Chapter 43

Sawyer

Reece has moved from cleaning trailers. By July he's chopping wood full time.

This pretty man with the soft, sad-not-sad eyes has no idea what he looks like with a chainsaw in his hand. I'm not surprised that Brian is offering to buy him lunch every other day, to which Reece politely declines each time. But what I find a little shocking is how much I want to rip the skin right off Brian's face for going near him.

It's not me, this insane possessiveness. He's mine and he's ours , is what pounds inside my brain when I think about anyone else touching, wanting him.

We make an effort to keep our distance at the woodlot now that I need to fuck him every time he's within two feet of me. It's helpful that he doesn't need training anymore, and we sometimes work on opposite ends of the lot.

Still, I watch Brian like a hawk, and feel all kinds of stupid because I'm not the jealous type. Asher is my love, and he was all I needed, and I have never felt the threat of losing him, not even when Reece showed up at our home.

But Reece . . . I want to hide him away just in case someone tries to take him away from me. From us. I'm jealous of the smiles he offers up to the boys, especially Brian, and I want to drag him away when they get too close to him.

And I'm afraid. I'm afraid he'll realize this was all a mistake and this life is too simple for him, and he'll make an announcement any day now that he's going back to Paradise Valley. He doesn't want us – me – anymore. Our town is too small for him. Too backward. Not enough excitement. He needs to figure things out.

We can't do things together outside. He still lives in his apartment, so I try to make the weekends he spends with us exciting. Maybe he won't feel like leaving if there are things to do.

I show him how to carve out figurines from wood. He loves it, I think, but he's terrible at it. It doesn't matter, we keep trying week after week when Asher is away at football camp and gets in late.

Back in June, I showed him how to prepare the ground for corn planting in our backyard, and we planted radishes and cucumbers together. His glee when the first sprouts came up was so endearing that Asher had to hold him tight and tell him what a good job he'd done.

In the middle of August, Reece politely declines Brian's invitation to dinner at Al's Diner. Now, two weeks later, my blood is boiling, standing in the middle of the woodlot watching him eat lunch with Brian. I throw down my mattock and head for the wash basin, which is situated less than two feet away from them.

Reece follows my movements, chewing slowly, a tiny smile pulling at the corner of his lips. He's enjoying this? He can watch me and Ash fuck tonight for this behavior. Grabbing a towel from the portable rack, I stuff it into my back pocket and drop my head under the faucet, letting the water wash over my hair and face. Wait. No. He'd like that too much.

"You have to stop looking at me like that in public."

I run the towel over my face, not turning around. "Yeah? Like what?"

"Like you own me."

"Don't I? Or is it Brian that owns you, baby?"

Reece chuckles, and I finally turn to find out what's so funny. "You're so hot when you're jealous," he says. I stare at his brown eyes and his pink lips, shiny from the touch of oil left over from his fried chicken. His work clothes are dirty. His hands, roughened over the last few months by manual labor, flick through his overgrown hair, sending dust into the air, and what I wouldn't give to bury my face in his neck and smell his sweat. His pretty face is a stark contrast to all this manliness he's exuding right now.

My face heats up. Not because of the hot part, or whatever, but because he knows about the jealous part. Brian comes up behind Reece.

"So, what do you say?" Brian asks him. I shoot Reece a look.

"About what?" I ask.

This motherfucker just grins. "Brian wants to go out for drinks after work." He lets me stew, and then adds, "All of us."

I'll show him. I shrug. "Why don't you go ahead? I'm going to see my sister tonight. And her baby."

Reece's eyes widen like someone promised him a double penetration. Full of happiness.

"You guys go on without me. I'll spend some time with little Ezra."

"Hey, wait," Reece says. "Can I come? I want to see Ezra too."

Brian raises his eyebrow. "Most people go to bars to get away from babies," he says. And I want to fucking deck him, but that's not fair because he doesn't know anything. Only I know, and I'm sorry that I used Ezra to get Reece to stay with me, but I knew he'd choose seeing Ezra over going to the bar.

"Reece likes babies," I say, but I can't keep the bite out of my tone.

"Didn't even know that." Brian shrugs and pats Reece's back. "Next time."

At the end of the shift, Reece is waiting for me at the truck. We drive the fifteen minutes to Pippin's place with Reece's hand on my thigh and my hand covering his. When we're out of our residential area, I link my fingers with his and bring our clasped hands to my lips.

"You're special, Reece," I say, taking my eyes off the road for a second to look at him. "I don't want to share you with anyone but Asher."

"I'm yours. Yours and Asher's. Don't worry." He smiles, and happiness looks good on him, I decide.

When I pull up to the front yard, Pippin is outside, taking some clothes off the wash line. Among the clothes is a pair of worn men's jeans.

I shoot Asher a text: I'm going to kill Pippin .

He texts back immediately: Just got done. I'm going up there right now.

"Ezra sleeping?" I ask Pippin, shielding my eyes from the evening sun.

"Yeah. I just put him down." She comes over to me and hugs me tight with one hand and does the same with Reece. "Nice to see you again, Reece. You want to see Ezra?"

I look over at my lover's face and my heart squeezes. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and he's nodding and shaking his head at the same time. "I don't want to disturb him."

She laughs. "He loves to be cuddled. Go and lie next to him. He'll sleep longer that way, anyway."

"You sure?" Reece says, but he's already walking toward the front door.

Once he's disappeared inside, I point to the pair of jeans slung over her arm. "Asher's on his way. You'll have some explaining to do."

"I told him he couldn't come around here anymore. He said okay. I think it's over between us. He just wanted me to wash a few of his clothes. He didn't even sleep over. He'll come fetch his clothes in a few days. I promise, Sawyer."

I give her a curt nod and take the washing from her. She follows me inside.

I set the clothes on the couch in the living room and flick the light switch up. The power is on. Thank God.

Pippin moves to the kitchen, putting the kettle to boil and I take a seat at the table when she puts a cup of coffee in my hand. It's just the way she used to make it when she was fifteen. The best coffee I ever tasted.

She sits across from me, playing with the threads of the dish towel. "Have you changed your mind about taking Ezra with us to see Faye?" she asks hopefully.

I sigh. "Yeah. We'll take him."

She jumps up from her seat and throws her arms around me, kissing me all over my face. "Thank you, Sawyer."

"Yeah, well, you complained to Ash about it, and he told me to take him."

She laughs. "Ash is the best."

The crunch of gravel outside indicates Asher's arrival. The laughter dies on Pippin's lips, and she starts chewing on them instead.

"Yeah? Well, go and tell him what Carlson's clothes are doing in your laundry."

If Pippin thought having me for a big brother was hard, it's much harder with Ash. He doesn't let her off the hook easily when it comes to Carlson.

Still, she rushes out of the kitchen to the front door. I follow with my coffee.

Ash catches her as she launches herself off the last step. Wrapping his arms around her, he holds her tight. "Hey baby," he calls out to me.

I lift my cup in greeting. "How was your day?" I ask.

He gives me the thumbs up, then picks Pippin up until her feet are dangling off the ground and he walks with her like that up the stairs. She won't let him go now, even when he's scolding her.

Which is the very first thing he does once we're all inside. She lets him go to make him a cup of coffee while he lets her have it.

"What did I say, Pip?"

"Don't let him back in here," she mumbles.

"Why don't you listen? How many times do Sawyer and I have to beat the piece of shit up before you'll realize what trash he is?"

"I didn't let him back this time," she says while she stirs his coffee.

"She washed his clothes," I say, pointing to the couch.

Ash stomps across the kitchen to the cupboard under the sink where Pippin keeps old plastic bags. He yanks one out and goes into the living room. Then, he fills the bag with all the men's clothes, ties it up and goes outside. There, he dumps the bag next to the post box.

Back inside, he tells Pippin, "If I hear that he ever came inside here, I'll move you out of this place kicking and screaming. I'm not kidding, Pip."

She nods. "I won't let him in. Promise."

"And what about child support? Is he giving you anything?"

She shakes her head.

Asher is fuming. "Can you believe that guy?" he asks me.

"Biggest cunt I ever met," I say. "Keep your voice down. Ezra is sleeping. Probably Reece too."

Ash's face softens, and Pippin looks between him and the bedroom. "Reece is here?" he asks.

"Yeah. Lying down with Ezra."

Ash goes into the bedroom and Pippin's eyes follow him.

"Carlson is trash, but he said something when he came here. I thought it was weird," she says, keeping her eyes on the bedroom door that Asher left ajar. "But now, I don't know."

I take my cup to the sink to rinse it, and Pippin's eyes follow me. "What did he say?"

"He said Deliah at the General Store asked him if you and Ash are getting a divorce."

"What? Why would she ask something like that?"

"Something about one of you cheating." She looks pointedly at the bedroom door.

My face reddens, and I'm caught. Pippin is too good for these things. I'll never get away with lying. "He's a . . . close friend," I say.

"Are you sure?"

I sigh. "He's more."

Pippin's face is instantly red with rage. "How could you do that to Asher?" she hisses.

"He knows."

"He knows ? Sawyer, what the hell? You're not like that—"

"Reece is . . . close to Ash too."

"What does that—"

Her eyes get big and then she slaps her hand over her mouth. " Both of you?"

Yeah, I feel like a kid caught with candy that doesn't belong to me. "Yeah, Pip."

She laughs. "You guys are nasty. I hope you know what you're doing."