”

“So you think that they are important, now?”

“Not exactly, but they are important to you, and so I am willing to learn. If it makes you happy to see me spearing game with a fork, then so be it. It will do me some good to have some decorum when in company, too.”

“Wonderful,” she smiled at last, “Will Mrs Henshaw be showing you?”

“Oh, no that is not possible. She has far too much to do. No, I was actually hoping you could show me? You are the only one here with the time, and as you are so good with it all there is hardly anyone better for it.”

She turned her head to one side, no doubt wondering if it was all a joke, before nodding at him.

“Very well, I see no harm in trying. Shall we start right now?”

“I would rather tomorrow.”

“I was asking to be polite. We will be starting now. Your fork in your left hand, your knife in your right. Come along, now.”

It was as though she changed the moment she had to give him instructions. Adam liked it; she became authoritative, no longer sitting forcibly upright and instead in a powerful way, asserting her dominance. She was in control, and the lady she transformed into was exactly the sort that would make Adam take notice.

“First, a few principles,” she began, “Eating slowly and gracefully is important, even if Cook has made something you love. Rushing or appearing overly eager is considered uncouth, and it makes for a strange appearance, as though you are starving.”

“How slowly do you mean, then?”

“Comfortably. If you do not do it right, I shall tell you, but you’ll find a rhythm in no time. Now, and this is important given how last night happened, conversation during meals is to remain polite and moderate, with no loud or disruptive behavior. There is to be no impolite topics of discussion, either. No politics, no mention of bodily functions, none of it.”

“Very well, as you wish.”

“And as a final general rule, the host or hostess typically leads the way in beginning each course, signaling when it is appropriate to start eating. That is easy enough for you, because if we are to host then we shall follow your lead, but should we visit someone else, it is something to remember.”

“There is already a lot to remember.”

“But it is important. Believe me, it is not as difficult as it first may seem, and you have already overcome the worst part. You have begun.”

That was helpful to hear, at least. He tried to bring some of his mashed potato to his mouth with a knife, but she tutted at him, and his eyes darted back to her.

“Foods are eaten with the fork, not using the knife. A knife must never be brought to the mouth. Doing so is seen as uncivilized. As for forks, they are to be used upside down, with food balanced on the back of the prongs, especially in formal settings. And there shall be no stabbing or skewering food aggressively. It is generally frowned upon.”

“How is it uncivilized to use a knife that is provided to you? That is hardly fair.”

“For one, a knife is also a weapon, and its association with violence makes it inappropriate for intimate or social settings like the dining table. Bringing a knife to the mouth could evoke an image of barbarity or aggression, which is precisely what we are trying to steer your reputation away from, are we not?”

“I suppose so.”

“And more to the point, think practically. Knives are sharp and designed for cutting, not eating. Bringing a knife to your mouth increases the risk of injuring yourself. You could cut yourself if not careful, and so it is easier not to tempt it at all.”

“That makes far more sense to me. Are there any other rules that I should be aware of, or might I be able to eat now?”

“Passing dishes or cutlery directly across the table is considered rude, so do not do it. Food is to be passed by a servant or around the table in an orderly manner. Using personal cutlery to serve or take food from shared dishes is not permitted, so be aware of that. Then there is the matter of what your knife and fork can signify when on your plate–”

“That cannot be real.”

“Oh, but it is. Placing the knife and fork parallel on the plate, with the handles pointing to the right, indicates that you have finished. Crossing the fork and knife in an "X" shape on the plate indicates that you are not yet done eating. This is more important than you might think, for improper placement could confuse servants or convey unintended messages. You wouldn’t want your food taken from you, would you?”

“Certainly not.”

“Fidgeting or tapping cutlery is viewed as childish or impatient, so none of that. If you need something, you are expected to ask a servant or politely request it from a fellow diner, rather than leaning over or stretching, and making noise while eating or clinking utensils excessively against plates is also not something you should do.”

“This sounds awfully taxing.”

“It isn’t at all. You shall adapt in no time at all.”

Adam smiled and nodded, and tentatively began eating again. He was already more refined, but the rules swirled in his mind so much that he could hardly think of anything else.

But he was a man of his word, and so he would try.