Chapter 63

Sawyer

Linksfield High won the state championship tonight. We watched the live stream, and Asher cried after the last-minute field goal that took us to a 27-24 victory.

But there's no us . Unlike previous years, Asher isn't on the sidelines urging his team to victory. We weren't at Al's Diner earlier tonight celebrating with the rest of the town. Asher is no longer a part of the celebrations.

In the days leading up to the championship, he became more and more quiet. Not even the knowledge that Buddy Carter is no longer a threat to our life together has managed to keep him in good spirits.

I find him outside, sitting on the porch, as I have several times this past week. The weather is dipping so I've had to get him a blanket each time I find him out there.

Tonight is no different. Reece is asleep in our bed, and I heard Ash leave the room about thirty minutes ago. I gave him some time to himself, but he can't be alone like this every night at midnight.

He's smoking a cigarette. "I'm okay. Go back to sleep." He gives me a weary smile.

"Great game, huh?" I say.

"Yeah. They played so well. Was a bit touch-and-go for a while, though, right?"

"Yeah, but I always knew they'd make it."

"What do you think, Sawyer?" he asks after we've sat in a comfortable silence for a while. "Fight it, right?"

When I don't answer immediately, he says, "There's no decorum between us. Tell me the truth. What do you think I should do?"

"I don't think you should appeal because I don't like the idea of you going back to a place that has treated you so poorly. I'm disappointed that Principal Watson didn't fight harder for you."

"But I can't let them get away with it. I can't lose like this."

The screen door is pulled open again, and Reece steps outside. He's pulling on a hoodie, his bed hair making him look like a college kid after a rough night.

"Hey," he says in his sleep voice.

"Hey," I say. "Come here."

Reece goes to sit next to Asher. He rests the side of his head against Asher's arm. "You okay?" he asks.

Asher nods. "Sawyer says I shouldn't appeal. He doesn't like the idea of me going back to Linksfield even if I win the appeal. What do you think?"

Reece pulls out his phone. "Take a look at this," he says, turning the screen. I go to stand next to them. It's an Instagram reel with Sam's face filling the screen.

Asher takes the phone from him. "What's this?" he asks.

"You have your people, Ash," Reece says. "No matter what happens, you'll always have your people."

Sam's voice comes blasting through. They're in the middle of after game celebrations. "This message . . . this message—" Teammates hang on him as he tries to stay in view of the camera.

"This message is for Coach Cameron." He screams into the camera, holding up the trophy. "This one's for you, Coach Cameron. This one's for you."

I stand next to Asher, weaving my fingers through his hair as he tries to keep his tears away.

"You don't need to appeal your case, Coach Cameron," Sam yells. "You've already taught us everything. We wanted you to stay. We fought for you to stay."

Someone pulls him to the ground, laughing and screaming victory songs. "But your work here is done, Coach. We have everything we need. And now, it's time for you to move on. Now it's time to walk away. Go and teach another team how to believe in themselves. And when they force you out from there, then find another team. Don't ever stop. You and coaches like you are all we have. Don't worry about us, sir."

I gather my husband into my arms as his shoulders quake with tears. "Did you really lose, sweetheart? After listening to that, did you really lose?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "They're amazing."

"Maybe it's time to move on. They're going to be fine," I say.

"You don't think it's weak? To just walk away?"

"No, baby. Sometimes it's the bravest thing you can do."

"Yeah. And I'm just tired of fighting, you know? Not just this. It's everything. I hate having to explain our existence to people. I just want peace. And the two of you are my peace."

He looks at Reece. "But look at what happened the last time I didn't fight back. When I let your father get away with tearing us apart like that."

Reece grins and presses his lips to Asher's. "Yeah." He pulls me by the neck of my shirt and kisses me. "Just look at what happened."

Asher chuckles into our kiss. "You have a point, I guess."