Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Whose bright idea was it to go out to dinner all the way across town, to a fancy restaurant with appetizers, dinner, dessert, and dancing?

“This restaurant is beautiful.” Sophia looked around. “Have you been here before?”

I shook my head. “Did you wear your hair up for me?”

“You do that a lot, you know.”

“What?”

“I ask you a question, and rather than answer it, you respond with a question on a totally unrelated topic.”

“I guess sometimes I have a one-track mind when I’m around you.”

She smiled. “Yes, I did.”

I was confused for a second. She’d jumped back to my question about her hair. “Thank you. But since you did that, you can expect me to be distracted all night.”

Sophia looked even more gorgeous than usual. She wore a red dress with a halter top and a fuck ton of cleavage on display. The way the top wrapped around her neck showcased that collarbone I loved so much. My eyes bounced back and forth like I was in a tennis match, volleying from round, full tits to her succulent neck.

I’d had the menu in my hand for a few minutes with my head tilted down, though I still hadn’t read a single word. So when the waiter walked over to take our order, I wasn’t even sure what my choices were.

“I’m going to have the pistachio-encrusted sea bass, please,” Sophia said.

I handed the waiter my menu. “Same.”

When he walked away, Sophia sipped her drink with a smirk. “You have no idea what was on the menu, do you?”

“Nope. Guess I’m lucky I usually like what you like.”

“What’s going on in that head of yours that has you so preoccupied, Lockwood?”

“You sure you want the answer to that question?”

She giggled, and I swear a rush of heat seeped through my chest. I’d gone out with gigglers before, and Sophia was definitely not one of those. During the day, she wore conservative business clothing and worked hard not to let anything super feminine overshadow her capabilities. She laughed during a business lunch, and wore high heels, both of which I found sexy as shit. But something happened when she went into date mode. She let her guard down, and all that pent-up feminine stuff came flowing out. So, yeah, I was attracted to Sophia the businesswoman. But Sophia the woman out on a date who allowed herself to giggle freely? She was absolutely mesmerizing.

“I definitely want the answer,” she said.

I reached for my water and slugged half of it back. “All right. You know how I love your neck?”

“I do.”

“Well, tonight you also have the most incredible cleavage on display, so my eyes can’t decide where to look. You look absolutely gorgeous, Soph.”

She smiled. “Thank you. But I have to admit, that’s a lot cleaner than I expected.”

I leaned toward her, over the table. “I wasn’t finished yet. While looking at your beautiful tits and the creamy skin on your chest and throat, I’m envisioning what my cum would look like all over it. I’ve been busy debating if one spill would be enough to blanket everything I want to cover, or if I would need to unload twice to properly drench you.”

Sophia’s mouth dropped open, and she laughed nervously. “Oh, my…”

The only thing I liked better than feminine Sophia on a date was turned-on Sophia with her mouth hanging open. I put two fingers under her chin and nudged her jaw back up. “I’m going to get arrested if you don’t keep this beautiful thing shut.”

Lucky for me, the waiter came back to deliver our appetizers. He spent a few minutes telling us about all of their desserts since some of them needed to be ordered an hour in advance. I was grateful that Sophia passed on the soufflé, because I intended to eat my dessert in private.

When he was gone, it was Sophia’s turn to guzzle some of her ice water. When she set it back down on the table, she immediately picked up the cocktail she’d ordered and drained half of that, too.

I chuckled. “I’m a little envious that I can’t have something to take the edge off.”

“I bet. You must walk around really damn tense from all the crap that goes on in your brain.”

We laughed, which seemed to ease the dangerous sexual tension from a few minutes ago.

“You wore red on prom night, too,” I said.

Her brows pulled together. “Did I? I can’t even remember what my dress looked like at the moment.”

I leaned back in my chair and shut my eyes. “Strapless. A little lighter than the color you have on now. It had a silver, sparkly belt that looked like a ribbon.” I motioned in a circle with my pointer finger. “You wore these silver strappy sandals that wrapped around your ankle. You tried to take them off when we got back to your house, but I made you keep them on.”

Sophia’s face lit up. “Oh my God. That’s right! How the heck did you remember that?”

“You don’t forget what the dress of a woman you’ve spent half your life sneaking peeks at looks like when you finally get to slip it off of her.”

“You…you used to sneak peeks at me?”

“Every chance I got. I thought you knew that. Though your face just told me I had that wrong. Guess I was pretty stealthy after all.”

“Guess so. I really thought you hated me.”

I smirked. “Oh, I did. But I also wanted to fuck your brains out.”

She laughed. “So not much has changed, then?”

“Nah. Now I just wish I hated you.” I shook my head. “You’re impossible not to l—” I caught myself. “Like. You’re impossible not to like.”

Sophia didn’t seem to notice my slip. Or if she did, she didn’t call me out on it.

“As long as we’re admitting the truth, I used to check you out all the time back in high school.” She smiled. “Maybe even middle school.”

“I was itching for a reason to clock that jackass you went out with, even before the night of the prom.”

“Well, somebody took care of that for you. I’m not sure if you knew, but apparently he got into a fight after I left the prom, and his nose was broken.”

“I’m aware. Cost my family twenty grand to stop him from pressing charges.”

Sophia’s eyes widened. “It was you? Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. He got what was coming to him. Plus, it wasn’t like you and I were friends.”

“I guess not.” Sophia got quiet for a minute. She traced the condensation on her water glass before looking back up at me. “Are we friends now?”

“You tell me, Soph.”

She took a moment before nodding. “When I think of a friend, I think of someone I can rely on, someone I trust and respect and also enjoy spending time with. So yeah, I think we’re friends. You know, it’s funny, I spent almost two years with Liam, yet I never felt like I could rely on him.” She shook her head. “I once had a small fender bender, but my airbag went off, and it left me sort of rattled. I called Liam, hoping he would come, but he told me he was in the middle of a dress rehearsal and suggested I call Scarlett.”

I shook my head. “That guy really was a dick.”

She smiled sadly. “He was. You’re definitely very different men. Somehow I know that if I’d called you like that, you’d have been there no matter what you were doing. You have a very protective way about you.”

I nodded. “I’d show up for you, Soph. I would’ve even back in high school. Don’t get me wrong, I’d bust your chops the entire time, but I’d show.”

She smiled. “So…I guess that makes us…what then? Friends with benefits? Pretty sure our families would disown us if they found out.”

“Fuck ’em,” I said.

“Oh… You don’t care?” She arched a brow. “So your family knows we’re sleeping together and have become friends?”

I shook my head. “No, but that’s mostly because I don’t discuss my personal life with them. Neither my father nor my grandfather has ever taken an interest before, and I don’t expect them to start anytime soon.”

“Does that bother you? That they don’t have an interest in getting to know you?”

I shrugged. “It used to. But I’ve spent way too many years trying to get them to see me. For a long time, I thought I was made of poison. Lately I’ve started to realize that venom can come from a family of snakes.”

Sophia looked so vulnerable. Holding her hand out across the table, she nodded like she understood. And I’m sure she did…a little, at least. Though I doubted she fully comprehended what my family was capable of.

Putting my hand in hers, I looked down at our entwined fingers for a long time. “Do you have plans for Labor Day weekend?”

She started to shake her head and then stopped. “Oh—actually, I do. I usually go to the Children’s Hospital’s charity event that weekend. My entire family does. Yours does, too, right?”

I leaned in and lifted her hand to my lips, placing a kiss on the top. “They do. Will you go with me?”

She looked surprised. “Are you asking me to go as your date?”

I nodded. “I am.”

“With all of our family in attendance?”

“Why not? It’ll be fun to see their faces.”

Sophia nibbled her bottom lip for a minute before her face lit up. “Okay!”

I smiled. “Good, then I guess I have a new friend and a date for the event Labor Day weekend.” I slipped my hand from hers and picked up my fork. “Now eat your damn food before it gets cold, so I can get you back to the hotel and decorate that neck.”

***

“So how are things going?” Dr. Halpern asked. She set her pad on her lap and folded her hands on top.

“Fine.”

“Have you been sleeping okay?”

My brows pulled down. “Same as usual. Why do you ask?”

“You look a little tired today.”

I couldn’t even try to hide my grin. “I was up late. But don’t worry, you don’t have to run to my grandfather. I wasn’t drinking or doing anything stupid.”

Well, I guess that would be a matter of opinion. My family would definitely think spending an entire night inside Sophia Sterling was stupid.

“I see. So you’re seeing someone, then?”

I was hesitant to talk about Sophia with Dr. Halpern, even though she’d assured me nothing we discussed, except my general emotional state, went into her report to my grandfather. Doctor-patient confidentiality meant nothing when your resources were limitless—though I did want to work some things out.

“Yeah. I’m seeing someone.”

“Tell me about her.”

I thought about how to describe Sophia. “She’s smart, beautiful, strong, and loyal. Basically, she’s way above my pay grade.”

“You think she’s too good for you?”

I shook my head. “Not think, know. She’s absolutely too good for me.”

“What makes you say that?”

I shrugged. “She just is.”

“Let’s back up for a moment. You said she’s smart. Do you feel you have inferior intelligence?”

“No. We can go toe to toe.”

“Okay. You said she was beautiful. Do you consider yourself unattractive?”

I knew I wasn’t. That wasn’t what this was about. “I’ll save you some time, Doc. We’re not equals on the loyalty front.”

“Is it because you have a tendency to stray and she doesn’t?”

There was no damn way stepping out would be an issue with Sophia in my bed. “No, sex is definitely not an issue.”

“So this is about you being someone she can rely on for things that are not physical?”

I let out a long, low sigh. “I don’t exactly have a track record for being someone people can rely on. Plus… Let’s just say things between us didn’t exactly start off with honesty.”

Dr. Halpern picked up her notepad and scribbled something. “Who do you feel you’ve let down in your life?”

I scoffed. “Probably easier to ask who I didn’t.”

She was quiet for a moment and then nodded. “Okay. Let’s say everything you’ve just said is true, even though I’m certain it’s not. Why can’t this woman be the first person who experiences the new Weston Lockwood?”

“People don’t change.”

Dr. Halpern pursed her lips. “That would render my job useless, wouldn’t it?”

I said nothing.

Dr. Halpern laughed. “You have manners, so you didn’t answer the question with words. I appreciate that. But your face said it all. There are very few things I’ll argue with a patient about, but having the ability to change is one of them. We all have the ability to change, Weston. Maybe not our DNA, but certainly the way we treat people is something we’re all capable of modifying. It’s not always easy, but the first step is awareness—recognizing what needs to be changed and wanting things to be different. Whether what you believe about yourself is true or not is almost immaterial. What’s important is that you believe it to be true, and you have the desire for things to change.”

“No offense, Doc, but that sounds like a lot of psychobabble. If changing is that simple, why doesn’t everyone do it? Prisons are filled with repeat offenders. I’m sure most guys who rob convenience stores don’t walk through the gates on release day thinking, I can’t wait to go rob someone again and come back here.”

“I’d have to agree with you. In that case, things are hard when they walk out of prison. They likely have no money, and the life they knew before has moved on without them. I never said it was easy to change. But if you hit the pavement eight hours a day, every day, willing to accept any minimum-wage job, most people will find something to cover feeding themselves and putting a roof over their head. The problem is, it’s a lot harder to work forty hours a week washing the floor and scrubbing dishes than it is to point a gun at someone and steal a thousand dollars out of a register. So you truly have to want a clean lifestyle at any cost.”

Dr. Halpern shook her head. “I think we’ve gotten off track, but the principle is still the same. There will be situations in your life that tempt you away from being loyal, and sometimes not taking the temptation will cost you something. It’s a matter of how badly you want what you want and what you’re willing to sacrifice to get it.”

She made it sound so simple. It wasn’t like I’d made a conscious choice in the past to screw things up. All of a sudden, I’d find myself someplace, and I usually hadn’t realized where I was heading until I got there.

“I don’t always see my bad choices before I make them.”

She nodded. “That’s understandable. But there are a few things you can start to practice that will lead you in the right direction.”

“Like what?”

“For starters, express your feelings. Whether it’s a good thing or bad thing, try to be open. Don’t lie or omit things that are on your mind. And that’s a task that’s easier said than done. For example, does this woman know how you feel about her?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure I even know how I feel about her.”

Dr. Halpern smiled. “Are you sure? Very often, we tell ourselves we feel conflicted about someone or something because the thought of how we really feel scares us.”

Fuck. I dragged a hand through my hair. She was right. I was falling in love with Sophia, and not the kind of fall that happened slowly. I was barreling head over heels, hard and fast, and it scared the living shit out of me. It took a few minutes for that to sink in, even though it had been there all along. My head pounded, and my mouth felt like the Sahara Desert. I looked up at Dr. Halpern and discovered she’d been watching me mull everything around in my head.

Frowning, I said, “Fine. Maybe you’re not such a quack after all.”

She laughed. “I think we’ve had a good session today, so I won’t push you to discuss the feelings you have about this new woman. But loyalty is a two-way street, and it begins with honesty. Now that you’ve admitted what your heart holds, perhaps the next step is sharing it with the person who holds your heart.”