Chapter 8

8

The guide said the caves are about ten minutes from here." Jo's voice bounces off the water, magnified, as she turns from the front seat of the double kayak. "Apparently you can paddle right through, come out a hundred yards or so down." As she digs the paddle into the water, every muscle in her upper back and arms is perfectly defined by a slick layer of sunscreen.

Maya, in a single kayak a few feet away, pulls an expression of mock horror. "Having fun?" she mouths.

Hana smiles, but it's forced. Although it's not hard work—the kayak steadily powering through the calm water—she feels queasy and can still taste the acidity of the fruit juice they'd had on arrival. She shouldn't have drunk it, not before exercising. The heat doesn't help, she thinks, feeling sweat prick the back of her rash guard.

In truth, Hana would prefer to be back in the villa, feet suspended in the turquoise square of their plunge pool, a glass of ice water beside her. It was every bit as beautiful as the photographs—white walls; honeyed limestone floor; leafy, tropical plants in the corners. A holiday hacienda vibe—rattan furniture, large terra-cotta vases, woven patterned rugs. Artworks in fierce rust reds, pinks, and blues.

Why did they have to rush out? Why can't Jo just enjoy the moment?

Bea wouldn't have done that , she thinks, irritated. She, like Hana, would have lingered, analyzed the little touches together—the tiny abstract artwork composed of pieces of bleached driftwood attached to the walls, the surreal clusters of cacti.

Hana had tried to hang back, make her excuses, but her pleas had been ignored. It's where Bea would have been useful. She's one of the few people who puts Jo in her place.

"Hey, you three. Enough chat. We need to up the pace if you want to make it back for lunch," Seth calls.

He and Caleb are up ahead, also in a double kayak. The two make an unlikely pairing—Seth's broad, tanned back a sharp contrast to Caleb's narrow build, clad in a shiny blue rash guard. It looks like Seth's doing most of the work—Caleb's strokes are messy, his paddle skimming the surface of the water rather than slicing through.

The island curves around toward the villas, and with it, the water turns a darker, inkier blue, huge ropes of seaweed standing upright from the bottom. Hana shudders, feeling the resistance as they wrap around her blade.

As they paddle past the last of the villas, the gentle landscape gives way to something wilder: the enormous walls of trees that she'd glimpsed when they arrived. Pines meld with conifers, oaks, brambly shrubs. A few yards on, the cliffs slope sharply inward, forming a small cove. It's deserted—no people or paddleboards.

Jo steers them closer. Raising her blade, she points. "Pretty sure this is it. I recognize it from the photos of the entrance. It loops around once you're inside."

Hana looks uneasily at the small archway of limestone, barely wide enough to allow the kayak through.

"It's pretty narrow." Caleb rests his paddle horizontally across his lap. "You're sure this is the right spot?"

"It'll be wider inside. Other people have done it... we'll go first, won't we, Han? Show you guys the way."

Hana can hear the challenge in Jo's voice. Still tasting the acid in the back of her throat, she swallows it away and nods. "Of course."

They paddle slowly toward the archway of rock. Caleb's right: when they reach the opening it's so narrow that they can't paddle, have to stop to let momentum carry them through and into the cave. Hana tenses as the sides of the kayak scrape the wall, a rough, rasping sound, but a few moments later, they're inside.

Instantly, the cave dims to a murky gloom. The limestone ceiling is low, blotchy with moisture. Barnacles and limpets lace the stone. It's a few feet wider now, with room to paddle on both sides.

"Everything all right?" Jo turns.

"Fine." Hana's voice echoes off the low ceiling and walls. Paddling farther in, it gets even darker, the water nearly black. A musty smell pervades the air, fishy and stale.

Up ahead, the passage narrows again. "Are you sure it follows around?"

"Sure." Hana can hear the hint of impatience in her sister's voice. "Hold on." Jo reaches for the slim tube of the flashlight hanging on a bungee cord around her neck, flicks it on. The beam picks out a curve in the wall about twenty yards ahead. "See?"

Hana's fear gives way to a sudden euphoria, something she hasn't felt in a long time. Adventures like this had not been in the cards since Liam died. He was the active one. Her default, without him, was sofa surfer.

The channel of water finally widens enough for them to paddle side by side. Jo directs the flashlight straight ahead, a thin shaft of light spilling across the water. It turns the surface smoky—an eerie blue-green—and casts long shadows against the cave wall. Unfathomable shapes appear within the stone, a frenzy of color and texture.

Hana paddles ahead, absorbing it all. "This is amazing," she says, turning. Jo grins. Hana realizes that this is what they were missing these past few years—a shared experience like this. Coffees, quick meals, actual adventures together. Making new memories.

She's about to voice as much when she hears the low murmur of Jo's voice. Hana watches, dismayed as Jo directs the camera around her and Hana realizes that the smile she thought was at her is in fact directed at Jo's phone. So much for family time. Was Instagram and TikTok what this trip was all about? An exercise in self-promotion?

"Can't we just have a few minutes without that bloody phone? You documenting every single thing... Don't you ever want to be in the moment rather than recording it?"

Jo turns, her face tight. "Han, for God's sake, lighten up, it's partly why we're here. I've got to produce content about the retreat to justify the gifted stay." She shakes her head. "It's always the same with you. So bloody judgmental."

Absorbing the hurt in her sister's expression, Hana hesitates, regretting saying anything. Perhaps she is too quick to judge.

But before she can speak, Jo's face softens. "But you're right, I'll put it away." The edge has left her tone. "I forget how all-consuming it feels to other people; Seth says the same. I get it, but sometimes all this..." She nods at her phone. "It's easier than the real world."

Hana looks at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

"This edited version of life I'm putting out there. I prefer it sometimes. None of the messy stuff in real life, the weird dynamics between people."

Hana smiles. "You're trying to say we're messy..."

"A little." Jo grins. "It's just still a bit odd, between us all, isn't it? I keep wondering if it is a good idea, trying to force something that isn't there anymore. You, me, Maya." She hesitates. "How's Maya been with you?"

"Fine, I mean, we're still catching up, but apart from that..."

"You're sure? She hasn't said anything?"

"About what?"

A flicker of something in Jo's eyes before she smiles. "Nothing in particular." But as they paddle away, the smile stays fixed in place. A beat too long to be genuine.