Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

For a few long moments, neither of them spoke. Of course, what did one say to the sperm donor who abandoned her? Go get bent?

“So, how long have you been seeing Santini?”

Sunshine shook her head. “I’m not talking about that.”

“I was just…” he sighed.

She saw that man beneath, the charmer who had romanced her mother. There had never been a bad word uttered about her father from her mother. She had never said awful things, and Sunshine was thankful for that. She was sure, knowing her mother, she understood that running down her father was in a way running down Sunshine.

“Just tell me what you want?”

“I wanted to see…”

Dammit. Her heart softened just a bit when she saw how uncomfortable he was. Suck it up, she ordered herself. She could not give in to a man who was nothing to her.

“Your mother. Santini told me she died?”

She nodded.

“Are you going to tell me how?”

“She had early onset dementia, which as you know, can cause heart issues.”

“When?”

“Ten years ago.”

She saw the moment he did the math in his head. “Who did you live with?”

“I moved in with my mother’s best friend a couple years before that.”

“You weren’t living with your mother?”

“Kind of hard since she had to go live in a nursing facility.”

He shoved a hand through his thick auburn hair. “I had no idea that was going on.”

“But you should have known.”

He studied her. From the irritation in his green eyes, she knew he wasn’t happy with the comment. Too bad. She might be his biological daughter, but she wasn’t one of his Marines. She didn’t work for him, and she owed him nothing.

“I guess you’re right.” He blew out a breath. “Believe it or not, I tried to find your mother.”

She settled her hands on her hips. “Listen, I can deal with you being an asshole, but I won’t have you stand there and act like you didn’t know where my mother was. She mailed you a letter and your response told her all she needed to know. But, you knew she lived here. You knew where I was all these years.”

Oh, mister general didn’t like being told that. Again, tough. He needed to realize that she wasn’t here to take commands or be a loving daughter who forgot a lifetime of being ignored.

“I wasn’t sure she was still here.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to go over the past. You can’t fix that you were a horrible father and husband. I want to know what you want now.”

“How do you know if I was a horrible husband and father?”

“You turned your back on me and you cheated on your wife. You suck.”

His eyes widened.

“Excuse me?”

“You cheated on your wife with my mother. Bad husband.”

“And the father hit?”

“You turned your back on me. And, you cheated on the mother of your children. All bad,” she said making a big circle in the air with her index finger.

“I should have known you would be tough.”

“Why?”

“You come from over two hundred years of Marines.”

She rolled her eyes. “Get over yourself. I come from my mother. She raised me and went without a lot of things so that I could have a good life. So she’s tough, not you.”

His lips thinned. Did he really think this was going to be some kind of Hallmark TV reunion where she forgot everything? From the expression on his face, she thought he might.

“Again, what do you want? Need a kidney?”

He blinked. “No.”

She said nothing, but she crossed her arms beneath her breasts.

“I just wanted to make a connection and to tell you that you have two older brothers and a sister.”

A slash of pain stabbed her heart. She had siblings? No, they weren’t hers.

“Do they even know about me?”

He nodded. “Jud is living on the island.”

“What?”

“He’s stationed at Pearl Harbor Hickam.”

She blinked. “I have a brother named Jud?”

“Judson. His mother’s maiden name.”

“Is that why you’re here? For him?”

“No. Well, partly. I’m finishing out my career here and I wanted to find you. Jud has been helping.”

“And?”

“He wants to meet you, as do your other siblings.”

“Nope.”

“What?”

“I’m not going to allow you to dangle a family in front of me and make me think it’s about them. This is about you trying to atone for your sins.”

“Of course it is.”

She blinked, surprised he had been honest. It wasn’t something she had expected from him. “It is?”

“Yes. I made some really bad choices when I was younger. When I was here TDY, my wife and I were trying a trial separation. I didn’t hide that from your mother.”

“But you got back with your wife?”

He nodded. “She had her first cancer scare then. Breast cancer ran in her family, but she was so young to have it. It brought us back together.”

“And this Jud, he wants to meet me?”

He nodded. “They all do.”

She sighed. “I’ll have to think about it.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“Why the change?”

His eyes turned sad. “My wife died about six months ago. It seems that she knew all about your mother. But she hadn’t found out about you until right before she got sick.”

“How did you find out?”

“I take it that you signed up for one of those DNA find your ancestors thing?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, you showed up on my daughter’s, and she went to her mother. So, when my wife was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, and we knew nothing could be done, she started to search for you.”

Sunshine didn’t know how she felt about that. “You found out about this after she died?”

His mouth twitched. “No. She made it one of her demands before she died. She said you had the right to know your siblings. You should have a family.”

“Along with their father.”

He shook his head. “She told me I didn’t deserve a chance.”

She snorted. “Well, that’s true.”

“You have my phone number. I’ve called enough.”

She nodded.

“I’m just asking that you take the time to consider it. Your siblings want to meet you, but they all understand that you might not want to.”

“Okay. I will. For them. And for your wife because she seems a lot tougher than you.”

He offered her a sad smile. “She was the strongest woman I have ever known.”

They stood there for a few seconds staring at each other. The backdoor slamming broke the silence. “Need more coffee,” Nando said as he looked at her. His gaze roamed over her face.

“That’s okay, Santini. I’m on my way. Think about it.”

She nodded as he turned and walked out the front door. The room was silent for a few moments, then she sighed. She’d been so jazzed about going for a ride, but now she felt so tired.

“Hey,” Nando said, slipping his arms around her and pulling her back against him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“My siblings want to meet me.”

“Oh?”

She turned in his arms. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to. Not yet.”

She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. “Today started out so great.”

She felt his lips brush the top of her head. “And it can still be great. We’ll go for a ride and you can just be. Stop for lunch somewhere.”

“I don’t know.”

He pulled back and she lifted her head. He slipped his finger beneath her chin. “Hey. You can’t decide anything yet, and you’ll be worrying about it all day if you don’t do something.”

She smiled. “How do you know me so well? You barely know me.”

“I know you. I don’t know you as well as I want to, but I know you have a soft heart. You might not ever reconcile with your...with General Sinclair. But, I know that you wouldn’t blame the kids. They had nothing to do with what happened all those years ago.”

She hated that he was right. She had always wanted to be tougher, but she couldn’t, not when she was one of the kids.

“Okay. It sounds great. Then maybe, we can stop by your place, give Alana and Marco a break from the kids. Maybe give them a night out?”

He smiled and kissed her nose. “See, there’s that soft heart.”

“I’m not a pushover.”

“But you are a good woman.”

She wished she could live up to those expectations he seemed to have for her, but she knew she would fail. She wasn’t a woman made for long term relationships, but she would give him what she could and hope that would be enough.

He took her through the pineapple fields. It was one of his favorite drives all over the island. It cracked him up that people actually thought pineapples grew on trees. They passed Dole Plantation and then turned onto Farrington Highway. He liked the feel of her arms wrapped around his stomach as the air whipped around them.

Even with the helmets on, it was a deeply intimate feeling having her on the back of his bike. The air up in this area was earthier, more real to him. He could almost always scent the ocean, except when he was up at Mililani but still, he liked the feel of Hawaiian air on his skin.

Both of them had dressed for the ride, although they hadn’t gone full force wearing the leathers. Sunshine didn’t have any, and his were back at the cottage. But he had insisted on gloves--he had an extra pair--and long pants and jackets.

They stopped to eat at one of her favorite stands. She had insisted she loved their poke. Of course, it could have been the worst place to eat on the island and he would happily go. He might not eat much but getting to sit across the table and watch her was worth it.

Of course, the food was spectacular. He had found that Hawaiians, both by blood or by residency, seemed territorial about their poke and shaved ice. They all seemed to have their favorite place, and people in the office were always telling him which one he should go to.

He smiled.

“What’s behind that smile?” she asked as she scooped up more poke and rice with her chop sticks.

“Nothing. Just thinking about some of the people I work with.”

“Yeah? Do you like your job?”

He thought about it. “Yeah, more than I thought I would. I never would have thought I liked to work behind a desk, but I do. I like numbers.”

“Oh no. You’re one of those people.”

“What people?”

“Number people,” she said.

He laughed. “Yeah. I have a BS in finance and accounting.”

She snorted.

“What?”

“BS.”

“What, you have a BS, right?”

“Yes, but I am a nurse. I heal people.”

“And I make sure the government can keep the lights on.”

She studied him for a long second. “You really like it?”

“Yeah. I knew I would go into the Marines. Well, I was at Annapolis and Santinis serve. So, I went into combat.”

“But you did this job?”

“Well, an O-3 can fill the job, but they prefer an O-4.”

“Uh, my eyes just crossed. What are the O’s?”

“You really don’t know?”

She shook her head. “I help my military folks, and I might know what they do, but I don’t always understand the ranks. I take it that O-3 means Captain?”

He nodded. “And O-4 is Major.”

“So, that’s good that you got that. Like a step up.”

“Yeah, and I dreaded it, but I like it. A lot. I like working all the forms, figuring out the budget, playing God with millions of dollars.”

“Ah, so it isn’t the job, but the fact that you control so much money.”

With a chuckle, he shook his head. “Nah, but it is a little heady to think I can say no to someone and give that money to someone else.”

“What will you do after this?”

For a long moment, he couldn’t think. What was his plan? Before this job, he had always thought he would go back to combat, but he liked this.

“Not sure.”

“Your dad’s an accountant, right?”

“Yeah. I get all my money smarts from my dad.”

“And from your mother?”

“My cooking ability. Plus, my looks, according to her.”

Again, she studied him. “I think you’re like the perfect combo of your parents.”

“I keep forgetting you met them.”

“Yes, well, I bet I see them again.”

“Why?”

“A grandbaby. They will be here.”

He laughed. “That’s true, and Lalani isn’t moving from the islands.”

“What would happen if Anthony got a promotion? I mean, I know he’s with the NCIS and they don’t move around all the time like the military, but to move up, you have to move around, right?”

He shrugged. “I have a feeling he’ll stay here to make her happy. Her studio is doing well.”

“Yeah. I always wished I had taken ballet, but I’m not made for it and my mother thought it was barbaric.”

“Ballet? Really?”

“Have you looked at some of their feet? And the eating disorders are horrible. Lalani didn’t have that issue, but she knew a lot of people who did.”

He said nothing about that and continued to eat his tuna poke.

“Marco mentioned you had an issue with a client a long time ago.”

“Not that long ago, but yes.” She sighed. “But, I had an order of protection against him.”

He stopped eating and stared at her. “Jesus. Marco didn’t tell me about that.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know if he knew about it. But, thanks to a very grumpy officer, who made sure the order of protection was air tight, Richard can’t get close to me.”

“Santini,” a voice called out. He turned and found Yoshi, one of the accountants walking toward him. He smiled at her. She was a few years older than him and apparently brought her entire brood with her. Her husband was in the Reserves and both of them were born and raised in Hawaii.

“Hey, Yoshi, how’s the day treating you?”

She had all three kids with her, and her husband headed off to the stand to order.

“Pretty good.” Then she glanced at Sunshine.

“Sorry. Sunshine, this is Yoshi Brown. This is Sunshine Foster.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sunshine said. He watched as the oldest of Yoshi's kids, a boy of about thirteen, blushed. He understood the affliction.

“You riding around today?”

“Yeah, too nice of a day not to.”

“Well, I wanted to say hey,” she said smiling. That smile told him she would tell everyone in the office before Monday morning.

“I guess the cat is out of the bag,” Sunshine said with a smile.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that people at work are going to know about me.”

“And?”

“You don’t mind?”

He shook his head. “Why would I?”

“I just thought that guys like to keep things uncomplicated.”

He offered her a smile. “I’m a Santini, we’re good at complicated things.”

She shook her head. “So, what now? Want to head to your cottage?”

Yes. He wanted her beneath him again. Or…he thought, he could be beneath her. He’d love to get the view of her riding him.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Santini,” she said.

He felt the heat rise in his cheeks. Busted. “How do you know what I’m thinking?”

“Because I know you. And that look.”

He shook his head. “And why not?”

“Because we’re giving Marco and Alana a night out.”

“Oh,” he said, his face heating even more. She giggled.

“Your blush is about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Shut up,” he said with little heat. Unfortunately, her comment made his face burn hotter.

“Let’s go, so we can do whatever you were thinking about later.”

That would have to be enough for now. He wanted more, but at the moment, he was pretty sure that neither of them was ready for that talk—if they ever would be.