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CHAPTER 1

HANNAH

Sitting on the steps of Julie and Joel’s veranda, wrapped in a blanket, watching the sunset in the sky. The red and orange ball hanging low in the sky is a beautiful sight, but it barely registers with me.

Not much had caught my interest since my kidnapping and subsequent rescue.

The only time I felt an inkling of anything was when Anton, my mate, was near me. I felt sorry for him. He's ended up with a defective female. One who hardly says anything and sits staring at the walls most days.

I eat when food is put in front of me and drink when I have to, but I know if left to myself, I could just have easily ignored all of that and would have happily faded away. If it wasn’t that I would take my mate with me if that happened, I would have given up long ago. But I couldn’t hurt Anton like that.

We didn’t know what cocktail of drugs they’d used on me when they’d held me, but my tiger had disappeared. I hadn’t felt her since my fourth night with my captors. That was the night I’d stopped healing from the beatings I endured.

Annie, Julie’s adopted mum, thought she was still there and just in hiding because she felt like a failure for not protecting me. I wasn’t so sure.

Sighing, I pushed the heavy swathe of red hair away from my face. I caught a glimpse of the scars on my arms as I did so and grimaced at the sight.

It was unusual for a shifter to be scarred, but as I’d been unable to heal properly before they’d beat me again, I’d ended up with scarring over ninety percent of my body. The only part of me not affected was my face.

Dropping my forehead onto my updrawn knees, I gritted my teeth at the tingles that ran up and down my body. It felt like I had a hundred ants running all over me. The only reprieve I got from the feeling was when Anton was with me and I was wrapped in his arms. It was only then that I found any rest at all. I’m sure my family was getting sick of me and my melancholy. I know I certainly was.

Lifting my head from my knees as I heard a vehicle approaching, and I saw that it was now full dark. I’d been stuck in my head so long that I hadn’t realised that the sun had gone down. I recognised the sound of the engine as Joel’s Land Cruiser, but I didn’t hear the sound of Anton’s vehicle following them. My heart started to pound in my chest and a film of sweat was forming on my skin. Where was he? They’d all gone to the airfield to look at the new plane and meet the pilot. Anton had asked if I’d like to go with, but I’d declined, not wanting to meet a stranger looking like I did. I was a coward, scared of the disgust I was sure that I would see in a stranger's face. It was hard enough around my family, and they didn’t judge me.

Sitting up, I watched as Julie and Joel walked up the stairs towards me. Absent-mindedly, I noticed that my sister was showing her pregnancy much more now. She was a lot bigger than she’d been a month ago. I’d not seen her for a year before they’d all rescued me. So many changes have happened during that time.

Tilting my head back as they came to a stop next to where I was sitting.

“Hey, Han,” Julie said softly. That was another thing that had changed. Everyone spoke softly around me like they were worried I was going to crack and break apart if they even breathed a little hard on me.

“Hi, Jules,” I replied to her greeting while I waited for her to continue because I knew she’d fill me in on where Anton was.

Julie told me about Jaq and the strangers she’d brought with her. I couldn't understand what this had to do with me until she said, “Anton asked me to tell you that he won’t be over tonight. But if you need him just to call.”

A panicked feeling welled up inside me at the news that Anton wouldn’t be coming to me tonight. The feeling continued to grow until I felt like I wasn’t breathing. With a force of will I didn’t know I had, I shoved it all down, as far as it would go, as soon as I saw the concern grow on Julie’s face.

With a nod of acknowledgment, I said softly, "Okay, thanks for telling me, Julie.”

Getting up from where I’d been sitting, I gathered the blanket around me, “If Anton isn’t coming tonight, then I’m going to head to bed.”

Leaving the worried pair standing on the veranda, I walked towards the door; just as I was about to step through it, Joel called out, “Hannah.” Turning at his call, I looked at my sister's mate. He was a good male; you could see the kindness in his eyes, and he loved my sister fiercely. I waited for him to continue. “If you need us, come and find us. You aren’t alone.”

Biting my lip to stop the tears, I smiled at him. Yes, he was a good male. “Thank you, Joel.”

Not saying anything else, I headed to the room that I’d been given after they’d rescued me and brought me back to Julie’s home. It was lovely, bright, and airy, but most importantly, it had its own bathroom. Stripping out of my clothes, I got into the shower, avoiding looking at the mirror along one wall.

Showering quickly, I got dressed in pyjama bottoms and a long-sleeved shirt, only relaxing once my body was covered and I could no longer see the scars.

Switching off the light, I lay in the darkness, listening to the sounds of the night around me; in the distance, I heard a baboon cry out and the bark of a leopard. I wondered if it was a wild one or one of the shifters.

Eventually, my eyes closed as tiredness beat at me, and my breathing deepened, and I slipped right back into the nightmare that plagued me every night unless Anton was holding me and sometimes even when he was.

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