14. FOURTEEN

FOURTEEN

I follow Declan back into the hotel and down the hall to a suite on one of the upper floors. He opens the door for me, and, holding my breath, I step inside the dark room, illuminated only by the light of the television. Luca sits on the edge of the bed watching international soccer, eating nachos from a room service tray.

His hair is pulled back, and he has a beard now. He looks like he's lost some of his muscle, too. His clothes fit much looser than they did before.

"Did you see her?" he asks, still looking at the television.

My eyes fill with tears just hearing his voice. I open my mouth, but no words come out.

It's been so long. Will he even still want me? What if he changed his mind?

"Maybe you can talk some sense into her," Declan says. "I'll be back later."

His head whips in my direction just as the door closes behind Declan.

"My angel," Luca says. He sets the nachos on the table beside the television and leans over, picking something up from the ground on the side of the bed before pulling himself onto his feet.

It's a cane. He shifts his weight onto it as he slowly makes his way across the room to me, his right foot barely lifting from the floor.

"Luca, you…" My lower lip begins shaking. I bite it down and choke on a sob.

"Hey, it's okay, baby," Luca says. "Don't cry; I'm all right."

I rush toward him, closing the space between us, and throw my arms around his waist, inhaling deeply.

"God, I missed you, baby," he says, kissing the top of my head. "I love you so fucking much. Do you still love me, Teag?"

"Yes," I cry into his chest. "Yes, I love you. I love you so much. I didn't think…I thought you were dead. And then, I thought you'd never come back for me."

"I'm so sorry, Teagan," he says, running his fingers through my hair. "I'm so fucking sorry, baby. That's all I worried about—all the time—that you'd think I was either dead or didn't want you."

"He left us."

"I know," he says. "I know what happened to you and Riv and Hazel; Brady and Rhett, too. I know, honey."

"I was alone."

"You're not alone now," Luca says. "You weren't alone then, either. I just couldn't get to you, Teag—that's all. Hey, let me look at you. Let me see your face."

I take a small step backward, wiping the tears from under my eyes before I meet his.

"There's my girl," he says, placing a hand on my cheek. "My pretty, perfect angel. Hi, baby." He traces the lace neckline of my top with his fingertips. "I remember this one. You should have known you'd put that on and end up in front of me."

"I found one of your hoodies in my bag the other day. I wore it for two days straight even though it was one hundred degrees outside, and Bone Saw spilled coffee on it on purpose."

"Bone Saw?"

"The masked asshole stalking me," I tell him. "But Luca…it's been so hard for me. You're the only person…you're the only person in the world who cares about me."

"Teagan, that's not true, honey. Hey, can we sit down? My leg is kind of—"

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay, baby. I'm okay."

But he stumbles a little when he sits back down on the bed, using his arm to brace himself first before turning over and moving so that his back is against the headboard and his legs are out straight in front of him.

"I have some nerve damage," he says. "I had to stay in bed for a fucking month. It sucked ass."

"I bet you were pissed," I laugh.

"I was pissed. I was mad at him, too, Teag…for leaving you like that. And then they put you girls in jail. I bet you were so scared."

"Are you real?" I ask. "Like are you sure you're really real? Because…sometimes I see you like this, and we talk just like this, but you aren't really there. I think I'm going crazy, and I've done things, Luca. Really fucking bad things, and I don't think you'd like it."

"Come over here, Teagan," he says, patting the spot beside him. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

He shakes his head. "It doesn't hurt, baby. It's more like…pins and needles sometimes. I barely notice it unless I've been on my feet for a while. And my dick works just fine, too, so don't worry about that. Get over here."

I slip off my boots before climbing further onto the bed and into his arms, and he leans in, kissing me softly on the lips. "See? That's much better, isn't it?"

"Luca…"

"I'm real, Teagan. We're alive and we're together, and I don't care about anything you did. I love you. I mean it. I would have told you every day if I could, and then maybe you wouldn't feel like this. Maybe your eyes wouldn't look like this."

But his are the same—beautiful, emerald green. Maybe a little sad, but still full of life like he wants me to be.

"This feels real, doesn't it?" he asks, cupping my face in his hands. "You know this— we —are different, baby."

I nod before leaning in, burying my head in his neck, smelling his skin. When he wasn't real, I couldn't smell him. And maybe I could feel him—the warmth of a body next to mine, fingers in my hair—but it didn't feel like this.

"I'm scared," I whisper.

"What are you scared of? Huh?" He pulls me into his lap so that I'm facing him, my legs wrapped around his waist. I lose my breath when I feel him hard against me. "You feel so good in my arms, honey. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"What if I lose you again? I don't think I can survive it twice."

"I would never, ever leave you, Teagan. I've never lied to you before, have I? I'd make it so that you never hurt again if I could. I'd take it all away."

I shake my head. "No, you haven't."

But Declan has…more than once. And he's done things to me that he wanted to hurt.

"Don't be scared," Luca says, unlacing my top and letting it fall to the sides, leaving my chest bare and exposed in front of him. He leans in, trailing kisses down my neck, taking my breast in his hand, and then sucking the nipple into his mouth.

"Luca…" I moan, pushing my hands through his hair and rocking my hips against him while he teases the hard point with his tongue.

"I told you, baby—I'll love you until my heart stops. And it turns out I'm not that easy to kill."

I reach for the bottom of his shirt and pull it over his head. My eyes settle on the 'T' etched into his tattooed chest and then the scar from the bullet hole in his shoulder. I run my fingers over it before my eyes drop to his abdomen, where there are two more exit wounds and what's likely a surgical scar.

"Not very attractive—I know," he says. "My tattoos are fucked. I can put my shirt back on if it bothers you."

I place my hands on either side of his face. "It doesn't bother me…not like you think anyway. I just hate to think of you in pain. I wish I could have been there with you."

"It's okay, baby," he says. "You kept me going whether you knew it or not. You're the only person in the world who loves me, too, Teagan. You've put me back together more than once; I'll put you back together, too."

I smile a little, shaking my head while I blink back more tears.

"What?" Luca asks. "What'd I do now?"

"Nothing," I tell him. "It's just that…the fake version of you told me almost the exact same thing once."

"You know me," he says. "I know you, too."

Luca runs his hand over my chest and then around to the nape of my neck, bringing my mouth to his. I breathe him in as his lips engulf mine, parting my lips when his tongue begs for entrance. As his tongue twists with my own, both hands run down my back until he grips my hips, holding my body against his as he grinds the hard ridge of his dick into my pussy.

He pushes my skirt up around my waist and then slips his hand inside my thong, running his fingers through my smooth wetness before pushing them deep inside me, the palm of his hand rubbing against my clit as he moves them in and out. I gasp, digging my nails into his shoulders as my body shudders.

"Teagan," he rasps, pulling his wet fingers out of me. "I need to be inside you, baby. Take this off; I want to see all of you."

He takes off his shorts as I climb off the bed and remove the rest of my clothes, sliding my skirt and thong down to my ankles and kicking them off. When I look up, he's watching me with hungry eyes, pumping the massive length of his cock in his hand, a bead of cum leaking from the tip.

And I want it. I want to taste it on my tongue. I climb onto the bed and kneel between his legs.

"Beautiful," he says. "You're fucking perfect."

I take over, stroking the length of him before lowering my head, licking the cum from the tip before closing my lips around the head, sucking while taking as much of his perfect cock as I can into my mouth, watching his head fall back when I do.

"Oh, fuck," he moans. His thigh muscles flex, and he threads his fingers through my hair while I lick and suck him. Just tasting him and watching him has the inside of my thighs soaked. "Fuck, Teagan."

He thrusts up into me, and I gag a little before adjusting, looking up at him again with watery eyes. "That's my girl," he says, watching me take him deep into my throat before licking him all the way to the tip. He lifts me by my hair and it falls away from my mouth.

"I need your pussy, baby," he says. "Come here."

I climb back into his lap, hovering over him while he positions the head of his cock at my opening, and then slowly sink down onto him, until he's buried to the hilt.

"Oh, fuck…" I cry out, gritting my teeth. A shiver runs up my spine before I roll my hips over him.

"That's it," he says, running his hands over my tits before moving down to my hips, gripping me tightly while he moves flat onto his back, forcing himself deeper inside me, eliciting a gasp. "Ride me, baby. Make yourself come on my dick."

"You're so big," I tell him, breathless.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" he says, thrusting up into me. "Does that feel good, baby? You're dripping all over me."

"Yes…" I moan, rolling my hips over him.

"That's my good girl," he says. He spreads his legs wider and reaches for me, placing his middle finger on my clit. "Your tight little pussy feels so fucking good, Teagan. Keep riding it, baby."

I work my pussy up and down the length of him, slowly at first while I adjust to his size, but that curve at the tip—it hits just right, just like I remember, and it isn't long before I'm riding him hard, bracing myself with two hands on his chest.

"Luca…" I whimper.

"Go ahead, baby," he groans, pushing up into me and rubbing my clit faster. "Come all over me. I can feel your legs shaking; I know you want to."

My mouth falls open and I lean forward, arching my back and rocking my hips over him until I can't take it anymore, and I explode, crying out as I come hard around his dick.

"Oh, fuck! Oh my god!"

"There you go," he says. He pulls me into him and pumps his cock into me, fucking me through my orgasm. "That's my girl."

"Luca!"

When I start to come down, he flips me over, moving on top of me with his dick still buried inside of me.

Shifting his weight onto one arm, he trails a finger down my neck and over my nipple before circling the bruise near my hip from when Sebastian bit me. "You're covered in cuts and bruises," he says, pumping his dick into me. "Will you be mad at me if I add a couple more?"

"No," I tell him. "You can do whatever you want to me. I love you."

He lowers his body onto mine, kissing my mouth before reaching for something on the bedside table. "I love you, too," he says, pointing the tip of the blade at my chest, just to the right of the 'L' shaped scar. "Don't be scared, okay? I love you so much. You should hold on to something."

I grab the side of the headboard with one hand and the blanket with the other, and he digs the knife into my skin. He thrusts into me slowly, just enough to take the edge off, while he makes six separate small cuts in my chest. I grit my teeth, squirming against his cock.

"You're going to ruin this work of art if you keep that up," Luca says, finishing the final cut. I can't tell what it is; when I look down, all I see is dark red blood pooling on my chest. He thrusts into me again, licking and sucking the area clean while moving inside of me. I let my legs fall open to the sides with my knees bent, closing my eyes and savoring every sensation—the pain in my chest, his mouth on my wounds, the scent of him, the waves of pleasure washing over me each time he slides his cock in and out of my pussy.

When he lifts his mouth, my blood is all over his face and in his beard. The sight of it is both insanely erotic and deeply comforting. It reminds me that there's still exactly one place in the world where I can exist besides prison or as a nameless, faceless killer.

And it's with him.

He switches positions, lifting my legs by my calves and holding them out to the side while he fucks into me hard and fast.

"Fuck, that feels good," I whimper. I reach behind me and place my palms flat against the headboard, using it to push my body back against him and give him better access.

"You look fucking perfect like this," he groans. The headboard slams hard against the wall with each relentless thrust of his hips. "Fuck, I missed you. I'm going to fill you with so much cum—it'll be dripping out of you all day tomorrow."

His words pull a moan from the back of my throat. "I want it," I tell him. "I want it all."

He pumps into me again and again before he stiffens, grunting while he empties himself inside of me. I take one of my hands from the headboard and move it onto my clit, circling it with my fingers and sending myself over the edge again with his rigid cock twitching inside of me.

"Fuck…" he grunts. I writhe beneath him as we come together. Luca groans as I squeeze the last of his cum from his pulsing cock before collapsing on top of me. "God, that was good."

"Yeah, it was…" I agree, breathless. "So good."

"I think you broke me, baby. I can't feel my legs at all now. I'll probably never walk again."

"What!?"

He rolls off to the side, props himself onto his elbow, and smiles. "I'm just kidding, Teag. Relax."

He leans in and kisses me on the lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and stay like that for minutes, kissing him softly, toying with his lips with my teeth, until finally—painfully—I pull away.

"Luca, where were you?" I ask.

He wraps his arms around my back and pulls me tight against him. "Mmm…Belarus, mostly. Did you hear your song?"

I nod. "I did. I was driving, and I pulled over on the interstate and cried in the ditch."

"Aww, Teag. It was supposed to make you happy. I wanted you to know I was alive."

"It's not that it made me unhappy, I was just…overwhelmed…and scared. A lot had happened and…I didn't know what to think."

We end up talking for hours. He tells me about his recovery, and how mad he was when he found out Declan left me and I was in jail. He says that he thought he'd never walk again, and he spent that first month alone in a dark room. They had one Russian television station and weren't able to use phones.

I tell him everything about when the police took me, about being in the hospital, being alone, and going through cult deprogramming therapy. And then about how stupid I was—that I let the bloodsluts online convince me they were doing a secret concert and about what happened afterward. I tell him about Bone Saw, and that he made me help them kill a couple of people from The Order in exchange for letting River and Hazel get away. I tell him how he's hurt me, but I leave out that I'm still sleeping with him, even though I know he can tell. He doesn't ask any questions, though; in typical Luca fashion, he just pulls me in closer, kissing the top of my head.

"People are either disgusted by me or they want me to be their savior, and I can't even save myself. I can barely leave my house; it's insane. At the restaurant earlier, one of them sent me a drink with their blood in it with a note that said for our queen . My sister was fucking pissed."

"I bet she was. Did you drink it?"

"Well…yeah." He smiles, shaking his head. "Oh, and they have fucking churches now," I tell him, "based on Declan's supposed teachings. Have you heard about those?"

He laughs. "Yeah, I saw that."

"I bet Declan fucking loves that shit," I scoff.

"He does," Luca says. "But you know what he loves more than any of that?"

I look away, shaking my head. He places his palm on the side of my face, bringing my gaze back to him. "You."

"No. He left me."

"It's true, angel. He loves you so much. I was angry, too—I was. But…I get it now. He was just trying to keep you safe."

"I wasn't safe," I tell him. "Not by a long shot."

"Teagan—"

"No! He hurt me, and he hurt River and Hazel, too, and now they're gone, and I'll never see them again."

"Okay…I'm sorry. I know you're hurt; I won't talk about him anymore if you don't want to."

"I don't."

"There's a big jacuzzi tub in the bathroom," Luca says. "You want to get in it with me? I'll clean up your cuts, wash your hair for you…"

"I'd go anywhere with you, Luca."

"I'm not the same, Teagan," he says. "I feel like I should warn you."

"I'm not, either."

He runs a finger through the blood on my chest and brings it to his lips.

"What is it?" I ask.

"You can't tell?"

I shake my head. "Too bloody, not an easy angle."

"It's a heart," he says. "I put your heart back in your chest, baby."

I smile. "I love it."

"I don't think it's deep enough to scar."

"Too bad. Maybe next time."

"You're so fucking perfect, Teag," he says. And I know he means it—his green eyes look all the way through me in that way that hits me right in the fucking chest. "Come on."

"I'll help you," I tell him, climbing out of the bed. "I'll be your crutch. I'll wash your hair, too."

It's almost four in the morning when Declan returns to the room. I lie in the dark under the blankets with Luca, wearing one of his t-shirts, wrapped up in his arms and clinging to him for dear life. Luca sleeps deeply beside me, his breath hot against the back of my neck.

But me? I don't even want to close my eyes.

"You're awake," Declan says. He sits on the edge of the bed and slips off his shoes. "Why?"

"I'm afraid to go to sleep," I tell him. "I'm afraid he'll disappear. I have abandonment issues now, you know."

"Teagan, I'm sorry," he says. "It was never supposed to be like that."

"I don't believe you."

"Come here," he says. "Let's go talk in the kitchen. You don't want to wake him up, do you? He's still healing. He really isn't well enough to be traveling—he can barely walk—but he wouldn't let me come alone."

I hesitate, torn between the warmth and comfort of the person I love at my back and not wanting to wake him.

"He doesn't like to sleep alone," I say.

"No, but he got used to it," Declan says. "Come on, let's go."

I don't take the hand he extends to me. Climbing out of bed is painful, but I follow Declan to the kitchen in the back of the suite. The countertops are missing and there's a tarp covering the floor with paint cans and brushes left out. The blinds on the back windows have been left open, and enough light comes in that there's no need to turn one on. Declan sits on one of the barstools while I lean against the wall, folding my arms in front of my chest.

"You don't want to sit by me? I don't bite."

"No, but you lie. I'm not worried about biting," I tell him.

"I sent you flowers—tulips like the ones we saw in Portland. Did you get them?"

"No. I mean…I guess. I didn't know they were from you."

"How could you not?"

I scoff. "You left me with nothing. Why would I?"

"You look really pretty," he says.

"I look like shit, Declan."

"Not to me," he says. "You're still the only thing I want to look at in an otherwise beige world, whether you believe it or not. Teagan, I never thought it was going to be like that. When I left you, I thought it would be something they'd clean up and everything would go back to normal. I thought we'd be touring again in the fall. And you three were supposed to stay together; you weren't supposed to be alone."

"Yeah, but I was alone! And River and Hazel were in jail for months waiting for you to help them and you didn't. We were supposed to be a family—you said you'd take care of us."

"I couldn't! You don't think I wanted to? The feds would have found the paper trail, and they would have punished both of them for it. And they will kill me before they'll let the FBI catch me."

"They? You mean The Order?"

"Yeah," he says shaking his head. "What have you been up to, Teagan?"

I shrug. "I've done what I had to do to survive because of the mess you left me in."

"Have you seen them? River and Hazel?"

I nod. "Once."

"How were they?"

I scoff. "Are you kidding? Awful. They were terrified, and for good reason. They had to change their appearances, they were afraid someone was trying to kill them, and they couldn't get jobs or anything, either. You have all the money in the world, and they were worried about running out of food." I pause, swallowing hard. "River was sad, and Hazel was angry."

"Do you think Hazel meant those things she said about me on TV?"

"I know she did," I tell him. "She hates you."

It's quiet for a minute before he asks, "Teagan, where are they? I can't find them anymore."

"They're gone now…for good. They got new identities and left a few days ago. I don't know where they went."

"It makes me sick," he says. "It makes me physically fucking sick that she could think of me like that—that she's going to think of me like that for the rest of her life. God fucking damn it."

"Well, what did you expect to happen? You chose yourself."

"I told you, Teagan—I didn't fucking know. I was fucking naive because everything has always been easy for me, and I didn't fucking know. Okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

"That's not good enough!"

"Well, what do you want?" he shouts. He pushes off the chair hard enough that it topples over behind him and moves toward me, stopping just a few inches in front of me. In the past, it would have scared me to see him like this, but not anymore. "I've said it before, and I'll tell you a thousand times over. You can have anything you want from me. Just tell me what it is. What will it take to convince you that I love you, Teagan? Huh? That I'm sorry, and I know I fucked up. Do you want to cut my heart out, Teagan? Because the way you're looking at me right now…you might as well. It's fucking killing me."

"You don't get it…"

"Trust me, Teagan, I get it—"

"No, you don't! You don't get it! Declan…" I pause, shaking my head, tears pooling in my eyes again. "You were my port in the storm. And there was a storm, and I was all alone! You don't know how bad it was for me."

"But Teagan, you made it. Because you're strong and resilient—"

"Declan, I'm not. I'm not strong, and I'm tired of trying. I'm exhausted by resilience. I don't want to do it anymore. I want rest. I want comfort; I want to be soft. I want a vacation, and I want someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay and that they'll take care of me."

"Well, I'm here now," he says. He drops to his knees in front of me, wrapping his arms around my legs, and rests his head against my body. "I'm sorry, Teagan."

He kisses the front of my bare thighs, sliding his hands up my legs and pushing them apart.

"Declan…"

"What's wrong?" he asks. "I love you. I miss holding you and touching you; I miss the way you taste. You said you want to be soft—be my soft little kitten. You want someone to take care of you? Let me."

He spreads my pussy lips with his fingers and kisses me…slowly, deeply, and sensually. He kisses my slit the way you'd kiss the mouth of a lover, running his tongue over every inch of my slickness, tasting it and dipping his tongue inside me.

I relax a little, opening my legs more for him.

"You taste so good, sweetheart." He pushes two fingers inside of me. "If you like me better like this—on my knees—I'll happily worship you right here, just like this, every fucking day."

He dives back in, running his tongue over my clit while pumping his fingers inside me. I arch my back against that wall, giving him better access, and the increased pressure makes me cry out.

"Declan! Oh my god…"

I grip his hair in my hand and the handle on the refrigerator door with the other, rocking my hips against his tongue while waves of pleasure build, sending me closer to the edge.

I did miss his tongue. I do like him better on his knees like this. At least he's not talking—if he's not talking, he can't lie.

"Oh, fuck…" I moan. "I'm still mad at you."

"I know," he says, lifting one of my legs over his shoulder. Dark eyes look up at me, his mouth covered in my own wetness, and I bite my lip to stop myself from begging him to sink his massive cock into me. "That doesn't mean you can't come for me."

He closes his mouth around my clit, flicking it with his tongue while he pumps his fingers in and out of me. I tighten my grip on his hair and come hard, whimpering his name as my clit pulses on his expert tongue.

And he moans, slowly licking me through it—through the orgasm, through the aftershocks—until it's too much because I'm far too sensitive and squirming against his tongue.

"I'm going to get every last drop, kitten," he says, running his tongue over me and inside me again. "Hold on tight."

When he's finally finished and pulls away, I slide down the wall and sit on the floor. He moves next to me and reaches for me, attempting to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me into him, and I shrug him off.

"Declan, no. I…I killed people. I killed four…no, five…I killed five people. I don't even care."

"Teagan…"

"You were supposed to take care of me. You were going to help me—you promised. I'd be in jail or dead by now if it wasn't for Sebastian."

"Sebastian?"

"Bone Saw? The masked asshole you called on the phone?"

"…He told you his name?"

"Yeah, he did."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess because he wants me to join the faceless murderer club?"

"Teagan…" His eyes harden. "Explain. Now."

I tell him about the murders, and about the deal I made to help them in exchange for them letting River and Hazel get away. And about how I can't control it anymore, and that it started with a game I played when I was in the hospital—when I'd get upset and imagine all the ways I could kill someone with only the things in the room, and it would calm me, picturing them dead and bloody.

But then I got out, and it wasn't a game anymore. I couldn't stop, and Sebastian said The Order could give me what I needed. If I obeyed them and I was loyal, they'd take care of me, and they'd hide me. I'd have a place and a purpose, and that was something that I could never have in the real world, where jail was my best-case scenario.

"This is my punishment," Declan says, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"They can't kill me, so they're going to take you from me. They're taking my family—all of my girls. And even worse, you're all choosing it. You're leaving me. You told them yes? You said you'd go?"

I nod. "After the wedding next weekend. I said I needed closure, and I wanted to say goodbye, but then, I'd go."

He's quiet for a minute, and I watch the wheels turning in his head, waiting. Then, he pulls himself off the floor and makes his way over to the refrigerator, pulling it open. "You want some water?"

"Sure," I say, shrugging. He pulls a water bottle from the fridge, removes the cap, and hands it to me.

"Has he been good to you?" he asks as I take a drink.

"Luca? Of course."

"No."

"Oh…you mean Sebastian?" It occurs to me that I probably shouldn't have told Declan his name; I hope it doesn't get him in trouble. "No," I tell him. "No, he's not good to me. He's…cruel, and he's hurt me. He hurts my feelings. He…" I pause, shrugging. "He doesn't consider himself to be human, but he's disturbingly good at acting like one, and he claims to care about me. He reminds me of you."

"But I sent you tulips, and you thought they were from him. That was us , Teag."

I shrug, taking another drink from the bottle…but something is wrong.

"Are you in love with him, Teagan?"

I scoff. "No. No, I don't even like him."

"You're lying to me, baby," he says, kneeling in front of me. "But it's okay…I don't blame you. Listen to me closely, Teagan, because this is important: You can't tell him that you saw us. You can't tell him that we were here. You need to act like everything is normal, go to the wedding, and under no circumstances let them take you anywhere. Do you understand?"

"Wait, but…why would I need to do that?" I ask, slurring my words. "You're not…you're leaving me? Again?"

I try to stand, but find my legs unstable beneath me. Declan wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him.

"Easy, sweetheart," he says, picking me up from the ground and into his arms. He carries me through the kitchen and living area and back to the bedroom, laying me down next to Luca who, instinctively and without waking, wraps his arms around me.

Declan climbs onto the other side of the bed and moves in close to me, brushing my curls away from my face and kissing my lips.

"I'll never leave you, Teagan," he says. "But I need you to be strong for just a little bit longer, kitten, okay? It's just…we can't move well here. Getting this far was next to impossible, and if we take you out of the hotel you're supposed to be in, they'll know it was us. I know you still don't trust me; I know you're angry with me, but I meant it when I said I'd never let you go. When the time comes, I'll drag you away kicking and screaming if I have to, but I'd like it a lot better if you'd curl up in my lap."

It must have been the water. I can't move, I can't fight—all I can do is lie there. I blink, sending a silent tear rolling down my cheek, and he kisses it away.

"You're so beautiful," he says, smiling. "This is real; don't forget it. You're not alone—you're falling asleep next to two people who love you. You're completely safe. And Teagan, I do. I love you so fucking much."

My eyes grow far too heavy, and I allow them to close.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, kissing my forehead. "I'm sorry that you were right to be afraid to close your eyes. I love you, Teagan."