Chapter 13

Chapter

Thirteen

Jacey was embarrassed by her behavior and only a little bit mollified that Cade was drawn to her. His words rang through her brain. She could picture him and hear his voice in her head perfectly. Maybe that was because spending time with him was the only solid memories she possessed. Maybe it was because he enthralled her, was taking care of her, she needed him, and she felt he was her perfect fit.

Sweetheart. I'm saying I've never been around a woman so enticing in my thirty years and if you don't march back across the hallway, slam that door, and lock it, maybe shove a dresser in front of it, we're both going to regret it.

She got chills just thinking of those words in his husky voice and that raw desire in his green eyes. Whew. He was interested in her, no doubt, but he was too honorable to kiss her. He'd regret kissing her if he did. Even worse, he thought kissing her wasn't honorable because of her memory loss and their situation and had asked her not to ask that of him .

Jacey wanted to call Quaid and ask him to give her chosen bodyguard permission to kiss her any time he wanted.

She smiled as she got ready for bed and lay down. Cade had helped her change out the sheets after they came back from the horseback ride and changed their clothes. She'd almost protested that she wanted the sheets to smell like him. He would have probably thought she was being unsanitary.

She said her prayers, full of thanks for Cade and prayers for her mother to be caught and Quaid and Anna and Quaid's friends and all the Colevilles and Cade and his family to be safe. She did not pray for her memory to return.

The snippets Quaid had shared were too horrific to comprehend. She was becoming more convinced her poor brain had shut the memories out to give her a respite from her horrific past and family life.

Lying there in Cade's bed, she was relieved she felt safe and secure. It would not have gone over well if she had stormed into the guest room and told him she was having come-apart number twenty of the day and needed those strong arms around her. She shivered at the thought. He wouldn't refuse her. She knew he wouldn't.

Tempted could not begin to describe her thoughts then.

Please help me , she begged heaven above, knowing Cade was right about staying pure and avoiding the tempting situation.

I wouldn't hang out at the bar if I was an alcoholic.

It struck her as a cute saying, but it typified Cade. He was in control. He was impressive. He was everything she wanted in a man. She thought.

Closing her eyes, she prayed for sleep.

The next morning dawned sunny and bright. Jacey stretched on the comfortable and very large bed. Cade could have slept on the other side and never touched her.

No. She wanted him to touch her.

Movement came from downstairs.

Slipping out of bed, she hurried to dress and rushed downstairs. Cade was not in the main room. She darted toward the mud room where she had left her shoes last night. Cade, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, was slipping on his cowboy boots when she burst in.

"Whoa!" Cade reared back and stood, grasping her arms with his palms. "Everything okay, sw … Jacey?"

"Yes." She wished he had added the sweetheart. "I don't want you to leave me." She didn't like revealing her vulnerability.

"I won't leave you," he pledged, his hands firm and warm on her arms. "I was hoping you could sleep in and get your rest while I did the morning chores."

"No. Please. I want to be by your side."

He smiled gently at her, his thumbs trailing across her bare skin and her stomach hopping. His smile disappeared. "Did you not sleep? Were you afraid in the night?" He pushed out a heavy breath. "If you need me to sleep on the floor, I can. I didn't mean to intone that I have no self-control."

Jacey stared into his green eyes, tempted. She would admit how deeply she needed him, not on the floor but holding her close. She would cuddle into the muscles of his chest and sleep as if she were on a cloud.

"I know you have self-control," she said. Obviously. He had resisted kissing her multiple times yesterday. She'd feared he didn't want to kiss her, but then he'd admitted last night that was not it at all. "I slept fine," she admitted. "I wasn't afraid."

"Oh." He appeared a little disappointed as well. He released her and said, "Do you want to eat or drink something? I can do the feeding and then come back in and make a big breakfast."

"I'm good. I will stick next to you like glue."

"All right." His smile returned, and she looked forward to this day with him.

The day was almost perfect. They did chores. They made each meal, ate and cleaned up together, then went on a long horseback ride, a long walk, and he taught her how to shoot. Unfortunately, she was all right at it and there was no call for him to wrap his arms around her and steady her like she had envisioned.

She didn't break down in tears once or stress often about her evil mother coming to retrieve her and hurt Cade. She was able to talk to Quaid on the phone. Quaid was short on time so they didn't get into more details from her past. He admitted he had mixed feelings about her memory returning. Their childhood and teenage years had been horrific, and maybe it was a blessing she couldn't remember. She wondered if she was repressing the memories somehow. Neither of them knew what the right path was. They did pray together before he hung up, and she appreciated that.

The only problem with the day was Cade was more cautious with her. He had told her today would be better than yesterday, but he didn't touch her very often, he didn't call her sweetheart, and he definitely didn't kiss her .

The next few days were more of the same. They did chores and she talked him into doing other ‘normal' projects around the ranch, yard, and house with her. He seemed to think she couldn't get dirt under her fingernails. She tried to convince him differently. She felt at home here and especially with him. He had to kill a wolf and two more coyotes and fix some fence line. Thankfully, no more calves had been ripped apart. She handled it all well. She thought. They talked easily, and she loved teasing and laughing with him, working or playing with him. Besides being with Cade, riding horses was the highlight of her days.

On the evening of the fourth day, Cade was cooking taco meat and fresh tortillas while she mixed guacamole. He kept expressing his admiration that she could cook and she wanted to work. She'd tease she wasn't a spoiled princess. Then he'd point at her pink hat, Not Your Princess, and they'd laugh. She wished he would trail his fingers through her hair like he had that first day.

A ping on the phone announced a vehicle coming up the canyon. She almost darted to hide in the laundry room, but Cade pulled out the phone and clicked on the app that showed the sensors and cameras. "It's Clint," he told her.

"Oh. Okay." Why the personal visit instead of the telephone? The Colevilles called regularly.

About fifteen minutes later, another ping and then the truck rolled into the yard. The truck stopped. She could see Clint through the evening sun carrying a load of groceries and another full platter of sweet treats. The previous platter was still half full. The chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies, pumpkin spice and banana bread were all delicious but could have kept a family of boys happy for days. The Coleville boys probably adored their mama's cooking. She was fascinated by the idea of a mother who loved and doted on her children. She wanted to meet Mama Millie but wouldn't leave Cade's home for anything.

Cade hurried over and opened the door for Clint.

"Thanks," Clint grunted.

Cade eased out of his way and shut the door behind him. Then he followed him to the counter.

"How are you both holding up?" Clint asked, setting down the platter first and then unloading all the grocery bags around it.

"Good," Jacey answered for them. She looked to Cade.

"Really great." Cade went around the counter, covered the seasoned beef, and turned off the burner. Then he unplugged the griddle and used a spatula to toss the tortillas from the griddle to a plate.

"Good, good." Clint flexed and unflexed his fingers, as if he didn't know what to do with his hands. "I know you've talked to Quaid and things are slow, but they think they're making progress. They've tracked some of Catherine's men scouting out Quaid's location. Hopefully that means she'll make a move or show her face soon."

"I hope so," Jacey managed. She did not want Quaid or his friends in danger and she did not want to leave Cade. She did want her mother locked up.

"Any memories coming back?" Clint asked. "Doc thinks they should be back by now."

She shrugged. Was it her fault she didn't want her memories back? She definitely wasn't trying to search up memories. She talked to Quaid about a lot of things, but after that first day she didn't ask about their family or their past. He seemed hesitant to bring it up and hurt her. They talked about Anna and her children often. She wanted to meet her sister-in-law. Again. Anna and Quaid were the only memories she wanted back.

"Thank you for all of this." Jacey motioned to the food to change the subject. "Your mama is an incredible cook. We have treats left from the last platter." She gestured to the counter behind her and grimaced.

"Don't feel bad throwing something away." Clint smiled. "Mama thinks it's ten full-grown men up here, not a dainty girl and Cade."

"I am not dainty," she protested.

Both men raised their hands, looked at each other, and then laughed.

Jacey tried for mock outrage, but there was something about these two laughing together. Long-lost friends reunited. Then their laughter abruptly stopped and the kitchen fell silent.

"Cade." Clint swallowed and studied the grain in the cabinet's wood. "There's something I need to say to you. Do you mind stepping outside with me?"

Jacey's heart sped up. Wasn't the whole ‘let's take it outside' thing code for let us go pummel each other?

"Is that necessary? Can we not work this out peaceably?" Jacey asked.

Cade laughed and then Clint laughed and then they were both laughing. At her?

"Well," she snipped, folding her arms across her chest. "I do not know why me avoiding a brawl between you is hilarious."

"Well," Clint drawled out, looking at Cade. "I don't know what Cade's shared with you about us."

He paused and Jacey got uncomfortable. "Nothing," she said.

Clint's brows went up. They'd been virtually alone for four days and talked a lot, but Cade had avoided sharing anything about Clint or the woman they both apparently loved.

"Oh." He nodded and rubbed at his jaw. "I was going to step outside so I could talk to Cade and not air any dirty laundry that he didn't want aired."

"Thank you," Cade said. "That's … considerate of you."

Clint only nodded.

"Well." Jacey put her hands up. "Forbid me interrupting dirty laundry airing."

Cade laughed and rubbed at his neck. "Thank you for understanding." He met her gaze and his green eyes said he was grateful.

Maybe she shouldn't know every detail of his life, but she wanted him to trust her and tell her. The woman these two men had loved hurt both of them deeply.

"I will put away the groceries and finish preparing dinner. Clint, will you eat with us?"

"Oh, no thank you, Jacey, but I do appreciate the offer."

"Anytime." It was intriguing that she felt as if this was her home and she could offer a former friend of Cade's to stay for dinner.

They both nodded to her, picked up their hats, and strode out the front door.