Chapter 39

THIRTY-NINE

Owen

I 'm nervous waiting in the hall for the National disciplinary board to finish discussing my case. There had been a series of investigations done quickly to resolve the matter before the championships to decide my fate. I'd been given a chance for us to present our case this morning, and now we sit in a hallway with my friends around me, not sure what to do with myself.

Oliver seems bored, Isaac nervous, and Colin a wreck. His face is still badly bruised, but he's a lot less swollen than he was last week. An hour passes and Isaac's stomach starts to growl.

"What can be taking them so long?" Oliver slips his hands in his pockets.

"These things take time. They don't want to look like they are allowing an abuser to continue."

"An abuser," Oliver scoffs. "Like they haven't let worse into the Olympics and no one would blame Owen."

Our lawyer lifts his hands palms up. "Some people think there is never an excuse for violence."

"What an absurd view point after he attacked his child." Oliver rolls his eyes.

I don't know why, but I find my brother's attitude funny. I love how defensive he is of people he loves. Even if it's not always fun to be the subject of that love.

"It doesn't matter, Oliver. It will be yes or no. I've made my peace with it." I put an arm around him.

He lets me pull him into a hug. "They won't be happy with the outcome if it is a no," he says under his breath, and our lawyer shoots him a ‘shut the fuck up' look.

"I hope you don't lose it." Colin sits next to me when Oliver and Isaac go in search of coffee.

"It's okay if I do."

"I don't want you to resent me."

I frown. "I won't resent you."

"Yes, you will. You will look back when you're old and think you threw it all away and hate me for it. You're losing the most important thing in your life." He sighs, hanging his head.

I hate the weight he's carrying. I lift his chin. "Look at me."

"Please don't say you won't. I'm so worried."

"Look at me, Colin."

He finally lifts his gaze.

"I'm not losing the most important thing to me. You're the most important part of my life. As long as I have you, nothing else can touch me. Nothing else matters." I press my lip to his, needing him to feel my words. "You are everything, and without you, nothing matters."

We file back in twenty minutes later, and the committee reads me the riot act. Going on and on about sportsman-like behavior and how athletes who represent our country should act. I tune it out. I'd say I'd do it again if they asked. Thankfully, they don't. I must act remorseful enough in my exhausted, overstimulated, tuned-out state because they stop.

I wait and finally the head judge stands.

"We've decided since this is your first offense on a spotless record to give you another chance to compete."

I exhale heavily. "Thank you."

The committee files out.

But before I can move, Colin dives at me, hugging me tight. "I was so worried."

I pick him up, and he wraps around me like a spider monkey. "You better be cleared to fuck, because we are finding a bathroom."

Colin picks up his head, pupils dilated with lust. "Promise?"

"Yes, I'm going to take all your doubts about my feelings and possible resentment out on your ass."