19. Steph

CHAPTER 19

Steph

Spending time with Ollie outside of the doctor’s appointment was probably a bad idea. Scratch that. It was most assuredly a bad idea.

He had a way of getting under my skin and filling me up with all the warmth and feelings that had been dormant for months. I didn’t want to give him the power to seduce me into believing his every word again. He had a powerful way about him. When my husband spoke, you wanted to listen, to believe him. It was why he was so good at business. It was probably why he hadn’t gone bankrupt in the wake of the on-going Jia scandal. I wasn’t the only one who fell for his charms. I was just the one person who needed continual reminders that it wasn’t good for me to do so.

When we finally rolled into my driveway, I saw Ollie’s eyes widen and his jaw drop. “You bought this place?”

“Yes, why are you so surprised?”

“I’m not surprised so much as…” He shook off whatever thought he’d been about to express and it made me irrationally angry.

“As what?” I snapped.

His head shot around so that our eyes met. “You don’t understand. When this place was first on the market a few years ago, I looked at it. I wanted this to be the place where we built our family, but it was a little far out of town and I didn’t want you to have to commute to the other side of town for work all the time, especially in the winter when it snows.”

“Oh,” I whispered. “Well, I loved the house the first time I saw the listing, but in person it was so much better.” I hesitated with what I was about to say and then chastised myself for it, considering I’d just snapped at him for the same thing. “I’m glad you didn’t buy it back then.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t stomach staying in our old house. I’d hate for that to have happened with this one. This place truly is a dream.”

“Are you going to take me inside and show me around?”

“Maybe. First, I’m going to take you inside and straight to the kitchen, so we can eat because I’m starved.”

I wish I could say I gracefully hopped out of the car then, but in reality it probably looked more like the thirtieth cramped clown finally getting to exit the car they’d been stuffed into. Everything ached and my body was cumbersome in places that made moving difficult. The problem with that was every time I got used to it, the damn thing grew some more. My belly, boobs, ass, thighs… Pretty much my entire being ballooned on a near daily basis and made me have to readjust for the new weight distribution.

After we ate, I walked Ollie through the house. “This is exactly like I thought it would be,” he commented for what had to be the fourth time when we made our way through each room.

“I bet Den loves this room.” The smile on his face as he took in what I’d done for our boy made me grin in return.

“He loved it. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you about it.”

“I think he’s afraid of either hurting my feelings or breaking your trust. He doesn’t tell me much about being here besides the fact that he loves you and your new house.”

“I hate that he has to feel so guarded about our life. He shouldn’t be guarded at nearly 9-years-old.”

“I agree. That’s something I’m working on with him.”

“I will too. He was never told to keep anything a secret.” I felt as though there was something for me to prove, since I hadn’t realized that Den was keeping things from his father. “I didn’t even tell him not to tell you where the house was. I swear, Ollie, I would never put him in that position.”

“I never thought you did.” He patted my hand reassuringly but I couldn’t help wondering how much damage we’d each inflicted on Denmark as our relationship crashed and burned. I thought we’d hidden the worst of it, but of course, that had been impossible with all the media coverage. Den couldn’t go to school without hearing someone’s commentary on the matter, especially since his stepmom was suing the very school he attended for wrongful termination.

“What about that room?” Ollie asked as he indicated the master bedroom across the hallway.

“That’s mine.” I ignored his curious glances and instead walked further down the hallway. There was no way I could show him into my bedroom. It was my private space. “This is the nursery,” I stated when I came to the room next to mine. There was a door that joined the two, but I would make sure he didn’t open that door when I showed him.

Ollie moved into the space that was still unfinished. The crib sat off to the side, in pieces. I had attempted to put it together after Steve and Hutch dropped it off for me. Neither of them had the time to put it together that day. “Steve and Hutch are supposed to put it together for me, but they’ve been rather busy with work.”

“I can do it,” Ollie offered.

“Put a crib together?” I asked, not necessarily ready to trust his building skills, considering I’d never seen him put them to use in our four years we were together.

“Yeah, sure. I built Den’s. I was going to offer that up to you. I hadn’t realized you bought furniture for the nursery yet.”

“It’s okay. You should keep the other crib for wherever you’ll be living when the baby gets here.”

“I’ll just leave it at my mom’s.” He stated and then turned back to the crib parts. “Did you try to do it yourself?”

When I nodded. He turned a harsh glare my way. I took a step back from him. Not that I thought he would hurt me, but it was rare to see Ollie give me that look.

“You can’t do things like that Steph. I know you’re normally capable, but you’re pregnant right now.”

I sighed in understanding. “I know. That’s why it is all still sitting there in pieces. Just getting it all out of the box wore me out.”

Ollie snickered in response. “You shouldn’t have done that much.” He glanced around and then noticed my little tool kit off to the side. “This will have to do, I guess.” He scrunched his nose up at the pink bag full of pink-handled tools and it was my turn to laugh at his expense.

“They work just like red, blue, and black handled ones,” I teased.

He smirked, but tipped his head back toward the glider rocking chair in the corner. “Take a load off while I get this done. If you want to talk while I work, that’s fine. If not, we’ll just exist in the same space while I tick one more thing off your list.”

Ollie went to work as I sat in the chair and watched. True to his word, he didn’t say anything to me. The longer I watched him work, the more questions I had.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“Took the day off.”

“Oh.” Last I heard he had been struggling to salvage his company from the fallout, but I figured all was well enough, since there had been no news about his company going under. “Is everything okay with work?”

“We’re not where we used to be, but I think everything will be okay eventually.” His back and shoulder muscles bunched, flexed, and then relaxed as he continued to piece together the crib.

“The trial coming up won’t hurt you all over again?”

Ollie stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me. “The only thing I worry about that fucking trial harming is you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” He sighed and then turned so that he could crawl on his hands and knees to where I sat in the chair. “I don’t want anything that bitch might say to harm you. I don’t want that video getting out to the public, so that other people might be able to throw it in your face. What I said. What I did. It was all inexcusable. None of that should come back on you.”

“I’ve already seen it. It’s not like it would be new material.”

“It would be new to the public, and they have a way of stoking the fires when it comes to things like that. Caleb has already warned me that there have been some hefty offers for anyone who might get their hands on that tape.”

“You said you still have my old cell phone?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, the video is on there. I think maybe I should cash in on this while the getting is good.”

Ollie’s eyes widened in shock at first and then he laughed. I giggled along with him. I’d never follow through with selling his sex tape because he was right, it would hurt me the most, and in the long run, our children.

Ollie leaned in and stared at my protruding stomach for a few minutes before his eyes came back up to meet mine. “Can I?” He asked so gently, I almost didn’t comprehend what he meant by that simple question. Eventually, I nodded and his hands immediately moved to my belly. “Hey there,” he said to my belly. “A few months from now, we’re going to meet. Don’t worry, I’m working on fixing everything that I broke before that happens. Your mom is going to divorce me though. There’s no question about that. When she’s ready though, I’m going to prove to her that I have fallen for her in every way. When she believes me again, you can help me ask her to marry me for real.”

“Ollie,” I whispered.

“Shh, this is a conversation between me and our child. You’re going to have to wait your turn.” His teasing tone made me smile.

“I need you to know that I love you. You and your brother mean the world to me, but your mom, she’s something special. So, you do me a favor and don’t give her too much trouble in there, okay? She’s been through enough already. When you get here, you’ll see. She’s everything you could wish for in a mom, and I hope you turn out more like her than me.”

“Ollie,” I whispered his name again. He leaned forward to place a kiss on my belly just as the baby kicked out.

“Yeah, okay. I guess I deserved to be kicked in the face for what I put your mom through.”

We both chuckled at the timing as I reached out and brushed his hair back. “Your hair is getting long.”

“Haven’t been able to get in for a cut lately.”

“Are you that busy at work?”

“Nah. Last time I was there, my hairdresser threatened to stab me with the scissors for what I put you through. Apparently, she was cheated on by her baby’s father, too.”

“Aw, that’s sweet that she wanted to get justice for me.” I thought about that as Ollie pouted and leaned his head into my fingers that massaged his scalp. “I guess it was probably more for her and you were a stand in for the person who wronged her.”

“Something like that.” Ollie moaned as I dug my fingers into his scalp.

“I could always cut it for you.” His worried eyes met mine.

“No, I don’t think we’re quite back to a place where sharp objects should be wielded so close to my head.”

I laughed again and then playfully pushed him away.

“Go finish that crib then.”

As Ollie moved back to the task at hand he turned around and met my eyes again. “If you could have one wish come true, what would it be?”

“To be divorced,” I replied without hesitation.

Ollie’s eyes cast downward to the floor and I watched as his shoulders dropped under the weight of my quick response.

“When we married, you had an agenda and I only had love in my heart. We weren’t equal going into this marriage. Not even close. It doesn’t matter what you grew to feel for me. It only matters that our whole union feels dirty somehow because of it.”

He seemed lost in thought for a while and then he finally moved his attention back to me. “I don’t blame you. We didn’t start in the greatest of places, on equal footing. You’re right. I’d change that if I could, but since I can’t, I’ll try to grant your wish as soon as possible.”

“Okay.” I wasn’t sure how to feel about him finally giving in and refusing to fight. Part of me was relieved, but a larger part was saddened by that fact.

I sat back and watched as he quietly finished putting the pieces together until a beautiful crib with a pale, buttery wood stain stood proudly against the wall where there had once only been parts. He built it without complaint, even after I told him that my one wish was to be divorced from him.

He got to his feet and gathered up all the garbage that was left, but before he left the room, Ollie glanced back at me. “Hey Steph?”

“Yeah?” I choked out.

“When you’re finally a free, single woman again, I hope you’ll consider dating this guy I know.” I offered him a weak smile, not sure where he was going with this. “He’s a bit of a fuckup, but he’s learned from his mistakes. Those regrettable fucking mistakes that ruined the good thing he once had. I hope you won’t hold them against him forever because he’s so fuckin’ in love with you that it hurts.” Ollie’s palm massaged over his chest where his heart lay beating beneath.

“You’ll have to tell that guy that I can’t possibly start anything new while I’m still married. It wouldn’t be a wise thing to do. Maybe he should come see me after I’m officially divorced.”

“He will.”