Epilogue

Reece

Three years later

Faye comes home on an early release for good behavior on November first. Asher and the North Wynn Bulldogs defend their three-time championship trophy three weeks later, and we celebrate our commitment ceremony one week after that.

It was supposed to be a quiet dinner at our house with our people, until we realized how many people we have who love us – Faye and Pippin, who have been inseparable since Faye came home, Mrs. Cameron, who cooked all the food, Abdul Patel because he said he's never seen three people marry each other before. Dotty came too with enough chocolate caramel cake and apple pies to feed a small army. All the boys from the woodlot, Brennan too. Principal Branson and most of the staff from North Wynn High. Even Elaine is here. She just hugged me and told me happiness has many faces.

I told Julie about my life, and she said she was happy for me. I informed my father of our commitment ceremony, a small part of me hoping he'll change his mind about me, because Sawyer always says everyone needs a chance. He didn't come. I left it at that.

Now, after the exchange of our rings, I offer Sawyer something else as a sign of my eternal gratitude for his love for me.

He looks at the old, tattered journal curiously.

Asher presses his lips to my hair. "You kept this?"

I nod. "My father used it to tear us apart. I want it to be proof that we were meant to be together. Me, you and Sawyer."

Asher explains it to Sawyer. "Reece and I used to write in this journal when we were teenagers, about how much we loved each other and all the dreams we had, and other nonsense."

I hold out the journal to him. "Write something," I tell him.

He takes it from me, and underneath the note I made when I first arrived in Iowa about how kind and welcoming he was, he writes: Reece belongs here, always. Reece, and Abby too.

He dates it, and I don't know how to keep myself from crying like a baby in front of all our friends. So, I panic and blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind. "Your handwriting is so ugly."

He laughs. "I love you too, Reece," he says, and then he kisses me, and I do cry this time.

Asher is swallowed up by our guests and he plays the perfect host while Sawyer finds a seat and begins to page through the journal.

"Uncle Reece?" Five-year-old Ezra pulls on my pants.

I get down on my knee. "Yeah, buddy?"

"I'm overwhelned ."

I don't correct him. I love his incorrect words that he learns from too much TV. I miss the days when he would say abstenauts for astronauts . "You're overwhelned?"

"Yeah. I wanna go to the paywin."

"You wanna go to the playroom?"

He nods.

"Okay, let's go."

"Oh, no you don't," Pippin says when she catches me and Ez trying to sneak out of the party.

"What?" I ask.

Faye comes up behind her. "You have got to stop stealing him away like that."

I shrug. "I'm his favorite. Bye."

And we make our getaway into the house.

Sawyer and Ash find me on the floor with Ez in the guest room, now his paywin .

They drop to the floor next to me and begin to build the LEGO pieces.

We sit like that in the quiet for a long time. Sometimes, we don't need words. And after all these years, sometimes our life together is boring.

Sometimes, I don't like Sawyer because he puts too much salt in the chicken teriyaki and I tell him to fuck off, and only Mrs. Cameron can make chicken teriyaki. He tells me that he'd rather fuck me. Also, I want to punch him when he watches his series on my Netflix profile. And sometimes, Asher doesn't like us because we gang up on him and refuse to fuck him unless he agrees to wear his cap backwards. He just doesn't get the appeal.

Sometimes, sex is boring and other times we forget all the plans we made for a hot date night because we're too tired.

It's perfect and it's everything I dreamed of for a life for myself. Everything worked out. Everything worked out for me.

I arrived at Asher's front door four months after Abby's death to ask for his forgiveness and to tell him about my daughter. I see now that I was not running away from my problems, like my father told me. I was going home, because, since I was seventeen, home has always been somewhere in Iowa.

My eyes fall to the silver rings on our fingers, and I realize that life can still turn out fine even if the path you thought you needed to take isn't the one you found yourself on. It may not look like the road we imagined but we can still find happiness.

I found my best friend again. My first and most devastating love is mine again. In Asher, it feels like I've returned home.

In Sawyer, I got to experience the joy and wonder of falling in love as an adult. Forming bonds with someone with the advantage of age and experience.

It's a privilege to be able to love like this, and to be loved like this in return.

I found them when I was at my lowest, loneliest point. And now, my life is full. I'll never forget Abigail, and my only regret is that she'll never know these beautiful people.

I have a family now. A real family built on love and respect and kindness. On safety and genuine care.

And that is all I ever wanted.