Chapter 35 - Lowyn

My heart nearly stops when he makes his vow to me. And I almost can't remember what my promise back is, even though it's so short compared to his. But I manage it. I believe in him. That's my part in all this wedding vow stuff. I will believe in him.

The people of Disciple have been making this wedding vow for over a hundred years now and every once in a while, someone will wander into my little tent and ask me about it. There is nothing about loving, or honoring, or respecting in there. There is no promise to be loyal.

Not those words, anyway.

And sometimes strangers have a hard time with that.

But the people where I come from understand that marriage isn't really about love, or honor, or respect, or loyalty.

It's about trust.

Collin Creed could promise me anything. To come home every night for dinner. To wash my hair on the weekends. To clean the dishes after I cook. It doesn't matter what the promise is. The only thing that matters is that I believe him.

Marriage is about having one person in this world whose promise to you is law and your belief in them is absolute.

That's the definition of love around here.

"I broke my promise to you, Low."

"You hadn't made one back then, Collin."

"It's not true and you know it. I might not have said those words, but I did make that promise. And then I forgot. I forgot what it meant to be me and I left." He stares at me for a moment. "Jim Bob was making you pay those hill people, wasn't he? He was taking your profit share and giving it to Blackberry Hill, wasn't he?"

I nod. Because it's true. "It was the only way Ike would let me go."

Collin looks sad. Then he looks angry. And I know he's thinking about today and not the past. About my red cheek, and the fact that he had to reveal himself to me. How he had to show me the best and worst of him in a single moment. And now he's thinking about how they made me pay for a stupid mistake that I made when I was young, and sad, and feelin' overwhelmed.

It's not fair. None of it's fair. It's just life.

"I'm gonna get that money back, Low. Every fuckin' penny of it."

"No." I shake my head. "I don't need that money, Collin. There are people in this world who will do anything for money, but I'm not one of them. And, if I'm being perfectly honest here, I don't think I'd be the person I am today if life hadn't shit on me that weekend. Jim Bob taking my profit share and giving it to Blackberry Hill was the motivation I needed to work harder. To make my own way without the safety net of Disciple propping me up. Those two men made a deal using me as their collateral. They took almost everything I had left that day I walked down that hill."

"It was a mistake. Being angry and demanding… redress"—he hisses this word out—"for a mistake is just plain fuckin' evil. And I hate evil."

"Evil doesn't care if you hate it, Collin. So why bother? And anyway, I was wrong. You didn't ruin me that night you killed that man. You revealed me as well as yourself. You set us on a path to be ourselves. And then, for whatever reason—under the guiding hand of some higher power, maybe—you came back. And now we're ready to make our promise and live up to it. We will be one of the few couples who makes our vow without regrets. That's a pretty special thing."

He takes his hands off my face and then leads me into the bathroom. Then he runs a tub and squirts some bubbles in it. I undress him and he undresses me, and then we get in the tub, facing each other. All squished together.

And then we talk. He tells me everything he's done. Every moment that he remembers. And I learn some really terrible things about him, and the US government, and people who love power and money.

Then I tell him all my moments too. I confess, for the first time ever, just how sad I was in those early years. But each misfortune made me work harder and as the years passed, I got stronger.

Collin and I get clean in that tub.

We wash away every sin.

And when we get out, we dry each other off, crawl into bed, and hold each other tight all night long.

Packing my bags and leaving my house turned out to be way less traumatic than I thought it would. That little house in Disciple was where we started. Collin and I had so much history there. But of course, it was also the root of the problem.

It's where everything changed.

And even though it didn't feel like the same place to me—even before I did all those renovations, I just didn't see it as the house where Collin killed someone—it was still that same place to him.

I offered it up to Rosie Harlow as a gift. Not to keep forever, but just to live in for as long as she wanted to. Of course, she jumped on it, her eyes bright with gratitude. And since I was leaving all the furniture and décor, she and Cross have already moved in—after Collin had a little chat with her landlord and got her out of a lease.

He's pretty persuasive.

Neither Collin nor I have any history with the house on his compound. It won't be ready for the move-in for a few more weeks, but it's been stripped to the bones and will be put back together while we're living in the cottage at the Dixie Yonder.

As far as what happened up in the hills… well, I don't know exactly how he got a military helicopter and a five-star general to take him up that mountain to save me, but I do know he made a deal with someone to make it happen.

When that debt comes due, I have no idea.

But I'm not gonna worry about it for now.

And anyway, Collin Creed is the most capable man I've ever met in my life.

About two weeks later, once things have started to settle down a bit, I call up Sassy Lorraine—brand-new headlining star every Sunday at the Disciple Revival startin' with the turn-of-story on Fourth of July. Thank you, Jim Bob Baptist. But we don't owe you one, you still owe us. I didn't even bother asking how they were gonna salvage the seasons since both Collin and I were out, but I'm sure they'll pull it off.

Jim Bob is mad, but it's not hate-your-guts kind of mad. It's more like you're-ruinin'-my-business-opportunities mad. Which can be worse in most cases. But it turns out that Jim Bob was tickled pink when I brought him Sassy Lorraine. He remembered her. She sang for his brother's wedding years back. Jim Bob's brother didn't stay in Disciple. He started his life down in Knoxville. And that's Sassy's stompin' ground.

So. Maybe Jim isn't happy, but he's nearly satisfied and that's the best I can do.

Sassy answers on the first ring. "Lowyn, my girl. How are you doin' today?"

"I'm just fine, thank you. I'm calling to let you know that Collin and Amon have a plan for your doggie."

She squeals. "That's great! How soon can we do it?"

"They tell me there's a jet scheduled for this Wednesday. We're all goin' to the Bahamas on vacay. Would you like to come along?"

She gasps. "That would be the highlight of my life, Lowyn McBride! I would love it."

"Pack your things, Sassy. And be here at six a.m. on Wednesday."

She squeals again. Then we say our goodbyes and hang up.

Her toys are what I'm cataloguing today. It's a gold mine. A 1978 Luke Skywalker Action Figure. A Monopoly game, but not just any Monopoly game. This is the very first one ever made—hand-drawn on oil cloth—and owned by the game's inventor. This is just the start. Sassy gave me four trunks of comics that together are worth more than three million dollars.

A gold mine in exchange for the safe return of one teeny-tiny chihuahua called Prissy.

Sassy thinks this is an even trade because part of the deal is that I have to put it all online so she can send the links to her ex-husband and picture him crying his eyes out as I sell it all off.

"He'll probably buy it all back, Lowyn!" she told me with bright eyes. "Wouldn't that just be the most ironic thing ever?"

It might not be the most traditional version of happily ever after, but it certainly is satisfying.