Chapter Twenty-One

Gwyneth had not expected Kiran’s confession and looked at him with surprise. She pulled back slightly, but he held her hand firmly, preventing her from pulling away.

“What?” she asked in astonishment.

“What if I followed you?” he inquired.

“You would come to my world?” Gwyneth felt taken aback by the idea.

“Maybe,” Kiran replied. “This bond sometimes makes us do things we never thought we were capable of, or perhaps it compels us to do things we can’t resist.”

“That sounds… scary.”

“It can be, but there’s also something beautiful about it. I want to be with you, Gwyneth, and I feel like I could go with you.”

“But it’s not that simple,” Gwyneth countered.

“No, I know I’m king. I am needed. I do not deny my role.”

“No, but also because I won’t be staying in one place.”

“What do you mean?” Kiran inquired.

“Once I go back, I will find a way to make the Jumper work again. If necessary, I’ll have it repaired or rebuilt. I have to get it to work again so I can return to the time I was supposed to be in and then fix the mess.”

“You still want to travel away to another time?”

“That was always the plan after returning. Maybe I can even go back to a time before the sabotage happened.”

“Do you think that’s possible? To prevent it from happening?”

“I’m not sure. I’m not even sure if these worlds move at the same time, or if my time is frozen while I’m here.”

“Hmm, there is a lot to think about,” Kiran mused.

“Yes, there definitely is. Why do you think I have tried hard not to think too much?” Gwyneth teased, eliciting a chuckle from him.

“What if time has moved a lot faster in your world?” Kiran questioned. “What if it is too late to save anything?”

“I… don’t know.”

“You would be stuck all alone in a dangerous world with no allies,” he pointed out.

“I know.”

“The thought has occurred to you?”

“Yes.”

“And you still want to go?” he asked, gently pulling his hand back, releasing hers.

“Kiran…”

“You have something good here, don’t you? You like this world, you like its people, right?”

“Yes,” she confirmed.

“And you want to go back to something so uncertain? You don’t even know if you can fix anything. You don’t know if you will be stuck there all alone.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Why?” he asked. “Why not just stay here, then?”

“Because I have to try. It will haunt me if I don’t.”

“Your loyalty is misplaced.”

“Someone has to be the one to sacrifice.”

“Not always you, Gwyn. You don’t always have to sacrifice yourself. Maybe it was easy when you had nothing, but you have a lot now, don’t you see that?” he implored.

“I…”

“Or is it not enough for you?”

“It is!” Gwyneth shouted, stepping closer but refraining from touching him. “It is!”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s… my duty.”

“That excuse does not work on me anymore,” he said firmly. “I understand duty. I understand it better than most, but to me, it seems like you have lacked purpose in life, and now that you might not be able to fulfill that purpose, you’re trying to cling harder and harder to it because it gives you the identity you lost.”

Gwyneth drew back, feeling shocked by how accurately he had put into words something she had known deep in her heart but couldn’t admit to herself.

“You could have a purpose here, though,” Kiran continued, “but it scares you because of how free you will be. You can’t drown yourself in it, hoping it will erase all the bad. You can’t let it consume you, because I won’t allow it, and you know it. You’re scared of accepting this life because of how good it could be.”

“Kiran…” Gwyneth began, her voice trembling.

“You’re scared, Gwyn.”

“I am!” she shouted, tears welling up in her eyes. “I am scared of it all! I’m scared of letting go of everything I’ve ever known! I’m scared of allowing myself to fall for you because of how good it feels and how happy it makes me. I know I could be happy here. But won’t it also make me the most selfish person on the planet?”

“And for how many years have you been the selfless one?” Kiran shouted back. “How many years have you given to your people? And for what? They sound ungrateful to me, constantly making more messes for you to clean up! I mean, you could never leave the time you would have been stuck in, am I correct? You were chosen to leave everything behind!”

“I had nothing to leave behind! I didn’t mind it!” she exclaimed.

“Yet you mind leaving it behind now.”

“I was going to change the world!”

“Are you absolutely certain you would have saved it? How would you have known if anything changed if you couldn’t go back?” he challenged.

Gwyneth turned quiet, processing Kiran’s words, and she found herself unable to answer his question.

“Was there another way you could have checked?” he pressed.

“No…”

“No,” he repeated. “There wasn’t. But is this world, my world, which could be ours, not certain? Not real?”

“It is real.”

“But you still want to abandon it for uncertainty.”

Kiran’s words made everything crumble even more. Doubt had already been planted, but as Kiran kept pointing out all these things she already knew, she felt even more compelled to run into his arms and tell him she wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what.

“I can’t explain,” she said. “It’s bigger than me.”

“Bigger than you?”

“In cases like these, there must be someone who is willing to put it all on the line.”

“But why you?”

“Give me someone else, Kiran!” she pleaded, her voice trembling. But Kiran remained silent. “Please! Give me someone! Kiran!”

His blank expression made it clear that he couldn’t provide her with an alternative, because who else was there? Those behind the sabotage had made the group kneel, they had shot Gwyneth, they had overpowered the ones controlling the Jumper. Who knew if they hadn’t shot everyone afterward? Or sent them to a place they would never be found? Or put them in jail?

“Please,” she begged softly this time. Her eyes filled with unshed tears, and her voice quivered as she hoped for a different solution. But she knew she needed to be the one to give up everything. He has to see it too, she thought, but his expression remained blank, until…

“Come here,” Kiran said, opening his arms.

Gwyneth walked closer, and when she was near enough, he enveloped her in a warm embrace, holding her close to his body. She clung to him, trembling. It became obvious to her where her heart wanted to be, but if she chose to stay, wouldn’t there also be a hint of uncertainty lingering?