Chapter 25

Reece

I don't think this is happening. This is a dream. An incredible, unbelievable dream I'm not allowed to have.

Yet, Sawyer's mouth on mine is as real as the words sinking into my ear as they fall from Asher's lips. As real as the fact that I am sucking inside Sawyer's mouth like my life's essence may be found inside the warmth there. I don't know how this is possible, but my body is not confused, working entirely without the periodic flashes of logic slicing through my brain: that this shouldn't be happening. That it's impossible that I'm kissing Asher's husband, like I've imagined so many times before. And that only a few seconds ago, my lips were on Asher.

"We think about you when we're fucking," Asher whispers into my ear. I groan, leaning back into him, pressing against his chest while the front of my body is pressed to Sawyers. "We think about what you'd feel like between us. We imagine taking turns with you."

My dick digs into Sawyer's hip. If Ash keeps this up I'm going to come. This is fucking glorious.

"You taste so fucking good. I knew you'd taste like this," Sawyer whispers into my mouth.

I moan as I deepen the kiss again. Asher's hand slinks around my middle between me and Sawyer, and presses into my lower stomach. While I tongue fuck his husband, Asher sucks on the skin at the side of my neck. That will leave marks, and I have a vague appreciation for that, because at least there'll be evidence that this really happened.

"Reece, love," Asher whispers behind me. "Sawyer is my life. I can never give him up. Not for anything in this world."

I hear the unspoken words clearly. Not even for you . But those words don't hurt like they would have at another time. Now, his words are an invitation for more than I ever dreamed of. I never thought I would want anything more than having Asher back but here, in this moment, there is something more. In this moment, I want Asher . . . and Sawyer.

"He's so beautiful. His heart, so soft. He's loyal and precious, and he'll do anything for the ones he loves. I love him so much."

There are so many things I want to tell Asher. How I believe every word he's whispering to me right now. How much I want to be right here where I am, between them, hidden inside them. Their marriage, their love, is everything I've ever dreamed of having.

But the taste of Sawyer's mouth is too much for me to offer Asher any words. The scrape of his scruff against my skin when he turns his face to rub his cheek against mine, before bringing his mouth back to mine, is more than I can bear. I groan loudly, shamelessly. Pulling my mouth away from Sawyer's, and with his face between my palms, I bring his cheek back to mine. And there, I rub the side of my face against that prickliness of his. Sawyer gives a loud exhale, like he knows what I want. He rubs his face against mine. It scrapes and it burns, and it makes me want more and more and more. He brings his cheek to my mouth, rubbing gently over my lips. I catch the skin between my lips, sucking hard and unable to breathe.

"Is that good, beautiful?" Asher murmurs against my neck. His hand comes around my throat, squeezing, and I almost die from excitement.

"Y-yes," I groan and stammer against Sawyer's cheek. I want to suck this man's whole fucking face.

"I want to give you more, Reece," Asher whispers. "You always asked me for more."

More, please, sir. Give me more. "Fuck," I gasp, my throat working against Asher's grip.

"This is the only way I can give you more."

"Do you want more?" Sawyer whispers against my lips.

I think I'm nodding because the answer is yes, yes, yes. More and more, and everything. But I'm distracted because he's slowing us down, and I don't want to slow down. He lifts his head, bringing our kiss to an end. Behind me, Asher loosens his grip. I hate it, and I want to tell him so. But I'm also scared. So scared that this is a sick joke. A beautiful dream I'm waking up from, and I don't want to wake up.

I press my forehead to Sawyer's shoulder while I catch my breath, unsure of what to do next. It must have been only a few seconds, but it feels longer than that before I'm able to raise my head again.

My eyes connect with Sawyers. His expression is earnest. Worried, even. Asher moves into my line of sight. He looks the same – unsure, worried.

"You're married," I whisper. "How can this be?" Because they are perfect together, as they are. And what do I have that they could possibly want? What do I have that I could give them?

"It was all my fault," Sawyer says, his expression still guarded. He's assessing the situation, and maybe it's good that he does that, because I can't think straight.

I frown. "H–how?"

"Should we move to the living room?" Asher asks with a press of his lips to my temple. I'm still a little dumbstruck, even if I now have a very clear understanding of what's going on.

Sawyer takes my hand, lacing his fingers between mine and leads me to the living room. Asher is close behind me. I don't want to be too far away from him. Or Sawyer. Their close proximity is the only thing keeping me together right now.

Asher takes the wingback. Sawyer leads me to the couch. We sink into it, sitting close enough that our outer thighs press against each other. My hand is still captured in his, and this moment feels like a perfect moment. So perfect, it's terrifying.

"Do you feel ambushed?" Asher asks. A fair amount of discomfort envelopes the room, and rightfully so. How can we make sense of this if we don't also feel the strangeness of it?

"Yes," I say. Then, "No." And then, "I mean, it's not something I was ever expecting but – but I'm not . . . well, I'm not running for the hills."

"I'm sorry it happened that way," Sawyer says. "We agreed that Ash would be the one to bring it up because you both have history."

"I didn't know how to do it," Asher says.

"I don't mind the way . . ." I laugh lightly. This is the best fucked-up shit I've ever encountered. "I don't mind the way you told me."

Asher grins, and his face lights up the way it used to when we were younger. When we were boys and not yet men, but we'd loved as if we were immortal gods. So free and confident. He's beautiful. Asher is so beautiful, I can't bear it.

Next to me, Sawyer laughs lightly. "Are you sure?"

It's like looking at Sawyer for the first time all over again. A lot of people wish they could experience something for the first time again. That first feeling of experiencing something profound and amazing can never be beaten. Yet, here I am experiencing, all over again, the feelings of the first time I ever laid my eyes on him.

"I'm sure," I tell him.

There is a silence and the awkwardness persists because – where to from here? What exactly do they want? Those questions can't be answered with kisses and electrifying touches. Those questions need answers with words. And words seem to be in short supply right now.

Asher takes control of the conversation. "We've never explored or even contemplated the idea of opening our marriage up like this, Reece. But you've – you've become special to Sawyer. And because of that, I'm able to allow myself to think about you as more than a love that I lost."

"You told me you'll always love Asher," Sawyer says. "Could you love him like this?" His eyes search my face. He's being brave, but it's obvious what his concerns are. Do I want this with him too? "You don't have to answer now. It's a big deal. You'll have to think about it. And whatever you decide, it doesn't mean our friendship has to end."

I laugh. This is crazy in the very best way I could have ever imagined. "Sawyer, you're offering me a chance to be with Asher again in all the ways I've dreamed about these last ten years. And you're offering me a chance to be with you, someone completely new, something I've never had. Do you not see how I can't lose in this situation?"

He smiles widely, and my God, he's gorgeous. "So, it's not an immediate No ?"

I shake my head. It's definitely not a no. In fact, it's so much a yes that I'm slightly embarrassed by my eagerness.

"Will you think about it, then?" Asher says.

"I don't need to think about it," I reply.

Sawyer places his fingers under my chin and turns my face to him. "Yes, you do."

I love the authority in his voice. It's hard to tell what the dynamic is between the two of them. They both seem so strong. But also soft. Where would I fit into such a dynamic? I don't have much to bring to this arrangement. Arrangement? Is that what this is?

"Okay," I say. My face is hot. I can't keep the blushes away.

"Can we see you again soon? To talk more about it?" Asher asks.

I nod.

He comes over to the couch to sit on the other side of me. "I think I like the way this evening turned out," he says, cupping my cheek in his palm. "I've missed you, Reece," he says with so much gentleness I move on instinct. Throwing my arms around him, I pull him tightly against me. Then, I shift, pressing my body against Sawyer, and, dropping one arm, I reach back and pull his arm around my waist. The newness of his body against mine makes me wild for what all of this means. How is this possible?

***

Leaving their home is hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be when I arrived here this evening. Asher walks me to the door while Sawyer gets his keys. At the threshold, he kisses Asher. My cock hardens watching them. "I'll see you in a bit," he tells him. "I'll take your car so I can fill up on gas for you for the week."

"Thank you," Asher says.

Watching them move into their domestic roles, I should feel like an outsider. Instead, right now, I feel like I belong right here with them.

Ash turns to me. Then, while it still blows my mind that this is happening, he drops his head and kisses me deeply. Like a lover saying a temporary goodbye. I latch onto his lips, returning his kiss, and fueling it with the thought that Sawyer is standing right next to me.

We break apart, and Asher comes back for a light press of his lips to mine. "Good night, love. I'll see you soon."

"Good night, Ash," I whisper.

The ride back to my apartment is short, and I wish I lived farther away so I could be with Sawyer longer.

"What are you thinking?" Sawyer asks once we're off the dirt road.

"When did it start for you?" I ask.

He glances over at me with a smile. "When I found you in my living room the first time, and my first thought was how beautiful Asher's ex-boyfriend is."

"It was right from the start for me too," I admit. "I couldn't believe Asher had chosen a husband so well. I felt so unworthy."

"You're not unworthy," he says.

"I'm not much to write home about. You might hate me after a few months."

He smiles. "We'll see, but I doubt it."

We reach my apartment block too soon. Sawyer gets out of the car and meets me at the hood. We walk close to each other, our shoulders touching sometimes. At my front door, I'm not sure if I should invite him in. He saves me from the dilemma.

"I'll leave you here," he says. "I wanna get to the gas station."

"Will you let me know when you're home?" I ask, surprising myself with the confidence in my voice.

Sawyer lifts his hand to brush his thumb across my parted lips. "Yes."

Then, he leans in and kisses me gently. "I can't believe I'm fucking kissing you," he murmurs.

I kiss him back. "Me either." Then, being brave, I ask, "What are you and Ash going to do the rest of the night?"

He pulls me into his arms, pressing his body to mine. "Oh, Reece. What the fuck do you think we're going to be doing?"

I groan into our kiss, the thought of them having sex and fantasizing about me hardening my cock and my body is burning again.

"Tell me with words. Will you think about me?" I ask, turned on in a way I've never been before.

"Fuck, sweetheart. Yes. We'll be thinking about you when we fuck tonight."

The kiss becomes a frenzy right there outside my door, and thank God my apartment is on the first floor and faces away from the town. No one will see us. I'm lost, so lost in his mouth, groaning when the trimmed hair near his mouth pricks my skin. My palm rubs his cheek while we kiss, and I can't help myself. I tilt my face and rub my cheek against his. "I love this so much," I whisper.

His chest, pressing against mine, vibrates with a moan, and then I can't stop. "I want to feel this between my thighs," I say, my voice shaking with my need for him.

"Fuck, sweetheart. Yes. Soon. I fucking promise." He, once again, slows us down, and I have to let him because he needs to get to the gas station. "If you still feel this way tomorrow, we won't have to fantasize about you much longer," he whispers.

"Okay." I let him go reluctantly.

"Think about us when you use that purple monster tonight," he says. And then, with a last kiss to my neck, he leaves.