Chapter 41

Asher

The end of May arrives, and with it, the frenzy that goes with closing off the school year. Reece has declined our request for him to live with us. Not yet, he said. He was still enjoying his freedom for the first time in his life. He wanted to be able to say, at the end of his life, that at one time he lived by himself and took care of himself.

Our bed feels empty these days. I didn't expect that, and Sawyer feels the same. We feel Reece's absence despite it being only two and a half months since he arrived.

The reality that Sawyer and I are now in a polyamorous relationship with Reece, has raised several questions in my mind. Questions I've set aside as the summer holidays approach. Sawyer is less inclined to make a big deal of them, but I can't stop them from eating away at me.

What will people say when they find out? Do I care?

What will the school say? The school gave me a hard time when they found out I was married to a man, all covertly, obviously. Six months in and I took the football team to the championships after ten years of not even qualifying. The kids loved me as if I'd been there for ten years and, despite themselves, my colleagues couldn't find a single thing to complain about.

But this? A polyamorous relationship? I doubt that would fly. Still, it's not illegal. Too little too late now, anyway.

On and on it goes, my thoughts tumbling inside my head and following me all the way to school the next morning. What if it doesn't work out, this arrangement of ours? What if Sawyer changes his mind? Now, after everything that's happened between us how could I let either of them go? If this all went to shit, I have a marriage to consider.

Then, the image of Sawyer kissing Reece blasts through my mind and smashes all my doubts and fears to smithereens. Sawyer rarely wants for anything in life, but when he does, it's usually a forever kind of thing. So, I trust this process. They are here and they are mine. Their growing feelings for each other gives me the confidence to believe that this can work. It will. It must. It will.

We'll love each other and we'll fuck each other, and we'll keep it a secret if we have to. Sawyer will love Reece and Reece will love Sawyer and they'll find safety in each other. We'll respect what we've found together, and I'll love them both like I promised – Reece when we were boys, and Sawyer when I married him.

Abdul is arguing with Gerald when I enter the teacher's lounge.

Abdul tells Gerald that come the new school year in September, yanking kids out of his English class for impromptu rehearsals isn't going to fly. Gerald agrees, but he's the biggest liar on the planet. Abdul reprimands him anyway.

"Cameron," Abdul says. "Great. You're in. Tell this bird over here that his productions can't affect the kids' grades and it's selfish to demand so much of their time when they're so stretched already."

I shake my head, setting my lunch bag down on the chair next to me, before heading to the coffee machine, grabbing a mug from the shelf on my way.

"We're a school that values the students' time, right?" Abdul continues.

"We're also a school built on respect and reputation, Abdul," Gerald says. "Think about how bad it will look when we give less than stellar performances."

"Yeah, well, don't practice on my time," Abdul grumbles.

"You know what," Gerald says, "I'm just trying to uphold the school's reputation. Cameron brings home the championship trophy and I put on Broadway-worthy shows. That's how it works."

I continue to ignore their attempts to bring me into their disagreement. They both know not to involve me in their love-hate relationship. Not when it comes to rehearsal schedules and not when they have their religious squabbles. But what's this about upholding the school's reputation?

What about teachers who want a husband and a lover? When Sawyer asked me to bring Reece into our marriage, our bed, I didn't think about things like my employer's reputation. Not much, anyway.

I fucked my lover while my husband whispered in my ear to fuck him more and fuck him harder. I'll bet no one will care about a less-than-stellar Annie production if they found out their football coach was sleeping with not just one man, but two.

I pour coffee into a mug and take a sip, reminding myself that Sawyer and I live so far out in the woods no one will notice Reece's comings and goings. And at the woodlot, he's nothing more than Sawyer's co-worker who gets a lift with him every other day.

"It's the last day of school. We don't have the brain cells for this," I say, offering them each a piece of apple pie from the container Sawyer packed this morning. "Can we talk about something else?"

Gerald launches into it. Apparently, Laura, the chemistry teacher, decided to have an elective C-section next week because she's tired of being pregnant. Principal Watson's daughter also had a baby. They named her Astrid. She weighed nine pounds and six ounces. Blue eyes like Watson.

I can't wait for summer vacation. I need a break from Gerald.

At the end of the day, Principal Watson passes by the now-empty gym. He sticks his head inside. "You got a minute, Cameron?" he asks.

"Sure." I zip up my bag and stand, slinging it over my shoulder.

Principal Watson hikes up his pants. His face is pinched, like he's in pain. He's a good guy. Just not someone you can depend on if you ever needed a friend. A little spineless, but mostly harmless.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, yeah."

Then, he looks at me guiltily. I laugh. "Spit it out, Principal Watson. What's on your mind? You worried about the championships? Spring practice went great. Summer coaching is all set up. We'll be fine."

He shakes his head quickly. "No, no. Nothing like that. I know you have everything under control."

"What is it then?"

"Well. You know this is a small town, right, Cameron?"

"Yeah?" What the fuck is this all about?

"And we look out for each other, right?"

"Of course." My heart gives just a little extra thump.

"And if I know something then you'd expect me to be honest, right?"

"What's this about, Principal Watson?"

"Well, you remember Deliah, right?"

I almost roll my eyes. Everyone knows Deliah. "Yeah, of course."

"She works over at the General Store."

"I know."

"Anyway, just last week I was over there for a few things. Couldn't understand a thing on the list my wife gave me, so she took me under her wing and helped me out."

"Okay."

"And then suddenly she's telling me she saw Sawyer come in a few weeks prior."

"Uh-huh."

"And – and – you know, Cameron. We like you over here, and I'm sure it's nothing. But I gotta tell the truth, right?"

"Right."

"Anyway, I don't know how to tell you this, Cameron. But according to Deliah, Sawyer came into the store with someone. A man ."

Honestly, I don't know if I should pretend to be as shocked as he is, or if I should just play it cool. But it doesn't matter. Principal Watson isn't interested in a reaction from me. He's only interested in telling his sensational story.

"Not someone we know from around here," he says.

"Oh."

"Yeah. So, I told Deliah that it wasn't any of our business, but I figured if Sawyer is having temptations, you'd better reel him in fast. I wanted to call you up last week but I thought, you know, I didn't want to disturb you and everything."

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know." And because that non-reaction is coming out as suspicious, I add, "Uh, well. I know he has a new co-worker. Maybe they went to get lunch or something."

Principal Watson gives me a long look. "Yeah. She said something about milk and peanut butter. So, you know the person?"

"Yes," I say carefully. "Old friend, working together now."

He laughs suddenly. "See? I knew it. I told Deliah the same thing. Must be a mutual friend of theirs. Anyway, at least you know now that I'll always have your back. Even if it's about Sawyer."

I laugh too, but, fuck this is uncomfortable.

I'm just glad it's only Principal Watson trying to save my marriage.