Chapter Eighteen

L ord Tobias Moran

Left, right, left, right. The cadence of my hands hitting the boxing bag continued to ground my mind. The clock on my desk had already chimed the hour I had told Mrs. Worth to afford me. I was still apprehensive about giving her the manuscript, but I knew I would benefit from it. I wasn’t sure how I had come to trust her after such a short time, but I did.

The door to my office opened, and my head snapped around. I should have known better than to push myself past the hour. Mrs. Worth was nothing if not prompt. Thus, we were back to the exact situation in which we had found ourselves that first day.

My shoulders relaxed when I saw Ash close the door behind him. His intense regard locking on me, he twisted the lock. I probably should have done that before I came in. My nipples hardened at his perusal, and I lowered my arms. “I am glad to see you are still alive.”

“Some parts more alive than others.” By the husky timbre of his voice, he had passion on his mind. He approached with long, purposeful strides. Desire tightened the skin around his mouth. “Mrs. Worth said you hadn’t wished to be disturbed. She never said why.”

I removed my boxing gloves, my hands tight from the exercise. “The morning has been a challenge, thus I needed something to take the edge off.”

With a strong fingertip, he drew it along the vein running along my biceps. “I can help with that,” he offered.

While my cock wanted to ravish him, my mind was more cautious. “As tempting as that sounds, it isn’t wise.”

He slipped his palm up my shoulder to the nape of my neck. Leaning in, he licked a path along my throat. “Are you certain? You look very tempting right now and taste equally as mouthwatering.”

“And you sound rather desperate. What is going on?” As much as I wished for him to continue, something was off with him.

Ash lifted his head, frowning. “Why must something be wrong for me to desire you?”

“We had an agreement.”

“That was while I was in love with Suzette, and you were engaged to Elizabeth. Neither one of those is the case now. Thus, there is no reason why we can’t continue satisfying each other’s passions.”

“I want to agree with you. However, what happens when you fall in love again? Or I find someone to marry? Then we will be back to where we were before.” Weaning myself from him was very difficult. Desire, coupled with my love for him, made it hard to break our physical bond.

“When I fall in love again, and you find someone to marry.” He thumbed my jaw, his closeness making it hard to stay on track. “What an odd way of phrasing it.”

My stomach sank, and I debated what to say. I had been taught from a young age that marriage and love had nothing to do with one another. Ash had a different perspective. He came from a loving family with great affection for one another. His parents had fallen in love and were still in love to this day. My mother died in childbirth, and my father had been disowned by his brother. “Unlike you, I don’t expect to be in love with the woman I marry.” Nor would I allow myself to do so.

“What a very sad marriage you will have.” He tilted my chin and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my mouth. “I wish more for you. You deserve to marry someone you love and who understands you like I do.”

I yearned for more of his kisses and looped my arm around his neck, drawing him tight to me. My body in a heightened state, I wanted to allow the lust to overcome my reservations. Holding back hadn’t made a difference, and I missed his touch. So much for my good intentions. “That is a tall order. Nobody understands me like you do.”

“I understand that you have given Mrs. Worth an editing project.” With a laugh, he shook his head, his lips playing over mine before I could respond.

The reminder stiffened my spine and a stab of panic hit. I loosened my arm. Lust might be driving me, but common sense said to stop before it went too far. Somehow, it seemed disrespectful to Mrs. Worth to carry on right under her nose. “We must stop. She is in the other room, and the walls are thin.”

With a reluctant nod, he stepped back, his breathing ragged. Eyelids heavy, he sighed. “Fine, but I insist we pick up where we left off tonight after supper.”

I still wasn’t sure if it was wise, but was resigned to the inevitable. Old habits were hard to break and I carried great affection for him. “You’re here rather early. Did something happen?”

He pressed his lips together and nodded, his chest still rising and falling faster than normal from his earlier excitement. The greatcoat was unbuttoned and hung around his hips, the proof of his desire showing beneath the placard of his trousers. I tore my gaze away, not wanting to give in to temptation. It was bad enough that I was capitulating so quickly when I had been determined to keep him at a distance for both our sakes.

“I spoke to Stark today.” He sifted his hand through his hair, the mass disheveled from where I had run my fingers through it. “He asked me if I knew you, and I thought for a moment that he was going to announce that he was investigating you.”

“What did he say?” My gut twisted, and I clenched my hands, my knuckles sore from my earlier bout with the boxing bag. I kept a water pitcher and basin on a low table near the back window. Ever since Ash had told me about Stark being the new detective chief inspector, there had been a niggling in the back of my mind that they would find me out. I poured water into the basin and picked up a clean cloth. Wringing it out, I ran it along my chest and arms.

“You will laugh when I tell you.” Ash shook his head, dropping his hand from his hair. He took the cloth from my hand and moved behind me, running the cool wetness along my heated back. “He wants an autographed copy of Roth’s book for his mother. Apparently, she is a big fan of The Ghost of Mistletoe Manor and eagerly awaits the publication of Roth’s new novel.”

Relief sagged my shoulders, and I nodded, angling my head when his lips trailed a path along the back of my neck. With the rise of the sixpence novel, my publications became affordable to the masses, not just the privileged few, like my uncle and cousin. Mrs. Roth’s book was the anchor of my line. I had a short time to finish the edits and get it to the press for publication. Time was ticking by at an accelerated rate. Just thinking about the deadline sent my gaze to the pile of unfinished work. With a reluctant sigh, I stepped away from Ash and headed to my desk. If I didn’t distance myself, we’d be back where we were a few minutes ago. “I will gladly give him one once it’s ready to sell.”

“The department is cracking down on corruption, thus he will be paying for the book.” Ash followed me, his footsteps muted on the thick rug that covered the plank flooring. “There is something else.”

I snapped my head around at the graveness in his tone. “What happened?”

“I thought I saw Suzette.” His lips turned down in a grim line, and he settled his hands on his hips once more. “I chased after the woman, but in the end, it wasn’t her.”

Questions whirled in my head as I donned my shirt and slipped my arms into the sleeves. I used the cover of the fabric to hide my reaction. She had led him a merry chase before her departure.

While logically, I knew she experienced something very traumatic, the way she strung him along hadn’t sat well with me. It most likely had something to do with jealousy. “Earlier you told me that you were over her. Would you have tried to resume the love affair if it had been she?”

Earnest eyes locked with mine, daring me to say something. “Yes. My feelings for her haven’t changed.”

Everything inside said to chastise him, yet I kept my opinion to myself. Jealousy had intermingled with hope that my friend could have his heart’s desire.

“You don’t approve?” Ash eyed me with suspicion.

“I want whatever you want. If you feel she’s the woman for you and there’s a chance for you to find happiness, then I will support you.” I slipped on my waistcoat and fastened the brass buttons. If she was in France and he in England, I didn’t foresee it happening. “Your mother is eager to introduce me to a young lady she met at the dressmaker.”

My grandfather would roll over in his grave if he knew I was courting a commoner.

“Did you agree?” He cocked one eyebrow, his mouth open in shock. “Whatever has gotten into you of late?”

“I will tonight.” I was pleased that my earlier exercise had flushed my face, or he’d see the blush rushing up my neck. After my conversation with Mrs. Worth and my lustful night with Ash, I decided I needed to get my life on track once more. “My goal was to marry this year, and obviously, that failed to happen. I am thirty, and I want to start a family.” Something I had been deprived of. “Mrs. Engel owns the dressmaker’s shop with her cousin. Thus she understands the demands of running a business.”

“Now you sound like Mrs. Worth.” Ash glanced at the closed door before he returned his regard to me. “I would recommend you court her , however, she claims she’s still in love with her husband and isn’t interested in courting. Which is a shame. She’s a comely woman.”

Understanding dawned, and I clenched my jaw, a rush of anger sparking my temper. “Tell me you didn’t ask to step out with her after I asked you not to.”

An impish grin tilted his mouth. “Fine, I won’t.”

“I hope she wasn’t offended. I need her.” I hadn’t realized how much until she’d organized my office in a week. My other assistants hadn’t accomplished a tenth of what she’d done in the entire month they’d been employed.

“She wasn’t offended.” Ash put his hand to his chest, unabashed by my chastisement. “You infer I am some sort of letch bent on seduction.”

“ You are a letch bend on seduction.” I leaned in and swept my mouth over his smiling one before reluctantly withdrawing. “And I will be your willing victim tonight, with one caveat. You come with me to lunch and meet the dressmakers. I know you are still in love with Suzette, but you can at least pretend interest if for no other reason than I am terrible at social interactions.”

“Are you finally conceding to your greater passions and dropping your ridiculous rules?” He rocked back on his heels, the smile widening as he ignored my request.

Per usual, my heart picked up a tad at how it brightened his handsome countenance. A soft knock sounded at the door, and I could see Mrs. Worth’s outline behind the etched glass. “For now. As you said, both of us are bachelors. However, I will not concede unless you come with me.”

When he still hesitated, I added, “Please.”

“Fine, I will attend with you, but I still think you don’t need to look past that door.” He pointed over his shoulder, indicating the reception area.

Had things been different, I would have asked Mrs. Worth to step out. I liked her wit, and her curvaceous form was pleasing to the eye. Except she worked for me, which wasn’t conducive to courting, and if it didn’t work out, I would be back to where I started.