19. NINETEEN

NINETEEN

W e walk hand-in-hand up a dark side staircase to my room on the third floor. Luca sits on the bed shirtless with the television on and a few empty mini liquor bottles on the side table.

"Hey, baby," he says when I walk through the door. "Look, I made it to your bitch sister's wedding after all. Do you think she'll be happy to see me? I wrote a song about her, too, but I don't think she'll like it."

I cover my face with my hands and laugh. "Oh, god. Yeah, Luca, I think she'd love that."

"All of the other songs I've written are about you, angel," he says.

"Don't hurt yourself," I tell Luca when he climbs out of bed.

"You don't tell me what to do. I'll fuck that bossy mouth of yours and teach you that lesson again if I have to," he says. He kisses me on the forehead and then throws me over his shoulder.

"Luca, stop!"

"What'd I tell you?"

Smack.

"Ow!" I shout. "Damn it, Luca!"

"Dude, seriously," Declan says. "You're going to fucking hurt yourself. Put the baby down."

"Fine." He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me into his lap, holding me tightly against his body with my back to his chest. "You look really pretty, baby," he says, kissing my neck. "I missed you so much. You know what I did when we had to leave you in Vegas?"

I shake my head. "No, what?"

"I fucking cried."

"He threw a whole ass tantrum," Declan says. "I should have roofied his ass, too."

"That was rude," I tell him. "Where have you been anyway?"

"Here," Declan says. "In Mexico, waiting for you. We can move more easily here. I was always coming back for you, Teagan. But after everything that happened, the deal was always stay out, stay away, and stay alive."

"But why?" I ask.

"Because if we got caught, they'd have to kill us—just in case. And we're too well-known to risk it."

"Well, what's the plan then?"

"Remember the man from downstairs?"

"Yeah…"

"He's going to find you during the wedding reception tomorrow and bring you to us, and we're going to get on a plane, and it'll take us to Venezuela, and then we'll get on another plane and get the fuck out of here…forever, Teagan."

"And we'll take care of you forever, baby," Luca says.

"You make it sound like it'll be so easy," I say. "It wasn't easy last time."

Just hearing the word "plane" come out of his mouth takes me back to that abandoned airfield and the worst day of my life. My heart rate elevates, my palms begin to sweat…I wring my hands in front of me, hoping to smother the panic attack I'm teetering on the edge of out of existence.

"It'll be easy," Declan assures me. He removes his hat and glasses, setting them on the table beside the television, and then runs his fingers through dark hair much longer than I'm used to seeing, but I guess it's probably easier to hide behind. "I know what I'm doing."

"Breathe, Teagan," Luca says. "You're not breathing, baby."

Declan closes the space between us and covers my hands with his. "What's going on in there, kitten?"

You're going to leave me again. This is a trick.

I can't say that, so I just shake my head.

"I didn't let you jump, Teagan," he says. "Even though it made my dick hard seeing you like that. I won't leave you—I'll die first. I've already lost everything else."

It's crazy to think how different everything was just four months ago—how one decision can alter the course of multiple lives forever. There are so many places where, if we'd just done one thing differently, we wouldn't be here right now. They'd be working on their next album and getting ready for a new tour. I'd be at home in the mountains with River and Hazel, and Brady and Rhett would still be alive.

He pulls his shirt over his head and then kneels in front of me, pressing my hand against the 'T' carved into his chest.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm lying, Teagan," he says.

I shake my head again. "I have a hard time telling the difference between what's real and what isn't."

"We're going to help you with that, too, sweetheart."

"You need to relax, Teag," Luca says, unzipping the back of my dress. "You want one of my pills, baby?"

"Nah, she doesn't need that," Declan says. He stands and then pulls me to my feet. "You know you're okay, don't you, Teagan?"

Declan pushes the straps from my shoulders, and the little black dress falls to the ground, leaving me naked in front of him. He bites his lip as hungry eyes linger on my chest before running down the rest of my body. My cheeks flush when I feel them settle on the 'S' carved into my lower abdomen.

"What's that, Teagan?" he asks.

"I told you," I say quietly. "I have a hard time telling the difference between what's real and what's not."

"It's okay, honey," he says. "You tried. And who wouldn't love you?"

"What'd she do?" Luca asks, stepping around me.

Unlike Declan, his eyes turn angry when he sees it.

"I'm sorry," I tell him, looking down at my feet.

"Don't be mad at her," Declan says. "She didn't do anything wrong."

But he stands there with his jaw clenched. I've seen that look in his eyes before; he's struggling.

"Luca is having a hard time with the third brother thing," Declan says. "You don't own her. She was all alone."

"Because of you. I didn't leave Teagan. And he's not our fucking brother," Luca says to Declan before turning back to me. "It's new . You told me what he did to you. And I did what you told me to, Teagan—I didn't love anyone else. I'll never love anyone else."

"Luca—" Declan starts.

"I should burn it off," he says.

I step backward toward Declan, wrapping my hand around his bicep.

"He's not going to hurt you, Teagan," Declan says. "I'm stronger than him now anyway."

"Luca, I love you."

Luca glares at me and then stalks off toward the balcony, slamming the sliding door hard enough behind him that it opens again.

"He'll be okay," Declan says. He threads his fingers through my hair and brings his mouth to mine. "You're beautiful, Teagan."

I close my eyes and give into his lips, and the kiss that started out slow and sweet quickly shifts to something desperate and filled with need. His mouth moves to my neck as he grips my ass hard in each of his hands and then onto my breasts, licking and sucking a nipple into his mouth.

I unzip his jeans and pull them over his hips, taking his rock-hard cock in my hand.

"Fuck," he groans. "It's been so long since you've touched me, Teagan." He walks me backward until my legs hit the bed. "I need to be inside you, kitten. I can't wait."

He steps out of his jeans before pushing me back flat on the bed with my legs hanging over the side. Then, he runs his hands over my tits and down my body until he reaches my thighs, spreading them wide open.

"Declan…please…"

"Look how perfect you are," he says. "Your pussy is already dripping wet for me."

With one hand wrapped around my ankle, he holds my leg out to the side. He wraps the other hand around his dick, bringing it to my center. I gasp when he rubs the tip over my clit before pushing it inside me, stretching me as his thick cock slips into my soaked pussy.

He groans as he buries himself to the hilt, taking my other ankle in his hand the same way before sliding it out and back into me. "Fuck, that's good," he says. "God, I missed your body, Teagan."

He spreads my legs wider and slams into me, hard and fast, relentlessly drilling into me.

"Declan…" I moan, reaching behind me and fisting the comforter.

"Just relax and take it, baby," he says. "Let me take what's mine."

"Oh, god," I cry out, writhing against him. "Oh, god, that feels so good."

I don't even notice Luca's in the room until the bed dips down beside me. He puts a hand through my hair, gripping it in his fist, and turns my head just slightly toward where he kneels beside me, fisting his long curved cock, jerking it near my face.

"Open up, Teagan," he says. "Stick out that pretty pink tongue like a good girl."

I stick out my tongue, and he thrusts his cock deep into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat. Tears fall from my watery eyes as I gag on the head.

"There you go, Teag," he says, pumping his cock into my mouth while his brother slams into my pussy. "Choke on my dick and let me come in all of your holes while you cry, and I'll forgive you."

"Are you okay, kitten?" Declan asks.

I nod as best I can around Luca's cock.

"She doesn't like breathing that much," Luca says, tightening his grip on my hair. "Do you, Teagan?"

No. Not really. Breathing is overrated. But this is better.

I wrap my hand around the base of Luca's cock as he thrusts into my mouth, and Declan resumes his relentless pace, fucking me so good I forget that I can't breathe. I whimper around Luca's dick as I feel myself unraveling, saliva and tears running down my face as my pussy clenches around him and the spasms from my climax roll through my body.

"Jesus, Teagan," Declan groans. "Fuck, your pussy feels so good when you come on me like that, baby."

"Look at how hard she's shaking," Luca says. He wipes a tear away from under my eye and pushes my hair away from my face. "You're coming so hard on him with my dick down your throat, aren't you? Maybe you can still be my good girl."

"Fuck!" Declan says, slamming into me in short, quick bursts before burying himself deep inside me, gritting his teeth while he throbs inside me, filling me with cum.

When he's finally empty, he lies on the bed beside me and reaches between my legs, coating his fingers in our cum before using them to rub my clit while Luca fucks my mouth. My hips buck off the bed, and I whimper on contact.

"It's okay," Declan says. "Open up, baby. Let me make you feel good again."

I spread my legs wider for him as his expert fingers roll over me, moaning as that spot begins to pulse. My thigh muscles flex, and my toes curl as I writhe against the mattress and his hand.

"I'm going to cum all over you, Teagan," Luca says. "There's going to be a lot of it, baby."

"Look at her legs. I think she's about to come again, too," Declan says. "Aren't you, kitten?"

I moan again, trying to nod while Luca thrusts his cock further down my throat.

Luca grasps my tit in one hand, rolling the nipple between his thumb and first finger while Declan works my clit with his own cum-soaked fingers, applying just the right amount of pressure with his quick movements, and I'm thrown right back over that edge again, my legs shaking almost as hard as before.

"Now that's a sweet sight," Declan says. "Look at her shaking."

"She's a horny little brat, and I'm going to enjoy fucking her back into submission. Keep your mouth open. Oh, fuck, stick out your tongue," Luca rasps, pulling his cock out just as the first burst of cum hits the back of my throat. He strokes it in his hand, finishing on my face, my tits, and my abdomen. I clench my jaw and hiss through my teeth when he takes his fingers and rubs the cum into the scabbed-over 'S' near my hip.

"You don't get to shower tonight, baby," Luca says as he stretches out next to me. "Okay? You let that sink in. You know who loves you."

I nod. "Yeah, I know who loves me," I say softly, trying to catch my breath. "I love you, too."

He places a hand on my cheek and kisses the top of my head. "Good," he says.

"You okay, Teag?" Declan asks, pressing his lips to my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"You want to share a cigarette with me?"

"No," Luca says, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him. "She wants to stay here with me."

Declan props his head up onto his elbow and looks down at me, running his thumb over my nipple. "Do you?"

"Uh-huh."

"Okay, sweetheart," he says.

Declan pulls on a pair of sweatpants and walks toward the balcony.

"Someone will see you."

"You worry too much," he says. "Someone will see a person in the dark on a balcony. No one is going to see me . You just relax and let me worry about stuff like that. You get to rest and be soft now, Teag. Let us take care of you."

He closes the sliding glass door behind him, and I sink further into Luca's chest, wrapping my arms around him.

"Don't be mad at me, Luca."

"I'm not," he says. "I love you, Teagan. But if I ever see him, I'm going to kill him for what he's done to you."

"It's not his fault."

"You mean it's my fault."

"No, I—"

"But it is, though. All of this is my fault."

"It's not," I tell him. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have told you about all of that. I shouldn't have put that on you, but you're my best friend, and I—"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm a killer," I tell him. "He didn't do that. I was born like this."

"Just because you can do something doesn't mean you have to, Teag. It doesn't mean you should. He made you think that you had to and that you didn't have a place, and you do—you always did. I'll kill him, Teagan."

"He's your brother."

"He is not my brother," Luca snaps. "He's not my family; he's not even a person— you said that. You're my family. He fucked with your head…he hurt you. He's fucking with Declan's head, too."

"I don't want to talk about him anymore, Luca, okay? It doesn't feel good."

"It's okay, angel," he says, kissing my forehead. "We'll get you better, and then you'll let me burn it or cut it off of you. You said I could do whatever I wanted to you, remember?"

"Yeah, I did, but—"

"You'll thank me, baby. I'm going to make it all better, okay?"

"Okay, Luca." I swing my leg over him and squeeze him tighter. Because that's what we do.

I won't argue. I know this side of him, and I'm sure finding out you have another brother your family kept a secret from you can't be anything less than complicated. And when he left me against his will, I loved Sebastian, and he's not Declan or River or Hazel or Rhett—he's not family…not in the ways that matter to Luca. It's different.

The rules don't always matter where love is concerned. I learned that, too.

And if that's what he needs, maybe I will let him. Later…when it doesn't hurt so much. When it's not still fresh.

"We've got a place picked out, Teag. I think you're going to like it. It's not the Mediterranean, but there's a beach, and it's pretty…like you," he says, running his fingers through my hair. "Hazel and Riv will like it, too. You'll be happy, baby."

He kisses my forehead and closes his eyes.

"I'm already happy," I tell him, brushing his hair away from his face.

"I'm going to get you guys paddleboards," he says. "And a life jacket for Riv because she can't swim."

"Luca, they're gone," I say. "I told you that."

But he's already asleep.

I kiss his lips and crawl out from under his arm. Declan is still out on the balcony, smoke billowing from his silhouette.

I grab Declan's shirt from the floor and pull it over my head, then head to the bathroom. There's a small lamp still on beside the television that I flip off as I pass. I wash my face and brush my teeth, but, as instructed, I don't shower. When I come out, Declan is lying across the other side of the bed.

"Teagan, I need to tell you something about Luca," he says quietly.

"Okay," I say, lying between the two of them. "What is it?"

"It's not that bad but…he's having a hard time with the pain pills. I want you to be aware of it because I'm going to need your help with that when we get out of here," he says. "He was taking too much, and I finally got him to cut back a bit but since we've been here, he's been taking too many again. He says he's been doing too much, but I don't think he's really in that much pain. I think he's just…trying to numb everything else, you know?"

I nod. "Yeah, I know."

"He feels really guilty—about everything. About Rhett and Brady…leaving you. He misses music. He missed you a lot, too, baby."

I pull Luca's arm over my body and lace my fingers between his, kissing the top of his hand and then the other. I've missed them. His hands used to wash my hair and hold me at night, and carried me a few times when I couldn't carry myself. They're the ones I used to imagine running through my hair in the mornings when he was gone, and I couldn't get out of bed.

They're the ones that held me when I cried and wrote me a sad song.

"I missed him, too." I hope I can help him, too.

"He'll be okay, Teag," Declan says. "You will, too. I love you."

"I love you, too."

He leans in and kisses me again, running his hand up my thigh and hitching my leg around his waist while his lips slowly engulf mine. It feels so good—kissing him slowly like this, toying with his lips between my teeth. I push a hand through his hair and bring him closer, kissing him deeper.

We pull apart when a fist pounds against the hotel door three times.

I gasp, and Declan presses a finger to my lips. "It's okay, kitten. It'll just be Travis—I told him to knock three times like that," he says.

But he's whispering. And he'd only be knocking if there was a problem.

"Don't open it," I whisper, grabbing his arm. "I'm scared."

"Just be quiet, okay?"

As he climbs out of bed and moves toward the door, I grab my knife from the nightstand and shake Luca awake. "Luca, wake up! Someone is here!"

"What?" he asks. Then, he hears the knocks on the door for himself. "Oh, shit."

He climbs out of bed and pulls on his boxers just as Declan reaches the door. "I told you it was just Travis," he says, looking through the peephole. "He's standing too fucking close to the door, though. Giant fucking moron."

But when he opens the door, a man in a gold mask tosses something at Declan and pushes his way into the room.

It was the giant fucking moron's severed head, and it rolls across the floor until it stops a few inches away from my feet.