9. Mai

Ryan led me out of the living room and into the rest of the house, walking slowly so I could keep up with my crutches. I hobbled through a gorgeous kitchen with a large island in the center. The countertops were made of dark granite, and the cabinets were in a light wood. There was a huge oven designed for people to do proper cooking.

"The fridge is always stocked up." Ryan pulled open the double doors on the biggest fridge I'd ever seen. "Everyone helps themselves. You hungry?"

I shook my head. I knew I should eat, but the adrenaline from seeing Ryan again, from coming here and meeting Jem after four years away, was seeping out of me, leaving me feeling tired and sore. My whole body ached, and the stabbing pains in my knee were back.

"You sure? I can make you something. Omelet, toast? I can whip up a curry; you used to love my green Thai curry when you were a kid."

I had loved it. Ryan used to make it for me and his brothers when Jem was off with Hayley or doing missions for Oliver. I hadn't had a green Thai curry in four years. One time, when we were dating, Seth had taken me to an Asian restaurant. I'd feigned feeling sick and had gone straight home alone. I couldn't face the memories that the taste of a curry would have brought back to me.

"You know, I'm feeling really tired, Ryan. Can you just point me in the direction of my room? Then you can get back to whatever it was you were doing before Jem ordered you to pick me up."

"Jem didn't order—"

"Really, Ryan, you don't need to do this. I just want to lie down. Please."

There it was again, that flash of green blazing in his eyes before he got a hold on it. I was pissing him off, but I wasn't sure how. He must have better things to do than show Jem's kid sister around. I was just telling him he was off the hook; surely he would be pleased? But I guess this was excruciating for him, too. Me claiming he was my mate in front of all the Packs, in front of Sarah, must have embarrassed the hell out of him.

Goddess, why did I think about Sarah? I didn't want to think about Sarah. About how she was probably at Ryan's home right now, waiting for him, maybe with three mini-Ryan's bouncing around. Or at her job, about to call and check in with Ryan, see how his day was going. Fuck, I could just imagine that conversation when he told her who was back in town.

Ryan's gaze stayed on me for a moment, then he nodded. "I'll show you the way."

I hopped upstairs, growling at Ryan every time he took a step toward me. I knew he was getting impatient, keen to get out of here, and he just wanted to pick me up and carry me to the top, but I couldn't let him touch me again. It sent electric shivers through my body, and I just wanted to lick him all over. I needed space away from Ryan. Time to get my fucking hormones and wolf under control. Thomas had given me spare pills so I could sleep, and that was exactly what I was going to do. What I really needed was to Shift, but I didn't feel safe enough here yet.

"There are six bedrooms up here. Jem and Hayley have the master at the end of the corridor. Yours is one of the spare rooms in the middle. My brothers and I live next door, so you'll be able to just holler if you need anything."

"You live here, in the compound?" I asked, surprised that Sarah would want to live with the three other Shaw brothers. Before I'd left, I'd seen how messy their apartment was and how much mess they made every time they came over to ours.

"I'm the Beta now. Jem finds it handy to have the Pack hierarchy all living here."

"Doesn't that keep you separate from the rest of the Pack? All of you tucked away behind these walls, living in luxury?"

Ryan grimaced, and I knew I'd hit a sore spot.

"Hayley insisted. As half of the Alpha pair, he can only overrule her so many times. There have been bigger issues that were more important for Jem to win."

There it was again, a hint that all was not good in the Three Rivers Pack and their Alpha pair.

"How does Sarah find it, living with you and your brothers?"

And why did I ask that?

Ryan frowned. "Sarah? Sarah who?"

"Sarah Conley." There. I said her name without breathing fire.

"Why on earth would Sarah…? Oh! No. Fuck no, Mai. I think we need to get some things straight."

My heart froze. No? He wasn't with Sarah? For the past four years, I'd assumed he and she had mated up. Not true mates, because even if I was a delusional little kid back then, I'd always known Ryan was my true mate. But I figured he'd shacked up with her, maybe had some puppies by now. Of course, whenever I thought of that, I'd get blindingly drunk just to get the images out of my head and to quieten my wolf howling inside of me. But if he wasn't with her, that didn't mean he hadn't shacked up with someone else. And I definitely wasn't up for hearing about that right now.

"I think I'm pretty straight. Besides, I'm really tired, Ryan. Is this my room?" I pointed to the door in front of us.

Ryan sighed and opened the door. It was a kick-ass room. Bigger than most of my apartments for the last four years, with a large bed in the middle and full-length windows offering a view of the gardens. The walls were painted a calming shade of blue, and the bed was covered in soft, fluffy blankets. There was a small desk in the corner, with a bookshelf to the left of it. My eyes hovered on the books. They were all my favorites from when I was a teenager. Who would have done that? Certainly not Hayley. Jem? But he never took much notice of me; had been too busy keeping us all safe and plotting to take on Oliver.

My bag of things was sitting in the middle of the bed, and the room smelled faintly of Sofia. Maybe Sofia had brought the books?

"Wow, that bed is bigger than my apartment."

Strangely, Ryan's fists clenched at my comment. I was too tired to try to work out what I'd said to piss him off now.

"Thank you for showing me around. I'd like to take a nap now."

There, job done. Ryan was off the hook and could leave. Me, I'd take Thomas's pills and pass out.

Ryan looked at me for a moment, his blue eyes searching mine. His jaw was tight, and I thought he was going to say something, but then he looked at my arm and then my leg. "I'm going to give you this, Mai. But we are going to talk. Whatever fucked up version of events has been in your head for the last four years needs to be straightened out. I've waited all this time to tell you the truth, and you aren't going to push me away, Mai. This is going to happen."

What the hell was he talking about? I frowned, then stifled a yawn. My eyesight was going fuzzy. I needed sleep. Then, I could put a new avoid-Ryan-at-all-costs plan into action. I yawned big this time and slumped down onto the bed.

"Christ. Get some sleep, Mai." Ryan turned and walked to the door. "I won't be far. Call, and I'll be here."

I watched blearily as he closed the door, then I laid down on the bed.

Just hide and heal, then run away. My plan was so simple. And so utterly fucked. How had I ended up seeing Ryan and being installed in the Alpha's compound? It hadn't escaped my notice that all the security on the way in meant the chances of me slipping away unseen again were zilch.

If I was going to make a run for it, I'd have to come up with something more sophisticated than packing a bag and driving off this time. Fuck! My car wasn't even here; it was still at the apartment. I couldn't have messed this up any worse. I giggled. It was either that, or cry and I'd done all the crying I was going to do driving myself here. I sighed, too tired and weary to think anymore, and fell asleep.