Chapter 16

Chapter

Sixteen

brYRA

From Tressya's window, I'd watched her depart in the carriage, as a thickness welled in my throat and my heart felt clenched in tight fists. I watched the carriage roll out of sight until the seizure that held me released, and I turned to flee.

Out in the corridor, I swayed, flinging out one hand to clutch the wall while I waited for the churn in my stomach to pass. When I glanced down the passage, the walls of Emberfell seemed to fall inward, threatening to crush me inside this cursed castle forever.

There was only one place I felt safe.

I hurried toward the servants' passage, bursting through the door and inadvertently shoving a manservant to the side. He was a slim, lanky youth, barely older than a child, his thin, wispy hair slicked down wet against his scalp. The smell of fear obscured the crisp freshness of his servant's uniform.

I gave no apology, rather rushed past him and bounded off down the dim passage with the churn of my stomach growing ever more violent. The walls only an arm's span either side, my sense of suffocation grew steadily worse.

Hairs sprouted along my arm, tickling under my maid's sleeve, and I palmed my face, fearful my beast side had revealed itself. The smooth skin worn by the two-legged remained on the left side of my face, but in my anxious state, I struggled to decide if that was a boon or a curse. My disguise made me forget I was Huungardred, made me feel vulnerable, even though without it I would be hunted. I needed to be free, to feel the breeze chill my face and smell the ice and pine on the wind.

I hurried to the only place I knew that would soothe my sudden and inexplicable fear; the king's garden.

Once I reached the only sanctuary I knew in this cursed place, I slipped my uncomfortable shoes and stepped upon the soft, damp soil, burying myself within the broad leaves and closed my eyes to feel my heart beat out of rhythm.

Shame carved a hole in my heart—a shame for the cowardice I had just exhibited; a shame for the fool I had revealed myself to be; a shame for succumbing to Romelda's harsh scheme; a shame for the hurt I was about to inflict on Tamas.

I could only be thankful I was far from my father, so he wouldn't witness my actions.

The last few days, I questioned both Romelda's and my reasoning for committing to this path. I should be angry with her for asking this of me, knowing what I would lose in the end was I to succeed. But I trusted Romelda. The blooded were loyal to one fate, unswayed by glory or greed. However, I feared her loyalty had blinded her.

Jealousy was my reason and knowing this was the biggest source of my shame.

I had dreaded Romelda's prophecy, that Tressya would ensnare Tamas with a false love, only to burn his heart. Yet, my overriding impulse stemmed from the knowledge that she was Razohan—possessing the power to make their bond whole, should she decide to. How could I look upon my father and Tamas, knowing I killed Tressya all for the pain in my heart? And now I was racked with indecision as to the best choice I could make.

Since our disastrous meeting beside the battle arena, demands placed on the queen spared me from speaking with her again, especially in private, given the Mother was present most nights I arrived to tend the queen.

The older woman was a slow, torturous poison, leaving me baffled why any would willingly pledge their loyalty to one so blatantly cruel and hateful. When in her presence, I had hurriedly performed my tasks so that I could escape before my beast burst free.

In three days, my loathing for the older woman raised bile into my throat, forcing me to curl the buds of my claws into the flesh on my palm to stop them from fully forming. Never had I thought someone ever deserving of death until I met this evil woman.

But here in the tranquility of the captured forest, its magic soothed my heavy heart and eased the squeeze on my lungs. I found a place to settle and breathed in the rich earthy smells that reminded me a little of home, and there I stayed for a long time, relishing the restorative power of nature.

Perhaps hours had passed before I felt a persistent and irritating niggle, warning me I should leave the sanctuary before I someone discovered. me

Sadly, I knew the sense of peace I'd found while hiding in the garden was fleeting. Once I left my refuge, the now familiar sensations of anxiety and suffocation would once again slip beneath my skin, but hiding was the coward's way, and Huungardred weren't cowards.

Slipping my feet into my uncomfortable shoes was the first slow demise of my peace. I'm sure my steps would grow heavy the further I moved from this place.

I couldn't bear the thought of entering the servants' passage again, so when I spied the glass doorway leading outside, I couldn't resist the temptation. For a suspended moment, I gazed through the doorway to the grounds beyond, the open air and the cluster of ailing trees in the distance, wondering what awaited me inside the castle. The answer was nothing. The queen had departed, taking her abhorrent Mother and the Salmun with her; her departure had ignited the sudden flare of panic within me, intensifying my feelings of entrapment.

Anything was better than returning to the servants' passage when there was little reason for me to be inside. I relented, heading for the door, relieved to find it easily opened.

Outside, the wind held none of the fresh beauty of the north, but I continued down the path, this time heading toward the front of the castle. I had a lot on my mind and left my feet to take me where they would while I pondered my choices.

There was only one sensible choice for me to make. I knew it the moment I'd caught the dagger in my hand once I was sure Tressya suspected me. She was familiar with the nature of the Razohan.

She suspected I was one of them, yet she remained silent about my true identity, allowing me to retain my role as her lady's maid. She did this because she would never fathom my true purpose for being here. Her behavior revealed one truth: she bore no malice towards Tamas or the Razohan for inciting the war. Had she harbored any resentment, she wouldn't have hesitated to bind me in chains. Knowing this, I couldn't help contemplating her true feelings toward Tamas. As much as it pained me to think so, I believed they were deeper than Romelda thought. Which would make one of my reasons for coming here a lie.

Now was the perfect time for me to flee. With everyone departed, leaving few eyes upon me, giving me the freedom to escape.

The thought of leaving this place spurred my heart to race. The sun had yet to rise to midday, which meant I should reach the outer limits of Tolum by nightfall. From there, I was free to transform into the beast and disappear through the night to the border in the north.

I halted on realizing my thoughtless meandering had led me to the front of the castle. The churning of carriage wheels on gravel seized me in place. Too late, it appeared Tressya and the Mother were returning, but without the Salmun. Already their carriage had passed through the main entrance gate.

I should take cover around the side of the castle and out of view, since I wasn't where I should be, but I feared I'd already been seen. Sure enough, as the carriage swung around the fountain centering the courtyard, I caught the Mother's eye. It was as though giant arms held me in place, as I watched the carriage come to a halt in front of the entrance doors to Emberfell, and the Mother emerged from inside.

I couldn't explain why I stayed when I realized the Mother had traveled alone. An unfamiliar loathing welled within on the sight of her, churning my stomach until I felt sure this time I really would be sick.

Escape—a word I clung to for solace, letting it linger in the recesses of my mind over the past few days. Now, however, its allure waned, its echo rapidly diminishing. As I stared at the Mother, the churning of my stomach abated, even if my loathing stretched the limits of my heart.

This detestable woman, embodying everything I despised in the two-legged kind, was at fault. She exemplified an order of women whose contemptible greed gave rise to a child whose birth should never have occurred. By her machinations, Tressya was forced into this fate. Because of the Mother, the northerners suffered terrible loss, and the Salmun still controlled the Bone Throne. This was the woman deserved of death.

She treated me as though I were invisible, not even bothering to glance my way as she took the steps to the entrance doors of Emberfell. That was the single boon of this disguise. It rendered me beneath most people's notice.

I observed her, curious whether a woman as astute as the Mother could sense the intensity of my scornful gaze upon her face, wondering if it scorched her skin as fervently as I yearned to set her clothes ablaze. But I had a far greater surprise to gift the Mother than a flame easily doused.

Her outrage was clear in the way she ascended the stairs, each step taken with a force as if she intended to crush them beneath her feet. The downturn of her lips and the tightness around her eyes revealed her fury, and I had a good idea of what might have provoked such ire. She'd arrived alone, which meant Tressya had sent the Mother away, or the Salmun; whomever it had been, the Mother held no power to refuse. For a woman whose words were unquestionably obeyed, she was likely struggling to contain her fury.

As soon as she disappeared into Emberfell, the spellbinding force that had frozen me in place seemed to dissipate. The surge of dark emotions that had overwhelmed me at the sight of her no longer had the power to influence my decisions now that she was out of sight. It was the perfect time to enact my earlier plan. The copse of trees wasn't far for a beast who could move with blinding speed; the thought drew home nearer.

This was not my fight. I was not the person to set right the wrongs committed, nor the one responsible for the fates of so many; that was the arrogance of the two-legged kind. Too long I'd been away from my father's hall.

I retraced my steps around the side of Emberfell until I reached the glass door that led into the king's gardens. Rather than head inside, I turned and followed the trail I'd taken days ago when I'd hunted down the queen for the first time, which led me to the copse of trees.

A formidable rampart, no doubt constructed during an era when the threat of siege loomed constantly, encircled Emberfell. Now, with the Salmun serving as protection for the House of Tannard, its crenellations remained vacant and unguarded. For a Huungardred, it was barely an obstacle to my freedom.

I itched to leave the cover of the thinned forest but was distracted by the sight of Tressya coming toward me through the small copse of trees from the direction of the rampart.

Her clothes were disheveled, her hair a tangled mess, but her eyes were alive with purpose. She was heading straight toward me. The sickly trees were poor shelter for someone as big as me, so I stood little chance of hiding. Instead, I thought up an excuse and waited to be discovered.

On seeing me standing amongst the trees, Tressya faltered, giving a glance to her shoulder. That's when I spied the rat perched close to her nape.

A rat? What had the queen done to acquire a rat?

Mercy on my soul. The dread was like an anvil.

"Ryia?"

The need to get away twisted my tongue, making me unable to speak.

"What are you doing out here?"

The only sensible thing I could manage was a curtsy.

Tressya glanced to the rampart behind as if she'd already discovered my plan .

"You're coming with me," she announced and stomped off toward Emberfell.

I still had the chance to flee. The queen was no match for my Huungardred speed, yet encountering her this way, as if she'd emerged victorious from a minor battle, compelled me to obey, even with the rat sitting atop her shoulder.

He was the reason I should disappear, but it was too late. There was no escaping a Razohan's perceptivity. Though a rat, I was sure his eyes would penetrate beneath Romelda's disguise.

He'd made it to the south. The two were united. Hiding was no longer necessary for me. As a Huungardred, I was bound to own my actions and confront the consequences.