Chapter 30

Daisy

Hart thinks he knows me but he doesn’t.

Especially the part where I don’t quit. Sure, I’ve told him repeatedly, but he doesn’t believe me. He’s a sceptic. Considering what he showed me at the skate park, I don’t blame him.

As we walk back to the hotel, I don’t argue or plead with him. It’s not the time. His emotions are raw and I can’t talk past the tears clogging my throat, so we stride in silence. He’s walking fast, like he can’t wait to ditch me, and I keep up because I’m too scared that if I release his hand he’ll bolt.

He has revealed so much of himself, expecting me to walk away. But I can’t. I won’t.

I love him.

I don’t give up on the people I love.

He taught me that.

Not my family, not Casper, him. By doing his utmost to push me away, he’s opened my eyes to how determined I can be when I really want something.

He expects me to walk away, so I’ll prove my love by doing the exact opposite. I won’t quit. Not this time.

I won’t give up on Hart like all the other people in his life.

When we reach the hotel, he pauses outside and tries to slip his hand out of mine. I tighten my grip.

Adlers don’t quit, Daisy.I’ve never been so happy to hear Dad’s annoying voice in my head. It gives me the courage to face the next ten minutes; a short snapshot in time but one that will shape my future. Our future, hopefully.

‘I need to show you something in the room and then if you still want to leave, you can leave.’ I sound remarkably calm for someone wanting to blubber because I’m filled with uncertainty and fear.

Hart’s past has shaped him, I get that, like mine has influenced me. I want him in my life. Not because I see him as a challenge not to quit from, but because he makes me feel happier than I’ve ever been. Despite his moods and his recalcitrance, I know deep down he’s the one I want to be with and that’s worth fighting for.

If I wasted my time and energy fighting for Casper and our empty relationship, I’m certainly willing to do whatever it takes to convince Hart we’re meant to be together.

‘Come upstairs for a minute.’ I tug on his hand, more insistently this time.

He stares at me for an eternity, his eyes inscrutable. ‘I can’t—’

‘You owe me that much.’

‘Fuck.’ He wrenches his gaze away and stares over my shoulder, indecision twisting his mouth.

When he doesn’t make a move to leave, I squeeze his hand. ‘It won’t take long.’

It’s too early for relief, not until I see this through until the end, but at least we climb those interminable stairs to our room, where I’ve left my stuff, including my laptop.

When we enter the room I release his hand and wish I could take a quick swig from the minibar for fortitude. He doesn’t sit and I don’t either as I fire up my laptop on the desk in the corner.

‘Whatever you’re doing, Daisy, it won’t work—’

‘Shut up and look at this.’

I swivel the screen towards him and type furiously for a moment, bringing up the relevant information.

Then I let him look and read and absorb.

I hear a muttered, ‘Fuck,’ followed by, ‘When did you do all this?’

‘On Gem Island, after our last meeting.’

Buoyed by the wonder in his eyes, I continue. ‘I could tell you’d never budge on your stance to stay out of the limelight, despite the fact you’re a PR dream to tie in the resort with your kids’ vacation programme, so I agreed to do it your way. But I knew melding both our visions had potential and came up with this. What do you think?’

‘But it must’ve taken you so many hours…’ He shakes his head, unable to tear his gaze from the screen.

‘I didn’t sleep.’ I shrug like it means little, when in reality, it means everything. ‘I wanted to show you what happens when we compromise.’

‘Why?’

‘Because we’re great together, professionally and personally.’ I take a deep breath and blow it out. ‘I wanted to prove to you that I listen. That I take everything you say on board. That I make informed decisions. That even when I fear I’m not good enough and the doubts creep in, I’m still willing to keep the faith and invest in something worth believing in.’

He’s frowning, staring at me with blatant wariness. ‘What are you saying?’

‘That I’m just as vulnerable as you. That I’ve had to overcome my fear of unworthiness to be here again after the way you ended things on the island. That I’ve heard everything you’ve said, particularly down at the skate park. And my decision is still you.’

I step towards him and lay my hand on his chest, over his heart. ‘I choose you.’

Shock renders him immobile and he gapes, before shaking his head. ‘I’m no good for you—’

I fling myself at Hart, cutting off his words by plastering my mouth to his. He half pushes me away, but then he’s kissing me back, hot and deep and frantic.

He backs me up until my butt hits the desk and he cups my ass so I can do a little leap and wrap my legs around his waist.

I hang on tight as our tongues duel, slow, sensual sweeps that make me moan. He’s consuming me, like he can’t get enough. I know the feeling.

When he wrenches his mouth from mine, we’re breathing hard, my butt is sore from perching on the sharp edge of the desk, and my thighs have cramped where they’re clasped around his waist.

I don’t care. He’s a man of few words so if he’s still here and kissing me it means more than anything he can say. At least, I hope it is, and that wasn’t a stupendously hot goodbye kiss.

I lower my legs and he helps me into a standing position, then takes my hand and walks to the sofa. He sits and tugs me down next to him. We’re holding hands but he can’t look at me and my hopes plummet.

‘I need to tell you a bunch of stuff and I need you to listen,’ he murmurs, his voice barely above a croak.

‘Okay.’

‘When my dad gave up on me, I was devastated and ended up pushing people away first before they hurt me. Pa never gave up on me but you’re right, I never truly let him in…and I have to live with that regret every single day.’ He’s staring at some folksy print of the Harbour Bridge on the far wall, but not really seeing it, his eyes glazed with pain. ‘I don’t know if I’m capable of love, let alone giving a woman like you what you need.’

Blinking back tears, I say, ‘What do you think I need?’

‘Everything.’

His head falls forward and I bite my bottom lip to stop the sobs threatening to spill out.

‘There’s only one thing I really need and that’s you.’

I can’t stem the tears any longer and they trickle down my cheeks.

‘Fuck, don’t cry, not because of me.’ He bundles me into his arms and I let go, the sobs bubbling up from deep within, wave after wave until I’m drained and clinging to him.

I eventually quieten and he eases back, his expression stricken, his eyes dark with pain.

‘I will hurt you,’ he says. ‘I will push you away and be grumpy and be a total asshole, because I’m so fucking scared you’ll leave me and that will kill me…’

He clears his throat, and his eyes, those beautiful eyes, fill with tears. ‘Because for the first time in my life I think I know what love is.’

The ache in my chest expands until I’m filled with hope.

‘I haven’t slept much so I don’t think this is a dream, but just in case…’ I pinch him on the arm, hard.

He doesn’t even flinch as he stares at me for an eternity, like he’s trying to memorise my features. ‘Did you hear what I said?’

‘I heard. And for the record, I get it. You push people away as a protective mechanism and it’s so ingrained you can’t shake it.’ My fingertips graze his cheek. ‘I’m sorry that you didn’t get the chance to truly open up to your grandfather. And I hate all the horrors you had to endure growing up. But I’m here. I love you. And I won’t leave you.’

He stiffens, his neck muscles protruding. ‘You’re insane to love someone like me.’

I grin like a lunatic. ‘Yeah, I am, crazy in love.’

‘Fuck me,’ he mutters, but his lips curl into a soft smile that wipes years off his face. ‘I guess that’s okay because I think I love you too.’

My heart leaps and my stomach goes into free fall. ‘Not exactly a rousing endorsement but I’ll take it.’

His expression is dazed, like he’s just woken up, and he shakes his head. ‘I never thought you’d take a chance on an emotionally stunted asshole that has done everything in his power to push you away since we first met.’

‘You’re not emotionally stunted,’ I deadpan.

He grins at my quip. ‘You know, during all the time I hung out with foster kids, during all my travels, even during the good times with Pa, I never felt as comfortable as I do with you.’

He blinks but he can’t hide the tenderness that almost undoes me. ‘You’re truly unique, Daisy, because I don’t want to run from you.’

He thumps his chest with one hand. ‘Something weird is happening in here, because for the first time ever, I want to take a risk on someone, because I feel…safe when I’m with you, and that has never, ever happened before.’

I start blubbering again. I can’t help it, as tears leak out of my eyes.

‘So I’ll make a deal with you. I won’t push you away anymore, and I’ll love you as best I can, if you promise to tell me if you’re not happy or if you want out at any time.’

He clasps my chin and eyeballs me. ‘I need to know if you want to leave me.’

‘Deal,’ I murmur, burying my face in his chest and wrapping my arms tight around his waist.

He hugs me back and we sit there, locked in our first purely honest embrace.

The first of many.