Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

T here was nothing Diana had wanted more than for her sister to find some sort of friendship with the Duke.

It was something that she did not truly see happening, given what Samantha knew (or rather, what she thought she knew) about the Duke, but it was something to hope for, nonetheless.

Fortunately, there was a week of rain, and so for their courtship to continue, it was better that the Duke remained in their drawing room throughout their stay.

The first day, Samantha did not come to the room. She did not come to see the Duke, instead going to the gardens and remaining there until he left. It was strange of her to do so, and she would return with dripping hair and her skirts in a mess, but she refused to go anywhere else.

"Have I done something to her?" the Duke asked. "She seemed quite content to be in my presence on my last visit."

"I believe she is simply shy."

"Well, she is to be my sister-in-law one day, so that ought to change eventually."

"I am quite sure that it will."

At that moment, her father began speaking to the Duke about some ideas for business opportunities, and Diana no longer cared to listen. She sat and waited for the end of the calling hour and then went to find her sister.

"Where were you?"

"I was here. I did not feel welcome in there. Why do you ask?"

"Why did you not feel welcome? You have spoken with the Duke before and found him pleasant, unless that was not the truth."

"I do not know. The two of you have been spending quite a lot of time together, and I did not wish to intrude. He is to be your husband, after all, not mine."

"In any case, the two of you will be family. It is my preference that the two of you find some common ground at least."

"And that will not be found through me being forced to sit in that room listening to the two of you."

"Is something wrong, Sister?" Diana asked. "Have I done something to upset you?"

"Not at all. I simply do not wish to intrude. That is all it is, I promise."

"Very well. In that case, I shall tell you that we do not see you as an intrusion. It is quite the opposite, in fact. He asked after you today."

"Why? I am of no interest to him."

"You will be his sister-in-law. Now, I need you to keep this between the two of us, but he does not have any family. You are to be his only sibling. Now, can you please, for me, make an effort?"

Samantha shifted, the rain hitting her face. "I suppose I can try, but if he is at all strange, then I shall return out here."

"Risking illness, yes. Very well."

And so the next day, when the Duke arrived, Samantha remained with her. Diana could tell that she did not wish to be there, but that was of little consequence—a promise was a promise.

"So, Your Grace," Samantha began, stirring her tea. "My sister was telling me about your talents with the pianoforte. It is not a particularly common talent for a gentleman to have."

"Perhaps not, but it is something that my mother had always loved, and so when she asked if I wished to learn it, I couldn't refuse."

"That is rather lovely, actually."

"And do you play?"

"Yes, but I cannot say that I have always enjoyed it. I do not have the lovely tie to it that you do. Being a young lady, there was always the expectation that I would learn and do it well, and so my sister and I worked tirelessly on it until I was perfect, but I cannot say even now that I am passionate about it."

"But it is such a beautiful instrument," he sighed with a smile, sitting at it.

"It is certainly nice, and it is a lovely decoration, but as far as utility?—"

He began to play, and the sisters fell silent. He seemed to forget that they were there at all, gently caressing the keys and playing a tune so soft that it seemed impossible that it was coming from such a brutish man.

"The pianoforte, you see"—he smiled as he played—"is an instrument of many facets. You see, you can play softly, or you can play like this."

He then played differently, hitting the keys harder, in a way that seemed to suit him even more.

"But what is most beautiful of all," he sighed, stopping for a moment. "Is when both musicians can play in perfect unison. The gentle and the passionate, they come together, and…"

He motioned for Diana to sit beside him, but she shook her head. She saw how his face fell for a moment, and she did not like it at all.

"I do not play," she explained. "I taught Samantha, but I could never quite do it myself. I could never make my fingers do what I wanted them to do."

"Ah. This is quite alright, Lady Diana."

"I can try," Samantha said quickly, causing both of them to turn to her. "I only—I only mean that it might help me learn to appreciate the instrument, and it is clearly something important to the gentleman that shall be my brother-in-law, so it is only fair that I try, you know?"

The Duke beamed, and she took a seat beside him.

"What shall we play?" she asked. "I have quite the collection of sheet music, not that I know any of it."

"In which case, we might as well play whatever we like. You can lead, and I shall follow you."

"I believe it is the proper thing for the gentleman to lead," she joked.

"Then we shall be most improper indeed."

They began to play together, and they were good at it. Diana knew that this was supposed to make her happy. At last, her sister and her betrothed were finding some sort of common ground, and from how they laughed together when they made a misstep, they were clearly enjoying each other's company. This was precisely what she had wanted.

So why was she so hurt?

She watched them together, and her chest ached. She thought back to that first morning in the drawing room, where it had been her sister who was set to marry him, and how Diana had thought she was making a sacrifice by marrying him instead, but seeing how they were together now, it was more like she had forced her way between them and stolen him away from her.

She had made a mistake. It had been with the best intentions in the world, but she had not done the right thing at all. They would have been happy together, sharing passions and music and laughter, and now Samantha would remain single, and the Duke would have to marry a lady that he did not love, and it was entirely her fault.

"I shall leave you both to it," Diana said suddenly, running out of the room.

She leaned against the wall, trying to steady her breathing. She had to insert herself, find a way to be involved because it pertained to Samantha and heaven forbid anything bad ever happened to her, and she had ruined everything.

And so, the following morning, it was her own turn not to go to the drawing room during calling hour, and she understood why Samantha was happier to go outside in the rain. She heard him arrive at her house, heard her father welcome him, and heard Samantha go downstairs to him.

When she went to the drawing room, the door was closed, so she pressed her ear against it to listen.

"I suppose she will not be attending this morning," Samantha said gently.

"That is quite alright after what happened yesterday. It was quite sudden."

"Yes, and very much unlike her. I did not see her for the rest of the day. I believe it shall be better to give her some space for now."

"I can take my leave if you wish."

"No! Stay. It is quite alright, I would rather you did not go out in this weather for no reason. You and I can discuss a few matters if that is alright with you."

"I suppose so. In which case, you played pianoforte with me, and so I should like you to teach me something about your passions."

"Well, what would you like to know about?"

"What would you like to talk about?"

Diana could not stand it. What was worse was that she couldn't understand why it hurt her so much. He was her betrothed, to be sure, but they would only ever be friends. He was not hers, and she was not his, and such an arrangement was supposed to make matters less complicated, and now…

Now she was making it difficult, and all because she wanted the two of them to be closer.

Can you never be happy? What will it take for you to just be happy?

Perhaps Samantha was right, and none of this was a good idea and it was better to wait outside. It was cold, and Diana knew that it was cold, but that didn't change a thing. She could not be there another moment, listening to the two of them talk and laugh as if she were not there at all. It made her nauseous.

Frankly, the cold rain was the better option.

It was almost soothing, feeling the icy water hit her skin and soak into her clothes. It was something that she shouldn't have been doing, and it made her feel better, but she was realizing that this had been a trend of late. The sister that had always toed the line was now doing anything but that, but instead of making her feel more in control, she had never felt less in control in her life.

Such a feeling was only made worse the following morning when she awoke with a terrible pain in her head and a weakness spreading throughout her body. It was the worst pain she had been in since the week after the fire.

"You are such a fool." Samantha laughed at her bedside.

That was certainly how Diana felt, in any case.

"Where is the Duke?" she asked. "I believe I require a word with him."

"He will not be coming today," Samantha said gently. "He spoke about you a lot yesterday, though. Fear not, he will come back. What did you wish to speak with him about?"

"It is nothing, Sister. It is nothing for you to hear, at least, not for now."

"Very well, I shall not pry. What happened to you yesterday? I was going to go looking for you, but you seemed so disinterested in speaking with me that I thought it best to leave you."

"You were correct in such an assumption. I needed time, that is all."

"And what you certainly did not need was to act as I did and go out in the rain. You always have gotten ill far easier than I. You should not take the sorts of risks that I do. It is not the same at all."

Diana sneezed, and it was all the agreement that she needed to convey.

"Why did you go outside?"

"I do not know," she lied. "I suppose I had had quite enough of being inside all day, and that a short while would not do any harm."

"Well, it certainly did, but it is nothing that you cannot handle. You shall be right as rain in the morning, I assure you."

"You are slightly too optimistic, Sister."

Diana wondered if it was optimism that she might have had one day a long time ago, not that she could remember any time at all where she did. Then again, it was thanks to Diana that Samantha was able to hope and dream at all, even if there was a harsh reality incoming that neither knew what to do with.

"This will all be alright, won't it?" Samantha asked.

"Of course. It is only a small ailment. It is as you say, I shall be fine by morning."

"I do not mean your ailment. I mean your marriage. You will not be leaving me behind, will you?"

"I am not worried at all that I will have to leave you behind. I am more worried that you will be bright and beautiful forever and be the one to leave me."

"That cannot happen. It will not. I need you far too much for that."

"That, and you and the Duke seemed to have found common ground after all."

"Yes, exactly as you wanted. He is rather pleasant, actually. It is quite the match for the two of you. It is fortunate, indeed. That is what these scandal sheets should write about you, not all of… that."

"Well, regardless, this is where we are. I can only hope that our marriage is happy, but there is no possibility at all that you and I will be separated. It will never be a consideration."

But her sister did not seem too convinced.

"You do believe me, don't you?"

"Of course."

"So is there something else on your mind?"

"It is all of this talk of weddings. I do not want it to happen. Are you sure that you cannot find a way out of it?"

"In a way that does not destroy your prospects? No. Thus, there is no way out that I shall consider. Besides, the Duke is not what they say he is. You know that yourself."

"But you do not love him. There must be a way to prevent this. You do not want to marry him, and so it is not right that you must."

"Fairness is not a concern of theirs. What matters is that he has proposed and I have gotten as close to accepting it as possible. To back away now would only prove disastrous for the both of us. Is there a reason why you do not want him to marry me?"

Samantha did not respond, instead biting her lip.

"Samantha, if there is something you need to tell me, then you ought to do so now."

"There is nothing to tell you, Sister. I must go now, though. Father requires twice as much from me when you are unwell, after all."

"I am so sorry."

"It is not your fault! Get some rest, and I hope that you recover quickly, for it is the garden party tomorrow."

"In which case I can only hope that my recovery requires an extra day."

"You shall enjoy it when you're there. You shall see."

Diana somehow struggled to believe that.