Chapter Fourteen

Eli had to admit that she didn't really want Alaric to leave. She'd gotten used to him being around, but she also respected his need to check on his brother. She could easily recall how unsettled she'd been when she found out Ysenda had gone over the ravine in an avalanche. Only actually seeing her sister had calmed her worries.

She only had one sister, after all. She loved her brother, of course, but sisters were different. Alaric had four siblings—Els, Jowell, Merelda, and Maryell. And he had many more cousins than she did.

They stopped at the edge of Ramsay land for a short break, and the other members of their group tended to their needs and stretched their legs. Eli needed to get a solemn promise from Alaric before they rode any farther. She made sure they were out of earshot before speaking.

"Promise ye will tell no one."

"What?"

Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Tell no one that we handfasted. I dinnae want anyone to know."

"Why no'? I was going to tell my brother if he is awake. Do I embarrass ye?"

"Nay," she said, not wishing to insult Alaric. If she were going to handfast with anyone, she would choose him over any other, she realized with a jolt. "I just dinnae wish to explain it yet. 'Tis more important to get back on this patrol and take care of the English from Berwick Castle. Once this is over, we'll tell people. But for now. Do. Not. Tell." She glared at him, trying to convince him with her eyes alone.

"Fine, lass. 'Tis no' a concern for me yet. We have more important things to do. I'll agree it can wait a moon. But after that, I'm telling. Ye never know what could happen." Then he glanced at her belly.

Blast it all, she hadn't given that a thought. Carrying a bairn? She guessed it was time to start praying again. She wasn't the best at it, but God seemed to understand her, as far as she could tell. Eli had always believed God to be a female, so of course She would understand a woman's concerns. Her grandmother had suggested it once to upset a bunch of men, and she liked the idea. Anyway, she'd say her prayers, and God would make sure she wasnae carrying.

"Godspeed with ye, and I pray yer brother has healed."

"I wish the same for ye and yer grandmother." He leaned forward to give her a peck on her cheek, but she leaned back, giving him a glare.

He laughed and winked at her.

The group split, Alaric and Dyna riding toward Grant Castle, while the remaining four headed to Ramsay land. Eli sank into her thoughts as she rode. The first thing she would do once she arrived would be to check on her grandmother. The ache in her shoulder had calmed, but the ache in her knee was the same.

"I dinnae know who he is after, but here comes Uncle Logan," Maitland said.

Eli let out a groan, and she didn't attempt to squelch it one bit. "Bloody hell."

Maitland grinned at her. "New curse word? Ye sound like Dyna now."

"I like ‘bloody hell.' Says exactly how I feel."

"And ye are sure he is after ye?"

This time, Wenna, Tevis, and Maitland all gave her wide grins. Wenna whispered, "I hope ye are right. I dinnae need to be stopped. I'm going to visit Aunt Brenna."

"As ye should." Eli couldn't disagree with her, though she was looking for anyone to distract her grandfather. "Grandsire is always roaming about Ramsay land. 'Tis the only way he'd catch all the messengers. He stays up on all the happenings in the land that way. He's permanently on patrol my father says." She hoped that's all his purpose was, but she could see he directed his gaze straight at her. "Blast it all to hell and back," she muttered.

Maitland glanced at her with a grin. "Feeling his gaze, are ye?"

"Aye," she mumbled. "Tevis, need ye to speak with my grandsire?"

"No' me, lass. I'm going with Wenna. She needs help dismounting." His smile grew, and Eli thought Wenna's hope that Tevis liked her was probably coming true.

Her grandsire came closer and his voice rang out loud and clear. "Eli! A word with ye in private, if ye please. Maitland, why have ye returned so early?" He stopped in the middle of the path, his horse blocking their way.

"We were attacked by a large group of English soldiers. We got our hits in, but we were hit too. Wenna needs Aunt Brenna. Will ye let us pass, Uncle Logan?"

Her grandfather moved off the path.

"I'll see her to Aunt Brenna's," Tevis said.

The two left, and her grandfather watched Eli for a moment before speaking to Maitland again. "English came at ye from where?"

"I dinnae know. They had nearly a score, and only four of us at the time. Eli and Alaric lost their path in the storm and fog and didn't rejoin us until later in the day."

Eli nearly groaned but managed to keep her displeasure about the secret reveal to herself. Her grandfather didn't miss it, shooting her another look. "Eli and Alaric, eh?" He grunted. "And where is Alaric now? And Dyna? Not hurt?"

"Nay. They took the road to Grant land to check on Els. We need to recruit a few more fighters, so they'll see who is available, then meet up here in two days. I willnae go south unless I have six traveling, but more would be better based on what we saw out there."

"Sounds like a wise precaution."

"Aye. 'Twill only be more English farther south," Maitland said. "I'm going to ride on, since ye wish to speak to Eli. I hope there's food at the castle."

Her grandfather laughed. "Aye, plenty. Eli and I will follow ye."

Maitland moved ahead, casting her a pitying glance, but she could handle her grandfather. "What has ye bothered, Grandda?"

"No' bothered, just wondering if ye arranged things with Alaric. Did ye talk to him about the alliance?"

She stopped her horse with a jerk on the reins. "Nay! And stop asking me. What is yer obsession with Alaric? Can I no' decide who I marry? And why do ye always pick on me?"

"I dinnae always pick on ye. Ye are daft, lass." He waved his hand in dismissal at her.

That only aggravated her more. "Ye do."

"Never have. I know no' what ye are speaking of. Tell me what ye mean."

"Ye dinnae recall the day ye yelled at me when I was shooting at the range and hit a rabbit? And I always had to shoot more than the others. They would leave, and ye'd make me shoot ten more. Why is that?"

Grandsire looked more riled than she expected. "Aye, I told ye to stop because ye were busy staring at the rabbit. And then ye tried to fix it somehow. The animal was already dead. Ye killed it. There was no room for guilt. I was trying to toughen ye up, lass. Who the hell looks at dead animals besides Brenna? And ye had to shoot more because ye were younger. When the others were first learning, they shot more, too. And their teasing would break yer concentration, so I kept ye after so ye could practice alone. Is this really why ye are so riled up, Elisant Ramsay? Seems like there's something else worrying at ye, girl." His gray hair blew in the wind, making him look older than he was, but the crafty eyes never aged.

She could never lie to him and get away with it, so she didn't try. She just didn't tell him all. "Naught is wrong. But I'm worried about Grandmama. How is her knee?"

Her grandfather cursed under his breath and turned his horse back toward home. "Her knee is worse. Brenna is doing her best with all her ointments and potions, but they arenae working yet. She always says to give it time. Well, Gwynie and I dinnae have much time anymore."

"Sometimes it does take time. Especially when the leakage turns green. Ye know it works slow. Even Aunt Jennie says so." Eli had watched many of the healers over the years, asking questions and helping whenever possible. She found the art of healing very interesting.

"I'll be going for Aunt Jennie soon. Ye can mark my words. But go visit with yer grandmama. She's no' happy when it hurts too much to walk outside. She's stuck in our bedchamber."

"I'll do that." The castle came into sight, Maitland almost to the gates. Eli sighed. "I'm sorry I yelled, Grandda. I love ye."

"I love ye too, Eli. Sometimes I may sound daft, but I have my reasons. Go find something to eat. I'll chat with ye later." They reached Aunt Bethia's house, and he waved her on. "I'm stopping to check on Donnan and Thea."

Eli was glad to have a few moments to herself. At least she had a plan now. Her biggest concern was her grandmother, but her belly was telling her she needed to feed it first. She left her horse at the stable with a lad, grabbed her saddle bag, then made her way inside. She rummaged through the bag quickly. Everything inside was drenched or dirty or both.

She had to pack better for the next trip.

After filling her belly and leaving her belongings in her chamber, she headed over to her grandmother's room, not surprised to find her grandfather had returned to his beloved wife's side by the time she arrived. They lived on the ground floor of one of the towers now that Grandmama had trouble climbing stairs. They had a central chamber with a hearth to the outside, and two bedchambers opened off of that central room. Uncle Cailean and Aunt Sorcha slept upstairs, because Sorcha liked to keep an eye on her mother.

As soon as Eli stepped into the chamber, her grandsire came out to greet her and started on her all over again.

"So did ye handfast with Alaric or no'? Ye never answered me before."

"Why must ye keep pushing me to marry Alaric, Grandda? Ye havenae pushed anyone else. They've all found their own."

He scowled and grumbled but said nothing.

Grandmama yelled from the next chamber. "Because I pushed him to do it."

Had she heard correctly? Her grandmother wanted her to marry Alaric? She didn't believe it. "She's covering for yer stubbornness, Grandda."

The old man looked aghast. " My stubbornness?"

"Eli, please join me. Logan, go away."

"Gladly, Gwynie. I'm going to the stables."

Eli heard the door slam as she entered her grandmother's chamber.

Her larger-than-life grandmother sat in the far corner, her leg propped on a stool, her knee still visibly swollen. Eli couldn't help but admire her because she'd earned herself a reputation over the years as a formidable archer. And it was such a fierce reputation that it put the fear of God into any man whenever they discovered she was nearby. Every time Eli had heard the story about Grandmama pinning a man to a tree by his bollocks for messing with her granddaughters, she had to smile. Unfortunately, her eyes had failed her long before her skill with a bow. But she'd dedicated herself to teaching others, especially any lasses in the clan.

"Yer knee looks terrible. Is it no' any better?"

"Would I be here if I could go elsewhere? Ye know I hate sitting inside."

She did know that. Her grandmother was still slender from keeping active. She kept her hair plaited, the salt and pepper strands beautiful in Eli's eyes.

"Was it truly yer idea for me to marry Alaric, Grandmama? Why?"

Her grandmother let out a huge sigh and patted the arm of the chair next to her. "I didnae wish for ye to know so I told Logan my idea. Sit down, Eli. We need to talk."

"Nay. I dinnae know if I can listen to this. I thought ye were my biggest supporter, no' the one trying to control me." Close to yelling at her beloved grandmother, she caught the distressed look on the woman's face and pulled in her temper.

"Sit down and listen, please."

She did as her grandmother instructed, but she wasn't clear minded enough to listen to her.

"And take that look off yer face. Look, I know ye as well as yer own mother does. And it was I, not Logan, who wished for ye to marry Alaric. I'll admit it."

"Why? I dinnae understand this at all. I thought ye loved me."

"I do. Before I die, I wish I could see all my grandbairns settled, but ye most of all."

Eli shook her head in denial and opened her mouth to speak, but her grandmother wagged her finger at her.

"Hush, lass. Allow me to speak my mind while I still have it."

She owed her that much, so nodded and leaned back in her chair to listen.

"I pushed ye harder than the others. 'Tis true. I'll no' deny it, but I had my reasons. Ye have the quickest mind of any of my granddaughters. I know ye'll no' believe it, but ye do. I can teach anyone to shoot an arrow at a target, but a quick mind that is open to all possibilities, that questions things, that can see other points of view and see the whole picture? I cannae teach that. Ye are born with that sense and intelligence. Ye have it."

Eli was stunned. She'd always thought the others were all quicker-minded than she was. She resisted the urge to express her disbelief and let her grandmother go on.

"When ye were young, I watched ye. Oh, Reyna was a powerful archer, but ye were faster thinking than any of the others, and they saw it too. So they began to pick on ye and tease ye until ye began to give in to them and stopped arguing. Ye let them win at things they shouldn't have, but I didnae stop it. I figured ye would grow up and when ye were wise enough, ye would stand up to them and show them who was the wisest one. But instead, ye became angry and all knotted up inside. I still dinnae know why, but if ye would let go of yer anger, ye would be the quickest of all.

"And I believe in alliances. I spoke with Connor one day about all his nephews, and he said Alaric showed the most promise. He called him level-headed, witty, with a sense of humor that others didn't have. He claimed that Alaric had the best sense of being a leader, that he could size up a situation faster than anyone else. Make decisions quickly. Something Connor thinks he himself cannae do well enough yet."

She paused to rub her knee and Eli started to speak, but her grandmother held her hand up again. "I'm no' finished." She took a sip of ale and settled again.

"There is trouble coming for Scotland, and our two clans need to have the best guidance ever. I believed that ye and Alaric could be the alliance we need to show the other clans how united we are. Ye have the wisdom, the quick mind, and the courage to be a leader. And so does Alaric, and he has the even temper to steady yers and nudge ye out of the sulks. The two of ye would be a powerful couple. But ye have to stop fighting destiny, lass."

Eli frowned, not knowing what to say to her grandmother. The dear woman had given her too much to absorb and used words she'd never heard before. Intelligence, wisdom, courage. No one had ever used those words when they spoke of Elisant Ramsay.

"Ye and Alaric Grant belong together. I can see it. How long will it take ye to see it?"

She nearly cried but stopped the tears. After all, she hadn't cried in years, and she wasn't about to start now. "Ye've given me much to think on, Grandmama, but we have another patrol to run. I'll think on yer words and let ye know how I feel when I return. I hardly know him at this point." That was only a small lie. They'd ridden patrols together before, but not spoken much, except to snipe at each other. Before the night in the cave, she'd thought she'd hated Alaric. Now, she had to admit she liked his personality. But she would not admit—yet—that she'd given the man her maidenhead and that they'd handfasted.

She would not give her grandparents that satisfaction. Not yet. It would be akin to admitting she'd been wrong and saying she'd allow them to dictate her future. Nay—she would do this in her own way.

She chose Alaric, not her grandparents.

Her grandmother sighed again. "That will suit me fine, lass. Have a good patrol. Find the English bastards and take them out." Then she leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

Eli was totally lost now.

Even though she'd handfasted with Alaric, she hadn't intended it to be permanent. She had planned to back out of it long before the year and a day. If Alaric was upset, so be it. In fact, she'd planned to let him know right away that she hadn't meant what she said. But maybe that was not the best option. Because now it wouldn't just upset Alaric but also her grandmother.

And what if she were carrying Alaric's bairn?