Chapter 29

Chapter

Twenty-Nine

TAMAS

"Are you sure we can trust Tamas," whispered Wellard, revealing his ignorance about the capabilities of us Razohan. Not even a human, their hearing far inferior, would have missed his clumsy whispers.

"Tressya does. I guess that means we should as well," Tortilus said.

"What if she's blinded by... It seems they are… The northerner has a hold over her," Selisimus added.

"Our queen knows what she's doing," Tortilus retorted, raising his voice. "However, it would be wise for us to remain vigilant. When we break for the night, I suggest we consult our texts. There may be spells we can cast to protect Her Majesty from him…should he ever turn feral again."

"Perhaps we'll find a spell to bind the beast side of his nature," Plesy said .

My fangs involuntarily extended upon hearing him mention it, although I was skeptical about the existence of such a spell, and even more so about their ability to cast it.

"Excellent idea, Plesy. That should be the direction of our thoughts," Tortilus replied.

"Shall we inform Tressya of our plans?"

"Gracious, no, Wellard. I think it's quite evident after that display that she's incapable of thinking sensibly when it comes to the northerner. It's up to us to protect her from her soft heart," Tortilus continued.

"And what about the queen?" Selisimus' voice rose barely above a whisper.

He had to be referring to her admission that northerner blood ran through her veins.

"It seems the House of Tannard was following the wrong prophecy," Plesy replied.

"When we find a way to bind Tamas' beast side, perhaps we can do the same for her." Tortilus sounded assured they would succeed in finding such a spell, equally confident they had the capability of wielding such power.

I would put a claw to his throat for thinking such a thing if I could wipe the smirk from my face. Instead, I stopped, shucking my pack from my back. "This is far enough from the passage for now."

Since leaving the Manor in the middle of the night, a lot had transpired, and now, after almost a full cycle, we arrived at dusk without having stopped. The clouds above had thinned, unveiling a blanket of stars whose glittering light filtered through the canopy of trees.

"Praise Ovia, my feet are very sore," Wellard sighed, collapsing down on his ass and leaning back on his pack.

"You better be careful who you send your praise to, little apostle," I said, passing him as I headed back to Tressya.

Wellard leaned over to Selisimus. "What do you think he means by that?"

"He's a northerner. Their beliefs differ from our own," Tortilus whispered.

I shut out the rest of their conversation, as I spun Tressya around and eased the pack from her back.

"You think we're in far enough?" she said.

"This whole place is the Salmun's lair. No place is safe, but it's the best place for now. We can't go on all night. The apostles, at least, will need sleep if we don't want to be carrying them." I leaned in close. "And I smell water. I thought, maybe you'd like to…" I skimmed my eyes down the front of her clothes.

Given our haste, none of us thought to bring a change of clothes, but it didn't mean we couldn't take a dip to wash away some of the grime.

"I would love a wash."

"I'll prepare a fire," Osmud announced and moved off into the trees to collect wood.

Selisimus patted his grumbling stomach. "Pardon, but it's been a long time since I ate."

Beside him, Tortilus was already rummaging through his pack, and given he'd stuffed it with thick volumes taken from the solmira's shelves, I doubted he was thinking of food .

"Come with me." I curled my finger at Tressya, avoiding Bryra's gaze as I drew her away from our party.

"Tressya…" Tortilus called out, half climbing to his feet. "Do you… Perhaps it's not wise…" He glanced at the other apostles for support.

"Help Osmud prepare some food. We won't be long," Tressya replied.

I gave Tortilus a toothy smile, ensuring to bare my teeth, to which he quickly averted his gaze. Then, smiling to myself, I led Tressya into the trees.

We'd no time to discuss what happened at the entrance of the passage, and I desperately needed to apologize once more. Given my second attack, I knew my promises rang hollow, so my sincere apologies would have to suffice.

The silence between us as we strode through the forest ate at me. Thoughts swirled in my mind, but I needed time to sort them out, to express them accurately, to avoid saying things out of fear or in a misguided attempt to mend our relationship. Only the truth would suffice. I needed to find out if she could handle it. She needed the truth, so she could decide for herself if she will take the last leap. I was completely committed; she was my future, a decision I had made at the start with a premeditated plan while keeping my emotions at bay. But now, it was all about my heart, with no regrets. I needed to know if she was ready to join me, which demanded total surrender.

"Why do you suppose we have seen none of the Ashenlands' creatures?"

"Whatever the reason, it can't be good." There was no easy way to begin this conversation. "Tressya, I want to?— "

"Forget it. You've already apologized enough. I think it's clear the Eone has a hold on you, so it's foolish, and possibly lethal, for us to pretend otherwise."

Her apparent lack of concern for the danger I posed to her amazed me. Yet, she'd proven more than capable of handling anything I threw her way. I couldn't stop thinking about her imminent transformation. It started with growing claws and fangs. Her full shift was closer than I'd expected, and here we were, far from safety. There would be no celebrations for the profound moment.

She might think this a random comment to make, but it needed to be said. "Your full transformation is close, and it pains me to think we won't be able to celebrate it the way it deserves to be celebrated."

She shrugged. "I've never done anything that deserves celebration, so it doesn't bother me."

I took hold of her elbow, turning her to face me. Although my Razohan eyesight allowed me to see her features in the starlit night, they weren't as distinct as I would've liked, given the importance of what I wanted to say. "I'll revere the moment." I touched my chest. "In my heart. And when we're free of this cursed place, the Etherweave coursing through our veins, I'll give you a celebration the likes of which the Razohan has never seen." Though inadequate to convey the depth of my meaning, the words came from my soul.

I was already hesitant to admit the truth of our bond, so her silence unnerved me. "Maybe I didn't say that right. You don't understand the profound meaning of a Razohan's first transition." I was making a mess here, so I changed course. "It's a lie."

She frowned.

"You, having never done anything that's worth celebrating. Since meeting you, you've constantly astounded me, outmaneuvered me, delighted me, captivated me, enraptured me—" Her kiss silenced the rest, a hard kiss because her words weren't adequate either. I felt her untapped pain bleed out, so coaxed her lips apart with my tongue and smiled at hearing her gentle moan.

I, for one, thought of nothing but us, but Tressya soon pulled us apart. "The Ashenlands, remember?"

"No." And I clawed her back into my arms.

"The Etherweave."

"Isn't going anywhere just yet." I nuzzled my lips into her nape, inhaling her scent.

"The Salmun."

I growled against her skin, then raised my head as she shifted away. I was about to protest when she cupped my cheeks between her palms. "You said it perfectly."

This time I was the one who frown.

"I understand how much the transition means."

"It's significant in Razohan culture, but to me, your transition means so much more."

She pressed her fingers against my lips. "I know."

"Because you're my bonded partner," I said around her fingers.

"I know."

"Your beast will make us equals. As bonded should be."

Now was the moment to reveal the true meaning behind those words, the true extent of what a bonded gained. But my throat suddenly thickened at the thought. Curse those damn Eone. I wanted nothing more than to surrender my blood to her, and the Eone knew it. Never would they allow her the same advantage I gained in taking her blood, and if I said anymore, the Eone would bring my beast forth once again.

"I killed my father." I blurted. If I couldn't admit the truth of our bond, I would reveal my ugly sins, bring myself low before her eyes, diminish any moral equivalency between us.

"That I didn't know." She drew her fingers away from my lips.

"Love can cause the deepest agony."

"I've never loved enough to know."

Hopefully, she was referring to her past, rather than her present.

"Father was willing to believe a lie to save himself from the torment of losing my mother. He believed by killing me, he'd become the heir to the Etherweave, which would give him the power to bring her back from the dead."

"I doubt that's even possible. Not so they are truly living again. Not even a spiritweaver can do that. However, I don't understand the extent of the Etherweave's power, so perhaps…" She took my hands.

"Ever since, I've questioned my right to inherit the Etherweave, what sort of ruler I would become filled with all that power, a man who murdered his own father."

"You actions sound justified. But knowing that doesn't lesson your guilt." Her smile was sad. "I'm glad you told me. Now we know each other's deepest shame."

The silence that spread between us, her gaze locking with mine, told me the words she was about to speak held great importance to her. "Your father would have committed an unthinkable sin in killing you for power. The terrible guilt you feel for what you did, the fact you fear becoming a tyrant, proves the man you are. Tyrants never question or fear their actions."

"Yet I'm a slave to the Eone."

"You're not entirely. Even the most remarkable people fall. But such setbacks do not diminish their greatness. It's their ability to recover from adversity and persevere that truly defines their character, and you have never surrendered to them. Ancient people with ancient power, of course they're going to win. Being partially enslaved to them is no proof of a feeble mind. It's proof you're someone they need, someone of worth, and someone they fear."

"The depth of your forgiving heart, the loyalty you show me…nothing will ever humble me more." I stepped closer, dusting my fingers under her chin, gently tilting her head up to meet my gaze. "There's nothing I want more than what you've already given me."

About to kiss her, she moved her head away. "Really? I thought leading me away from the others to get clean was a ruse... I thought we were going to have sex."

I chuckled, wrapping my arms around her shoulders, hugging her to me. "Will there ever be a moment you stop delighting me?"

"Possibly never. "

Never implied a long time. It implied a future. I rested my forehead on hers. "How is it that, in our darkest moment, I feel utterly content?"

"Because you believe in us. It makes no difference that our greatest rivals, two factions on opposing sides, now possess us. You have faith we'll succeed."

"I have faith in you. From the moment I met you on the Sapphire Rose, I knew it was going to be you who won."

Now was the time to tell her the truth. Before we said any more, she needed to know the advantages I gained from the bite mark, but how to tell her without the Eone's interference.

"There's something?—"

She pressed a finger to my lips. "No. I don't like that tone. Don't you dare ruin this moment by reminding us of where we are."

"There are conversations we must have."

"Of course there are, but I refuse to be a part of them until after we've washed. At the very least."

I couldn't help but smile at her suggestion, yet she needed to decide to be with me only after fully understanding the truth about my mark. "What I have to tell you is best said before?—"

"Would you shut up and stop being so serious?"

"I never want you to change your mind about me."

"For mercy's sake," she sighed. "What must I do to make you focus on us?"

She splayed her hands on my chest before slowly feathering her fingertips down my front.

As much as I wanted this, there would never just be the two of us. After what happened after we left the passage, I feared the Eone's interference. "What about the Eone?"

"You want them to join in?"

I pressed her hands flat to my stomach. "I'll be at my weakest if we were to do anything. The Eone will distract me."

"What'll be your excuse next time? And the time after that? Unless you know a foolproof way to save yourself from them."

I inhaled, squeezing her hands as I closed my eyes. "Why do you always make me see reason?" Then, before another disabling thought could take hold, I tugged on her hand, leading her onward.

A faint musty odor, tainted by the decay of vegetation, grew stronger as I followed the sound of a gentle trickling stream. Through the wide girthed trees, I spied the glimmer of starlight reflecting off a black lake, the only light to penetrate the dark gloom of the forest. If not in the Ashenlands, I would think it beautiful.

"Do you think it's safe?" Tressya asked as I led her to its edge, obscured by the thick reeds and moss. Exposed roots that plunged into its depths, creating an eerie, natural ladder, bordered the lake's dark, foreboding waters.

"It appears tranquil," I replied.

"Nothing in the Ashenlands is to be trusted."

"I'll enter first. If I disappear, you'll know not to follow," I said, discarding my shirt.

Tressya stepped close, batting my hands away from the ties on my breeches.

"No blade?" I said, as she undid the laces .

Her slow, sly smile teased my cock hard. "I can oblige you with a blade if that's what you want."

Suddenly, I snared her nape, grabbing a thick knot of her hair and kissed her hard. "I'll take whatever you're willing to give," I spoke against her lips. I couldn't get enough of her taste, her smell. Of her. "My life was half-lived," I whispered, brushing her hair from her face, before cradling her cheeks between my palms.

"Your life will be half-lived if you don't stop talking." She pushed me backward, keeping one hand on the ties so they unraveled, opening the front wide, exposing my hardened cock to the cold air, which bounced out of its confines as though hunting her down.

"Now that's what I call a weapon," she breathed, her eyes flaring wide as she stared at my near-nakedness.

I slipped the rest of my clothes to my feet, and by the time I was done, Tressya had discarded her clothes, standing before me naked.

"You wasted no time."

"I was only half-satisfied back at the manor. I want the rest of what you owe me." She trailed her fingers up one of my thigh, angling inward, but I seized her around the waist and lifted her up. Understanding my intention, she wrapped her legs around me, and I groaned at the pressure of my cock nestled nicely between her legs.

Lost in her, it would make no difference to me if the whole of the north looked on, so I gave little thought to the Eone or the Mother.

In the Ashenlands, under the threat of vile creatures possibly lurking nearby, with the Etherweave looming and the Eone yearning for release, it made no sense for our kiss to be languid and exploratory, as though it were our first. It made even less sense for us to be like this, naked, consumed in each other and nothing else. Yet, when I was with her, the rest of the world faded into insignificance. And it seemed Tressya felt the same.

So when she ground herself against me, rubbing my shaft against the wet heat between her legs, releasing soft little moans as she deepened her kiss, all thoughts of potential danger went out of my head. This was it; the foundation of a joyous life. The pleasure of my woman was my sole priority.

"We need this, Tamas," she purred. "We need this because there's no guarantee."

"Whoa," I eased my head back, so I could look into her eyes. "Don't say that."

She gently shook her head. "Let this be what we remember when we need to be strong."

"Always."

"I mean it." She froze, staring deep into my eyes. "I'm sick of fantasies." Then she maneuvered herself to reach between us and grabbed my cock, while angling her hips to ease me inside.

I arched my head back, my eyes fluttering close on a groan at the sheer delight of feeling myself sheathed deep inside of her. Her warm walls hugging my cock tight.

She released a soft moan before she spoke again. "Everything can only get worse." She pressed her lips to mine, silencing me, then drew my bottom lip into her mouth, giving it a gentle nip before letting go. "But that doesn't mean we have to lose each other. I'll fight for you. You know that, right?"

"Curses, Tressya. Don't say that." Don't strip me down and humble me with your words. Not when the images in my head of any danger she might face were enough to drag my beast from slumber.

She gripped the back of my neck, her firm hold silencing me. "It needs to be said. We both need to hear it said."

I leaned in, pressing our noses together. "I've faced death, fought monsters, and defied fate itself, but nothing has ever scared me more than the thought of losing you. I'll scorch the seven realms to keep you safe, to ensure we'll always be together."

She nodded. "They'll do everything in their power to tear us apart."

She was referring to the Mother and the Eone.

"They'll never succeed. Not even the divide between the living and the dead can tear us apart. I'll never stop fighting for us."

She shook her head, as if refusing to listen to me. "Even once we possess the Etherweave, do you understand? They have the power to pit us against each other and turn us into each other's greatest enemy."

"No. You're wrong. That'll never happen."

She kissed me gently, then ground her hips, and I caught my breath at the exquisite feeling.

"But we'll always have this moment, and all the times before it. Those are our anchors, Tamas. We can find our way back to each other. We just have to remember."

Then she kissed me, silencing any reply I might have given. For a moment, a strangling fist seized my heart at her seemingly prophetic words. She believed them deeply, but I couldn't. I wouldn't.

With one more gentle rock of her hips, the tight grip on my heart gradually loosened. Another rock of her hips, and her words transformed into moths, fluttering away into oblivion.

I lowered us slowly, hating the feeling of our lost contact as I settled her down on the discarded clothes. But Tressya rose. She signaled I should flip with a hand on my chest, then wasted no time in straddling me, impaling me deep inside of her.

This is how I would remember her: unrestrained and untamed, her eyes locked with mine as she rode me. Her stare was both a promise to me and a warning to our enemies—a severing gaze. Here was my queen, the Queen of the Bone Throne.

I came apart just watching her. Brimming close to climax, she threw her head back and snarled to the night, which drew me to the brink of my orgasm. As her walls closed tight around my cock in rhythmic pulses, her body suddenly spasmed. Seized in ecstasy, she jerked forward, dragging her clawed fingers from my chest to my stomach, and released another throaty snarl. The sharp pain from the slices she made with her claws was my undoing.

My release was like a savage storm. The immensity of the build of my ecstasy, the sudden release and I felt as though my body was splintering apart. I jetted my climax deep inside of her, joining her guttural snarls and gripping her waist tightly, as if it were the only thing preventing me from shattering into dozens of pieces.

With her collapsed on top of me, I felt her wild heartbeat raging in time with mine. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close, savoring the smell of our sex, and the iron tang of my blood, savoring what we'd just shared. She'd branded me with her claws, and soon I hoped she would mark me with her bite.

"Tressya." I was loathed to break this spell, but I had to tell her the truth about my mark.

"Not that again," she moaned, pushing herself upright.

My blood covered her chest. I loved seeing her wearing it, knowing it resulted from her pleasure.

"Oh no. Tamas, I'm sorry." She looked at her hands to see them stained with my blood.

"Don't worry. It's more endearing than a love bite. Back home, bonded males will ensure the first wounds leave a scar and wear them with pride as to the pleasure they've given their bonded partners."

She huffed a laugh, and the sound caressed all the way down inside of me. Then, all too soon, she sobered. "We can't stay here like this."

"I know." My voice was heavy.