23. Belonging

23

BELONGING

I pace the hallway outside of my father's office, trying to get the nerve up to knock on the door.

Dad is an understanding person—certainly he will take my side on this. If I just explain to him how I feel, he will straighten this whole thing out.

The thing is, I don't need to be engaged to Damek right now. We could date. That's what I want. The added pressure of being engaged is too much, too soon.

The door abruptly opens and Dad sticks his head out, leveling me with a look. "Are you coming in or are you going to walk back and forth all night?"

Right.

I forgot vampire hearing is a thing.

Back home, nobody except for me had supernatural hearing. I could've done this all night outside of my mom's office and she would've never known.

Dad opens the door just enough for me to slip inside. He nods to the guard standing outside his office and shuts the door once I'm through.

"Have a seat, Madeline." He slips onto the couch and pats the spot beside him.

My dad's office is huge. He has a large desk that is currently covered in papers. His laptop is open on the top of a stack of papers. Bookshelves line the wall behind his desk with familiar looking leather bound books.

Vampire law books, I realize.

There is a large window to the left that overlooks the side of the house. From here, you can get a glimpse of the lake and the path that leads toward it.

Realizing I'm stalling, I walk over to the loveseat and sit beside my dad.

"Talk to me," Dad says in a tone that leaves no room for argument.

I shift in my seat so that I'm facing him. "The thing is, I know that I'm a half vampire and I know there are expectations that come with being your daughter, but I'm also a half succubus. And succubi don't get engaged to guys they've known for such a short amount of time."

"Do you dislike Prince Damek?" Dad furrows his brows as he studies me.

I shake my head. "No. I like him. A lot, actually. If given enough time, I think we could be good together. But I don't know him that well."

"I thought you'd be happy. You're getting a six month engagement to Prince Damek." Dad rubs a hand on the back of his neck. "With Eden, I had less than two weeks to prepare for our marriage. I'm ashamed to admit, I didn't even like her for the first year of our marriage. I was stubborn about not wanting to like her that I couldn't see how great she was."

My eyes widen in surprise.

Dad didn't even like Eden? It's hard to imagine that. She's so sweet and kind. She's easy to like. How could anybody dislike her?

"Your mother…" He pauses and clears his throat. "What happened between us was just me being stubborn. I didn't want to be married to Eden. I resented the fact that my father forced me into an unwanted marriage. Eden didn't want the marriage any more than I did, but I was too selfish to think of her. I was thinking only of myself. I had just found out that she was pregnant with Lucien—with a child I didn't want yet. And your mother was… beautiful. She still is, you look so much like her."

I shake my head. "No. I look like you."

He puts his hand on the top of my head, giving me a sad smile. "You have my hair and eye color, but your mannerisms remind me so much of her. You even have her nose and lips."

I do?

All my life, I've only seen how different I am from my mom that I never considered how similar we are.

"The night I found out about Eden's pregnancy, you were conceived. I knew right away that it was a mistake." He looks away, pain in his eyes. "But even as selfish as I was, Eden forgave me. I think that's when I started falling in love with her—because she was willing to forgive me for my unthinkable and selfish action."

"Eden is really great." I chew on my bottom lip as I think about her forgiving him for cheating on her. I'm not sure I could do the same if my husband did that to me.

"She is." Dad smiles at me. "When I found out about you, my world was turned upside down. I should have come for you at that moment, but I didn't. Once again, I was selfish. I was thinking how your presence would remind Eden of my mistake."

I pat his arm. "Dad, it's okay. I understand. I would never want to hurt Eden."

He shakes his head. "But don't you see how wrong I was? Eden adores you. You're the daughter she never had. And having you here completes our family. You make us whole. I never even knew our family was lacking until you arrived. Once Lucien is back, we can finally be a real family."

I lean into his shoulder and he wraps an arm around me.

I had no idea the guilt that he carried.

Dad pulls back and looks at me. "I'm sorry that you're not ready to be engaged yet. But our clan needs this alliance. If we don't, we will lose everything, possibly even our lives. Some of the other clans are hungry for power. When they see a weakened clan, they go after them. And while I don't consider our clan weak, we're not strong either—not compared to some of the other clans. The Rune Clan is very strong. A few generations back, they merged with three other clans, making their numbers vast. We need them at our back or we aren't going to survive."

I swallow hard. "So… even when Lucien comes back…" my voice trails off.

"Even when he comes back, you are still my spare. We need this alliance," he says. "Besides, you were always meant to be a queen, Madeline. And you will be a queen to the Rune Clan."

My heart thumps a little faster at the idea.

I'm not sure that I agree with him. I don't want to rule anybody.

"How do you truly feel about Prince Damek?" Dad leans back on the couch as he studies me.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and can't help the smile that tugs at my lips. "I like Damek. A lot, actually. He's nice, we get along great, and I find him very attractive. And he seems to like me as well. He goes out of his way to treat me well—he opens doors for me and he always holds my hand and makes sure that I'm taken care of. I like that. I think I could easily fall in love with him."

Dad smiles. "That's good."

"Yeah." I chew on my bottom lip.

"I know you don't want to be engaged until you're in love. And I respect that. But it's simply not an option, Madeline. In the world that we live in, I'm just glad you found a royal that you like." Dad's blue eyes never leave mine.

His eyes remind me how much we look alike.

Maybe a political marriage doesn't have to be all bad. At least I like Damek, which is more than I can say for Dad and Eden at the beginning of their marriage. But they're in love now, it's clear to see. If they can find love, certainly I can too. If I let myself, I think falling for Damek would be simple.

I pull my knees up to my chest and hug them against me. "I will do this. I will marry Damek in six months."

Dad's smile grows wider. "I know you. By the time you two marry, you'll be in love with him."

He's probably right. And I will have a better attitude about this from now on.

Dad sits up straighter, a serious look taking the place of the playful smile. "Speaking of which, on Friday we will be hosting an engagement party. We'll be announcing your betrothal to all the other vampire clans and we'll be celebrating your engagement. Normally engagements are too short to bother with an announcement party, so this will be different. It'll be nice."

"I imagine Eden will enjoy having six months to plan a wedding," I say, thinking about my stepmom. "I imagine she'll plan something huge."

"You know her well already." Dad pushes himself up from the couch. "I have some work I need to finalize for the alliance. Kaine is giving you the week off so you and Eden can prepare for the engagement party. I believe she has a spa night prepared for the two of you."

My eyes widen. "Really? That'll be awesome. I'm sure Julien is positively jealous."

Dad snorts out a laugh. "You and Julien seem to be getting along well."

"Are you surprised?" I stand up from the couch.

"No." He sits down at his desk, pushing open his laptop. "I expected the two of you would get along great. I'm just pleased to see it. When I first found out about you, I didn't know how you would integrate into the family. I'm pleased to see it's gone well."

I wonder about Lucien. Would I get along with him? I want to ask questions, but it still feels strange to bring him up. I can tell that his absence weighs heavily on the family.

"Hey, Dad?" I say, pausing at the door to his office.

"Yes, Madeline." He looks up from his computer.

"Thank you for coming to get me and for inviting me to join your family. My whole life, I've never fit in with the succubi and incubi community. There was always something missing. Now I know that I was always missing you and our family here."

He smiles warmly. "I love you, Madeline."

"Love you too, Dad."