3. Mai

Chapter three

Mai

M aybe I just had to start small. Make a decision to signal that this wasn't Jem's, Hayley's, or Oliver's Pack anymore. That there was a new way of doing things, even if I didn't know exactly what that was yet. Though there was one thing that I'd been thinking about for a while.

"The walls around the compound," I interrupted. "I want them gone."

Ryan stiffened, surprise flickering across his features. "What do you mean, gone?"

I straightened in my seat. "I mean demolished, taken down completely. No more gates and barriers separating us from the rest of the Pack."

Understanding dawned on Sam's face. "You want to show unity. Bringing the Pack together, instead of the leaders being behind closed walls."

"Yes, exactly. I don't want to be locked away in the big house separate from everyone else. If we're going to be the Alphas of this Pack, we need to be among our people. "

We all looked at Ryan.

"It's an interesting idea..." he began slowly. "But those walls have kept previous Alphas safe for generations. It's a place where the whole Pack can run to if we come under attack. Perhaps we should take more time to think this through."

I sat up straighter to meet Ryan's gaze head-on. "It's never been used as a safe haven for the Pack, and it didn't keep Jem safe. All it has done has created a barrier between the Alphas and the enforcers and the rest of the Pack. The walls need to come down. We need to show everyone that we are not like the other Alphas. This is a new start. For the whole Pack."

Sam cocked his head to one side. "There are definitely pros and cons to weigh. But it could be a powerful symbol to start off your reign."

Ryan frowned. I knew he was picturing worst-case scenarios—assassins breaching our home, other Packs slipping past to attack at night. But his over-protectiveness couldn't rule every decision we made as Alphas.

"Ryan," I said firmly. "This is important."

He let out a breath, his shoulders losing some of their rigidity. "Alright. We'll take down the walls."

I blinked. Ryan agreeing to one of my ideas this quickly was practically unheard of.

"But we double the guards," he stipulated. "And I want Derek to do a full security assessment before any demolition starts."

"Deal," I agreed, before he could change his mind.

"I'll start the planning and logistics," Derek said briskly, making a note on his phone. "What's next? "

Next was figuring out how the hell to shut down the spread of ripple, investigating the potential origins of the drug shipments and who could be behind them.

And then there was the question of my brother Jem, and whether Brock's claim that he was alive had any truth to it. We'd jumped into the deep end, essentially fighting a war on two fronts.

"Ronnie thinks he's being framed as the supplier of ripple in the region. He's asked us to look into it," said Ryan.

"And you agreed?" Mason growled, as he twirled a pen through his fingers.

Mason was not a big fan of Ronnie's. Ronnie had been Shya's contact, and he'd dropped some hints that he'd like to be much more. It pissed Mason off to no end. I suspected that Shya was Mason's fated mate, but he was taking it extra slow due to Tristan gaslighting Shya for months. Tristan, like Brock, was still out there and everyone thought Tristan still had plans to make Shya his.

"He cashed in his favor. Plus, it's a new lead on ripple. We'd be idiots to ignore it," Ryan replied calmly, staring his brother down. Mason lowered his eyes and nodded.

Derek leaned forward. "I'll put some feelers out. If someone is trying to frame Ronnie as a ripple supplier, we'll catch whispers of it."

"What about Jem?" I asked, a little hesitantly. "Has anyone found anything?"

Mason and Sam exchanged an uneasy glance. "We're chasing down every rumor," Sam assured me. "But so far, nothing concrete. If Brock has him, no-one knows about it."

"Someone must. Have you talked to Brock's enforcers? The ones who were here that night when Hayley…" I paused, unable to continue that thought. "What do they say happened to Jem's body?"

"They're talking, but it's not making much sense. Two of them took Jem's body to the cage room and locked him in a cage on Brock's orders. Brock apparently went to see the body later that night—Paulo, one of the enforcers, saw Brock go into the room at midnight. He came out again at two. When Paulo was passing the cage room the next morning on his way out, the door was open, but there was nothing there. No-one saw what happened to Jem's body. No-one knows anything."

"Apart from Brock."

"Apart from Brock," Derek confirmed, as he turned to face me. "Mai, you gotta know, if any of us had thought for a second that Jem wasn't dead, we'd have gotten him out of there, or we'd have died next to him."

I did know that. They loved Jem as much as I did.

"You think he's dead? That Brock's fucking with us?"

He hesitated before replying. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

Ryan's phone rang. "I have to take this." He kissed the end of my nose, then picked up his phone and left the room.

Sam looked at me. "Brock will call again. He knows there is no way we'd nominate him without proof of what he's saying. He'll call and we'll work out if he really has Jem or not."

I tried not to let the crushing disappointment show on my face. But Sam seemed to sense it, anyway .

"We'll keep digging, too. We have allies across the territory on the lookout. Someone's bound to turn up a real lead sooner or later."

We didn't have later though. We had to nominate someone for the Wolf Council in four days, and if I had to choose Brock so I could get Jem back, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I'd just have to convince Ryan it was the right thing to do.

Sam glanced toward the door and then back at me. "How are you holding up? How are things with Ryan? You guys settling in okay?"

I leaned back in my chair. "It'll take some getting used to, this whole Alpha gig."

Sam nodded. "And things with Ryan, all going okay?" his tone was casual, but Sam kept glancing at the door where Ryan had gone to take his call.

"What's going on, Sam? What are you worried about?"

He was silent for a moment. Mason shifted uncomfortably; Derek crossed his arms, a glower on his face, but he didn't say anything either.

"Well?"

"You have to understand that Ryan and his wolf were forged to be Alphas. After our mom died, I know you know that Dad drank and checked out on all dad duties. He disappeared for days on end. There was no money, no food; we were all slowly starving, and at risk of losing our house. Ryan tried to bring him back to us, to cure him of the bottle, to save him, but Dad didn't want to be saved and he died not long after. Ryan has never forgiven himself for that, for failing to save Dad. And then it all fell on Ryan. He didn't have to, he could have dumped us in the forest, made it on his own, but he chose to stay and look after us. He used to get up at three a.m., Shift, and head out to find us food. Oliver had decreed the year before that hunting in the fifteen miles around Three Rivers was reserved for him and his enforcers. They killed any they caught or suspected of hunting there. Ryan had to range further and further to find us food. He usually managed a rabbit or two. It didn't fill our bellies, but it made a dent, and Jem helped out when he could.

"Then Digit found Ryan when he was rooting through the trash cans behind the school. Digit was an enforcer, and what Digit wanted, Digit got. He made Ryan work for him; said if he didn't, then Digit would start paying visits to our house at night. That he'd had an eye on Ryan's brothers for a while, that he liked little boys and their innocent faces, and if Ryan wanted to keep Digit's eye off us, then Ryan had better do what he was told."

I recoiled. I remembered Digit, remembered how everyone avoided him, how he took what he wanted from all the stores in town, never paying for anything. Everyone was scared of him and what he would do if you drew his attention.

"Did he…?" I didn't know how to ask Sam if Digit came to visit their house.

Sam shook his head. "We were some of the lucky ones. We had Ryan, and he made sure Digit stayed away."

I sighed in relief.

"The work from Digit was irregular at first, but Ryan was good at it and Digit was soon throwing jobs at Ryan. Digit's main problem was that he was lazy as fuck. He'd made it as an enforcer and thought that meant everyone and their aunt Louise should lick his fucking shoes. Anyone disrespected him? He sent Ryan to show them the error of their ways. Someone owed him money, and anyone could owe Digit money, you just had to look at him the wrong way and he'd fine you a hundred dollars, and he sent Ryan to collect. And if Oliver ordered Digit to actually get off his ass and do something, if he could get away with it, he'd send Ryan instead. Ryan hated it, hated the things he did to the people Digit sent him after, but for all his faults, and there were a fuckload, Digit paid money. It meant we finally had food on the table, finally had clothes that fit and shoes on our feet. It meant the house was safe, and we weren't about to get kicked out onto the streets. It changed Ryan, though."

My heart ached for Ryan and the things he must have seen, and the things he must have done to keep his brothers safe. "I never knew."

"He didn't want you to. He didn't want any of us to know. Ryan quit the day Jem defeated Brock's father and became Beta. Ryan became an enforcer to watch Jem's back, but it also meant he now had a steady paycheck coming in. Not that Digit took it well, but Ryan was an enforcer too and equal to him in the hierarchy." Sam sighed, glancing at his brothers. "It took Ryan two months to realize that I'd started working for Digit instead."

"You?"

Sam nodded. "I was young, saw Ryan had cash in his pocket and I wanted some of that. I had dreams of being the bad-ass enforcer my brother was, and I thought running jobs for Digit would be the first step."

"What happened?"

"Digit started to pay me more attention. A touch here, a squeeze there. I didn't like it, or how it made me feel. I wanted out but didn't know how to do it. Then Digit started to siphon off guns from Oliver's deals. He was selling on the side, and I became his favorite for running those guns to his buyers outside the Pack. One night, a deal went bad. I managed to escape, but Digit was not the forgiving type. By the time I made it home, my arm was broken in four places, and I had a face that was bluer than the Nauru flag. Ryan scented my blood, found me in the bathroom, and made me tell him everything."

I blinked slowly. "What did Ryan do?" I already knew. I'd remembered what had happened to Digit, but I wanted to hear it from Sam.

"Ryan took me with him. He said he didn't want me to have nightmares about Digit. We went to his house, and Digit laughed when Ryan confronted him. Said if he couldn't have Ryan as his grunt, he'd take his brothers, in each and every way, one by one. Digit said he was going to get Oliver to sign off on us working for him. I have no doubt, Mai, none at all, that Oliver would have agreed."

"What did Ryan do?" I repeated.

Sam glanced at the door again before continuing. "Digit was the first person Ryan killed. It was a brutal fight, but Ryan was efficient, methodical. Digit was a threat to us, so Digit had to die. After, there wasn't much left of Digit." He looked away and paused for a moment. "Ryan covered it up. Made sure it couldn't be traced back to any of us."

Oh, my beautiful Ryan. I wanted to go to him, to hug him for the loss of his innocence, for all the things he'd been through. I wanted to take it all away.

"Ryan always had a strong protective streak, but after that it went into overdrive. If he viewed you as his—his brothers, his family, his mate—he would do anything, and I mean anything, Mai, to ensure that you were safe, that he didn't lose any of us the way he lost Dad. Then…"

"Then I ran away," I finished for him. "He lost me. For four years."

Sam nodded. "He was a shell of himself after that. Ryan threw himself into making sure we were looked after, that Jem was secure in his position and then he went searching for you. He'd be gone months at a time, looking for you, but he always came back empty-handed."

"I got good at running and hiding," I murmured.

"Mai," Sam glanced at his brothers, "we want you to understand that Ryan's protective instinct is more pronounced than usual for a werewolf. Even more than for an Alpha. He is driven to do anything to protect those he loves, and for years you have been the sole object of his obsession. Now that he has you, it might calm down."

"But it might not?"

Sam wiggled his hand in a maybe, maybe not gesture. "With all the threats you've faced since you've been back, things might be amplified instead."

Why was he telling me this? My eyes widened. "He won't hurt me." My voice was firm, angry that Sam might even think it.

"He would never hurt you, Mai," Sam agreed. "We all know that. But we don't know how he's going to react. We just want to you to be prepared."