24. Adrianna

ADRIANNA

Two days. It's been two days, and I can still feel the remnants of Brody between my thighs.

Fuck.

That's not what I'd gone over there for—not even a little bit—it just happened, just like the last time and just like every time Cassian has claimed me. So much for not focusing on them and giving all of my attention to being the next heir.

It seems I'm a liar when it comes to them, and I can't even blame them for everything. I'm just as accountable.

My mind is consumed with it all as I sit here staring at the eight roses that now fill my handmade vase, and I can't help but wonder who they're coming from. Shaking my head, I rise from my bed and try to put it to the back of my mind. It doesn't matter, really; it means nothing, all of it. Brody, Cassian, Raiden, Kryll, and mystery rose guy. I have to be focused on the future, even though I keep trying and failing.

Perseverance is my best friend; I hope I'll eventually reach the end goal. My spine tingles and I'm certain I won't be able to avoid them like I intend.

Stepping toward my window, I plant my hands on the ledge as I peer out at the world. I can see a few groups of people heading toward the main academy building for dinner, and I'll be joining them in a few minutes when I head over with Flora.

My guard is still up, anticipation clinging to me, but no one has tried to attack me in the past few days. Which feels like a positive, even though the wide berth I continue to get is noticeable. I like it, but in the grand scheme of things, it's the opposite of what I need, especially if I want to be the new heir to the kingdom.

If I want to lead, I need to show the students on campus, as well as the rest of the kingdom, that I can. It's going to take them a minute to warm up to that, if at all, but regardless, I'm here to prove that mistakes can be made and recovery can be a reality at the hands of the fae. I'm here to earn their trust because that's what is vital when it really boils down to the core.

Glancing at the time, I slip my boots on before reaching for my cloak. The plan is to eat, then head back to Flora's for some girl time. Which is the code word for watching The Office again, but sans Arlo, whom I've learned spends the entire time speaking the words over the show because he's watched it so many times.

Checking myself in the mirror, I pat a few loose curls down and tighten the pins holding my hair in place. Ready for food, I've taken a single step toward the door when my cell phone vibrates. My eyebrows rise as I glance around the room. Has Nora got a visual on me or something? It seems every time I take a step toward the door lately, the damn thing goes off.

I slide my nightstand drawer open, expecting to see her name flashing across the screen, but to my surprise, it's my father.

"Hey, is everything okay?" I ask, more panicked with him on the other end of the cell phone than if it was Nora.

"Everything's fine, Addi. How is everything there?" he asks, concern etched into every syllable.

"Okay," I answer, taking a seat at the foot of my bed as the initial anxiety subsides.

"Just okay?" he asks, and it feels like the gem at my back burns more, reminding me it's there.

"Nothing else has really happened since Bozzelli gave me the kiss of amethyst," I admit, hearing him sigh through the line. Not at me, but with disappointment at the situation. I've heard it many times, enough to decipher between the two. When the former king of the kingdom is trying to teach you everything at such a young age, you get a lot of heavy sighs of exasperation, and the one he just let loose definitely wasn't it.

"That's what I'm calling for. I'm sorry, it would have been sooner, but I didn't want Nora to be here," he explains, making my eyebrows pinch.

"Why? Where is she?"

It's a stupid question, really. All either of us ever does is protect her, even if it is against her will.

"I just don't want her to worry more over you than she already is, and she's in the meadow with Talia. I can see her from the top window, don't worry," he adds, and I exhale slowly.

Talia is the girl from the neighboring farm and Josh's younger sister. The stupid guy Nora often likes to remind me of. They've always been friendly, playing while I trained, so I know she's in good company.

"I guess that makes sense," I reply, relating to not wanting her to worry, and he flusters through the line.

"Hey, I make sense all of the time. You're saying that like I don't," he grumbles, and I grin.

"Whatever you say, old man."

"Old man? I'll give you old man," he threatens with a scoff, and I snicker. "I miss you," he breathes, and my smile becomes weighted with the same feeling.

"I miss you too."

We knew we would have to be apart, but this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing my father and Nora, and it's harder than I thought it would be. Not that I would tell them that. It would only inflict more worry on them.

"How was it?" he asks, his voice low and nervous, making me frown.

"How was what?"

"Seeing her." Understanding instantly washes over me and my heart clenches.

I try to swallow past the lump lodged in my throat, but it's useless. "Unexpected," I rasp, clearing my throat.

"I can imagine it was."

"Honestly, I would have expected to see you there before her," I admit, taking a deep breath to ease the rising tension.

"I'm sure."

Silence hangs in the air, and in that seemingly-eternal moment, my father holds all the control. He's always been like this, giving me the silence and space to think about how I feel so I can express it in its truest form.

"I'm torn over it all," I admit.

"What do you mean?" he asks, keeping his question light and open as I try to decipher what has my chest twisted in a knot.

"I don't feel compelled to go and save her, and I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not." I exhale the biggest breath, realizing the weight of what's been riding my shoulders.

He clears his throat and I imagine him wiping a hand down his face. "She doesn't need saving, Addi."

"She doesn't?" My body stiffens, another frown marking my forehead.

"She chose to be there. She chose to be with them."

"Oh."

I don't know how that makes me feel, either. She chose to be there instead of with her family? It's times like this that I hate the fact that we haven't spoken more freely about her. But in the same breath, why bother when she chose something else anyway?

I'm aware she's always been connected to the downfall of the kingdom, but as much as I hate her, I've never dared to find out the truth.

"Did you know she was there the entire time?" I ask. It's the deepest question I've ever asked about her, and I instantly hate it.

"I guessed, but I was never certain. When we ran, I didn't look. There was no need. If she wanted to be with us, she would have run too."

My eyebrows knit in confusion, but I refuse to delve deeper when it comes to her. My mind refuses, shutting me off. Instead, I'm focusing on something else entirely. "So it doesn't make me a bad heir to not worry about the safety of someone in the kingdom?"

"Oh, Addi. No. Far from it. Being a leader isn't all sunshine and roses. There's always something ugly around the corner, things we don't want to face or have to handle, along with bad decisions we don't want to make for the greater good. But the fact that you question that, the fact that you consider the kingdom as well as yourself, is what makes you a worthy heir."

My chest tingles with the praise from my father, easing the self-doubt threatening to creep in.

"Thanks, Dad." A knock on the door interrupts our call. "Sorry, Dad. My friend is here. We're going for dinner," I explain, and his voice chirps up.

"Of course, I won't keep you. I just wanted to mention the kiss of amethyst," he states as I open the door to see Flora on the other side. She smiles but instantly panics when she sees I'm on a call. I smile back, holding a finger up for her to give me a second, and she nods.

"What about it?" I ask, averting my gaze from Flora as my father speaks. My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I listen, unsure of what he's telling me. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, Addi. I banned it, remember? I know enough."

I nod even though he can't see me. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, you go, try and have fun. I love you."

"I love you too," I breathe, ending the call.

I look down at the device, still a little bewildered by the entire conversation, when Flora clears her throat, pulling me from my head.

"Are you ready to go, or do you need a minute?" she asks, and I hurry to put my cell phone away before I step out into the hall with her.

"I'm absolutely starving, let's go."