Chapter 23
CHAPTER 23
TRISTAN
Three months later, when the North American tour finally ended, the guys went to Europe almost immediately. They wanted to enjoy the sights for a few weeks before we started performing. As planned, I stayed behind.
Getting through the US tour hadn't been easy. But I'd managed to get my voice under control by going quiet like a monk most days. I made staying silent my job. In that respect, it helped that Emily was gone, since I hadn't been tempted to talk to anyone else like I had been with her. It was the first time in a long while that I made myself and my health a priority. I'd even learned to meditate and would put my headphones on and drown out the world for hours each morning as I listened to calming music.
Through it all, though, I'd been counting the weeks until the tour ended so I could see her. And now that the day had finally come, I was a ball of freaking nerves.
Stepping out of my rental car on her street in Henderson, Nevada, I knew Emily wasn't expecting to see me so soon. She'd probably assumed I'd wait until Europe was over. But I couldn't. Anyway, this was the compromise with myself that had kept me from abandoning the tour and jumping on a plane to Nevada, something I'd wanted to do almost every damn night.
Henderson was nice. While I'd been to Vegas before, I'd never been to this suburb just southeast of the city. Her neighborhood was pretty residential, with a park located at the end of her street. She lived in a small, one-level home that looked like a single-family residence.
Licking my lips anxiously, I walked up to her door and knocked. My heart pounded as I waited for her to answer. Jesus . I'd performed onstage for thousands of people, and my blood had never been pumping quite like this.
When the door opened, it wasn't Emily, though. It was another girl.
I cleared my throat. "Hi. I was wondering if Emily was home."
The petite blonde stumbled over her words. "Uh…"
It took me a moment to realize she was acting strangely because she'd recognized me.
She pointed. "You...you're..."
I held out my hand. "Tristan Daltrey. Nice to meet you."
"I know. Um...wow." She shook her head. "Emily...yeah. She's at work."
"Where is she working?"
"She got a temporary position with a local company. Marketing coordinator for a project."
"I see." I nodded. "Does she like it?"
The girl ran a hand through her hair. "She seems to."
"What time does she get home?"
"Around six. You're welcome to stay here and wait."
That was hours from now. Kind of dumb of me to expect that Emily would be home in the middle of the day. "I don't want to bother you," I said. "I can catch her later."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. But would you do me a favor, please, and not tell her I'm in town? I don't want to distract her. I'll just come back later when she's home."
"Okay..." She blew a breath up into her hair. "Won't be easy to keep this a secret. But I won't say anything."
"Thank you." I took a step back. "I appreciate that very much."
What the hell was I going to do in Henderson without being recognized for the next three hours? I was in no mood to interact with people today. I probably should've traveled with someone, had security or something, but I hadn't felt like dealing with that, either. This was a trip I wanted to make alone, and anyone I would've trusted to come along was in Europe at the moment anyway.
I decided to go back to the hotel in Vegas and hide out in my room. After stopping for a few autographs in the lobby, I was finally alone again. Why I hadn't rented a house was beyond me.
I sat on the bed, contemplating my return to Emily's later. I didn't have much of an appetite, but I ordered room service and ate as I flipped through the channels, never able to settle on anything. I just kept watching the clock, counting the minutes until I could go back to Henderson. I prayed that my being here wouldn't be an unpleasant surprise. I hadn't warned her I was coming, because I was curious about seeing her in her element, not via some contrived scene she might prepare for me.
At 5:45, I left the hotel and drove back to Emily's neighborhood.
I'd been prepared for her to seem shocked when she saw me, but the fact that she was standing outside her house, looking like she was waiting for me when I arrived told me that her roommate hadn't kept her word.
Emily looked even more beautiful than I remembered. She wore a black skirt and white blouse-very professional. I'd never seen her so dressed up. It made me feel like I'd missed years with her, not a few months.
As I stepped out of the car, she walked toward me.
"Hi, Tristan," she said calmly.
She'd definitely been expecting me.
"Hi, gorgeous. I take it your roommate told you I stopped by earlier?"
"She did. She managed to wait until I got home, though. But then she couldn't hold it in anymore."
"At least she waited until then. I didn't want to upset you or distract you from your work."
"It doesn't upset me to see you." She smiled. "I'm glad you're here."
I still had no idea what that really meant. "Fuck, I'm so tense right now." I let out a long breath. "I didn't think I'd be this nervous. But I'm so damn glad you're okay with me being here."
"Tristan…" she whispered, placing her hand on my cheek.
I took her hand in mine and kissed it. "I missed you," I said, my voice hoarse. "So much."
"I missed you, too." She turned toward her door. "Come in."
"Thank you." I followed and wiped my feet at the entrance before stepping inside.
I looked around. Everything was freshly painted and new. "Cute place."
"Thank you. It's obviously a rental. But the rent is very reasonable for a house."
"Where is your roommate now-what's her name?"
"Cami. She works at a casino most nights. So she just left."
"Ah. Do you always have a roommate?"
She nodded. "I couldn't afford it otherwise."
Right. Not everyone has money coming out of their ears, asshole.
I'd buy her a house if she'd let me. But something told me she wouldn't accept it and might think the gesture was a little crazy.
There was a cream-colored sofa with flower-patterned throw pillows and a small coffee table with some candles and a coffee table book. In the corner was a large white bookshelf with the spines of books arranged by color.
"Are those your books?"
She shook her head. "Cami's. She's a huge bibliophile."
"You get along with her?"
"Yeah. She's really nice."
"Well, I'm glad it's working out."
Silence filled the air as we stared at each other for a moment. Despite my nerves, I wanted to kiss her. But that wasn't the plan for today. Nowhere near it.
"I wasn't expecting to see you until after Europe," she said.
"I figured, but I couldn't wait that long. But I did my best to respect your wishes for as long as I could."
"When do you have to be in Europe?"
"I have a three-week break. Everyone else is already there. But I opted not to sightsee with them and all that crap. It was more important that I get to see you, rest my voice, and get my head in gear."
She nodded. "I see..."
Her breathing quickened, and she suddenly didn't seem to know what to do with her hands. She'd gone from cool as a cucumber to the total opposite in a matter of seconds.
The need to comfort her overtook my vow to respect her personal space. I took her hand. "It's just me, Emily. You don't have to be nervous. There's nothing you can't tell me."
Her voice trembled. "You don't understand, Tristan." Her eyes filled with tears.
What the fuck is happening?
I brought her close and held her. Her heart was going a mile a minute against my chest. Tightening my hold, I spoke softly in her ear. "You're not obligated to tell me anything, if you don't want to. You owe me nothing. I just needed to see you. To make sure you were okay. I've thought about you every day. I've written songs about you. I've held you in my heart. I don't understand everything, but I've never felt like this about anyone before." I moved back to look at her. "There's nothing you can tell me that will change the way I feel about you. But I'm not expecting anything. I'll settle for your friendship...to have you in my life."
She looked deeply into my eyes. "I'm not who you think I am."
I stiffened. "You're not Emily Applewood?"
She sniffled. "I am, but…" Emily looked down at her feet and shook her head.
As much as I was dying to know what the hell was going on, I hated seeing her like this. She needed to calm down. I placed my hand on her chin. "Can you do me a favor?"
She lifted her gaze to mine. "What?"
"I don't feel like you're ready to talk about whatever it is you need to say. I don't like seeing you so worked up. You've likely had a long day as it is. Will you let me take you out to dinner before we talk? I doubt you've eaten if you came home from work and had to deal with me being here."
Her eyes were red. "Not sure I'll have an appetite..."
"Try." I forced a smile. "Any good Middle Eastern places around here?"
Emily wiped her eyes. "There is one, actually."
I gestured toward the door. "Let's go."
When I offered my hand, she took it. But hers was trembling.
She gave me the name of the restaurant, and I popped the address into my GPS. Emily was quiet during the ride, and I didn't push her to talk.
The restaurant was about a fifteen-minute drive from her house. Once there, she seemed to calm down a little. By some miracle, we were able to slip into the restaurant and to a corner table without me being recognized.
Emily insisted she wasn't hungry and was indecisive about what she wanted. So I picked a platter that had a variety of things for us to share. During dinner, Emily answered my questions about the temporary marketing job she'd taken and told me she planned to move back home to Shady Hills to save money once her contract was up. I nearly offered to pay her expenses so she could stay in Henderson, if that's what she wanted, but I reminded myself not to overstep my bounds or throw around my power obnoxiously. I didn't own her. According to her, I didn't even know her.
She picked at her food, still obviously nervous. My appetite wasn't the greatest either, but this time out had been good if it helped her to calm down even a little.
After dinner, we drove back to her place. Since her roommate remained at work, we were still alone.
She paced in her living room.
"You don't have to tell me anything, Emily," I reiterated. "I'm not here to put pressure on you. I'm here to offer my support, to return some of the positive light you've brought to my life. I'm not kidding when I say seeing you at the end was what got me through that tour."
"You don't understand. I don't have the option to not tell you. That's not my choice to make."
"Alright. I'm sorry. I'm confused."
"I know." She looked up at the ceiling and exhaled, closing her eyes for a moment, almost like she was praying. "I don't know how to start."
"Start from the beginning..."
She blew out a shaky breath. "I have to think about what that is..."
I placed my hand on her shoulder. "There's no rush. It doesn't have to be tonight."
"It's not going to be any easier tomorrow." She swallowed. "How long are you in town anyway?"
"A few days? But it can be longer if you need me."
"Give me a second," she said, moving over to the other side of the room. Staring up at the ceiling, she said, "It doesn't matter how many times I've rehearsed this. I just don't know how to tell you."
I watched as she paced some more and muttered something under her breath, as if she were practicing what she was going to say. I hated that she was so tormented. She'd seemed so honest about other aspects of her past; it was hard to understand why it was so difficult to open up about this one thing.
"Just start from the beginning," I suggested again. "One step at a time. It's okay…"
Emily finally shook her head and joined me on the couch. "Okay..." She took in some air. "From the beginning..." She nodded.
My heart raced. It seemed her nervousness was contagious. I was nervous for her.
"The beginning is Jacob," she said.
I nodded. "Your boyfriend who died."
"Yes."
A bunch of theories floated through my mind. She'd said she wasn't who I thought she was. Did she lie about how he died? Was she driving the car that killed him? Before I could continue hypothesizing, she spoke again.
"Jacob was my best friend from a young age. Even though we tried dating when we were older, first and foremost, he was my closest friend. I loved him with all of my heart and soul, and when he died, he took a piece of me with him."
"You told me he died in a car accident…"
"Yes. He did."
"You said you were away when it happened?"
"That's correct. I was at college."
"Okay..." I gulped.
"After he died, his mother gave me a box of his personal belongings. She said she was too distraught to go through them, but wanted me to have them."
I nodded to encourage her.
"One of the things it contained were a series of journals. He'd never told me he journaled. I didn't read them right away. But more recently, I finally had the courage to go through them. There were things about Jacob I never knew. I'm not sure his mother would've given them to me so freely if she'd known how personal they were."
"She obviously felt you could be trusted with them." What does any of this have to do with Emily or her character? "What did you find out?"
She hesitated. "When Jacob was sixteen, his mother told him he was adopted. That was devastating for him. Apparently, his parents had agreed to tell him on his sixteenth birthday. He'd talked to me about that back then. But he hadn't told me he'd taken steps to find his birth mother. Apparently, he found her about a year before he died. He'd gone to see her, and he'd written about it in those journals."
"Wow." I blinked. "That's so sad. I mean, that he'd found her and then died not so long after."
She teared up. "It is...so sad."
The pain she felt for her friend-ex-boyfriend-was palpable. She seemed to have a lot of trauma she hadn't dealt with when it came to him. I moved in to hold her, but she quickly stepped away. Taking the hint, I returned to my spot across from her at the other end of the couch.
She looked into my eyes for what seemed like a full minute. Was she having second thoughts about sharing all this? My mind raced as I tried to figure out where this was all going. Then she uttered the words I didn't know would change my life.
"His mother's name is Cheyenne."