Chapter Twenty-Seven

T he Right Honorable Bernice Natham

“Now you know where I keep my secrets.” Moran shut the safe that was hidden under the floorboards in his office and stood upright, a rueful twist to his lips. He hadn’t shaved and his shirt was open at the neck. My heart filled with an emotion I dared not express. He never looked more appealing nor more unobtainable.

Ash snorted in mock derision and buttoned his greatcoat.

With a shake of my head at their teasing, I laid my hand on Moran’s chest and pressed a kiss to his lips. “At least some of them,” I said, rocking back on my heels.

The clock chimed two o’clock as Ash settled his hat on his head. “Are you ready Birdie?”

My mind screamed no but I had responsibilities I couldn’t shirk. The time to leave was at hand and it pained me to leave Moran. “Goodbye then.”

“Goodbye.” Moran took his seat in the spring chair, his hands gripping the desk to keep himself steady. I shook my head and met Ash’s amused regard before we exited into the back stairwell. The dim light from outsight cast the narrow hallway in shadows, the floorboards creaking under our weight.

“I wish that our time together didn’t have to end.” Ash opened the back door and stepped outside, the navy greatcoat whipping in the wind.

Late afternoon sunlight greeted me. After the heavy snow of the night before, I had expected that we would be snowed in for a few days. The weather had warmed quite a bit throughout the morning, and we’d shared one last intimate encounter before I insisted on going home to my family. “The snow wasn’t very obliging by melting so quickly. However, my sisters will be worried,” I said.

“I am surprised Violet didn’t come looking for you.” Ash slipped his hand under my arm, offering me support while we traversed a pile of snow. Unlike his boots, my own footwear afforded me little protection from the slushy water that puddled the walkway.

“Eloise should be home with them tonight.” I realized my error the second her name left my lips. Blimey, I needed to watch my tongue and refer to her as Ella. I lifted my skirt, the road slushy in places. Up ahead, a snowplow manned by six men and two dray horses cleared the roadway. “It appears as if our timing is perfect. We will have clear roads to traverse.”

“Your sister’s name is Eloise?” Frown lines appeared between his eyes and he studied me with more scrutiny than I was comfortable with. We passed a building that blocked the sun, the chill more pronounced. Or perhaps it was my own guilt playing tricks on me. With each step, we moved closer to my flat.

“Yes, we call her Ella since our mother’s name was Eloise. She died in childbirth. My younger siblings are half-sisters.” All of it was the truth, however, my heart raced at my trickery. Surely Ash hadn’t seen my letter of introduction and guessed it was false? I shook off the doubt. It was too farfetched even to consider. Yet stranger things had happened.

“Your parents are both deceased, I assume.”

My pace increased, along with my nervousness at his line of inquiry. “My mother died in childbirth, as did my stepmother.”

“Leaving you to raise the girls.” He waved to a bobby who was speaking to another man on the street corner. Ash and Moran had grown up in the neighborhood and were familiar with the citizens, thus the exchange didn’t seem sinister. “What about your father?”

I forced myself to not answer immediately, giving me time to sound plausible. “Unlike your father, he wasn’t a good one.” After I moved the girls from a horrible boarding house in Whitechapel, I now considered Milk Street my home. While I had big dreams, I didn’t anticipate ever having a life like I once had.

“I am lucky to have my father, to be sure.” He slipped his arm more fully into mine, the warmth of his body a welcome sensation. “Moran wants children. You have lots of them under your care.”

“He told me he is courting the dressmaker.” The jealousy I experienced every time I thought of Mrs. Engel was unfounded. I had no right to covet Moran. We had an arrangement and I had to think about my future.

The chill from the shadowed street seeped into my bones. My outerwear wasn’t meant for such cold weather, but I had sold everything off to help feed my sisters.

Ash cast me a sideways glance, guiding me across the street. His breath fogged in the chilly air. “He went to lunch with her. He didn’t bed her.”

“I should hope not.” Realizing the harshness of my tone, I forced a laugh. “Connie was in attendance. I couldn’t imagine your mother condoning such behavior in front of her. From my understanding, you were there as well to meet her cousin.”

“She is a pleasant woman, I suppose. My mother doesn’t know about Suzette.” Regret tightened his jaw under the golden beard.

I nodded, understanding his plight. However, my dislike of the woman continued to simmer. “Why didn’t you tell her?”

“You’ve met my mother.” He flashed a self-deprecating smirk. Connie ruled the roost and her family kowtowed to her whims. “She would have insisted on meeting Suzette.”

“And Suzette refused to meet her?” It would make sense considering she had spurned Ash. I might be a touch prejudiced because of my growing affection for him. He was a good man who deserved someone who wanted to be with him.

“I never asked her.” Ash exhaled a long breath, the smile fading. His flirtatious demeanor was a facade he used to deflect from his heartache. “She is the courtesan to a member of the French consulate.”

The mystery of Suzette ran deeper than I suspected. I had been taught to revile women like her, simply because of her profession. Of course, I was taught that a woman married and didn’t work. Neither seemed fair to womankind. “Is she in love with him?”

“No. He is married and impotent and he keeps her in residence to entertain his friends. She wants to be a lady.” Bitterness twisted his lips, his steps lengthening in his agitation. The rakish air he carried was shed and the raw emotion peeked through.

“If he can’t marry her, how is that possible?” I tried to be understanding. Being a woman on my own, it was hard to make your dreams come true.

“Powerful men attend Alberto’s parties. He is very high up in the French government. I suspect most come to flirt with Suzette. She is a very beautiful woman.” Despite his upset, his love for her was real. Having never met her, I couldn’t say if she deserved his devotion or not. The easiest thing to do was to judge others by your own standards.

“I am sure she is special if she loves you.” I used to think that love was straightforward. Lately it had become clear that it was messy and complicated.

“Apparently, she didn’t love me enough.” The pain in his voice cut to the core.

His matter-of-fact delivery made my heart ache for him. I hugged his arm. “I am sorry. It must be very hard.”

Ash guided me through the intersection. He rallied himself, the haunted look disappearing. “It is, but at least I know she is alive. Unlike your husband. What did Mr. Worth think of raising your siblings?”

My apprehension increased and I reminded myself that Ash was my friend and my lover. It was natural for him to ask questions for that reason. As an inspector, curiosity came with the profession. “He had no qualms about it.”

“He sounds like a paragon of virtue.” His rich laughter floated in the breeze. He hid his earlier upset behind a mask of affability. “Unlike me.”

“You have some excellent qualities, as does Moran.” Kindness being one of them. Both men had seen to my every need, bringing me unbelievable pleasure in the process. I leaned into him under the pretext of avoiding one of many puddles. “You were both very solicitous to me, it was greatly appreciated.”

“You deserve to be pampered. How are you faring after our little romp?” The husky timbre of his voice cut right into my core. I pressed my side tighter to him, my breasts skimming his arm.

“I am faring well. Very well. And you?” The play this morning had been lively, with Moran buggering Ash while he pleasured me with his mouth. The memory fired my blood and I could barely stand the thought of being left out while they pursued their ongoing physical relationship.

“Nothing like a belly bump to start my day with.” He brushed a hand over his bearded chin. His profile to me, amusement wrinkled his eyes.

“Is that yet another innuendo?” I grinned, constantly entertained by his charming manners. Moran had a more brooding personality, while Ash tended to be the prankster. They complemented each other well.

“I am full of them.” He tapped at his temple, his smile widening. “According to Moran, that is not all I am full of.”

“To be technical, it was more of a rump ride than a belly bump.” My cheeks flamed at my bold statement. Just yesterday my eyes had been opened to a world I hadn’t known existed. What a difference a day brought.

“You cheeky bird.” Ash snapped his head around, brow lifted in surprise. He had very expressive face when his guard was down. “Is that where you got your nickname?”

“I was innocent until I began my friendship with you.” I had done things in the last twenty hours that I never imagined was possible. My boldness shocked even myself. I cherished every moment with Ash and Moran and I hoped for a repeat. “I fear you have corrupted me.”

Instead of laughing at my quip, the frown returned. Indecision reflected in his eyes. Milk Street was just ahead. Soon our time alone would be over.

“What is wrong? Did I say something to offend you?” I prayed I hadn’t. Friendships hadn’t come easily for me of late. I was no longer in contact with the few friends I’d had, due to the change in my situation. If they learned of my new life, they would no doubt shun me.

“No, not offend. I...” He stared ahead for a long moment before turning back to look at me. The air between us thickened and not because of the weather. “Last night, after you coupled with Moran, I removed his condom and found blood.”

My heart fell to my feet and I was glad for his strength. “He was bleeding there?” I asked, trying to hold the panic at bay. I should have factored in the signs of losing my virginity.

Sharp eyes inspected my face with a bit too much intensity. He had a knack for making me feel vulnerable in the face of his interrogation skills. “No, it was outside of the condom, not inside.”

The words hung between us, and I waited for him to grill me more.

Think of something! “I just ended my cycle the day before. I must have been spotting. Was he offended?” He didn’t seem so, but dark waters ran deep with Moran.

“No, he didn’t know.”

My mind crowded with questions. “Were you offended? It is a natural occurrence, after all.” One a man and a woman never spoke about. Ash didn’t seem to have any compunction discussing any matter of taboo subjects.

“No, of course not. I was simply concerned over your welfare.”

“Thank you for that.” The tension left my shoulders. He released my arm as we arrived at the boarding house, and I took out my key to unlock the front door. The hallway was chilly and dim. I was aware of him behind me, our footsteps creaking on the steps. Once on the landing, he cupped my elbow and turned me to face him, drawing me tight against his body.

I lifted my chin, eager for his kisses. Head tilted, he played his mouth over mine. The silkiness of his beard and the heat of his body drew me in. Muffled voices sounded from inside and I withdrew from the kiss. “I should go in.”

“I suppose you must. Will you be able to stay late tomorrow night?” He caressed my cheek with his thumb, reminding me of the delights I could find in his arms.

“I will need to check with Eloise first.” I wanted to say yes, but I had responsibilities other than my own carnal pleasures.

Offering a sensual grin, he stepped back and ran his hand behind his head. A natural flirt, Ash had the looks and personality to make a woman swoon. Of course, he was aware of the impact his charm had on me. “It is cold outside.”

“Are you hinting broadly to come in?” I asked, not eager for him to leave. “As you can smell, Ella is cooking. Would you like to stay for supper? We haven’t had much sustenance since last night.”

“I will and gladly.” He slipped his hand down my bottom as I inserted the key into the lock.

“Behave yourself.” The door swung open to reveal Violet in the doorframe.

“Bernice Rose Namath, where have you been?” She threw herself into my arms before I could respond. “We have been worried sick about you.”

My stomach dropped to my feet, every nerve at attention at the use of my full name. “I am sorry. I was stuck at the office and spent the night there to weather the storm.”

She pulled back, her gaze falling over my shoulder. “Inspector. You are back.”

“Good afternoon, Violet. I can assure you that your sister was safe the entire time.” Ash spoke to Violet in a compassionate tone, which gave me hope that he hadn’t put two and two together. Not that he should.

“I will be in shortly, please go back inside.” I schooled my features, trying to play off the encounter.

With a reluctant sigh, she did as I asked.

The second she disappeared inside, he clasped my elbow once more. In a lowered voice, he said, “We need to talk.”

My stomach twisted, and I fought the weakness in my knees. My time of reckoning had come, and I needed to keep my wits about me, else everything I had built would unravel.