17. Mai

Half an hour later, the adrenaline from the fight was still buzzing through me as I grabbed a towel and water bottle from a rack next to the weights, glancing around for Shya. The other wolves were leaving after the training session, but I spotted her sitting under the same oak tree that our renegade Pack had been sitting under earlier, shooting quick glances at Mason.

I went over and sat down next to her, the shade welcome.

"That was fun," I remarked, taking a swig of water.

Shya let out a short laugh. "You're telling me. You did good. The others are starting to respect your little Pack."

"We're that obvious?"

She shrugged. "It's what I would have done in your situation. You don't need there to be tensions between our Packs. You need us right now, and if you can get on side with the majority of us, you'll be safer here for longer."

"You don't mind us being here?"

Shya glanced again at Mason, then quickly looked away. "As a family, as a Pack, we don't turn away those who need help. Plus, you guys helped me convince my dad that Tristan is a scheming motherfucker, and my dad is no longer pushing me to mate with him. So, I owe you."

"What about you?" I asked, curious. "Did you ever think Tristan was your mate?"

She nodded slowly. "He had me convinced me for a while. He seemed so sure that I was destined to be his mate. He … he was very good at playing with my emotions, at making me doubt myself," she said, her voice shaking with emotion. "I fell for it. For a long time, I thought he was right, and we were meant to be together."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I worked it out. When Dad wouldn't listen, I went to Derek. I told him what was happening here. It wasn't easy, but being his informant meant I could do something about it. It took a while to find out what Tristan and Brock were planning, but we stopped them; that's the important thing."

"I think what you did was brave, you know. No one believed you here. You worked undercover and did something that you knew your family would be furious about—all because you wanted to stand up for what was right to protect your Pack."

She looked at me, then smiled softly. "Maybe. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I've heard that you've had some dealings with questionable characters before. How do you know who you can and can't trust?"

I considered the question. "I'm not really the right person to ask. I have huge trust issues. I'm sure you heard that Ryan rejected me years ago. In front of not just our Pack but at the regional Pack meeting."

She winced. "Ouch."

"Yeah. Then there was Seth. He hit me, and when I ran, he kidnapped me and tried to break my bond with the Three Rivers Pack."

She tilted her head to one side. "Is that even possible? I thought only Alphas could break the bond."

I shrugged. "He was working with a witch. I don't know if it would have worked, but it felt like it might have."

"That's fucked up."

"You're telling me. Then there's Hayley. I always knew she had no love for me, but she adored Jem. I don't know what changed. What could drive her to kill him? It makes no sense to me."

"I'm sorry about your brother."

I swiped my hand across my face. It came away wet. "I can't imagine ever getting over this. The grief; it's so painful. How do people do this? How do they cope when they lose a loved one?"

"I don't know," she replied softly.

I looked across the lawn to my Pack. Ryan, Mason, Derek, and Sam were huddled together, chatting with Ivan and Ethan.

"Well, I don't, either. So, I'm going to have to try different things. The first one being revenge."

I felt her studying me before she said, "If there is anything I can do to help, just say the word."

I took a deep breath, trying to push down the grief that was threatening to boil over. The last thing I needed was to start sobbing here. "So, yeah, probably not the best person to ask about trust."

Shya sighed and looked over at Mason again. The Shaw brothers looked so alike. You could see the family resemblance in the set of their jaws, the shape of their noses, the way they all glared when they were angry, like the rest of the world better watch out because they were coming to destroy it.

"Of course, if you mean can you trust Mason, then the answer is one hundred percent yes. He's a good guy, Shya. He wouldn't gaslight you, wouldn't try to trick you. He loves his family, loves his Pack, and will do anything to protect the people he cares about."

I paused, considering how much I wanted to open up. Letting my guard down did not come naturally after everything I'd been through. But something in Shya's uncertain expression resonated with me. I recognized that quest to understand yourself amidst outside influences trying to twist your reality.

"Trust is hard for me, but I'm trying to be more vulnerable, little by little. To heal from old wounds so I can build new bonds."

Confiding in Shya felt like a small step on that journey. If I expected others to lower their walls, I had to lead by example. I couldn't expect to find meaningful connections if I wasn't willing to reveal my true self.

"That's the thing, though. Mason loves his Pack. I love mine. There is no future there."

I shrugged one shoulder. "Who's talking about the future? Why don't you just have a bit of fun, see where it goes? Though, do me a favor and don't tell your parents just yet?"

Shya laughed. "I can just imagine my dad's face if I told him I wanted to date someone from another Pack. From your renegade Pack, no less! No offense, but currently Mason has no job, no home, and is being hunted by another Pack."

I smiled; she had a point. "None taken. Just, I ran from my bond. I ran for four years, and I was miserable every moment." I reached out and touched her arm. "I don't want that to happen to you or Mason."

"I'm not ready."

"For the fated mate bond? No one ever is."

Ryan strode over to us and held out his hand to pull me up. "I'm heading in for a shower. Want to join me?"

Hell, yes. I still have some energy to burn off.

Shya must have seen my expression. She laughed and said, "See you guys later."