17. Mai

Thomas declared I was okay to Shift. I welcomed it. I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted the peace that always came when my wolf took over. I could retreat to the back of my mind and just feel the movement of our body.

Thomas led me out the back of his house, down the garden to a small wooden cabin. He opened the door, and a wave of warmth and security washed over me. As I stepped inside, the familiar scent of earth and pine filled my senses. Floor-to-ceiling French windows filled one wall. Shelves full of clean clothes for after a Shift stood on one side of the room, while off to one side stood a narrow bench for my personal belongings.

"Go ahead and Shift, Mai," Thomas said, his voice soothing. "The French windows can be opened with a slight push and lead out to the forest. If you go west, it's well-protected for five miles. The enforcers do regular sweeps of the boundaries, but they know not to come in. It is for my patients and for them alone. I'll be here when you get back."

I nodded, feeling a sense of relief as I began to undress. The Shift was always a release, a way to escape the complexities of the human world and embrace the raw power of the wolf. I closed my eyes and let myself go, feeling a rush of energy coursing through my veins. My bones cracked and contorted; my skin tore as fur burst forth. It was always painful, like a plaster being ripped off, but this time, with my injuries, it was excruciating. I let out a howl of pain.

Suddenly, I heard a loud thud and then voices outside, harsh and angry. Ryan trying to get to me.

"You'll make it worse, Ryan. Stand down. She isn't in any danger. She needs to do this to heal properly, and you'll mess it up if you storm in there. She has to feel safe. If you charge in with your scent and emotions this riled up, you'll freak her out. She needs to remain calm, Ryan, and she can't do that with you like this. Come on, come back inside."

I tuned them out, the pain all-encompassing now. Bones broke, skin stretched, then pulled tight, like a band forcing me into a smaller and smaller position. Finally, the pain left me. I lay on the floor, panting from the effort. As I took a few deep breaths, I felt my wolf form settling into a calmness I hadn't felt in a long time. I shook off the lingering discomfort and inhaled. Scents flooded my senses—the earthy aroma of damp soil, the tangy scent of fallen leaves, the rich musk of nearby wildlife. And, underneath it all, a familiar fragrance—the Three Rivers. It was like coming home after a long journey, the bond with my territory flaring to life, filling me with a warmth I hadn't realized I'd missed. I could feel the other members of the Pack, distant but connected, their lives tiny threads woven into the tapestry of my own existence.

My paws touched the wooden floor as I padded over to the French doors. I nudged them open, stepping into a world amplified. The night air was crisp, electrifying, as if welcoming me back. I took off, my paws barely touching the ground, the wind singing through the trees, leaves dancing in nocturnal celebration.

The night was mine, and I was free to explore. The trees flew past me. Every step was a thrill. My ears picked up the distant call of an eagle, the soft hooting of mourning doves, the scuttle of a small mammal in the underbrush, the whispering of the trees sharing their secrets. And my paws, oh, how they relished the feel of the earth beneath them—the gritty texture of soil, the soft give of moss, the unyielding solidity of rocks.

It was like nothing else mattered, nothing else existed except for the moment that I was in.

As I ran, the tension in my body dissipated, replaced by a sense of peace. For the first time in a long time, I felt truly free. The human world, with all its feelings and dangers, the Pack's dramas, my confusion about Ryan, and Seth's threats, felt a million miles away.

Here, and in this form, I didn't feel weak. My injuries were gone. There was no one here to cower from. No one here to beat me or make me feel like I was less than I was. I'd run in these woods as a child, in both forms. I knew this place, and it knew me. The forest filled me up, and I knew that I belonged.

I didn't want to go back. I could have run and run. But my wolf had other ideas. She had none of my conflict over Ryan. He was our mate. That was it.

She padded back into Thomas's cabin and started to Shift back. It wasn't painful this time; my injuries were healed, and after taking a moment to recover, I slipped back into my clothes. I hesitated at the door. I had to face Ryan, but I still didn't know how I felt. I was so angry with him, yet my wolf was singing with joy every time she saw him.

Luckily, Thomas was the only one there when I came out of the building.

"I've sent Ryan to wait in the car. He was finding this, um, challenging, shall we say?"

I smiled at the doctor, surprised that Ryan would obey an order from a doctor. "Really? And he listened to you?"

"Yes. He knows what's good for the Pack. It's possible I've threatened, on a number of occasions, to leave if he pissed me off enough. I'm not under Pack obligations. You see, that was my condition for coming here. I can leave any time I want or any time the Pack enforcers annoy me too much. Not that I would. I like it here too much, and despite some people here, this Pack is better than most. But don't tell Ryan that. I like to threaten them with leaving every now and again to keep them on their toes."

I laughed. I liked Thomas and the fact that he'd found a way to keep the enforcers and Jem off his back.

"Come into the house. I want to do a final exam if that's okay with you? But it's looking like everything has healed up nicely."

I swung my arms back and forth, then hopped up and down on my bad leg.

I grinned at him. "As good as new."