11. Mai

Sam's voice was light-hearted, but everyone in the room tensed, including me.

"Er, let me think. No, Sam, I'm not."

There, that should shut him down.

"Come on, Mai. We missed you. You left. Ryan went crazy. Jem and Hayley killed Oliver. We've purged the old enforcers and built the new Pack, all so that it was safe and welcoming for when you eventually came back. You gotta give us something."

I froze as his words sunk in. Ryan went crazy? They built the new Pack for me?

"What?" I whispered.

Mason's voice was sharp. "Drop it, bro. Now's not the time."

"What does that mean? You built the new Pack for me?" I looked at Jem, knowing he'd answer me.

Jem threw a sharp look at Sam before answering. "We looked for you, Mai. For years. Ryan ran down every lead we ever got. It soon became clear that you didn't want to be found, but I knew that you'd come back sooner or later."

Jem paused, his gaze softening. "We wanted to create a Pack that you'd feel comfortable returning to. One where you'd be safe and welcome, no matter what had happened in the past."

"The school is closely monitored now," Ryan said, his tone gentle. "The children of our enforcers do not hold sway there simply because of who their parents are. The teachers are not too scared to speak up or punish those who bully others. Jem has restructured the whole Pack. All enforcers get vetted now. It's not a case of who your father or mother was or who owes who a favor. Each enforcer goes through rigorous tests and training, and we keep an eye on them. Anyone looking to take advantage of those weaker than them is thrown out. All Pack members get a basic income. Anyone who has the Three Rivers bond is entitled to it. We put a hydro dam in the Coldbrook River. It runs the whole town, cutting down our costs, and we sell a chunk of it back to the grid at a premium price. Shaw Investigations is funded by the Pack. Sam and Mason run a tight outfit with over fifty employees. They offer security services to human and Shifter businesses on the whole east coast, and they do a lot of work in the conclave cities."

The conclave cities were those that allowed both humans and Shifters. There were still human-only places, and some of the Shifter towns up north refused entry to any non-Shifter.

"The Pack is doing well," Ryan continued, "and we make sure we look after all our members. We knew it was what you would have wanted."

I swallowed hard, my heart racing. I didn't know what to say, the enormity of their actions washing over me like a tidal wave. "Why? Why would you do that?" I looked at Jem. "I wasn't… I mean, I was just your kid sister. I left. People do that all the time."

"That night, Mai, the one when you—"

"We are not going to talk about that night," I said, my voice harsh and my eyes darting to Ryan. I couldn't talk about the single most humiliating, heart-breaking moment of my life in front of everyone.

"That's it," Ryan growled, rising abruptly. "I'm done." Without warning, he scooped me up and strode out with me slung over his shoulder.

"What the fuck, Ryan? Put me down! Now!" I yelled. I could hear Jem and Ryan's brothers laughing in the dining room. I wasn't going to get any help from them.

"No," he said as he marched up the stairs toward my room. "I've had enough. We need to talk."

Ryan held me securely as he carried me up the stairs. I could feel the heat of his body pressed against mine, and despite my protests, there was a part of me that loved being so close to him.

"We're not talking. We don't need to talk. I don't want to talk, and you can't make me."

Did I just say that? How old was I? Five?

As we reached my room, Ryan gently set me down on my feet. His fingers dug into my hips, holding me in place. His blue eyes locked onto mine, their depths swirling with a mixture of protectiveness and passion.

What the fuck? Was I imagining the desire in them? Did I want him so badly that I was making it up now?

"We're going to talk, Mai," he repeated, his voice firm. "If you want to keep your mouth shut and just listen, that's fine. Probably better that way. There won't be as much yelling."

I glared at him, but he ignored my laser-intensity beams.

"You have to know the truth about that night."

I braced myself, trying to suppress the embarrassment and shame I felt every time I thought about him telling me I wasn't his mate and it was all some kid's fantasy. "I already know the truth, Ryan," I said through gritted teeth. "I was there. It's not something I can forget, even though I've tried. I've tried really fucking hard."

"You don't know shit. I had to reject you. It was the only way to keep you safe."

Safe?

Wait, what? "What are you talking about?"

"We were at war with Oliver and his enforcers. Jem and Hayley were nearly ready to challenge the Alpha, and Oliver knew it. He and his crew were looking for any way to weaken us. You know how hot on security Jem was. None of us went anywhere alone. Oliver was just looking for an opportunity to take any one of us out and pretend it was an accident. You were already on their radar as Jem's sister. If I had admitted that you were my mate as well, you would've become target number one for Oliver and his enforcers. And if he killed you, both Jem and I would have lost it."

My heart froze. Did he just say what I thought he just said? "Admitted? As in—"

"I know you are my fated mate, Mai. I've known for years."

My heart started beating again in a rush of blood and a thumping sound that echoed in my ears. What? Was he really admitting that I wasn't just a crazy kid with a crush?

"I told Jem. He and I decided that I had to ignore it. I couldn't tell you. We couldn't risk putting that kind of a target on your back. Then you announced it in front of everyone. You caught me off guard. I thought I had to reject you to keep you safe."

The pain of that night was still raw and fresh in my memory. "You flirted with others," I whispered, my voice trembling.

"I had to," Ryan admitted, a pained expression crossing his face. "I had to keep the focus off you until Jem had taken over the Pack. Then, we could finally be together. I never wanted to hurt you, Mai. I just wanted to protect you."

I jerked free of him and stepped back. I felt so confused. Everything I had believed to be true for the last four years was bullshit.

Ryan took a step toward me, but I held up a hand, and he stopped. It didn't stop him talking, though. "After the meet, I told Sam to go after you. He made sure no one followed you home, made sure you were safe, then he came back to help us deal with the fallout."

I shook my head. "What fall out?" I had so many emotions crashing around inside of me that I was struggling to keep up with what Ryan was saying.

"We had to smooth things over with Oliver. The night was supposed to be perfect, showcase the Pack as stable, no infighting, no dramas. The other Packs had started to ask questions about Oliver's gun business. He needed the meet to show he was an Alpha with power so that they would back off. He was not happy about the scene we caused. Jem and my brothers made sure he didn't suspect you were telling the truth, made sure the other Packs were appeased and saw Oliver as an Alpha in total control.

"We waited until the Packs left, then I told Jem he could stick it. I was done with the lies, with pretending to be someone I wasn't. I came over to see you. But you weren't there. Jem and I thought that Oliver had taken you as punishment. We raided the compound that night, and Jem and Hayley challenged for the Alpha spot. It was only after they won that Hayley mentioned you said you wanted to leave. I don't think that Jem has ever forgiven Hayley for not saying something sooner. He's always thought that if we had looked for you straight away, we might have found you."

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes as the enormity of his revelation washed over me. For years, I had felt abandoned and betrayed. Had felt that I didn't deserve to be loved. "I thought you didn't want me."

Ryan closed the distance between us, one of his hands encircling my waist while his hand cupped the back of my head and pulled me to him. I could feel the heat coming off him and his corded muscles hard against me.

"You're my mate, Mai." His voice was rough, demanding. "There is no one else for me. Not then, not now, not ever."

As his warm breath ghosted across my skin, my heart pounded in my chest. All this time, I had thought he'd rejected me. That he'd taken one look and decided that he didn't want anything to do with me.

"You absolute asshole, Ryan Shaw!" I shoved him away from me. "You and Jem decided, did you? Where was my choice in all this? You humiliated me in front of the whole Pack. In front of all the other Packs. And you knew! For months, you knew that I was your mate! You could have told me. We could have worked it out, kept us both safe. But, no, you and Jem had to know better, didn't you? Have you any idea what I went through? You tore my heart out!"

"Mai, I—"

"Get out!" I pushed against him with everything I had. He didn't shift, not even an inch.

"Out!" I yelled again.

He stared at me, seeming to drink in my appearance with such longing in his eyes it made my knees weak. Then he turned and left.