35. Adrianna

ADRIANNA

Avirgin.

A fucking virgin.

Those words were spoken to me on Saturday, and they still have me reeling now, on Monday morning, when I should be focused on the classes I have today.

Fuck.

It takes everything I have to try and push it all to the back of my mind, and even then, I come up short.

I can recall the soft smile that accompanied the words before he tossed all the excuses at me to take me home. I didn't argue, even though I really fucking wanted to, but it wasn't about my wants and needs, it was all about him.

I wanted to peek beneath his unbuttoned shirt, I wanted to trace his ink with my tongue, and I wanted to touch him in a way he never had before, but I chickened out in fear of scaring him off. I'm a lot, too much, really, especially if you've never…

Fuck.

He offered me the most wistful kiss at my front door, where another red rose was waiting, before disappearing like a dream I'd made up.

I know shifters keep everyone at arm's length, but seeing it and feeling it myself for the first time threw me off kilter. I haven't seen him since, but I know he'll be at breakfast this morning. I'm just praying things aren't awkward.

A knock sounds from my bedroom door, pulling me from my thoughts. I quickly throw on my gray cloak, letting it fall around my shoulders before opening the door to reveal Flora on the other side.

Her eyes are a little glazed over, her gaze off to the side, and I frown. "Hey, are you okay?"

She startles at my presence, even though she just knocked, before shaking her head and clearing her thoughts. "Oh, yeah, sorry, this was leaning against your door," she murmurs, her voice softer than usual as she offers me a long-stemmed red rose.

"Huh, twelve," I muse, taking it from her grasp to quickly add it to the vase. They all stand tall and pretty, the petals delicate and soft.

"Aren't you creeped out?" she asks, frowning at them until I step into the hallway and close the door behind me.

I shrug. "I was at first, but they're too pretty for me to stay mad," I admit, and she shakes her head. The color comes back to her face a little, but it still doesn't feel like she's her usual self. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She sighs, chin dipping to her chest. "Dammit, Addi, I just?—"

"There you both are. Ready for food?" Arlo hollers from halfway up the staircase. He rubs his lips together nervously as he scans his eyes over Flora, who quickly tucks a loose tendril of hair behind her ear, nodding.

There's a weird vibe between them, one I can't decipher, but as we move closer to him, I can sense that he's the cause of her dismay this morning.

We head downstairs in a strange silence that I have no control over as I make eyes at Flora. The sadness that dances beneath her lashes is like a swift punch to the gut. Whatever is troubling her involves him, and she needs me to step up and be the same kind of friend to her as she is to me.

"We need a girls' night," I declare as we reach the bottom of the stairs, and Arlo takes off to open the front door for us.

"Hell yeah, we do," she says with a gasp of excitement, squeezing my arm as she tries to contain the buzz the offer has given her.

"I can organize the hell out of it or?—"

"Please, I'd rather you didn't. I'll handle it. Your attendance will be exactly what I need. Are you free on Friday?" she asks, her voice a few octaves higher than moments ago, and it feels like it's at least giving her something to focus on.

"I'm free whenever you need me."

"Friday it is. It gives me time to prep," she explains, linking her arm through mine as we head along the pathway to the main academy.

"To prep?" I question, concern starting to make itself known as I peer at her, and Arlo scoffs.

"Oh, you have no idea what you've signed yourself up for." He grins, winking at Flora, which makes her cheeks stain pink.

"It'll be fun, I promise," she confirms, and I nod.

"I don't doubt it."

The silence that drapes over us for the rest of the walk is a lot more comfortable, even though there's a strange sort of distance between them. If she wants to tell me about it, she can, if not, then I'll be here for whatever else she needs. It's about time I repaid the favor.

Stepping into the dining hall, my gaze drifts to the table in the center of the room, where Cassian, Raiden, Brody, and Kryll are already seated. I join Flora and Arlo at the food station, opting for my usual eggs and bacon, before heading toward the four assholes that cause a stir inside of me one way or another.

I take my newly assigned seat between Raiden and Kryll, giving the vampire on my left the cold shoulder as Kryll turns to me with a soft, nervous smile.

"Hey, how are you?" I ask, feeling completely awkward as my tongue peeks out to sweep along my bottom lip. It does nothing to quench the dryness forming, and my throat tightens with every swallow.

"He's fine. Why do you ask?" Raiden interjects, answering for him, and I frown. Turning to him with a deathly glare and a finger pointed in his direction, I huff.

"I'm not talking to you."

Before I can whip my head back around, his eyebrows gather in confusion. "You just did."

Semantics. Asshole.

I roll my eyes and turn back to my plate, peering at Kryll out of the corner of my eye, who smirks as he shovels a fork full of food into his mouth.

"Why aren't you talking to me?" Raiden pushes, but I ignore him, tilting my face to Kryll again.

"Kryll," I start, ready to ask him again, but he cuts me off.

"I'm good, Princess," he breathes, his voice raspy like Saturday night, and I can't help but nip at my bottom lip to keep my mouth shut so I don't say anything stupid.

"Hey, I'm talking to you," Raiden calls out, tapping at my shoulder, but I don't turn to face him.

"And I'm talking to Kryll. Take the hint," I retort, making the vampire eager for my attention sigh in exasperation.

"Did I miss something?" Raiden quizzes, but I ignore him.

Brody snickers, winking at me from across the table before settling his gaze on Raiden. "You miss everything."

Flora blurts out a giggle and quickly claps a hand over her mouth as I decide to take a bite of my bacon so, again, I don't say anything stupid.

"Can we just fucking eat," Cassian snaps, nostrils flared as he narrows his eyes at us.

"Cassian is so sweet with his words," Brody says in a high-pitched voice, all whimsical and delicate.

"Fuck off, Brody," Cassian snarls, earning an eye roll from the mage, and I can't help but smirk at their constant back and forth.

We eat in silence, but I'm completely alight with Kryll's thigh pressed against mine. It's there on purpose; I know it is, but I feel too shy to turn and look at him for confirmation.

What the hell is he doing to me?

I thought he was the virgin, not me.

Taking my last bite of food, I stand, eager to put a little space between me and these guys. Cassian, because his constant growling is stressful yet hot at the same time. Brody, because all I can think about when I look at him is how he fucked me in his room. Kryll, because all I want to do is see him naked and have a piece of him no one else has, which is the most selfish shit I've ever heard, nevermind thought. And Raiden, because he's the biggest asshole out of all of them and he doesn't even see it.

"Honestly, what the fuck did I do?" Raiden blurts, grabbing onto my wrist as I go to take a step away from the table. Glancing down at where his fingers wrap around my skin, I follow his arm all the way until my gaze settles on his.

The fact that he doesn't realize it all on his own only serves to irritate me. "You left me standing in the middle of the dance floor with an entire fucking audience while Vallie and her fucking father laid into me because of you, yet the topic of conversation was nowhere to be found," I snap, the anger that I've contained over the matter since Saturday night finally unleashing itself.

"I was?—"

I wave him off, interrupting before he can give me any of his bullshit excuses. "I don't care. Whatever you say won't go back and change the fact that it happened, and I can't shake the irritation I feel toward you because of it," I admit, yanking my wrist from his grasp, which only makes his gaze grow darker.

"That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair, asshole. Get over it," I retort with a shrug, spinning away from the table.

Flora and Arlo stand alongside me, sauntering from the room without a backward glance as I try to ease the tightness in my chest and the spike in my heart rate.

"You guys give me life. It's too entertaining," Arlo says with a chuckle before earning a whack to the gut from Flora.

"Arlo, shut up," she whisper-yells, making me grin, and some of the tension radiating through me subsides.

There's a little pep in my step as I remember that we have combat class first thing this morning, which will be the perfect way for me to release all these pent-up feelings. My steps falter when we enter the field and find Professor Tora, Kryll's brother.

It's a good thing he doesn't have mind powers, so he can't see what I think about his brother. As if sensing my thoughts about the matter, his gaze spins my way, eyes locking on mine for a moment as he assesses me before turning back to the student he's in a conversation with.

What the fuck was that?

He can't read my thoughts, right?

"Everybody hurry up and gather round. Today is going to hit you in the face so hard and fast, you're going to end up with whiplash, so I'd like to get on with it sooner rather than later," Tora hollers, and I join the other students, forming a circle around him.

"I don't like the sound of this," Flora whispers, panic in her voice, and it startles me to realize not everyone is pumped and ready to go with whatever he throws at us.

Glancing around at the other students, I notice the same level of uncertainty and weariness.

It's me. I'm the odd one.

I sense somebody shifting up to my left side, and I'm not surprised in the slightest when I see it's Raiden. Rolling my eyes, I turn away from him, focusing on Professor Tora as he continues to explain the lesson for the day.

"Now that the ball is out of the way, I can focus more on the trials. Which means we're going to experience one today."

Holy shit.

My fingers flex at my sides as I refrain from bouncing on the balls of my feet. Gasps echo around me, worried murmurs ringing in my ears, but all I feel is adrenaline coursing through my veins with a glint of excitement.

"Practice trial number one is all about resources, coordination, and working with others to return safely," Tora explains, circling his gaze around the gathered students, making sure everyone understands the objective.

"Return from where?" Vallie asks, a level of exasperation parting her lips that only she can produce.

"Evermore."