Chapter 5

FIVE

Owen

I dip my pen in the inkwell before bringing it over the page, but I've already lost my train of thought. Not that I'm sure I ever had one. I've been derailed since I decided to marry Colin. I cannot face my parents, at least for thirty-ish days, so Nevada is less likely to grant an annulment.

I can do this.

If I tell myself enough, I'll figure it out.

I can do—the world is closing in—this.

I can…

My forehead hits the seventeenth century writing desk.

I bang it a few times until I'm sure I have a bruise. Lifting my head, I realize I've splattered ink all over the desk.

"Fuck."

Oliver will kill me. I shove backward to get a rag to mop it up. I turn around to Colin not three paces from me.

"For fuck's sake, can you warn a man? You're going to make me jump out of my damn skin."

"We're married now. What's mine is yours."

"You signed a prenup."

"On a napkin." Colin waves me off. "Won't hold up in court."

"It will so, there is case law to support it…" I trail off when I notice the look on his face. "What?"

"I don't care about money. I don't want yours. I'm going to live here."

"Is this some plot to annoy Oliver? Because I do not have the mental fortitude to deal with the two of you making this some sort of sparring match when it's just an arrangement."

Colin doesn't reply right away. He draws his gaze down my body, but I refuse to let him make me uncomfortable. At least not visibly.

I cross my arms. "Say it."

Colin steps closer. "It's not a ploy. We both got something we wanted."

"Right. For me not to marry your sister." I nod, reassuring myself.

"Yes, my sister…" he mutters something else, but I can't quite make it out.

"What?"

"Nothing." A grin springs onto Colin's mouth. "But we have to make it believable. So I obviously have to live here." He's right. I know he's right.

"Fuck."

"Oliver already knows."

"He might move out or kill you if you move in," I mutter. "Whatever. It's just two years."

Colin's brow pops. "We have a timeframe?"

"Sure, to make everyone believe it. We agreed to that." At least, I think we did. It's still all fuzzy on the details. "Right?"

Colin's eyes narrow while he searches my face. "Right, but I think we have very different ideas of how to convince everyone."

"I'm listening." As much as a man filled with existential dread could listen to anything, rational or not. I probably won't know the difference either.

"Our families won't buy us hiding out. If we were really head over heels in love, we'd be shouting it from the rooftops." Colin stabs his index finger into my chest.

Warmth filters at the contact. I hate how lonely I am without Oliver here. How much worse it will get when Oliver moves out with Isaac. Fucking humans and their need for contact. Utter rubbish.

I step back, not allowing myself to go there. This is strictly business.

"I hadn't considered it from that angle. A misjudgment on my part." I've been too concerned about a damn annulment. "So what are you suggesting?"

"We have to play the part, with our families at least."

"For how long?"

"Some time until they are convinced." Colin lifts his shoulder. "But if we aren't fucking smitten, at least my family won't believe it."

I swallow, rubbing the place on my chest his finger had been. "I see your counterpoints and will take them into consideration." I need to clean up the ink before I think about anything else. I wipe my hands on my trousers since they are already beyond repair. "If you'll excuse me. I need to attend to the ink." I try to step around Colin, but he steps with me.

"Not so fast."

"Is there another matter which needs to be discussed? Surely it can wait until I've changed my soiled clothes and attended to the mess." I try again to get around him.

Colin doesn't let me. "If anyone is going to believe this, you need to come up to speed, and fast."

"What do you mean?" I balk.

"You have to act like you like me." Colin lifts his chin, meeting my eyes. "But more than that, you have to be enthusiastic about me."

I wrinkle my nose, unable to hide my disdain. "I'm depressed. I'm not enthusiastic about anything. Hardly realistic."

"If I'm not the light of your life, why jump into a marriage?"

"Love is not a cure for depression!" I snap.

"No, but I bet you both our parents think it is, and if you act like this—" He circles his finger at me. "They'll see right through us."

I huff, blowing my hair out of my face. "And how do you suggest I fake happiness?"

"Act? Pretend? How were you when you were happy?" I'm sure I look like a deer in headlights, which has Colin scrutinizing me. "You're kidding me."

My shoulders creep towards my ears. "I know what craving a toaster bath is like, and I know what numb is like. My doctor keeps telling me numb is better, but I'm not so sure. Toaster bath is at least electrifying."

Colin blinks but then cracks a smile. "Was that a joke?"

My lips twitch a bit, curling up, but it feels wrong, and I stop it. "Clearly. I can be depressed and funny."

Colin steps closer, until our chests are touching, mouths an exhale apart. I don't flinch away from him. I stand my miserable ground, determined to get through this.

And it feels rather nice to be touched. Not that I would admit that to him. Or anyone else.

"You've really only been with one person?" Colin's forearm comes to rest on my shoulder, fingers ghosting up the back of my neck.

"Why would I lie about such a thing?" I find it's harder to be sarcastic with his breath mingling with mine.

"I don't know. Oliver seems to lie about everything."

"I don't think he lies. He's insufferable about being right. It's obnoxious." I don't know what to do with my hands, so I shove them into my pockets, ink and all.

"At least we can agree about one thing. See? Progress." His touch tickles along my hairline, and I fight a full body shudder.

I suck in a lungful of air. Who needs a toaster when every inch his fingers creep into my hair sends a jolt of electricity down my spine. "I'll take it. I must insist on cleaning up now. You're going to spoil your clothes as well."

"Who cares?"

"While I'm sure you don't pay a lot for those shirts, you must take quite a lot of time to find ones so unique…" I trail off as his nose touches mine.

"You have to be able to kiss me."

"What?!"

"If you aren't comfortable with it, how can we have a wedding reception?" Damn this man and his points.

My lip curls into a snarl. I don't enjoy being backed into a corner. "I'll kiss you when you earn it," I growl into his mouth, making sure he can feel every word.

"Earn it?" Delight sparks across his expression.

"You heard me." I fist my hand in his shirt. "If you think you're in charge here, you're gravely mistaken."