Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

" A lright," Diana sighed as they approached the manor. "Now that I am here, and there is no possible way that I can turn back, you have to tell me something."

"Anything." Samantha nodded, positively buzzing.

"What is the real reason that we are here?"

Samantha blinked at her. "To enjoy our evening, of course. What other motive could I possibly have?"

"I do not know, but you have been acting out of sorts all day, and it is not the jitters one has before a ball. It is far more extreme."

"Perhaps I am simply very excitable for no reason other than the fact that you and I will have a splendid evening."

"Sister, I know you better than anyone, and I know perfectly well that something is on your mind. Now, you can either tell me or have it stay with you all evening without release, and I know which of the two I would prefer."

"Alright, I will tell you, but you mustn't tell Father."

"And when have I ever done that? Look at him, he is already searching for the whiskey."

"Oh, heavens," the younger sister huffed. "I thought we might have succeeded completely."

"At least he has arrived like a decent human being. We might have an hour or so before we are chased away."

"Then that should be enough time."

"Enough time for what, exactly?"

"Well, you see, there is a professor here, and?—"

"Please do not tell me you wish to marry a professor of all things."

"What? No, of course not! No, I was simply hoping to meet with him and discuss something with him. I read one of his papers last week, and it has inspired me, save for the fact that there is a part I did not completely understand."

"And… And that is why you are like this?"

"I didn't think anyone would notice." Samantha grimaced slightly. "I ought to calm myself before I meet him. It would be most undignified to be in such a state when in front of a scholar. He will already think that I'm a fool."

"He will think no such thing. You are so intelligent, Samantha, anyone can see that."

"But it is nothing in comparison with gentlemen that attended university. Oh, could you imagine it, Di?"

"The thought has never once crossed my mind. I had other tasks at hand, such as preparing you for marriage, even though it appears that that is?—"

"The last thing on my mind, yes."

"Well, you wanted to attend this ball, and I have done my part and come along. Now, if you do not mind, I wish to receive all of the glares and speculation at once so that we might be done with it."

"As you wish!" Samantha grinned, giving her sister's arm a squeeze.

Samantha's enthusiasm was quite infectious, and had Diana felt even the smallest amount of desire to have been there that night, it may have passed on to her. However, she did not wish to be there, to play a game of pretend until she could go back to her life as a spinster.

After all, with nothing to lose, you can only ever win.

And as much as Diana had wanted to believe her sister, and that nobody would bat an eye about their presence, she knew that it would not be the case, and she was proven right the second they entered.

"Is that—no, it cannot be…"

"That is not the Winston sisters, is it? I thought they passed away?"

"No, though their poor mother did."

"A fire, wasn't it? Horrible."

"No, what is horrible is the beast of a gentleman that they call their father. You know, I heard that he trapped the late Countess inside on purpose."

Samantha seemed not to hear any of it, continuing to walk through the ballroom as if nothing was being said at all. Diana was fortunate that in the training of her younger sister, she had also learned a great deal of patience, because had she not, then she would have been responsible for the removal of her entire family.

"You mustn't speculate," another voice came. "Though I must admit, I had also heard that the young ladies had passed."

"Yes, their father abandoned them, and then whilst staying with their aunt, they caught fevers and never recovered."

"Well, here they are, alive and well. I suppose that shows you just how ridiculous gossip can be."

Diana would have been grateful for that last comment if it were not punctuated by laughter. It was as though they were treating her life as some hilarious anecdote, as if the entire point of their little pastime was to mock others. She hated it, and she especially hated that they would be getting through it unscathed.

She hated the ton . She hated the airs and graces and falseness of it all, but she adored her sister, so it would have to be alright. It would only be for one evening, and then Samantha could make contact with the professor and then everything could go back to the way it was, not that she particularly liked the way it was either.

"It is quite warm in here," she said with a falsely nonchalant tone.

"It is your nerves," Samantha replied. "I am not surprised, though I will say that I am astonished that you held your tongue. In fact, you keeping yourself quiet was the only reason I managed to do so myself."

"It was the same for me."

"Horrid old ladies," she scoffed. "And as for the gentlemen, I should think that when they can do anything they wish to, they would do so, rather than engaging in such ridiculousness. Why, if I were a man?—"

"Not here," Diana hissed. "Not now."

"But it is true. If men could simply spend their time doing all of the things that they could do, instead of passing judgment on women, then perhaps we might actually be able to accomplish more as a whole. Do you not agree?"

"Of course I do, but now is not the time for all of that. Not when this evening shall be difficult enough as it is."

"I suppose not. Are you alright? I know you have nerves and all, but you are pale."

"I think it is my corset. Tricky things to breathe in, are they not?"

"I hardly think it is that. Besides, perhaps if you wore one every day, as is expected of you, it might not trouble you so."

"Then perhaps I am truly going to catch a fever and pass away, just like that gentleman thought we had done."

"You are not in the slightest bit entertaining, I hope you know that."

"I rather see myself as a fool right now. Do not forget that I am here for you. I will not prevent you from having a wonderful evening, but beyond that, I will do what I must to endure this."

"You speak as if you are to be executed."

"Am I not?"

"Diana, I know that this is not your idea of fun and that you are being a wonderful sister in being here with me tonight, but would it be possible for you to at least try to enjoy yourself? It is a ball."

"I cannot enjoy myself, not when every member of the ton is scowling at us."

"And who are they? Why do you care what they think of us? Our postures are correct, we are pretty young ladies, and we are intelligent. Even if they do truly have an issue with either of us, it shows an awful lot more about themselves than it ever could us."

"Samantha, I know that you are right, but?—"

"Then do not argue. I can see the professor—he is just over there! Would you like to accompany me?"

"No, thank you," Diana replied, although she had to admit that some intelligent conversation was precisely what she needed at that moment. "It is your moment, and I would hate to intrude."

"Nonsense! I would love for you to speak with him too. It may even give me some credibility, prove that my family is not a complete lost cause."

"We are not lost causes!"

But they were. They were, and they knew it, and it seemed that the ton did too. They were shut-ins, motherless, and practically fatherless. In fact, fatherless would almost be preferable to the drunkard that they would be faced with when they found him. There was no amount of airs and graces that could excuse that, and sometimes Diana didn't know why she ever tried in the first place.

"Diana, you really are pale. Can I maybe fetch you a refreshment?"

"No, go and see that gentleman of yours, I insist. I will be right here when you are done."

"Are you quite sure?"

No, she was not. Not at all.

"Yes, of course, now go."

Even with the small laugh she had injected into her words, she knew that her sister didn't fully believe her, but either way, she turned and walked towards the professor, leaving her alone.

It was not terrible, being alone. Diana quite enjoyed it; it gave her time to think and dream, although as of late she had been thinking too much and dreaming too little. Besides aiding Samantha and helping run her household, there was hardly anything for her to do, so her free time was typically spent alone, in silence, thinking.

"Good evening, Miss," a voice came. "Is something wrong?"

She looked up to see a gentleman standing before her. In truth, the first thing that she noticed was the way his pale blue eyes stood out from his tanned complexion and mess of dark hair, but she couldn't tell herself that. He towered over her, though she had to admit that for the first time that evening, she did not feel at all threatened.

"Not at all," she said quickly, "I was simply going to go to the refreshments table."

"I wouldn't if I were you. The lemonade here tastes… well, it leaves a lot to be desired."

"Is it too sour? I hate it when lemonade is like that."

"Incredibly so. In fact, I am simply grateful that nobody had to bear witness to the face I made upon taking a sip. I do hope that that plant over there appreciates it more than I do."

"You did not!"

"Of course I did, why wouldn't I? I did not like it, and I am not going to stand here all evening holding a glass of lemonade that I am not going to drink. Is that what you would do?"

"Yes," she bluffed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I am to dance."

"Are you?" He eyed her carefully. "Because I do not see any names on your dance card."

She quickly put her hands behind her back, feeling her cheeks flame. "He did not write it down."

"To be sure. Well, he is a fool, because if I were him, I would have written my name three times and had you to myself for the evening."

"A charmer, is that what you are?"

"Something of the sort."

"A rake?"

"Someone that requires an escape for the evening. Perhaps we might leave it there?"

"I am more than happy to. I could use an escape myself."

She willed herself to stop talking, to stop telling a stranger so much about herself when she had never, ever been the sort of person that did, but he seemed so kind that she could not help herself.

"What are you running from?" he asked.

"For a start." She laughed. "Attendees here that are sourer than the lemonade."

"I could not agree more. Horrible things, aren't they?"

"Aren't we," she sighed. "Normally, I can ignore the fact that I am supposedly one of them, but when I have to stand here among them, it is impossible."

"So, you are…?"

"None of your concern."

"Well, since you shall be dancing tonight, allegedly, one can assume you are unmarried, so that is a start."

"And as you are so determined to speak with an unmarried lady, even offering to dance with her, one can assume the same of you."

"A right assumption to make."

"So what is it that you want from me?"

"A conversation, is that a crime?"

When the conversation pertained to the life of a spinster, Diana thought that it quite well ought to be. She did not want to answer his unending questions, or make small talk and smile politely until she was blue in the face. She wanted her sister to finish her conversation so that they could return home, but that did not appear to be happening any time soon.

She realized this as she saw her sister hand an empty glass to a gentleman, who exchanged it for another. She always was a charmer.

"Alright," she huffed, "I do not mean to sound condescending, or unkind, or any other such thing, but I am not happy to be here, and I am only forcing myself to be in order to make my sister happy. I am not a lady that cavorts around making conversation."

"I could tell. That is why I thought you might."

"Do not think of me at all!" she snapped. "I understand that you seem to enjoy trying to act the fool and play the charmer, but it is not an act I wish to be involved with. I simply wish to get through this evening and go home."

"You are wrong."

"About my feelings? Who are you to dictate them?"

"I am talking about your opinion of me." He smirked. "I am not a fool. I understand you rather well, at least. Now, if you wish to be miserable all of your life, then you are welcome to do so, but I think you would be far prettier if you put on a smile like the other ladies here. Maybe then you would not be a spinster."

"Excuse me?"

"I told you I understood you. A bitter spinster, that is right, isn't it?"

"You do not know anything about me."

"Then why are you scarlet?"

"Because…" she stammered. "Because you are speaking to me, and I wish that you would stop. Is that too much to ask?"

"It is when you are such excellent conversation."

"I am not. You certainly are not, in any case, and I wish to be alone."

"Then be my guest, but your sister is clearly enjoying herself, and so you might have that loneliness that you so crave for a good long while."

"That is all the better," she snapped, turning to leave.

She wished that she had followed her sister, even if it would have meant standing on the outskirts of their conversation and not truly being a part of it. At least then she might have been saved from this gentleman who had no reason to be as close to her as he was.

Not that she had noticed such a thing, of course.