2. Mai

The loud chatter of the crowd faded into a stunned silence as Ryan's words echoed across the packed room. "Mai, you're a fucking kid. We're not mates. We'll never be mates. You don't understand how this works. You will, one day when you grow up, but this is just some little girl's fantasy that's got out of hand."

His blue eyes were cold, cutting into me like shards of ice. Shock and humiliation washed over me in crushing waves. This couldn't be happening, not after I had put my heart on the line and finally told Ryan that he was my mate.

My cheeks burned as hushed whispers broke out among the crowd. I took a small step back. Laughter pierced the air as those in the crowd reacted to my public rejection with cruel delight. I could hear Brock's roaring laughter.

I turned to run but slammed straight into a solid, comforting frame—Jem. I wanted him to put his arms around me, to tell me that everything was going to be okay. Instead, he stared at me with such profound sorrow and disappointment that it stole my breath.

"Why, Mai?" he whispered, voice breaking. "Why did you have to ruin everything?"

Before I could reply, his face twisted in agony. He clutched at his chest as vivid red blood began to drip from his eyes, his ears, his mouth. I cried out, reaching for him, but my hands passed right through his body like smoke.

I startled awake in the pitch-black room, a cold sweat trickling down my spine. The memory of the nightmare clung to me, the heartache of Ryan's rejection, the horror of Jem's face, twisted in a grimace of pain, imprinted in my mind. I swallowed hard, trying to drive the images away.

The room was silent apart from the sound of Ryan's breath, steady and rhythmic beside me, and the low hum of the air con unit. As if drawn by an invisible force, I found myself leaning into him, craving the comfort of his heat. His scent wrapped around me, grounding me in the moment.

Ryan's arms tightened around me, his face relaxed and so beautiful in sleep. I lay there, cradled in his arms, thinking about how far I'd come. The memory of his rejection still ached, but being here with Ryan, maybe I was finally healing. He helped chase away the demons, his love soothing my battered soul. Curled against him right now, I felt safe, cherished even—feelings I thought were lost forever after he rejected me.

Jem's face from my nightmare intruded into my thoughts. Would the pain of losing him lessen in time? It seemed impossible right now that this all-consuming grief would change into something more bearable. Right now, there was only room for the sorrow and thoughts of revenge that wrestled within me, leaving me no room for sleep.

Ryan stirred beside me; his fingers traced an absent pattern on my arm. "Can't sleep?" he whispered, his voice rough.

A choked laugh escaped me, a pitiful sound that seemed to echo through the quiet room. "You could say that."

Ryan's arm tightened around me, pulling me closer to him. "Want to talk about it?"

"I can't believe he's gone," I said. "Hayley … I trusted her, Ryan. We all did."

"I know," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "I feel it too, Mai. The anger, the disbelief … it's like a nightmare that we can't wake up from."

I fell silent, listening to the hum of the air con and the occasional distant sounds of traffic.

After a moment, Ryan broke the silence. "Jem wanted us to be the Alpha pair, Mai. We could use that … we would be able to protect our Pack. Make sure nothing like this happens to the people we care about."

I sat up, turning to face him in the dim light filtering through the thin motel curtains.

"We've been a mated pair for less than a week, Ryan," I said, my voice harsher than I intended. "How are we supposed to lead? How are we supposed to protect the others?" I glanced down at the bruises covering my body courtesy of Seth. "We can barely look after ourselves."

"I'm trying to keep you safe, Mai. Brock and Hayley will come after us. They can't afford to let us live. We're a threat to them. Our best chance is to take the Alpha pair role, build up alliances, and strike back. Otherwise, we'll be on the run for the rest of our lives. I won't be able to keep you safe all the time."

He couldn't be serious. Was he honestly thinking about this? It just seemed too overwhelming, too much right now. Jem had been alive less than twenty-four hours ago.

"I don't need you to keep me safe," I snapped back. "I need you to trust me, to respect my opinions, too."

"I do trust you, Mai. But we need to consider this. For us … for the Pack."

Like hell we did. I didn't want to think about it, not now, not ever. I couldn't fill Jem's shoes, couldn't take the job he fought so hard for when his body was still warm somewhere. "We need to sleep," I said, cutting him off.

I turned over, pulling the covers up to my shoulders despite the heat. It was a long time before I fell back into a fitful sleep.

The light of a new day filtered through the threadbare curtains, and my eyelids fluttered open. Sleep had done little to quell the emotions that stormed inside me. It all rushed back in like a tidal wave. I closed my eyes again, willing away the tears that threatened to spill. No. I wasn't going to cry. Not again.

With Ryan still asleep beside me, I slipped out of bed. I crossed the room, the cool feel of the linoleum beneath my bare feet grounding me to this new world where Jem was dead and we were hunted.

Dressing quickly, I headed outside. I needed air, space to think, to feel. As I sat on the worn-out bench outside the motel, the crisp morning air filling my lungs, the usual calming ritual of watching the sunrise brought little comfort.

I felt Ryan rather than heard him. Turning my head, I saw him leaning against the doorway. He was barefoot and shirtless, wearing just his blue jeans. His dark hair was tousled from sleeping, but his eyes were alert and fixed right on me, like I might disappear at any moment, and he was going to make sure I didn't with the power of his eyes alone. He looked gorgeous in the morning sun, and I felt a such a strong pull toward him. Even in the midst of my grief, even when I was annoyed with him, part of me yearned to get up and walk over to Ryan, to run my hands along his chest, to feel him wrap his arms around me and kiss all my problems away.

I yanked my eyes away from him. I couldn't let myself get caught up in the mate bond right now. I needed time to get my head sorted. Almost like he knew what I was feeling, Ryan didn't move. He didn't come over to the bench. He was giving me space, which I appreciated. Still.

"I'm safe here, you know," I whispered, knowing he could hear me. "I can see anyone coming. You don't need to be on watch."

Ryan didn't reply. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him cross his arms, his muscles rippling, as kept staring at me. I hugged my knees to my chest and stared at my feet. I still couldn't believe that Jem was dead. I'd only just got him back. I'd missed him so much when I'd run from here. After our parents died, it used to be just him and me. He'd been the best older brother a werewolf could ask for. He'd loved me and made sure I was okay. Then Hayley came into the picture, and she hated me taking any of Jem's attention away from her.

Jem had seen how bad things were for most of the Pack under Oliver. He and Ryan had put in place a plan to take over the Pack, but that meant he disappeared at all hours and left Hayley to look after me. I'd missed him, missed spending time with him, missed his humor, his wisdom, his awesome hugs. But only a mated pair could challenge for the Alpha spot. That meant it had to be Jem and Hayley.

I'd thought a lot about my brother when I was away. I'd wished that he was happy, that he was doing what was right by our Pack. And when I came back, I got to see first-hand how much he'd done to change the Three Rivers Pack to make life better for all its members.

Then Seth kidnapped me. Ryan had hunted me down, and while we were away, Hayley had made her move. I'd thought that Hayley could never harm Jem, that he was her fated mate. I knew their relationship was difficult. Jem had told me himself that he'd blamed her after I ran away, that he'd neglected and ignored her. It was the last thing she needed.

Hayley had been brought up by an aunt and her family, who had treated Hayley like a modern-day Cinderella. Jem had gotten her out of there as soon as he realized how bad it was, but it affected how Hayley saw the world. She craved Jem's attention, only really felt safe and confident when she had it. She hated being told what to do and was driven by the need to be the one in charge. Jem being angry with her was too much for her to take, and she'd eventually cheated.

Jem had said it was the wake-up call he'd needed to see how dysfunctional their relationship had become. How it had filtered into the Pack bonds and affected everyone in the Pack. People were angrier than usual, on edge all the time. Jem had been trying to mend it, trying to make things right between him and Hayley. But then she allied with Brock Madden and drove a silver dagger straight into Jem's heart.

I wiped a tear from my cheek. Jem was dead, and I would never again get to cuddle him, to hear him laugh, to have him tell me I had a spot of dirt on my shirt, and then tweak my nose when I looked down.

I stared out over the motel parking lot. There was a faint hint of fog in the air, but it was lifting with the rising sun. I could feel its rays on my face, fighting against the chilly air, and a silent promise echoed in my heart: Hayley would pay. And I would make sure of it.