Chapter 31

Chapter

Thirty-One

TRESSYA

"Tamas," I whispered, as the massive dark form of the nightmare spread its wings across the night sky, blotting out the stars.

The blade piercing my chest felt real, and the sense of desolation was just as deep. I sunk to my knees amongst the creeper and moss, burying my head in my hands, surrendering to an aching emptiness yawning inside of me. In the dark's silence, I felt utterly alone, totally defeated.

Tamas already triumphed by claiming me as his bonded, gaining access to any power I possessed. Regardless of the outcome, Tamas would be the wielder of the Etherweave, either through my abilities or by his own means. He didn't have to reveal that shocking revelation, yet he did so, at the risk of the Eone's and the Mother's wrath.

He knew everything, even from the moment he bit me, yet continuously saved my life and protected me. In return, I silently accused him of betrayal at the precise moment when, in a show of devotion, he was offering his blood so I could take from him—even the Etherweave's power, if he reached it first.

With the Mother's baneful influence receding, I recognized what his offer truly meant; it was not about power, but the deep connection he longed to share with me, positioning us as equals, sharing our powers.

I wasn't born a Razohan and knew nothing of their traditions, yet I realized that by spurning him as I did, I likely wounded him in a deeply fundamental way. I gave him no chance to explain—cryptic as it might have been—and assumed he bit me so he could win. Then in my anger and hurt, I allowed myself to succumb to the Mother's influence. And now it felt like I'd ripped my heart out, all because I placed more faith in people's cruelty and betrayal than in their capacity for love.

He fled from me as the nightmare, knowing there was no hope of me chasing him, no hope of his friends hunting him down. That in itself was the greatest indication of the deep wounds I'd inflicted.

"You'll pay for this," I uttered, but the words felt empty. There was none of the fierce conviction within me revenge should evoke. I was empty.

‘I saved you from your weak heart.'

Oh, how I wished I could gouge her out of my head.

"Then why do I feel caged?" There wasn't anywhere near enough fury in my voice while most of my heart rode on the back of the nightmare as it disappeared into the night sky .

‘Your heart was always your prison, but you were blind to the truth. I've opened your eyes to the depths of his deceit. You finally realize the cage he's placed you in. I've liberated you, yet censure is all I receive in return . '

"Never dare influence me again."

‘You're merely a child in this game. Children need guidance. They need to learn their place.'

"You exist because of me." I rose from my knees as though every limb ached, but really, it was my heart, spreading its sorrow throughout my entire body.

Slowly, I bent to retrieve my clothes and dressed as lethargically.

‘And you survive, thanks to me. The Razohan is already dead, and you'll soon meet the same fate if you choose to ignore my guidance.'

I froze. "What do you mean?" I would have let out a scornful, humorless laugh at her notion of guidance had she not issued her ominous warning.

‘Your naivety in relation to your talent was crucial, but now it's embarrassing. Yet it's important for you to remain ignorant until the end.'

"Cut the shit. Just answer me."

‘Very well. The Razohan's usefulness is limited to those who wish to control him.'

"You know about the Eone?"

‘There is no darkness once one crosses the veil. It's for this very reason I had to separate you from him.'

"Wait, I don't understand. What does that mean?"

‘Spiritweaving has always been a rare and perilous talent, one that many feared once its true potential was revealed. Despite the risks, a few sought to harness it for their own gain. Eventually, those who possessed the talent were hunted and killed for their abilities, and gradually, the talent vanished from the realms, except within the lineage of a very few select individuals thanks to the Sistern. The lore surrounding its power also faded into obscurity, which worked to my advantage. This made it so effortless for me to keep you ill-informed.'

"What do you know?"

‘Much, but what do I reveal?'

Calming breaths, I needed them more than ever when dealing with the mother. "Tell me, did you foresee Tamas? My guess is no. And I'm pretty damn sure you never expected him to mark me, claim me as his life's partner. And now this." I huffed a hard, humorless laugh. "He certainly stole my breath with that revelation. You never expected that level of interference, did you?"

‘You underestimate me?—'

"You're right. I did. But I stopped doing that a while ago. I'd say what he revealed alarmed you, otherwise why make such a bold, yet utterly futile attempt to defeat him? Did you really think you'd win against him?"

‘You should praise me for what I've done for you. I bestowed this power upon you.'

"You say I'm a child in need of teaching, well just now you've demonstrated quite a bit. I'm understanding the extent of your influence over me, and I'm seeing your limits, because there was another thing you did not foresee. You lost control over me once I transformed into my beast."

After the initial shock subsided, the glory I felt upon becoming the beast was indescribable. It was as if my entire life before had been meaningless, all my years spent waiting for a destiny I didn't know about. Now my beast had found me, I felt acutely aware of a connection to a race of people whose unique heritage isolated them from others, yet united them as one. For twenty-three years, I dismissed my dreams as the pathetic desires of someone doomed to be alone, misunderstood, and unloved. It wasn't until I encountered my beast that I realized I had been existing in a body that was only half complete, and living a life that was merely shadows when I could bask in the sun.

My beast empowered me to step out of the shadows, and it was Tamas who would become my sun.

"I may have begun na?ve to this talent, and I might not yet comprehend its potential, but that's where you come in."

I took a long inhale, drawing air deep into my lungs, channeling my focus down to the core of my being, the seat of my power, where Aetherius resided.

"You're now my instrument."

‘My life is in dedication to the Sistern. Everything I have done?—'

"And everything you know is mine to exploit. If you won't give me the answers I seek, then I shall take them from you."

The sound of pounding footsteps pulled me from my mind. I lost my hold on Aetherius as the Mother's presence vanished. Suddenly I realized how cold I was, and the fact I still had to finish getting dressed. While shivering, it was an arduous task, but by the time Osmud and Bryra came into view, I was buttoning up my shirt .

"We heard noises," Bryra said, a polite way to say Tamas and I caused a raucous.

"Where is he?" Osmud said, glancing around before tilting his chin and sniffing the scents on the wind.

I pressed my lips together, thinking of a few lies I could say, but realized there was no point. "He's gone."

"Gone? What does that mean exactly?" Osmud demanded. I noticed small things as well as deeply transformative ones. For one, I could see Osmud's expression in the starlight more clearly, whereas before, his face would have been interesting shades of shadows. His expression was a blend of distrust and confusion.

"He took to the sky."

"He became the nightmare?" I failed to miss the accusatory tone in his voice.

I met his glare, anticipating the derogatory turn this conversation was bound to take from this point forward.

"He was our guide through this stinking shit hole." Osmud's voice rose dangerously close to yelling, his eyes radiating a fury I'm sure had been simmering beneath the surface since our first meeting, eager for any excuse to burst forth.

"Osmud," Bryra said, intentionally softening her voice to soothe his budding temper. "Why are you so quick to blame Tressya for all of this?"

"Because he's been an ass since he very first met her. And lately…well, lately I just want to knock his block off. If you want to understand the reason for his mood change, just ask her. She's the cause. I guarantee."

The apostles appeared, with Tortilus carrying his conjured light in the palm of his hand. I should have felt pleasantly surprised to see he had some ability to manipulate magic, as I suspected, but it was inconsequential compared to losing Tamas and our way through the Ashenlands.

All four were wheezing and panting from their efforts to keep up with Osmud and Bryra. However, upon hearing Osmud's accusation, they glanced at me, and the guilt I'd carried for too long—both for my secrets and for hurting Tamas the way I did—made me feel as though I had every reason to apologize.

"You're right. He left because of me. But you know very little of the truth."

Osmud folded his arms across his chest. "Oh really. Why don't you enlighten us?"

My gaze lingered on each of them. This was Tamas' story to tell, but given our perilous situation, there was no point in withholding the truth.

"Tamas is possessed."

Wellard gasped.

"I'm not sure how or when it happened, but that's the reason for his deteriorating mood. He was constantly fighting to keep control of his mind."

Osmud shook his head, then forked his finger through his hair as he turned away to pace. Finally, he stopped and turned to face me. "That's your excuse. It's nothing but horseshit."

"Who possessed him?" Bryra said.

"Don't, Bryra. You're too intelligent to fall for this."

"An ancient people called the Eone. He claims they created the Etherweave." I turned to the apostles, hoping to see some recognition of the name.

"The ancients?" Tortilus said.

"They call themselves the Eone. It's how he knew where to lead us," I explained. "Under the Eone's influence, he burned the map. He was never meant to bring any of us along on the final journey to the Etherweave—especially me."

"This makes no sense," Osmud growled.

"Begging your pardon, but it makes perfect sense. Tressya is a rival." Plesy said.

"Against a bunch of dead people," he spat, but the moment he said it, his eyes widened in understanding. "How very inconvenient of him to bring someone who commands the dead."

"I'm not sure how much influence I would have over them. Creating an ultimate power would require commanding significant power. And the fact they've existed in some form for a millennium—while retaining some of their ability—waiting for Tamas proves their mastery of magic."

Plesy continued. "I had thought perhaps the power was calling to him, guiding him to its location, but, yes, it makes sense, because if it was the Etherweave that was showing him the way, then it should do the same for you."

All six glanced at me.

"We must return to our books, brethren." Tortilus suddenly sprang to life, his enthusiasm for the challenging journey ahead undiminished by this new revelation. Belief was a powerful motivator, and that's why I wouldn't disclose to the apostles that it was actually the Eone, not their apostle skill, who saved Tamas from the Salmun's curse.

"I'm sure there's mention of this Eone in our collection somewhere. We're bound to find a reference, now we know what we're looking for. If we could learn more about them…"

His enthusiasm for magic and knowledge seemed endless. But by now I was musing over what Plesy had said. Would the Etherweave guide the true heir to its resting place?

‘Is that true?' The Mother might know, but would she be honest with me?

‘A question? Why don't you just exploit my knowledge?' Her clipped tone ran shrill across my mind.

‘I will if I have to, but your cooperation will make things quicker.'

She stayed silent for immeasurable breaths. I was about to ask again when she answered. ‘Your reliance on him weakened you. You were always subservient, allowing him to lead when you should never have followed. Not now, nor in the future.'

‘I'll take that cryptic answer as a yes.'

‘Let me war?—'

‘I've heard enough from you,' I mentally snapped at her.

I looked at Plesy. "Perhaps you're right."

"I am," he uttered in surprise. "Yes, I am."

"How's he right?" Osmud demanded, scratching his head.

"I'm not focusing on its call. I've shut it out because I was following Tamas."

Osmud huffed. "Alright then, point the way. "

What if I was wrong about the Etherweave?

‘You're not. It's time you had faith in what I created.' Her voice echoed inside my head.

"I need time." To listen for the Etherweave, and also to stop the Mother eavesdropping on my life.

"Time we don't have," Osmud growled.

"Patience, Osmud. I know it's not your strength, but unless you want us to be stuck here, Tressya is our only guide," Bryra said.

"Perhaps. But I'm sure there's plenty to be found in the texts, which will illuminate our problem," Tortilus suggested.

"Would you forget about your fucking books!" Osmud snapped. "And you…" He jabbed his finger at me. "…haven't told us nearly enough about these Eone."

"There's plenty of time for revelations once we return to camp," Bryra said. "If we hope to make any progress, we need rest and food." She turned to the apostles. "Feel free to study your texts for anything that may be helpful. We need as much knowledge about the path ahead as we can gather." She then glanced at me. "Take your time to listen, but not too long, if you know what I mean."

TAMA S

Above the forest, concealed beneath wisps of cloud and the deep gloom of night, there were no boundaries, only freedom. The temptation to unleash my constraints and merge with the wild, liberating chaos of the nightmare's primal urges—where I could escape the expectations of my position, break free from the chains of destiny, and indulge in the sheer magnitude of its physical power, poised for release—intensified into an almost overwhelming desire. Though its body was immense and its dominion over the Ashenlands absolute, its instincts were straightforward, its needs fundamental. The thought was calming to my soul.

My mental anguish and emotional suffering fractured under the assault of the icy wind, sweeping across my leathery wings with the sharpness of a blade, yet there was pleasure in that sensation.

Its feral mind and primal needs, however, became constant distractions that grew irritating. The creature was incapable of forming a coherent thought beyond following the scent of its next meal, of which there were many hiding in the forest far below us. It didn't help that I had my own needs, having had little to eat or drink since finding Tressya on the path, cold as ice.

As if sensing my struggle between retaining my sanity and succumbing to the freedom of the nightmare's insanity, a familiar beat pulsed through my chest, throbbing with need, beckoning me onward.

The Etherweave. I was not unaccustomed to its call, but in the Ashenlands, as I rushed toward my fate, the thrumming vibration of its call became an irresistible lure I couldn't dismiss. The power was coming to life, desiring its release.

Guided only by starlight, with the nightmare's exceptional sight, I spied the mountain from a distance, towering above the dark forest. My destination lay at its crest, encircled by a ring of winged protectors.

My stomach grumbled when the first taste of prey filled my nose. I opened my massive beaked mouth, savoring the taste of the scent as the wind moved across the fine filament of my tongue. There would be no harm in taking my fill before I entered the castle.

As I spiraled above the bone white castle, below, the smaller winged creatures, sensing my predatory approach, dispersed, skimming low across the forest canopy.

For a moment, a hazy thought clouded my concentration, and I lost focus on the chase. Shaking off the sudden confusion, consumed by the exhilaration of the hunt, I dived, tucking my wings, and then, at the last moment, snapped them wide, allowing the wind to slow my descent. The smaller creature dipped, hoping to find refuge in the trees, but with a single powerful flap of my massive wings, I was upon it. Stretching my neck to reach into a gap between the trees, I snapped it down in one gulp. It was barely a meal, leaving my stomach empty, so I rose, turning my head to seek the survivors, when the haze clouded my concentration once again.

‘Do not lose yourself,' came the faint cry from within my mind.

I shook my massive head, beating my wings to soar once again high into the sky .

‘Tamas, please.' It was a woman's voice, nothing more than a distant echo in my head.

The Eone. They were struggling to reach me while I had taken on the form of the nightmare. Free from the curse of the Eone's control; the thought was decidedly pleasant. However, their presence, though minor, reminded me of what was important. Losing myself in simplistic violence would not nourish my soul, nor would it relieve me of my responsibilities. The only thing it would do was tear me away from the woman I loved and my fate.

Surrendering to my fate, I spiraled down toward the castle, skimming into the gaping ruins so the tips of my barbs grazed the top stones, sending them crashing to the ground below. At the last moment, I snapped my wings closed and landed within the castle as a man. I cracked my neck and flexed my shoulders, feeling a sense of relief to be back in my skin.

‘Welcome back, young Razohan,' Ineth said. ‘Your mental control over such a savage beast is impressive.'

‘We cannot linger,' Ovia said. ‘We are so close. Can you not feel its call? The Etherweave longs for release, eager to unite with us once again.'

‘A millennium we have waited. At last, our time has come,' Fivia said.

I attempted to fend off the surge of excitement overwhelming my emotions, determined to resist the sway they held over me. As a distraction, I glanced up at the night sky. "What about the prophecy that claimed the night would be lit as day?" Alone in this castle, I spoke aloud to them.

‘You have us,' Carthius said. ‘We are all you need to succeed. Place your hands upon the Etherweave's cage and let us do the work. With our power flowing through you, the five of us will be strong enough to destroy the Nazeen's curse and bring the Etherweave forth.'

I hesitated, my thoughts drifting to Tressya. As soon as her image entered my mind, I tried to bury it, shielding her from the Eone's probing minds. My desire for her remained just as strong, the pain of her rejection doing nothing to dampen my feelings. Sharing the bond between us would have made us equals in every way. It was all I had ever desired. Only now I'd left her far behind.

I could leave, assume the nightmare once more, and return to her side.

‘Stand firm and do not falter now, my friend,' urged Carthius.

A sudden tug in my chest drew me further into the castle's labyrinth, my legs moving under the Eone's guidance. I couldn't tell if my newfound curiosity and anticipation were my emotions alone or the influence of the Eone.

‘You have become one of us, choosing to leave your burdens behind and join our cause. The task before you, young Razohan, is to fulfill your destiny and seize the Etherweave. By doing so, you will bring an end to the suffering that plagues the seven realms. You will be the harbinger of order amidst chaos, of benevolence amidst cruelty, for those who suffer under the tyranny of oppressors. The power is within your grasp to command,' Carthius continued.

‘You are deserving of this, young Razohan,' Ovia reassured .

Curse her. She was turning my vulnerable thoughts into a weapon.

‘Never let doubt cloud your mind. The Etherweave is yours. If not for the meddling of that vile order, which spawned such an abomination, your path would be clear and your fate unquestioned.'

Calling Tressya an abomination wouldn't earn my loyalty. It only reminded me whose side they were on: their own. "When I claim the Etherweave, what becomes of you? Will I be eternally bound by your interference, or will the Etherweave restore your lives?"

‘Do not dwell on such matters now, not when we are so close to succeeding,' Ineth urged.

"The deeds you've compelled me to commit, the falsehoods you've spun—this is no alliance. You are neither my allies nor my friends. The rule of five will never prevail. Power will never allow the powerful to conform."

Regardless of my questions, they would only ever speak lies. I wasn't sure why I bothered with this conversation.

‘You speak thus because you have yet to grasp the essence of our ways.'

"I want to be free of you?—"

‘You will be,' Fivia said.

"So you believe the Etherweave will grant you life again?"

‘There is no cure for death. You know that, young friend,' Carthius said, using a soothing voice to calm my accusation. ‘Even the woman who controls the dead cannot grant true life again.'

"Then what do you get out of this? "

‘We are your guides of wisdom.'

I paced, scouring my face with my hands, feeling my agitation bloom. "Perhaps I should take my chances and give the others time to catch up."

They had access to my thoughts, control over my transition and body. They would never let me leave. Now I was here, they would ensure I stayed, and fulfilled their longing to control the Etherweave once more.

‘You burned the map,' Ineth said. ‘Now they are helpless, wandering the Ashenlands, vulnerable to the creatures that inhabit this forsaken place. If not the creatures, then the Salmun, impostors in this realm, will be their downfall.'

It was all thanks to the Eone that I had burned the map. They'd worked together to exert an immense amount of influence over me, and now they portrayed my actions as though I'd made a conscious choice to destroy it.

"I know my enemy," I said, mostly as a reminder to myself of what the Eone represented. I needed no response from them. "Tressya is too smart, too powerful against the Salmun. And Osmud and Bryra will have no trouble hunting me down."

‘You forget you abandoned your followers to arrive here in the nightmare's form. I think you overestimate the power of your followers' abilities to hunt,' Ovia said.

She used subtle word games to twist my head. Their inimical mind tricks were the reason I was here… except…perhaps, I should accept some blame. The pain of Tressya's rejection had me tucking my tail like a young pup and running from the shame. But the hatred poisoning my mind had been the Eone's doing .

‘How long do you suppose they will last in the Ashenlands? How many times will they have to fight before they have no fight left in them?' Carthius said.

"First you tell me to ignore the burden of my friends, now you're detailing the danger they're in. What do you expect me to do?" I shouted, wanting them out of my mind, or better yet, silenced. Permanently.

‘The power of the Etherweave is your only choice, Tamas,' Ineth said. ‘Accept its call. We know you feel its pull. Do not turn away from it. Embrace it, and you will become the arbiter of your friends' fates and the victor in this war.'

‘Ignoring our guidance because of distrust puts your friends' lives at risk,' Fivia said.

By now, I was pressing my palms to either side of my head, wishing I could squeeze their voices into silence. But this was as much guilt as it was fury.

I strode to the gaping cavity in the center of the room and peered into its depths. This close, the Etherweave's call was as painful as it was exhilarating.

‘That is right, Tamas. Feel its call. Feel its power,' Carthius crooned. ‘Become the Etherweave's wielder, and you become master of your fate and the fates of the seven realms.'

The sweet smell of magic wafted up on a gentle breeze from deep within. The warming sensation that began in my chest and quickly spread along my limbs replaced the humming vibration of the Etherweave's call. Slowly, it turned into a searing heat reminiscent of the Ashenlands' pit. Far from uncomfortable, it was a temptation, an invitation to be renewed in the fire of the Etherweave's power.

Unable to resist the lure of the Etherweave's call or overcome the Eone's forceful control over my body, I leaped, calling upon my Huungardred strength to land safely far below. In the cavernous room deep beneath the castle, the flecks of white in the walls and floor shimmered blue, creating the illusion of standing underwater. Stalactites hung from the ceiling like frozen spears, and a faint, ethereal glow bathed the entire chamber. On the far side, a sizable rock sat—the Etherweave's cage—veined with intricate patterns of glowing energy, woven and intertwined like liquid sapphire, pulsed with a radiant blue light—the unmistakable power of the Etherweave. The raw power contained within cast an otherworldly luminescence that danced across the cavern walls.

‘Answer its call, Tamas. It has longed for this moment. Longed for you,' Ovia said.

I approached, each step feeling the flames of rejuvenation, the promise of power. Standing within arm's reach, my whole body was tremoring with its song.

‘Yes, Tamas, touch the rock,' Fivia said.

My deepest wish was for the both of us to claim this together, a dream I'd harbored since the moment I bit Tressya. I knew she was worthy of the power; I could only hope to be worthy of being her mate. But it seems I've deceived her in the former and failed her in the latter.

I should have told her the truth when I first saw her again, back when I was free from the Eone's venom. I could have explained my actions and the profound bond we now shared, without the Mother or the Eone shadowing our thoughts and controlling our actions, and Tressya would have had the grace to decide for herself what path she would take.

‘Do not falter,' Ovia urged.

My choices vanished as destiny unfolded before me. The Eone would not allow me to turn away; even the call of the Etherweave bound me. I was transfixed, my body like stone.

Though she was bloodborn, perhaps wielding the Etherweave was never Tressya's fate. Maybe Romelda had been right all along.

If I took it now, I would fulfill the promises I'd made to myself. I would claim the southern throne for the north, gain the power to protect those I loved from any threat, and share it all with Tressya, my bonded, as my queen. Once I have the power, I would offer my blood to her, have her mark me as hers, so she would know the Etherweave's might.

I reached out and placed my hands on the rock.

‘Yes,' Fivia gasped.

A sudden surge of pure elation from the Eone overwhelmed me as the heat from the rock, along with the contained power of the Etherweave, scorched the palms of my hands. I ignored the burgeoning pain, which intensified with every breath, grunting and clenching my teeth so tightly that my jaw ached.

‘What is happening?' Fivia said, her voice edged with concern.

‘It has been a millennium. It will take a little longer,' Ineth said. ‘Open to us,' he demanded of me.

I grunted through the pain, baring my teeth, feeling my fangs piercing deep into my bottom lip. But the Etherweave didn't come to me .

‘It is not responding,' Ovia cried.

‘It will. He's resisting us.' The cruel cut of Carthius' voice only made me laugh.

‘Stop this.' Ovia's shout resounded through my mind. ‘Try harder.'

I released my hold on the rock and stumbled backward, revealing my blistered hands for all to see. All the while, I laughed, a cruel and taunting laugh.

‘You cannot stop,' Fivia cried.

"It's pointless," I said, inhaling deep to ease the pain of my burns. "Can't you see?" I held my hands up, looking at my blisters. Then I laughed again. I spun in a circle, tilting my head backward, and laughed even more. "You were wrong," I declared. The laughter was my rejuvenation; it resonated through my soul.

He knows nothing, Ovia said.

He is mad, Ineth replied.

Perhaps he is right, Carthius said.

"Your minds are a millennium old, yet you still haven't figured it out?"

Because of the map, I should've guessed it myself.

Could we have been wrong? What if he is not the one , Fivia said.

"I am the heir. But you were wrong in believing Tressya played no part."

Just as the map would only reveal its secrets with Tressya's and my shared touch, it required the two of us to draw the Etherweave forth.