Chapter 20 - Collin

We spend the afternoon with Amon, Ryan, Nash, and Bryn—who I guess is OK with me now, or at the very least is being polite, because she doesn't even shoot me a dirty look. But right around three o'clock they all disappear, leaving Lowyn and I alone again.

We can't leave until six, so she takes me to the souvenir tent and we let the teenagers leave and enjoy what's left of opening day.

There are a lot of people inside the tent with us, all buying things, and I help out when I can, but it's mostly non-stop busy for the next couple hours, only thinning out after five o'clock passes.

Lowyn leans against the counter, lettin' out a breath. Her eyes sparkle bright as she looks at me. "I think this might be the best opening day ever."

"Because you sold so many crafty things?" I wink at her.

This is an invitation for her to come over and slip her hands right around my waist. She leans up and kisses me on the cheek. "Can we still go get my mirror tonight?"

"Peaches, I had that mirror delivered to McBooms at lunchtime."

"You did?"

"I did. When I went to drop Mercy off in the tent, I told Amon to take care of it. Rosie gave him a key and that whole pile of shit you had stacked up near the door to the church is sitting in the back of your store."

She gazes up at me like I'm a fuckin' prince. "That was pretty nice of you, Collin."

"We don't have time to be deliverin' shit tonight. We gotta hit the grocery store for a spiral ham and a couple of sides."

"Oh, now it's my turn to surprise you. Because we don't need to do that."

"No?"

She's smiling big now, like she really is about to surprise me. "Nope. We've got ourselves a reservation at the Bishop Inn tonight. They looooove Easter over in Bishop."

"I can't imagine they had an open table when you called Jessica and asked for one this morning."

"I'm sure they didn't. But I didn't call and ask Jessica. I asked Bryn."

"Well, well, well." I grin just picturing it. "I guess we're gonna have ourselves a proper dinner then."

She pats my chest. "Just you wait. The only kicker is, we gotta show up in costume. Give the Bishop folks a little encore, so to speak. Because Bryn tells me that Jessica and Michael are gonna go all-out for this."

"Well, I am certainly intrigued and that's all fine with me. I think this might be the nicest suit I've ever worn and it would be criminal to make you take that dress off before we're ready for bed."

Her eyes do a little wild dance. Like she's picturing us going to bed tonight.

"Just one thing." I hold up a finger. "We gotta take Mercy. Because she and I are partners now."

"Of course we can. She's a lovely dog anyway. Why don't you go grab her while I close up and I'll meet you over by the east gate and we can walk home and get your Jeep."

"Sounds like a plan." Then I lean down and kiss her. But it's not a cheek kiss. Not at all. It's a good, long one with lots of tongue. And when she pulls back, she's breathless and her cheeks are all pink.

Ryan is the only one in the tent when I get there. He's busy packing things away in the safe, but when I enter, he looks over his shoulder and nods at me. "I like this place, Collin. I like your people too."

I walk over to Mercy and bend down to pet her. She yawns sleepily, like she's been having the best time of her life just lazing around in this tent all afternoon. "Well, I'm glad to hear that Ryan. They are not bad people, that's for sure. But don't get too cozy with them." I look him in the eye for this next part. "It's nice. It's… a little bit magical at times, I guess. But this is an inside job, if you get my meaning. And even if you married into it, the best you'd get back is a smile to your face and overly polite words. They will never see you as one of them."

He lets out a breath, opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but then decides against it, nodding at Mercy instead. "She's been good."

"Of course she has." Then I stand up, snap my fingers, and the next thing I know, Mercy is sittin' at my left knee. "Where is everyone else?"

"Amon's making the rounds for night shift. It finally stopped raining."

"Shit. I kinda forgot it was raining. This tent is something else."

"A goddamned engineering marvel is what it is," Ryan agrees. He hesitates again. But this time when he opens his mouth the words actually come out. "So… this MacyLynn girl? You were saying earlier?"

"Was I sayin' something earlier?" He rolls his eyes and I grin at him. "She was a freshman when I was a senior and she's got a twin sister called Maizie Lee. I really don't know her. Know of her, yes. But that's it. You got a thing for MacyLynn, Ryan?"

"I could maybe have one, if it was a worthwhile investment."

"Define that."

"You know. If she's into me, I'd be into her."

"Do you want me to pass this message along?"

He smiles. "If you don't mind, I actually would."

"These Disciple women scaring ya a little bit, Ryan? Because I don't recall you ever needed a proper introduction to get yourself a woman."

He huffs a little bit of air. "This place is…"

"Weird?"

"Kinda. But these people are…"

"Culty?"

He laughs. "I was gonna say old-fashioned? But maybe culty works too. I bought one of her funnel cakes."

"OK."

"And she was nice to me."

"I'm following."

"But, as you mentioned, it was a very polite nice to me."

"Like maybe you're cute, and worldly, and interesting, but that's just not enough for her?"

He points at me. "That. This girl is running a funnel cake tent at a carnival—no offense."

"None taken. This place is exactly like a carnival."

"And I'm a former asshole rich kid who's been all over the world doing shit I'm not even allowed to talk about, it's so damn important and interesting, and she looked at me like I was trying to sell her insurance when I smiled and said, ‘Hello.'"

My chuckle comes out quick. "Sounds about right."

"So what's the deal? These Disciple women don't date outside men? The place is not that big. How could you not all be related by now?"

"Don't be a dick, Ryan."

"Sorry. It's just a fact."

"Well, the truth is, they most certainly do date outside men. Almost everyone has a parent who wasn't from here. At the very least, they've got a grandparent who wasn't. So it's not a rule or nothin'. But the profit share is something we guard. She's not gonna waste her time on just any old fucker, Ryan. She's not gonna mess up the good thing she's got by birthright. And she's not gonna share it with just anyone. So if you like this woman, you'd better brush up on your manners. Regardless of how Amon goes through life here in Disciple, you're not Amon. He put a spell on this town and he did that back when he was five or six. They love him. They do not love you. So do not follow his lead."

"So… it's OK for me to ask her out? Or not?"

"Ask her out. But if you put your hand up her shirt on that first date, she'd better have her hand down your pants before you do that. I'm not saying the women here are prudes, but don't disrespect her. You need to give her a reason to like you. And before you ask her out, you had better find out if she's got a man already. And if she does, stay away from her."

Ryan thinks about all this for a few moments. Then looks me in the eye and nods. "OK. Thanks for the tip."

"It's been a pleasure. Now, I'm gonna get the fuck out of here. Lowyn has planned me an Easter dinner."

I catch Ryan grinning as I turn, but I don't say anything else. Just walk out of the tent with my dog.

Lowyn is waiting for me at the east gate. She's talking to a few guests, smiling at them as they ask her questions, or whatever. But then, when I get closer, I hear that they are talking about McBooms.

"We're generally open during the week if you want to stop by," Lowyn is saying. "But your best bet is to look on the website because everything I have for sale is online and can be shipped." She notices me and excuses herself from the two older ladies. "Ready?"

I nod and offer her my arm, which Lowyn takes gladly and easily. Like this is something men still do. Because here in Disciple, it is.

We walk down the hill slowly, just looking out at the river and the thick forest on the other side of it. I'd forgotten how nice of a view it is when walking home from Revival. This is the same view from my front porch—Lowyn's front porch now—so it's all very familiar, but surprising at the same time.

Then we cut over to the right when we get to my street, which is a nice street for being in town. There are no businesses on the side I live on. And my backyard bumps up to a hillside covered in trees just like the one across the river. I spent a lot of time up in those hills when I was a kid. Grimm and me both, since we were pretty close when we were young.

Mercy stays right at my side like the well-trained security dog she is.

"It was really nice today, don't you think?"

I look over at Lowyn and nod. "It was. But it was weird too. I mean, why the sudden change? It was a completely different vibe from yesterday."

"I've been thinking about that all day myself. And I think Jim Bob's intention was to remind you of all the good things about Revival."

"You mean that warm, fuzzy feeling we all get when it's Christmas Eve and the whole fuckin' thing is over?"

Lowyn chuckles. "Yeah. Probably. But it did remind you, didn't it?"

"I cannot deny that his plan was clever. It was fun. Really fun. Why don't they just do that every weekend, ya know? Why bother with all this story stuff in the first place?"

"I imagine they bother because things aren't special if they happen all the time. And closing day is filled with things we don't normally do."

"So it's just a plan. Jim Bob knows what he's doing. He's kind of a master manipulator, if you ask me. He thinks the cozy atmosphere under the big tent, and the hazy, soft glow of garden lights strung up everywhere—plus the dancing—will be enough to entice me to participate. But I'm telling you right now, it's not gonna work. I don't want to be a part of the show. And if he would just let me be, I'd gladly show up and dance with you on the boardwalk every now and then to make it all special."

"He's not gonna give up on you. He wants you here, Collin. You might as well make your peace with that."

I would like to object here. Say more. But we're home. I take my keys out of my pocket, click the key fob, unlocking the Jeep, then open the passenger door for Lowyn.

But in this same moment, Mercy starts to bark. At me, no less. She starts nosing my hand, whining. "Stop, Mercy." I open the back door and point to it. "Get in." Which she does without hesitation, but I think I catch a bit of dejection when her gaze catches mine.

Fucking Amon. He treats these dogs like people and it's starting to rub off on me.

Bishop is a fuckin' madhouse of cars circling for parking spaces. You can't go into downtown using a car. You have to park and walk in, or take one of the horse-drawn carriages. They do have a nice big parking lot, but it's a half a mile away, at least. They run big old streetcars with teams of Belgians pulling them to shuffle people in and out of the central historic district. And I see dozens of these streetcars as I circle the block, looking for a space to park.

"Damn," I say, under my breath. "Bishop is going off."

"We get the crowds from nine to six, Bishop gets the family folk after that, and all the partiers go to Revenant. That much has not changed. But the crowds are definitely bigger with each passing year. At least here in Bishop. I don't know what Revenant looks like these days, but I assume it is pretty much the same."

"We're going down there tomorrow. Lucas came by yesterday and invited me, so I'm gonna check it out, see what he's been up to, and take Amon along with me."

"I'll be busy at McBooms tomorrow. Those ladies I was talking to at the gate recognized me from TV. We're always super busy on the Monday after opening. But hopefully it'll be mostly online." She points. "There's a spot. Quick, get it."

Sure enough, a truck is pulling out just as we come up on it, so I slip the Jeep in as it leaves. "We're like seven blocks away. I hope your feet don't hurt." But just as I say that, I notice movement to my left. And when I look over, there's a horse right next to us. And behind that horse is a carriage.

Lowyn opens her door. "Looks like we won't have to worry about our feet, will we? Come on, Collin. Your Easter carriage is waiting." When I look over at her, I catch a wink.

Then I chuckle. Well. I will not say no to a carriage ride with Lowyn. I get out and Mercy is at my side, having jumped out with Lowyn.

The carriage driver points to my dog. "She can ride up here with me if she wants, Collin Creed."

I look over at Lowyn. "Did you set this up?"

Her response is a one-shoulder shrug. But it comes with a blush, so I know she did.

I direct Mercy to join the driver, then open the carriage door for Lowyn, giving her my hand as she climbs the bouncing steps and gets inside. I join her, leaning back in the cushions and slipping my arm around her shoulder just as the carriage begins to move. "You arranged a date for me."

"I did. You were so grumpy this morning, and so insistent on making a thing about Easter, I figured it was the least I could do."

I lean down and kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you. It's the perfect way to end a very nice day."

"Oh, it's not over yet." She turns her face to mine, looking up at me with a smile. "This night is just getting started."

When we get to the Bishop Inn I realize what she meant. We come in on the back side, the driver pulling the carriage up along the outside of the hedge maze. And since the hedge maze is only four feet tall, I can see that in the middle of it is a tent, strung up with garden lights, with at least a dozen people here already.

"What is this?" I ask her.

"Your Easter dinner, Mr. Creed. Complete with a spiral ham, a couple of sides, and family. Maybe they are not blood family, but they are found family, which is even better because it's fate."

There is someone standing guard at the hedge maze entrance and a little velvet rope with a sign on it that says ‘Private Party.' But as we approach, the attendant removes the rope and lets us pass.

Amon is calling at me from the middle. "Hurry up, Collin. The fuckin' ham is getting' cold." And I'm sure everyone is Bishop is cringing when the f-word comes rolling out of his mouth like it's nothing.

Amon doesn't care, though. And no one likes him less when he acts like a heathen, so why should he?

We join the party and everyone from our dancing square is here. Rosie, Jacob Wonder, and April Laver, and Ethan Sardis. Even Bryn is here. She's wearing her chef's jacket, like she's working, but she's drinking a white wine too.

Ryan and Nash are here too. Sitting down, all stretched out, still wearing their Revival clothes like they are one of us. And maybe now they are. It's not every day that Disciple, West Virginia, invites outsiders in. And I think it's probable that Jim Bob did this on purpose too.

It's a way for him to tell me that my friends are welcome here, without actually telling me.

Even though the hedge maze is not tall, it is quite long. So it takes us almost ten minutes to make our way to the center where everyone is waiting, sitting under the tent around a long wooden table that was probably handcrafted locally by a talented woodworker. The table is set with pewter plate chargers, and fine china, and wine glasses that reflect the garden lights, making the whole place sparkle.

There is ale in the pewter tankards and much more on the table than just a ham and two sides. It's a feast.

Every bad thing that has ever happened to me suddenly ceases to matter. Every strange place I've ever been where I've felt like an outsider fades like a distant memory.

And this is when I realize how much I gave up when I walked out twelve years ago.

It's a nice evening. The perfect evening, actually. Right at the end of a perfect day. And all the little things that have happened in the last week are starting to add up to something bigger. It's me, living in my childhood home, with the woman I loved but walked out on, and gettin' a second chance pretty much without consequence. We even have a fuckin' dog.

It's a lot. Even when it all feels comfortable and right, it's still a lot.

Not to mention I spent the entire day at the Revival and I actually had fun.

I want to see it as… I dunno. A gift. From who though? It's certainly not from Jim Bob. He's not a bad guy—at least, I don't think he is and I'm a pretty good judge of character. But he's… I mean, it's kinda cliché because of the circus he's been running for the past forty years, but the term ‘carnival barker' fits. He's a fast talker and he's spent his entire life in this little town taking care of this little show. He's much more than a mere salesman and does more than just entice people to take a peek past the tent flap. He enchants them. He charms them. And if that doesn't work, he'll just bring the show to them.

Which is exactly what he did to me.

I like the thought of money, but I cannot be bought. If it were that easy to buy me, I'd be working for Charlie Beaufort. Because he has offered me fuck-you money to take that position.

But I don't wanna work for anyone. I wanna work for me, and Amon, and Nash, and Ryan.

Jim Bob has figured this out, obviously. Because he didn't offer me more money today, he offered me the one thing he had that no one else did—family.

Because I lost mine. Maybe I walked away, maybe it was always gonna end up like this, doesn't matter, because the truth is, until I came back to Disciple, the only person I had left from home was Amon.

And now—well, I'm being offered everything. Not my daddy, not my mama, not my sister. But everything else I lost was given back to me today.

I'm not dumb, though. I know it all comes with conditions. And it sucks that people play that way. It would be nice, just once in my life, to be given something freely without an expectation in return.

When we get home, I empty my pockets onto the kitchen counter and remember I put that key in there this morning. I hold it up as Lowyn sits on the couch and takes her shoes off. "What's this key to?"

She looks at it, squinting a little, slipping her shoes off and massaging her feet. Mercy barks and I turn to her and point. "Quiet now. Work's over." She gives me a look, but drops down near Lowyn.

"I don't know. I've never seen that key before. Where did you get it?" I can tell that Lowyn is exhausted because she sighs in the same way I recall from high school after a long day of homework, and football games, and cheering.

"The power went out this morning, so I went down to the basement to check the breakers. And this key fell out of the box when I opened it up."

"Oh, that's not the breaker box anymore."

"I found it. It's in the garage."

"Your daddy did that for me. He said, ‘Lowyn, the electrics in this house are a mess, so I put in a new breaker box in the garage.' So I have never actually looked in the old breaker box. I don't go down to that basement. I had men fix the leaks as best they could, but that place is creepy and way too old to bother with."

"Hmm. Weird though." I set the key down on the counter.

Mercy barks again, and I finally understand. "Shit. I bet she's gotta go outside. You go up, I'll be up in a minute."

Lowyn comes over to me, places her hands on my shoulders, then leans up and kisses me on the mouth. "Don't take too long, because I'm about to pass out." Then she flashes me a smile and goes up the stairs.

I look at Mercy. She looks at me and barks. I point at her. "Don't you dare be mouthy all night long or I'll take you back to the kennel." She understands what I said, but she pretends not to, kinda lookin' up at the ceiling. "All right, let's go." I point to the back door and she trots down the hallway and sits down facing the basement. "That's the wrong door, doggie. We're goin' this way." I pull the back door open and let her out, stepping out onto the back porch as she takes off into the yard.

Other than getting the key so I could let myself in the other day, I haven't been out here. But two things have changed considerably. The porch has been rebuilt, just like the front one. Nice, too. It's screened in, but obviously Lowyn has not gotten around to putting the screens back up after winter, because they're not there and neither is the door.

Also, the back fence has been removed. Our yard—before it was Lowyn's—had a tall, wooden privacy fence around it because it backs up to the hill and the woods and my mama was always yelling at me to stay the hell out of those woods. But Lowyn has removed the fence and there's actually a little sitting area elevated up on the side of the hill. Just a couple of chairs and a little fire pit.

Of course, a fence comes in handy when you've got a new dog. But this dog is smarter than most humans, so when I say, "Stay here, Mercy," when she gets close to those woods, she pretends like the thought of going up there never even occurred to her.

After a couple minutes, we go back inside. I'm gonna have to find her a place to sleep, but not tonight. Tonight she will sleep at the bottom of the stairs. And that's the direction I'm heading when she suddenly veers off, goes over to the kitchen counter, points her nose at my keys, and gives off a single bark.

"Shhh. Quiet now."

But she barks again, then sits down, looking up at the counter. And this is when it occurs to me that she's pointing to something, the way a dog who has been trained to search for drugs might indicate it's time for a search. So I go over there and pick my car keys, offering them to her.

She doesn't move. Just barks one more time, and stares up at the counter.

The only thing up there is that skeleton key. And the moment I realize that's what she's pointing to, I get a weird feeling in my stomach. I pick it up and offer to her. She gets up, sniffs, barks once, then sits back down, just as she was trained.

I look at the clock. It's past midnight. But I don't really have a job right now, so I guess I don't mind staying up a little longer to figure this out. I offer her the key again. "Seek, Mercy. Find it."

She takes off down the hallway and when I turn the corner to see where she is, she's right where she was ten minutes ago, staring straight at the basement door.

"What the fuck." I walk over to the door, open it up, and she goes down the steps without being told. I grab the flashlight, flick it on, and follow.

For a moment I think she's following my scent from this morning because she pauses at the bottom of the stairs where I was standing when I opened the breaker box.

But then she turns, first sniffing the ground, then sniffing the air, and finally walks over to the far side of the basement where the dirt floor is. She sits down, her nose pointing at the stone wall.

I shine the light on the wall. I have to admit, I've never thought twice about that stone wall in the basement. But looking at it now, after all the shit I've done all over the world for the past dozen years, I see exactly what it is.

Something put up quickly. Something probably not made by a mason.

Amon's words from the other day come back to me. ‘I got her on special. She flunked out of cadaver school.'

And that sinking feeling in my stomach is back.

There's no turning back now, though. So I walk over to her, bend down, and take a closer look at the wall. Sure enough, there's a break in the mortar. "Move back," I tell Mercy. She obeys, getting up and sitting down a few paces away.

Then I start prying the stone loose. It takes a good ten minutes of wiggling and in the end, I have to go hunt down a flat-head screwdriver to get it out, but get it out I do.

Setting the rock down, I shine my light into the hole and find an old metal box with a padlock on it. I take it out and Mercy stands up, barks once, and then sits back down. Telling me I'm on the right track.

It would surprise me more if the key I found in the electrical box this morning didn't open the damn lock than if it did—and of course it does.

I flip the top open, point the flashlight inside, and take out an aged plastic bag. Inside there is a single folded piece of paper. I take it out of the plastic and open it up.

"Well, this was anticlimactic." I wouldn't say I was expecting a treasure, but I was expecting something more than a scrap of paper with some chicken-scratch on it.

I set the paper back inside the box and point the flashlight at the stairs. "Mercy, let's go."

Mercy pops up and heads for the stairs. When I get to the top, she's looking straight at the back door. "Girl, you just went out. This hunt is over. Come on, let's go." I point down the hallway, but she hesitates. "Mercy, go to bed." After one last look at the back door, she huffs some air, turns back to the hallway, and trots off.

When I join her in the living room, she's on the couch. I consider making her get down, but fuck it. I'm too tired. I go up the stairs, find Lowyn already asleep, take off my clothes, and slip in next to her.

She sighs a little when I pull her close to me, but falls back asleep almost immediately.

I don't though. I lie there with her in my arms, just runnin' the day back in my head.

I could do this. The Revival, I mean. Maybe not every weekend, but if Lowyn's got to be there, I don't mind being there too.

It's just… nice, I guess. To be here. All the ways in which ‘here' is defined. Here in Disciple, here in this house, here in this bed, here with Lowyn.

It's all very, very nice.

I sigh, and close my eyes, smiling.

The next thing I know, it's morning.