Chapter 16

SIXTEEN

RORY

I'm trying to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks as I drop Parker off at the airport the next morning. The drive wasn't long enough and now we're sitting at the drop off zone with cars zooming around us, and I know I'm gonna get yelled at if I stay too long, so we climb out and I pop the trunk. The cold December air bites at my face as Parker grabs his luggage, and I'm a fucking mess. I'm already missing him so much my chest hurts and my throat is tight when I say, "Have a good break." I can't even meet his eyes because if I do I know I won't be able to keep the tears at bay.

"You, too," he says, his voice soft. "Say hi to your family for me."

I nod, hands in my pockets.

Chilled fingers grip my chin and raise my face. I suck in air but manage not to cry when I'm finally looking at him. His cheeks are already rosy from the cold and his lips are chapped, hazel eyes soft. He's beautiful. And I'm so fucking crazy about him.

He lowers his face to mine and kisses me softly. "See you in a couple weeks."

I nod again as the airport security guard shouts at us to move along. Parker kisses my forehead and then turns and walks away.

I get back in my car and wait for a spot so I can pull out into the traffic again.

As soon as I'm on the interstate, tears are spilling down my cheeks.

It takes me longer than normal to make the drive home because I have to keep pulling over to cry some more, and because I'm distracted I'm not driving the regular speed limit most of the time.

It's late afternoon by the time I pull into the driveway of my childhood home, and it already feels so strange to be here without Parker.

My family is hurrying down the front steps to wrap me in hugs just like always, and Dad grabs my luggage while Mom ushers me inside, Oreo jumping up and down in excitement, her tail wagging frantically.

I make my way up to my room and stare at my phone for a minute, wondering if I should text Parker and tell him I made it safely, ask him if he's home yet? But I just keep staring, because I don't know if he wants to hear from me over break, and I was too scared to ask him before he left.

I slide my phone back in my pocket, looking around my room, and start crying again at how much space there is due to the lack of air mattress. I hate it. I hate being up here by myself. I hate not seeing him interact with my family. I hate that we won't be coming up with excuses to shut ourselves in my room and make out.

I cry for a tiny bit longer and then wipe my tears before heading across the hall to Ava and Addison's room.

"You guys excited for Christmas?" I ask, trying to sound more exuberant than I feel.

They nod and gesture for me to join them. We're playing a game of Would You Rather, when Mom knocks on the door and smiles at us.

"Would you rather have a pet unicorn or a pet dragon?" Ava asks Mom.

"Oh, gosh that's a tough one," Mom says. "Probably a unicorn because dragons are really cool but they might accidently burn something."

"Yeah, but you could fly!" Addison says.

Mom laughs.

"Unicorns can fly, too," Ava says.

"Those are called Alicorns," Addison says, "and you didn't say Alicorn."

"Okay, it's time to get going to the light festival downtown," Mom says, and the girls squeal, jumping to their feet.

I leave to freshen up a bit from the drive and use the bathroom, then head downstairs.

We take Oreo with us and make our way downtown where there's miles of different light up displays to see and enjoy, festive Christmas music playing, an ice skating rink and hot chocolate.

My phone buzzes while we're standing in line for the hot chocolate, and I pull it out to see that Parker has texted me. My heart leaps in my chest and I open the message.

Parker: Hey, little rabbit, thought I'd let you know I made it home safe. I hope you made it home safe, too. I miss you.

Fuck, I have tears filling my eyes and my heart rate spikes even more. He misses me. I let out a breath as I type back.

Me: I made it safely, too. And I miss you too

I wonder if he'll reply or not, but my phone buzzes again a second later.

Parker: Can I Facetime you later tonight? We're heading to Amy's dance recital soon but I need to hear your voice.

Holy shit.

Me: Yes

Parker: smiley face emoji

I'm a little bit more chipper after that and enjoy the evening with my family. After the Christmas festivities we head to a restaurant for dinner, then back home to watch Home Alone , an annual tradition for us.

Parker calls while I'm in the kitchen grabbing a snack and I answer it so fast he probably thinks I was staring at the screen.

"Hi," I say, my cheeks flushed and unable to keep the smile from my face. He looks tired but good.

"Hi," he says, smiling back. It looks like he's in his room sitting on the bed.

"How are you?" We both say at the same time, and then laugh. We talk for a little bit about his flight and my drive, then what each of us did that day and what we'll be doing over the rest of the break.

"Hey, dude, I'm on the phone," Parker says, looking away from the screen.

"Ooh, is that the boyfriend?" I hear another male voice say, and feel my cheeks heat. The next thing I know Parker's face is gone and I'm looking at who I assume is one of his brothers. Whether it's Aaron or Archer I have no idea. He's big, like Parker, but not quite as bulky, and his hair is longer. He's not bad on the eyes, but he can't hold a candle to Parker.

"Hey, give it back," Parker says, and I watch as he reaches for the phone and struggles with his brother, who holds the phone away and uses his other arm to hold Parker at bay.

"Hey, boyfriend," Aaron/Archer says.

"Seriously, Archer," Parker says, "give it back or you don't get a single bite of my pumpkin pie tomorrow."

"Ouch, that's harsh," Archer says, but the next thing I know I'm looking at Parker again.

"And go away," Parker adds, shooing his brother.

"Hey, this is my room, too, barf brain."

"It hasn't been your room since you moved in with Aaron. Now get out."

"Fine but Mom and Dad said dinner's ready so you need to get off soon. Bye hottie!" He shouts, and I flush crimson, realizing he's talking to me.

There's the sound of the door closing and then Parker runs his fingers through his hair, his cheeks flushed.

"Sorry," he says.

"It's okay. He seemed nice."

Parker chuckles. "He's a giant turd, but I love him."

We talk for a couple more minutes before saying goodbye, and I find that I miss him even more now. Though I did notice that Archer called me Parker's boyfriend and Parker didn't deny it, which felt really good. Does he consider me his boyfriend? We never really had that talk, just the "we're not sleeping with anyone else" talk. But I don't know if that's like a "we're dating" thing or a "friends with benefits but with exclusivity" kind of thing. And I guess there's still a part of me that doubts that Parker would want more than just sex with me, or friendship, even though I want everything with him.

The following day is Ava and Addison's martial arts graduation, and then shopping.

I text Jackson that evening because I'm still worried about him after what happened at the party.

Me: You okay? I'm worried about you. You don't have to tell me anything but I'm here if you need someone to talk to. He doesn't respond right away, which has been happening a lot more lately, but eventually my phone buzzes with a reply.

Jackson: Hey, babe. I know I've been acting weird lately, sorry. I honestly am not the best right now but I will be okay. I'm not ready to share yet, but I promise I will when I've figured things out more. Don't worry about me. Have a good Christmas. Love you Kissy face emoji.

Me: love you too

I hate how sad my best friend sounds, even over text, and wish there was something I could do, but I guess the only thing to do is make sure he knows I'm here when he's ready to talk.

The next day we spend at home, just relaxing, watching movies and playing games as a family.

The following day, Dad goes to an art gallery with me while the girls go to a movie. And the day after that we go skiing as a family.

On Christmas Eve we go sledding at a hill nearby and while I've been texting with Parker over the past couple of days and talked to him almost every night, it's not the same as having him here. I just know he would love this. He would love everything we've done. Oreo even came into my room once and laid down where the air mattress used to be, looking so sad I had tears sliding down my cheeks again. She climbed up on my bed after that, and I hugged her while I cried.

Christmas morning is beautiful. There's a fresh blanket of snow on the ground and the fireplace is roaring. Mom has made her amazing cinnamon rolls again. There's coffee and hot chocolate and the tree looks amazing with all the lights lit up. Of course looking at it makes me think of Parker again, and my chest squeezes painfully.

I get some art supplies, some clothes, some books, and the girls squeal when they open their presents from me. I got Addison a science kit and Ava a jewelry making kit.

I'm up in my room putting my gifts away when there's a knock on the door. I turn to see Dad standing there, a soft smile on his rugged face.

"Hey, can I come in?" he asks, and I nod. He sits on the bed and pats the spot next to him. It's been a while since Dad and I had a chat, but I'm very familiar with the gesture. He did the same thing when I came out at the age of twelve, and when I was being bullied in school. And when I was scared of learning to drive. And before I left for college.

Tears are already filling my eyes when I sit down next to him and I wipe them away.

"Listen, bud," he starts, his voice gentle as he grips my shoulder and squeezes. "Your Mom and I wanted to see how you're doing. You've seemed sad since you got here and we want to make sure everything is okay."

"Yeah," I nod, wiping tears away again, but more keep coming. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He gives me a rueful smile and I flush. "It's okay if you're not fine. It's okay if you miss him, son."

I start to sob then and bury my face in Dad's shoulder as he wraps his arm around me. "I shouldn't miss him this much," I sniffle. "It's only been a few days, and I'm with you guys."

He chuckles and his shoulder moves against me. "Love doesn't work that way, bud."

I raise my head and stare at him. I swallow. "I don't–" He levels me with a look that says he wasn't born yesterday and I flush again.

"Wanna try that again?" he says, his voice a mixture of compassion and humor.

"Shit," I say, more tears sliding down my cheeks as I bury my face in Dad's shoulder again. "I'm in love with him."

"I know," he says, rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry I've been so miserable. I don't mean to be rude. I really am enjoying being home."

"I know that, too," he says. "And we're glad to have you here. But we need you to leave."

"What?" I say, raising my head again, eyes wide.

He laughs and grips the back of my neck. "You need to see him, Rory. And if you're feeling brave enough, you need to tell him how you feel."

"But I don't go back to school for a week," I point out.

"I know, but your Mom and I were thinking that maybe you'd like to fly out to see Parker over break."

My eyes widen even further. "What?"

"We want you to be happy, Rory. And we know you love us, but we also knew that at some point you would meet someone who would be the man you deserved and that he would come first."

"But, Ava and Addison–"

"Will be fine. They are perceptive, too, and they love you. I think if you don't get on a plane and tell that boy how you feel, they might not let you join their tea parties anymore." He grins and so do I.

Twenty four hours later, I'm climbing out of the Uber that dropped me off in front of what I'm hoping is Parker's house, or this is going to be hella awkward. I didn't tell him I was coming. I kinda wanted to surprise him, or maybe I am still trying to screw up the courage to tell him how I feel, but I'm telling myself it's the former, or I might pass out. My parents said they talked with Parker's parents, so I'm not surprising everyone.

The weather is beautiful. It's mid afternoon in California, sunny, warm, and just about perfect with the breeze ruffling my hair as I take a deep breath and knock on the front door.

I hear voices inside and can't help laughing when someone, not Parker, says, "Because I told you to, dick face, and I'm older. Move it."

The door opens and Parker is standing there mumbling, "That doesn't even make any sense," when he sees me. His eyes widen and his mouth gapes.

"Little rabbit?" he says, and my chest squeezes.

"Hi."

The next thing I know he's got his arms around me and my feet are off the ground as he squeezes me so tightly I think I feel a couple of ribs cracking. I wrap my legs around him and hold on as his grip on me loosens enough for me to breathe again. Then we're staring at each other, and I can't believe how fucking happy I am.

"Is it really you?" he says, and I nod.

"I can't believe you're here. God, I've missed you so much. I–" he stops short and swallows and I can't wait any longer.

"I love you," I blurt. Then my nerves catch up with me when he just stares and I word vomit. "I hope that's not super awkward when we're not even technically dating, or maybe we are, but I don't know for sure. We've never actually been on a date, unless you count those parties at school, and I don't really count that, but if you want to that's fine. And if you don't feel the same, that's fine, too. I don't want to pressure you. And now I'm realizing maybe I should stop talking but I'm super scared that if I stop you'll tell me something I don't want to hear so I'm just gonna keep going until–"

His lips crash against mine and I grunt as he kisses me hard, holding me tighter again. I tighten my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, kissing him back.

"I love you, too," he says, when he pulls away. "God, little rabbit, I'm so fucking in love with you."

I can't stop smiling and he kisses me again. "And we are dating," he tells me when we've finally pulled back for air.

I giggle. "Okay."

"I would carry you inside but someone should get your suitcase," he says, and I let him set me down. He takes my luggage in one hand and my hand in the other and we step inside. "I'm afraid it's not the quietest environment. My family doesn't really do quiet, but we can go up to my room for some privacy. I should probably introduce you to everyone first, though. My sisters and Mom are at the movies, but you can meet Archer, Aaron and Dad."

I nod, clinging to his hand tightly.

"Hey, you gonna let us meet the boyfriend?!" someone hollers from further inside the house.

Parker flushes but grins at me, and tugs me past the entryway and down the hall. He stops at a large open living area and kitchen where three men sit watching ESPN. The man who I'm assuming is his dad sits in a leather recliner. He looks how I imagine Parker will in about thirty years. Tall, muscular, but with a bit of spare tire around his middle, and thick hair that's got more gray in it than brown. He's wearing glasses and a kind smile.

"Hey, there he is," he says, reaching his hand out for me to shake. "I'm Roger. We've heard a lot about you, Rory. It's nice to meet you." Out of the corner of my eye I see one of the twins throwing popcorn at the other, who is doing his best to ignore his brother.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you, too. Thanks for letting me stay." The brother who is being attacked by the popcorn turns and gives the other brother a wet willie and that one shouts in protest before reaching over and tweaking the nipple of the other one. I'm so distracted by it all, but Parker and Roger aren't even looking at them, like they're completely used to this behavior, which I suppose they are.

"Of course. The more the merrier." He turns back to the tv like his sons aren't practically wrestling on the couch now, one with the other in a headlock.

Even though I've already sort of met Archer, I can't tell them apart to save my life.

"Say it," the one giving the headlock says.

"No," the other protests, and I look at Parker.

"Are they always like this?"

"Oh, this is nothing," he tells me. "This is them being calm."

I laugh and then laugh even more when the one giving the headlock repeats, "Say it."

"Dude, I'm not telling you you're prettier than me. We're fucking identical twins. Now get your hands off me."

Parker shakes his head but there's a smile on his face when he grips my waist and hauls me up again. I let out an "eep" but smile and cling to him like a koala as he carries me towards the stairs. "They could be at that for a while. You can meet them officially later."

"What about the suitcase?"

"It can wait," he tells me with a grin. He makes his way up the stairs with relative ease, grinning at me more as we pass a bathroom and two more bedrooms on the way to his room. When we're finally inside, Parker shoves the door closed with his foot and tosses me on the bed.

I squeak in surprise as I land on the mattress and then smile widely as he climbs on and hovers over me. "I can't believe you're here," he says, his thumb brushing against my bottom lip and his hazel eyes fixed on mine. "God, I was going crazy missing you."

"Me, too," I say, and glance at his lips. His mouth meets mine and I groan into the kiss. It only takes a few seconds of his tongue tangling with mine and his fingers playing with my nipple through the fabric of my shirt before I'm rock hard and leaking into my panties.

"Jesus, little rabbit," he rasps, pulling away. "I can't get enough of you."

My response is a whimper as I pull him back to me, kissing him harder and bucking my hips up into him.

He moans, and I pull back this time. "Should we be doing this?" I ask, trying to catch my breath as my cock aches in my jeans. "With your family downstairs?"

"Yes," he says, then starts kissing my neck as he continues to play with my nipples. I moan and tilt my head back. "It's just my dad and brothers." More kisses. "They'll be fine. Not like they haven't fucked or jerked off with me in the house a billion times."

"What if…" my words come out slowly as I gasp and moan at the way he licks and bites at my neck. "What if they hear us? You know I'm not quiet."

"Oh, Aaron and Archer are standing outside the door listening to everything already."

"What?" I say, eyes wide. Parker stops his onslaught of my neck and grins at me.

"Are not!" a voice comes from the hall, and my eyes widen even further.

"For fuck's sake," another voice says, "I told you you were breathing too loud."

Parker rolls his eyes and I don't think I've ever actually seen him do that before. I can't help laughing.

"It wasn't my breathing, shit for brains," the first voice says. "It was your stench. God, when was the last time you bathed?"

"Come here, you have something in your eye."

"Ouch."

I'm laughing even more now, and trying not to, and Parker shouts, "Get away pervs, you're scaring Rory."

"Make it good for him, bro!" one of the twins shouts. I still can't tell which one.

Parker flushes and so do I, but we hear footsteps padding down the hall and a, "Oh my god, stop it. You're such a loser."

Parker shakes his head, but he's grinning again when he looks at me.

"I love you," I tell him, and his grin gets wider.

"I love you, too," he says, and kisses me again.

We make love, and forget Parker's family. I am almost certain that with how amazing Parker is making me feel, the entire neighborhood can hear me.