26. Ready to Eat

26

READY TO EAT

ME REHUSO, DANNY OCEAN

Manny

It’s so hot, is my first thought when I open my eyes to the ray of sunshine on my face. We were too busy last night to close the curtains and the morning sun is heating the room. I can smell Cara’s shampoo or whatever it is that she uses that makes her smell like a lemon vanilla scone. I’ve ordered a lemon scone in each store we go to this whole trip trying to find the exact combination that reminds me of her. They all come close, but none of them are the exact thing. I want to recreate that scent. Bottle it up and bathe in it.

When I look down, I see her soft waves on top of my chest. Her head is tucked under my arm, with her hair covering her face. I gently lift her hair and when I see her peacefully sleeping, I can’t help but to smile to myself. Cara’s arm rests around my torso, her legs intertwined with mine in what feels like a pretzel, but she is sound asleep. Eyebrows relaxed and lips slightly parted as her even breaths go in and out. No wonder I’m so hot. There’s so much body heat between her naked body and mine, but I wouldn’t change one bit of it. I wouldn’t change a second of last night. Maybe I would have changed not kissing her sooner but then again, maybe it was the right time to do it. Now I just have to figure out how to get her to keep kissing me at least for the rest of this trip because now that I know what it could be like, what it could feel like, I don’t want to give it up.

I see her bracelets as I trace her arm softly with my fingers and all I can think is about how I want to make more ‘moments’ with her. I want her to wear them all like bracelets in her arm. I want them branded in her brain to the point when she looks back on this trip it brings her nothing but good memories and maybe, just maybe, she’ll keep me around for longer.

I feel her shift softly in my arms, as she scrunches her nose and wraps her arm around me tighter. She has small goosebumps down her back, so I gently move to grab the blanket and pull it over her. I’m not sure how she can be cold right now but she clearly is and I want her to be comfortable. Time moves both slowly and too fast with her in my arms. So slow that I’ve noticed which eyelashes kiss her cheeks and which ones curve up.

She has three freckles on her right cheek, so light you can barely see them, adding to the other twelve I’ve noticed before, but they are there, outlining what would be a heart if I traced lines through them. The girl who wears her heart on her sleeve also has little hidden hearts on her body.

And her body, I notice how every curve molds with mine seamlessly. How her thick thighs are like pillows around mine, making me feel like I’m surrounded by a cloud. And when I trace them with my fingertips, I can feel light stretch marks showing me how her body has changed through the years. The body of a woman under my hands. The body of a Goddess. She tastes like heaven and she feels like it too. Time passes too fast because when she moves again she tenses, realizing how she’s tangled with me. Now, the sun that was on my face before, is nowhere to be felt.

“Good morning, sunshine,” I whisper against her forehead, squeezing her shoulder.

“Hi,” she replies, her voice sleepy. Unwrapping her body from mine and leaving me feeling hollow and cold as soon as she does. Her eyes snap to mine and I can see a flash of the one thing I hoped she wasn’t feeling: regret.

“How did you sleep?” I raise my hand to her hair and tuck it behind her ear. Finding any and every excuse I can to touch her.

“Great, I guess. I don’t think I moved even once, and this is the first time in my life I’ve slept naked without feeling uncomfortable. So, ten out of ten?” she adds, smiling and turning on her back to face the ceiling.

“Talk to me, Cara,” I urge, my voice a gentle but firm plea. I can see the tension in her shoulders, the way her hands grab the sheets tights. Her words may not be saying what she’s feeling but her body betrays her.

“Do we have to?” She brings a pillow to her face that I immediately remove.

“Are you going to freak out if we don’t?” I counter, watching her eyes flicker with uncertainty as she looks at me.

“I feel like I’ll spiral regardless, but mostly because I don’t want you to think that this has to be like a relationship or whatever,” she says and I knew it. I knew she was going to try to complicate things more. What I didn’t know was that she was going to say that this is not a relationship.

“We already have a relationship, Cara. We’re friends. We’re friends who are attracted to each other, and clearly have fucking chemistry too, you can’t deny that.” I know I’m not relationship material for her. I know that I’m only good for a while even though I would give what I don’t have to be just what she needs—to be someone who she may want to spend her life with. However, that’s not who I am and what I’m really good at is making her feel good, and I’m happy to oblige.

“That’s not what I meant,” she adds, sitting up and pulling the sheets around her, covering her body from me. I can feel the wall she’s trying to put up between us, marking her boundaries. “What I mean is, I know that you don’t do relationships and maybe we just got carried away—so we can put it behind us.”

“Or,” I say, earning me a quick snap of her head back to look at me. “Or we can keep having fun for the days we have left on this trip. We can draw all the boundaries you want, but didn’t you have fun last night? I sure did.”

“Last night was… something,” she says, blushing instantly and looking down. I didn’t think Cara had a shy bone in her body but on this trip, I’ve seen more and more that she uses her wittiness and extroverted personality to mask what she truly feels. But by some miracle, she lets me see pieces of her that I haven’t seen before and all I want to do is treasure her and show her that it’s okay to let others see when she’s not okay.

I place my finger under her chin and lift her face up to look me in the eyes. “Last night was what?”

“Perfect.” Her eyes flutter open, revealing a sparkle of wonder. “I didn’t realize I could feel so much. I didn’t realize I could feel so good. You made me feel alive in a way I’ve never felt before. It was incredible, Manny, truly. But don’t get it twisted—I’m not planning on holding on to you like some kind of lifeline.”

I chuckle, a playful smirk tugging at my lips. “So, you’re not ready to walk down the aisle just yet? Here I was thinking you’d be tossing me aside now that you’ve had your fill.”

A flicker of amusement tugs at her lips before she shakes her head. “You’re insufferable. ”

“And you secretly love it,” I tease. “Look, let’s not overthink this. We still have time on this trip, and we’re both adults. We both liked what happened, so why not just enjoy it?”

“I don’t want things to get awkward,” she says, her gaze shifting uneasily.

“Then let’s keep it from getting awkward,” I counter.

She hesitates, her eyes darting between mine as if searching for the right answer. Finally, she speaks, her tone firmer. “Then we need some ground rules.”

“A contract?” I suggest, raising an eyebrow.

“Stop mocking me, Manuel,” Cara snaps, crossing her arms and blowing a strand of hair out of her face with a frustrated puff. “I’m serious. We need clear boundaries.”

“I’m not mocking you, I mean it. I already did something once on this trip you didn’t like and I’m never doing that again. I need approval of everything from now on. A verbal contract. I’ll go first,” I say, putting a pillow over my dick because seeing her this flustered, in the morning light, wrapped in nothing but the bedsheets has me harder than should be necessary. “Kissing allowed.”

“Oh my gosh, Manny. I’m serious,” she exclaims, her frustration bubbling just beneath the surface.

“Then you make the rules, Cara,” I reply, trying to keep my tone light, even as I sense how important this moment is.

“Don’t ‘Cara’ me,” she snaps back, her sass cutting through the tension like a knife. It’s a familiar dance, one we’ve done many times before.

“Okay, go ahead. Tell me your rules,” I say, softening my voice. There’s a hint of a smile playing at the corners of my lips, but I’m fully aware that I’m inviting her to share the boundaries she desperately needs to set.

“We don’t tell anyone. The last thing I need is for people to call me a cougar or something.” Her tone shows how serious she is about this, leaving me with nothing to do but laugh. She narrows her eyes at me and I shake my head.

“Two years, Cara. You’re two years older than me, not ten but sure, done,” I add. Not that I kiss and tell but I also don’t have many people that I actually talk to. Sadly, I’m only close to my siblings.

“Number two, no sleeping with other people.”

“You think if my dick is inside of you, I would be able to have it inside of someone else? Also, there is no one else. Next,” I laugh. Does she think I’d be able to think about anyone else for the rest of my life after I know what she feels under my touch?

“It stops when the road trip ends,” she adds and even though I knew she would, it still shocks me. It hits me right in the heart.

I want to be done with this conversation as soon as possible. I want to understand her boundaries, but I also don’t want to talk about all the things I can’t do. I want to talk about all the things I can and will do with her, to her, around her.

“What about the things we can do? All these cant’s are leaving me thinking you don’t want to do anything at all.

Cara turns her body to me, the sheets showing every curve of her body under it when she says, “You can touch me all you want.” She smiles at me as she traces her body with her hands taunting me.

“Agree, you can touch me too,” I say.

“You can kiss me all you want and you can fuck me all you want to.” Her cheeks redden when she says that. Somehow that makes her look even sexier. I pull her to me in one quick swoop and she yelps before saying, “Wait, though, I have one more.”

I raise one eyebrow hoping it’s not something too crazy but nothing could have prepared me for how deep what she says hurt .

“When this is over… you still need to be able to be my friend, deal?” Cara adds. It stops me for a moment, my whole body tensing. I know I’m not end game for her and I know she deserves better but it still hurts to hear it come from her lips. I know I won’t be able to move on from this trip but I’ll happily give her the week of her life. The more I think about it though, the more I realize that one isn’t going to be that hard because I’ll take whatever she’ll give me and hell if she upgrades me from best friend’s brother to friend, I’ll take it. Even if it kills me slowly in the process.

“Are there any rules about what to have for breakfast?” I ask, brushing her hair behind her ear and hoping she doesn’t see how she’s breaking my heart in the process, even before I can fully give it to her.

“What?! No, you know you can have whatever you want for breakfast because I don’t really care about eating this early.”

“Then I know exactly what I want,” I say, grabbing her leg, draping it over mine, and bringing my other hand to her neck. “I’m ready to eat.” And without waiting another second, I crush my lips to hers.