Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

S amantha,

I do not know how to write this. I have never truly had to engage in correspondence before, as you know. I hope that your letter is at least better than mine. I also hope that you are well and that Father is not being too insufferable.

I am writing to you because I need you. I do not know if you have been expecting a lovely letter filled with many reasons why I am so happy and enjoying marital bliss, but that is not what this is. The truth is, I need to see you because I cannot stand this. It began well, but now… Well, I shall tell you when you arrive. Truly, it is not life or death or anything of the sort, but I miss my sister.

We shall have a carriage sent to you, so there is no need to barter with Father. Do not worry about leaving him alone during your stay. If he cannot take care of himself for a few days, then that is his own problem. Please come.

I shall see you soon,

Diana.

There was an urgency to her words, but Diana felt completely collected as she wrote them. She was calm, her quill scratching across the parchment before being gently placed beside it. Reading her own words, she wondered if her sister would panic at all upon reading it, but she chose to believe instead that Samantha would open it, roll her eyes at her older sister's dramatics, then prepare for her visit. She hoped that it would be like that, at least.

The letter was sent, and then she had to turn her attention to more pressing matters. Her sister would arrive in a week, meaning that she had a week to prepare everything.

Fortunately, her husband had truly taken to avoiding her completely and had left the household early that morning. She did not know where he had gone, and she did not much care either. His life was his own, meaning she was granted the same power. She summoned a few maids, who came into the room seemingly concerned for her.

"Are we in trouble, Your Grace?" one asked.

"Not at all." Diana smiled. "On the contrary, I require your help. The three of you, I have noticed, are the most detailed in your work. That is precisely what I shall need for the next few days if that is alright with you."

"Of course, Your Grace." The second one nodded. "We are happy to do anything for you."

"In which case," Diana said, searching around the desk for a list before finding it and holding it out to them, "I shall need the three of you to locate these items. You may take the entire day if you wish. I want only the best, and so money counts for naught. If there is anything missing, return with what you can find and tell me so that I know what will be missing at first."

"What are you planning to do, Your Grace?"

"We shall be completely redecorating the house, from top to bottom. The Duke has told me I can, and at last, I believe it to be a perfect time."

The three maids had wide eyes, and she raised an eyebrow at them.

"Is it strange that I wish to do this?" she asked.

"Not at all," the first maid said quickly. "It is just that, well, it was the late Duke who chose all of this. It has been this way for years. It shall be quite the change, I must say."

"Well, I think it is time for change. It is time to forget about the past, though I am more than happy to keep anything that yourselves or the late Duke and Duchess were particularly attached to. I only truly wish to make this a home that I live in, rather than one I am visiting."

"Of course, Your Grace."

They left with the list, and Diana set about her mission for the day. She would be cleaning out that dreaded library.

Part of her wanted to do it out of spite, but she had to admit that it would be nice to do something like that and have Colin see it and forget all about what had happened. He had said that it was not his library, but it was not going to belong to anyone else, so it was neither his or hers, and they deserved a nice place to keep their books.

She stepped gingerly inside, immediately having to brush a cobweb from her gown as she entered. The inside was dusty, and she was well aware that there were spiders among other insects, but she ignored that fact. She wanted to get in and get her job done before Colin returned, so she had to forget any fears she had.

Diana wondered if she was doing the right thing each and every time she heard someone downstairs and froze, thinking Colin had returned, only to continue when she was sure it was not him. She knew that, if he saw her there, he would be furious with her, but she did not care. She could not care. She had to have something for herself, and this was what it would be.

By the afternoon, Diana was exhausted, but the room was clean. She had worked tirelessly all day, but now she could take a seat and read for a while. She closed the door, sliding the latch across in the event that the Duke opened the door to look for her, not that she thought he would. He had never opened the door, clearly, and so he would not do so just to find someone that he was actively avoiding.

"How was your day?" Colin asked her at dinner that night.

It was clearly an attempt at making peace, and as much as Diana wanted to continue until her point was proven, she had to admit that she had missed him being kind to her.

"It was nice enough," she replied. "And yours?"

"I had a very enjoyable day. I spent it down in the village. I've been thinking about making a link with a farmer for pork, now that we are living here, and I met with one that has a steady enough supply that we can use him."

"That sounds good."

"I only wanted to run it by you before I do it."

She wanted to make some sort of comment, but she bit her tongue. The amiability between them was forced, but it was safe, and she did not want to risk losing that.

"It would be a wonderful thing to do." She nodded. "Not only for us, but the contract given to the farmer shall have him set for the year. Might we do the same for our milk and cheese, do you think?"

"We can certainly look into it."

The conversation ended there, with the two of them nodding about it, and dinner passed in silence. It was a nicer silence than the one that had descended upon the house since their dispute, but it was still not the sweet type that had been between them before. Diana did not want to, but she found herself missing it a great deal.

The following day, Colin disappeared before breakfast again, having not followed her to bed once more. She had wanted to ask him why, but she did not, as she already knew the reason. He was still angry with her, or at least he was not happy enough with her to stay in her room, which was perfectly fine by her.

She had found a room of her own to keep from him.

Now cleaned, the library was all set to be redecorated. Diana only made simple changes at first—a lamp, the candles, and the deer head on the wall. She had a maid hide it away so that the Duke would not see it and make the connection as to where it had come from.

"Miss Thornton," she asked at lunch, "might you have the key to the library?"

"The library?" Miss Thornton echoed. "Goodness, has that room not caused enough trouble already?"

"That is precisely why I shall need the key," Diana explained. "I am gathering them and handing them to the Duke this weekend. I do not wish to risk angering him again."

"He is not angry with you," Miss Thornton sighed. "He seemed upset more than anything, but he does not blame you."

"Has he spoken to you about it?"

"No, of course not, but I have known him since he was a boy. If he was angry, it would be for the first time. He does not have it in him to have any anger towards a person, it is simply not his nature."

"I had thought the same thing."

"Then you must go back to thinking that way. It may seem like this terrible, horrible thing now, but the two of you shall come to an agreement about all of it."

"Well, as you know what has happened?—"

"Because I know everything." Miss Thornton smirked, a glint in her eyes.

"Yes." Diana nodded. "I want to know what you think about it."

"I think you are both acting like children." Miss Thornton laughed. "I do not mean it in a bad way, though. The two of you, you are young. This is to be expected, especially in the early days of a marriage, where the two of you hardly know each other at all."

"But who is in the wrong? Is your not telling me your way of saying you think it is me? Because you can tell me if you do. I shall not have you fired if that is what you are worried about."

"This is precisely what I mean. You are waiting for me to be cruel to you, even though you should not expect it, and if the Duke were here, he would think that I am trying to find out for myself why he refuses to use the blasted room. The two of you need to look at yourselves and realize that the world is not out to get you. You asked me for my thoughts, and that is what I think."

"I see." Diana nodded. "I do apologize. I do not mean to sound like a child."

"Your Grace, for all intents and purposes, you are still a child."

"I am five and twenty!"

"And I am five and sixty, so you will do well to heed my advice. You will be fine, as will the Duke, but you must learn to listen. There is so much more out there than what you know, and so you must think of the experiences of others before you speak. If you do that, then the rest will become quite easy. You shall see."

"I hope so, because I cannot continue like this."

"You will not have to. All will be resolved in time, and you and the Duke shall be back to normal, I assure you. Now, here is the key to the library. Be sure to hand it to the Duke soon, or else he might think that you are doing something that you should not be."

Miss Thornton handed her a key, but it felt like it was on fire in her hand. Diana felt her skin burning as she held it, and she wanted to throw it away so that nobody would know that she had done anything. Once again, she had gone against her husband's wishes only to feel incredible guilt afterwards, but this time she did not want to tell him. She wanted to go to her new sanctuary, where nobody would dare interrupt her, and read.

So that is what she did.

Before dinner, she went to her room and slid the key into a book to hide it. Her library could not be taken away from her a second time, not now that she had changed things to her own tastes.

"The house certainly feels different," Colin said gently as they ate.

"Do you dislike it?"

"Not at all. It is about time that things changed here, even if it is only wallpaper and furnishings."

"It is certainly fresher now, not that there was anything wrong with how it was."

"Sometimes even if there is nothing wrong, it is still good to change things. For example, I took your advice and found a new supplier for our milk and cheese in the village. I told him that you asked specifically, so you can rest assured that the local opinion of you shall only be improving."

"Oh," she said breathily, her cheeks flaming. "Thank you. That is so kind of you, but there was no need to give me credit for it."

"It was your idea. There is no pain in it for me to tell others that you have good ideas."

"No, I suppose not. What else did you do today?"

"I took some time by the lake. I needed some time to myself with no other voices or the bustling of servants. A lot has happened of late, as you know."

"I do. I did something similar. You know, I sat down this afternoon and did not think for an entire half an hour."

"Good. It must have been good for you to stop thinking for a while. You certainly seem calmer."

She was not, of course. She was sitting across from her husband, knowing that she was keeping a secret from him, one that would enrage him completely if he found out the truth, and all she could do was smile and talk and eat her dinner.

"I think it has all simply been too much of late," she sighed. "I must also think on the matter of my brother. He must be arriving soon enough to meet my father, and I wonder whether or not it might be wise to meet him myself."

"If you do not wish to, there is no need."

"And what if he is simply some con artist? He might be pretending to be a part of our family to gain access to our estate."

"Surely, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, if he were to attempt to steal away an estate, he would have chosen a larger one?"

"I suppose so. Not only that, but it was his mother who spoke with my father. Do you see? Everything happening has made it impossible to think of late."

"That is perfectly fine. You and I will navigate all of this."

"And I forgot to tell you. I have invited Samantha to stay for a while. I knew that she would not come unless I gave my express permission, and I miss her."

"Wonderful. You shall both enjoy that."

Their conversation continued for a while, and when they finished, Colin followed her to her room. It should have been a moment where her heart fluttered and made her excited at the prospect of him liking her once more.

Instead, the only thought in her mind was one of relief—the key was hidden.