Heaven

I TAKE ONE LOOK AT my friend's face and know right away that news of my latest encounter with Mr. Hale has already gained traction.

I used to hope people would eventually tire of seeing our boss hate on me, but nope.

With the sole exception of Chickie, everyone else still seems to relish each and every instance the billionaire took the time to demonstrate just how much my presence displeases him.

And while his reaction to me can certainly be depressing...

I'd like to think it's another reason why I can still hope.

Because the more you hate, the more you love.

Right?

Chickie bangs her tray against the table, and everyone in the staff cafeteria jumps involuntarily in their seat, myself included.

"He's so mean!"

More banging sounds follow as she slides into the chair opposite mine.

"And so unbelievably childish!"

Chickie starts tearing off the wrapping paper of her sandwich like it's a contract she desperately wants to get out of.

"Calm down," I say soothingly. "Everything's fine—-"

"No, it's not. Everything is not fine at all," she counters angrily before biting into her sandwich. "And it's certainly not fair—-"

"Mr. Hale has been nothing but nice to you," I remind my friend. "So it's not fair either for you to be mad at him—-"

"But you're my friend—-"

"While Mr. Hale is both our boss, and neither of us cares to lose our jobs."

Chickie takes another angry bite of her sandwich instead of answering.

"Do we?"

The other girl expels her breath in a sigh. "How can you be so nice about this?"

"Because I understand where he's coming from."

"I wish he'd just try and see where you're coming from, too," Chickie mutters under her breath. "You've been working here for years. How can he still not see that you're nothing like all those horrible articles online make you up to be?"

The answer to that is simple, but I don't see any point in upsetting my friend with the truth.

People believe what they want to believe.

And even though I've spent the past four years doing my best to change his opinion about me, if my boss still chooses to think I'm no better than the man responsible for his parents' death, then maybe...

Maybe, it's time, God?

Because I still don't understand why I can't make myself forget him.

All this time, I've done my best to wait and stay still, thinking that something would change sooner or later.

But instead, my boss only seems to hate me more and more.

Please let me know, God.

Because I know better than to trust my feelings.

And so...

Even though I'm terribly in love with him still—-

If he's not for me, God...

Please help me.

Please take him out of my heart the way You alone can.