6. Mai

As I settled into the overstuffed chair in the study, my mind kept drifting back to breakfast. I'd slept badly, nightmares waking me often in the night, only to be lulled back to sleep in Ryan's warm arms as he pulled me close and stroked my back until my heart rate had slowed and sleep claimed me once more.

We'd woken early and headed downstairs. The tension that hung in the kitchen was thicker than the syrup on Ivan's pancakes. Danni, Ivan, Elise, and Camille had all been there. They tried to make us feel welcome, but I could see their exchanged glances, and the strained conversation was awful. Who the hell wanted to talk about what color sofa Elise should buy? Even Sam, who usually had a sarcastic comment for everything, was uncharacteristically quiet.

We were strangers in this Pack. Yes, we were guests, but we were outsiders, all the same. We couldn't afford to be strangers for long, though. We needed to bridge the gap, make them see us as allies, not threats. But how?

A pang of anxiety twisted in my stomach. I'd never been good with diplomacy, with the smooth words and calculated gestures that soothed doubts and fears. I was straightforward, to the point. No sugar-coating, no empty promises. But I had to figure it out, for all our sakes. We needed to be accepted by the Bridgetown Pack, to be truly welcomed, not merely tolerated.

A deep voice pulled me back to the present. "Mai," Derek called, a frown creasing his forehead. "You listening?" He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

I offered a weak smile, brushing my wavy hair back from my face. "Yeah, Derek. Sorry, I was just thinking."

"We're not just your Pack, Mai," Sam chimed in. "We're your family. And we've got your back, no matter what."

I looked at each of them in turn, their words echoing in my mind. My gaze finally landed on Ryan, the only one who would meet my eyes. He was watching me intently. They were all acting like we were already the Alpha pair, and it was pissing me off.

"I know, Sam," I replied. And I did know. They were my family, and I was so fucking grateful to have each and every one of them. But I didn't want such a momentous decision to be forced on me.

"I was saying we need a plan," Derek said.

Ryan ran a hand through his dark hair, leaning back in his chair. His blue eyes were thoughtful as he regarded his brothers. "Alright, lay it out for us."

"We've been thinking," Mason began, his voice steady, his blue eyes serious. "We all know what Brock and Hayley have done, and if we don't step up, who knows what they could do next. We need leaders who can stand against them."

Derek nodded. "And not just any leaders. Alpha leaders."

The words hung in the air like a heavy curtain. Alpha leaders. The thought was absurd. Me, an Alpha?

Sam caught my eye, giving me a reassuring smile. "You and Ryan are it. You're the best shot we have, Mai. You're strong, both of you."

"And it's not just about strength," Derek added. "You two have the loyalty of our new renegade Pack. That's a powerful thing. I have no doubt that when you make it known that you are challenging Brock and Hayley, there will be plenty of others from the Three Rivers who will support you."

Ryan looked at me, the question clear in his gaze. Would I consider this?

The room seemed to tilt on its axis at their words. I blinked, my heart pounding against my rib cage. I was no leader. I was just Mai Parker, a girl still grappling with the loss of her brother and the unraveling world around her.

"But us? As an Alpha Pair? We've only just got together. We've had no time to bond properly. I was taken by Seth and then Jem … With everything that's happened, you can't honestly think we'd do any good?" I could hardly swallow the lump forming in my throat. This was so much more than I felt capable of handling.

"Look, I get it," Derek started. "This is … overwhelming, to say the least." I had the feeling he was using his military training to keep his composure, but I could see a flicker of worry in his gray eyes.

"But," he continued, "you need to understand why we"re saying this, Mai. I don't know how much Ryan told you about our father or how much you remember, but he was a dickhead supreme. After Mom died, he lost it. Lost himself in the bottle. Didn't work, didn't really eat, didn't give a fuck about the four boys he still had left. Ryan didn't have a choice; his childhood ended when our mom died. He stepped up, not just because he had to, but because he loved us. Ryan raised us. You have no idea the sacrifices he made to keep us alive, to keep us safe. Yes, it turned him into an Alpha asshole, but he was born to be an Alpha. You and Ryan, you were always meant to be, and together, you're the strongest pair I know, stronger than you give yourselves credit for."

Sam chimed in next, his usually jovial demeanor replaced by a serious, almost pleading expression. "We know you can do this. You're not just strong, you're smart, you're fair, you're … you're what this Pack needs, especially now."

Mason, normally the silent observer, added his voice, his words measured and calculated. "We wouldn't be here, pushing this on you, if we didn't believe you two could pull it off. And, if you're worried about screwing up … Well, we're here. We won't let you fall."

They threw their words at me like lifelines, desperate for me to grab hold and believe. They believed in something bigger, a hope for a better future for our Pack. But it was hard to see past the storm of fear and doubt that was raging within me.

"Think about it, Mai," Sam pleaded, his eyes reflecting a strange mix of desperation and faith as he stood up to leave. Mason and Derek had matching expressions. "You and Ryan are the only hope for the Three Rivers Pack."

The room felt heavier, emptier once Derek, Sam, and Mason left. I sat beside Ryan, my thoughts a whirlpool of doubt and fear.

"The only hope? That was very Star Warsy, even for Sam." Sam had always been a big Star Wars fan, but he was laying it on thick, even for him. "How long do you think he's been waiting for an opportunity to say that?" I asked.

Ryan laughed. "Years, probably. He's not wrong, though. You'd be amazing, Mai." He took my hands in his; they were warm and comforting. "We can do this."

The words hung in the air between us. A promise. A challenge. A beacon of hope. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe in us.

But could I? Could I ever trust Ryan the way I'd need to for us to be the Alpha pair? I'd seen what a lack of trust did to Jem and Hayley. It affected the whole Pack, even before she'd allied with Brock and murdered my brother. I couldn't do that to them. The Pack needed a pair who were in sync, who each other inside and out, who trusted each other, and who worked as a team to make things better for everyone.

"I …" I started, my voice faltering.

My phone buzzed on the table beside me. I grabbed it; anything for a distraction from this conversation. The display read "Jem," and my heart froze.

Oh, my God! Was he…? Could he have survived?

"Jem?" My voice was a whisper, full of hope and need.

I heard crying at the other end. "Mai, I'm so sorry."

Hayley.

Rage blossomed. Ryan was by my side in an instant and gestured for me to give him the phone. I shook my head; I needed to be the one who talked to her.

I growled, "How could you? He loved you. How could you do this?" Suddenly, I had to know, had to understand.

"Mai, I … You can't understand what it was like. Brock, he promised me it would be different, that what I felt meant Jem couldn't be my fated mate, but I didn't know … I'm so sorry. I need him to come back, Mai. I need him. I don't know what to do, Mai!"

She was rambling. Was it regret? Was it the death of her mate and the effects that had on the mate bond? She had to have felt his death, had to have suffered horrendously when the bond was shattered.

"Hayley, he's not coming back. You killed him. Stabbed a knife into his heart, remember?"

She started sobbing again. "Mai …you can't come back here. He'll kill you."

Trying to protect me? Or trying to keep me from challenging her for the Alpha spot? "I'm not scared of Brock."

For a moment, there was silence before I heard her take two deep breaths. Then her voice changed. It was calmer. Not completely calm, but like the steadiness you get after you are all cried out. "Don't come back here, Mai. There's nothing for you here."

Then she hung up before I could reply.

I stood there for a moment, not sure what I was feeling. Rage, pity, frustration?

All of it swirling through me. Then a tidal wave of grief came out of nowhere and crashed over me, threatening to pull me under. Hearing Hayley's voice had cracked open the wound of losing Jem, raw and bleeding once more. I sank to my knees, sobs tearing through my chest as all the sorrows I'd been holding back broke free.

My big brother, my protector, my family—gone forever. The pain was unbearable, an endless abyss of anguish that I saw no way out of. It clouded my vision, stole my breath, consumed every part of me until I didn't know how I could take another breath in a world where such vital light had been extinguished.

And then Ryan was there, his strong arms surrounding me, holding the shattered pieces of me together. Through our bond, I felt his love envelop me in a soothing embrace. He couldn't take away my pain, but he eased it, his presence giving me the strength to ride the storm of grief.

I clung to him as the sorrow crested and finally began to recede, leaving me weary but intact. Ryan had anchored me through the worst of it, promising with his silent comfort that I would never have to face such darkness alone. Not anymore.

I clung to that, to the love pulsing through our bond. I didn't know how I was going to move on without Jem. How we were going to keep on living when he didn't get to. There was a lot right now that I didn't know. But I knew one thing for certain, and I grasped onto it. I couldn't let Hayley lead the Three Rivers Pack.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself, then looked at Ryan. "It's okay. I'm alright now."

"It's going to take time, Mai. Grief is going to hit you unexpectedly, but I'll always be here when it does. I promise." He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed the tip of my nose.

"I know. But we can only make it work if we do this together. As a team."

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He nodded, his grip around my waist tightening slightly. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Really? Well, I want to tear my hair out sometimes, you make me so mad. That or kick you in the head to get you to see how stubborn and unreasonable you're being."

"I'll admit I can be overbearing and obnoxious sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"I'm not used to having a mate. I've been alone, knowing you're out there and thinking I'd rejected you for four years, Mai. I've had to learn how to deal with that. I'm used to making decisions by myself and them being obeyed without question. You coming back, us sealing our bond, that changed everything. But it's going to be a learning curve for both of us."

I nodded. He was right. This was something we were going to have to work out as we went along. "I just wish we could do that in our own time."

"Me too. But we don't have a choice anymore. Brock and Hayley will be coming for us. They are in charge of the Three Rivers now, and I can't even begin to imagine the damage they can cause to our Pack. They'll take us back to the bad days when Oliver was in charge. They'll undo all the good that Jem did. We can't let that happen, Mai."

His expression turned playful. "Plus, I"ll let you kick me in the head anytime I cross the line."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You"ll let me?"

His grin widened. "I"ll probably enjoy it."

I shook my head, a small laugh escaping me. Maybe, just maybe, we could do this. And if he did start to get too bossy … Well, I knew how to throw a kick that Ryan would most definitely not enjoy.

I turned as the study door creaked open. Elise, one of the Bridgetown Pack's enforcers we'd been introduced to earlier, stepped in with a tray of food. I looked at her, and her eyes, which had seemed alert and wary before, now had a different kind of intensity.

"Thought you two might be hungry," she said, her voice oozing casual friendliness. She placed the tray filled with sandwiches and drinks on the table near us.

"Thank you, Elise. That's thoughtful of you," Ryan said, his eyes meeting mine for a brief moment.

Something didn't sit right. Her scent was off—it was tinged with a sharp note that set my inner wolf on edge. Before I could give a warning, Elise's hand shot under the tray and pulled out a knife. Then, with one swift movement, she dove toward Ryan.