Chapter 58

Reece

If Asher's team wins the game next week, they'll advance to the playoffs.

It's all we can talk about. The town is abuzz with excitement and apprehension over the fact that Coach Cameron isn't there. It's true what they say about this town. It's split down the middle over this debacle.

Now, Sawyer and I sit on the tailgate of his truck in the parking lot eating lunch and, as usual, Sawyer talks about the upcoming game.

"They'll make it," he tells me after he's chewed his hotdog. I love how Sawyer can eat a hotdog in two bites. "They've played Herbert Hoover High before. Asher spent hours and hours with the boys scouting them. They understand the formations and styles. They'll crush them. I know it. Asher taught them well."

He glances over at me. "Asher will be okay," he says. But I've come to learn some of Sawyer's subtle tics. It's the way his voice drops just that little bit. Or when he looks at me too long after he's said something he's not entirely convinced of.

I reassure him now, unwrapping another hotdog for him. "He'll be okay."

"If it comes to the worst, we'll just work more hours, me and you, right?"

"Yes." I wish I could reach over and kiss him but some of the loggers are milling about the parking lot.

"You don't mind?" Sawyer asks. He takes the hotdog from me and half of it disappears into his mouth. When I look at him curiously, he indicates with his hand to wait for him to finish chewing. Then, he adds, "We don't always have a lot of money. We have just enough to get by, have a nice life, help Pippin out. You . . . your life back in—"

"Sawyer, if you don't stop looking so cute trying to ask me if I don't mind not having money all the time, I'm going to kiss you so hard right here in front of everyone."

He grins. "You're the one who's cute. I'm not cute. And yeah, I guess that's what I'm asking."

"Okay, you're hot. So fuckin' hot. And no, I'm not in the least bit bothered about the money situation. Not in the way you think, anyway. I'm worried I don't contribute enough and that I'm letting you and Asher down, but I don't miss my old life."

Sawyer leans over and gives me a peck on my lips. I go in for more, but he pulls away, chuckling. "No. That's enough PDA for you."

"Tease."

"I'll show you tonight what a tease I am."

I stare at him, and he looks over at me when I don't respond. Laughing, he shoves my shoulder. "For a guy who can take two dicks at once you're such a lightweight sometimes, baby. Now put those sex eyes away. I want to tell you something."

I shake my head, laughing. "Tell me."

"I wanted to tell you about Faye. About my family. There's so much uncertainty around Ash's job and all that, I was thinking I don't want to keep things from you. I don't want you to feel like Ash knows things about me and you don't."

Instantly, I shove away all my fantasies about tonight because this is what I've craved almost since the beginning. To know Sawyer like this.

I nod. "No decorum between us."

"Yeah." He tells me they grew up dirt poor. His father left them. His mother died of Diabetes when he was sixteen. Diabetes type one.

"You took care of Pippin and Faye all by yourself?" I ask.

"Yeah. And Ash and I got married just after they turned eighteen." Then he turns to face me. "Reece, I don't have a high school diploma. I've never even seen the inside of a university. I'm not very smart. My sister is in prison and I don't know where my father is. He could be dead, and I wouldn't even know. I don't make a lot of money. You know that already, and I may have to support Pippin for a long time before she gets on her feet and becomes independent."

I want to press his face into my chest and let him listen to how my heart beats for him. "Do you think any of what you just told me changes anything between us?" I ask.

"I hope not. I don't think so, but y'know, if you have any questions, you can ask me. I won't avoid them this time."

"I had everything money could buy growing up, Sawyer, but all I ever wanted was a family. People who loved me even if I didn't get straight A's at school, or when I couldn't make the track or football or basketball teams. When my mom left after the divorce and it was just me and my dad, all I dreamed about was having a family who loved me. Asher's family gave me that. And now, you've given me that. You're my family. Just like Asher has always been my family."

"My father used to say this place is too small for him. Sometimes, I wonder when you'll start missing the big city."

I laugh. "If I miss the city, I'll save up and go and see the city. And I'll drag your ass with me."

He looks at me like the option never occurred to him. "Yeah. I guess we could do that."

I laugh harder. "You're so cute when you think I'm going to leave you. I love—"

The universe and all its stars and comets and cosmic dust pause, and I have nowhere to hide.

Sawyer's eyes bore into me. My heart leaps into my throat and I can no longer breathe. He holds my gaze, refusing to release me from this moment I've created between us. Nothing moves and nothing exists.

"I mean—"

His lips tick upward. An ever-so-slight smile. "Oh, baby. I've got you now," he murmurs. His gaze drops to my lips, and then quickly back up to fuse back with mine.

His eyes have darkened like they do when we're having sex, hooded and so fucking sexy. I open my mouth to say something – I don't know what – but Sawyer hops off the tailgate. Pushing his palm against my chest, he grumbles, "I think I need a new job. I can't work with you. You're too cute." And then he walks away.

"W-what?" I sputter. What's happening? I didn't confess my love for this man to his face half a second ago. Did I? I only half said it. Maybe I was going to say I love his sense of humor.

Fuck. My face feels like the sun exploded on it.

Sawyer stops and turns. "What's wrong, baby? You look like a ripe tomato."

He walks back to me. "Nothing has ever turned me on as much as what came out of your mouth just now. Even if it was half said, I know what you meant to say, and if I have to tell you what I think about that I'll have to also fuck you in this truck right this fucking minute."

I suck in a breath. Fuck.

Then, when he turns away again, I grab his wrist because I – I just don't want to let him go.

His gaze warms, and he answers a question I can't ask. "Fuck, Reece. Me too. All this time, baby. Maybe even right from the start."