Chapter Ten

Bethany sat cross-legged on her bed, absently picking at a loose thread on her handmade quilt. She twirled the thin strand around her finger, watching as it cut off circulation and turned her skin a deep purple before loosening it again to reveal her pale flesh. She repeated this process for several minutes, lost in thought, before finally letting go of the thread and returning to reality.

It had been almost a week since she'd last laid eyes on Benjamin and Tessa, and the emptiness in her chest grew with each passing day. She longed to see them again, yet a part of her was hesitant about what their reunion might bring. Would they still feel the same for her after all this time apart? The uncertainty gnawed at her, but she couldn't deny how much she missed them.

She delicately lifted Millie's beloved doll, its yarn hair matted and tangled. She ran her fingers through it, gently untangling the knots, before carefully smoothing down the dress made from scraps of a once-beautiful calico gown. Millie's favorite toy was showing signs of wear and tear, but she couldn't bear to part with it.

"What do you think, Mabel?" Bethany whispered to the doll. "Is it possible to love someone so deeply after such a short time?" It was more an admission than a question. She gazed at Mabel, the doll's lifeless button eyes barely clinging to the delicate linen material of her plush body as it stared back. "Benjamin and I barely know each other, so how can I be sure these feelings are true? He practically bolted out of the Chapmans' house like a frightened jackrabbit. I have a feeling that everything he told me was most likely a lie."

Bethany's thoughts churned like the muddy waters of the creek Ben rescued her from. How she longed for his powerful arms around her and his warm lips claiming her once more. There was something about him that spoke to her as a woman. It set fire inside her veins. She had experienced nothing like it before.

But she wanted to experience it again…

…and again.

What would her mother think?

What would Pa think?

Good thing he didn't know Ben kissed her passionately. Otherwise, Pa's shotgun wouldn't still be over the fireplace.

Bethany sighed deeply, setting Mabel down as she stood up from the bed.

She wondered what Tessa was doing. Glancing at the small clock sitting on the dressing table, she smiled. Tessa was probably baking something sweet for Ben, and then she'd take Marigold for a walk just outside the house.

Chuckling, Bethany laughed when she thought about the lamb. She wondered what Ben would do once the lamb became too big to live inside.

Perhaps she could take Lucy and go on a visit. She promised Tessa she'd stop by, and the waters were low enough to cross safely now. She reached for the silver hairbrush on her dresser and ran it through her long, tangle-prone hair. With each stroke, she carefully twisted small sections into tight curls against her scalp, creating a beautifully intricate hairstyle. She had just pinned the last curl when a knock at the door jolted her from her thoughts of Ben.

The doorknob turned, and her mother popped her head inside the room. She wore her Sunday best, even though it was only Friday.

"You look pretty," Bethany said, taking in the blue dress with black trim and a white collar. "Why are you dressed up?"

"Get dressed, Bethany," her mother commanded, her voice firm but gentle. "We're going out." She eyed her daughter from head to toe. "You did your hair already. Hmmm. Wear anything, but the buckskins."

"Out? Where?" Bethany asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Never you mind," Ma replied evasively, a small knowing smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Just make yourself presentable and meet me in the kitchen. "Doc's coming to check on Tommy. Grandma Moore will remain here until we return."

Pa and Uncle Devin had fetched Tommy from the Chapmans and brought him back home, where he had been resting in bed ever since.

"Grandma Moore? Where's Pa? Why not Seth or Millie?"

"Millie is coming with us, and Seth is too young to be left alone to nurse Tommy."

"Where's Pa?" Bethany inquired, her eyebrows knitting together in concern.

"Your father had some business with one of the local farmers, and Uncle Devin went along with him," Ma replied, her tone casual. "Wear the blue dress. It brings out your eyes."

"All right, Ma," Bethany answered, watching as her mother disappeared down the hallway. A spark of excitement ignited within her, momentarily overpowering the swirling doubts that had consumed her minutes before.

"Maybe this outing is just what I need," she thought to herself, her spirits lifting as she looked through her wardrobe for the blue dress.

Once dressed, she headed to the kitchen, where Millie was placing an apple pie in a basket and several jars of assorted jams and pickles in another.

"You look pretty, Bethy," Millie said, as she tucked a gingham napkin around the jars.

Bethany ruffled Millie's hair. "So do you, bug. Who are these for?"

"Bethany," Ma interrupted, tucking a jar of summer honey beneath the checkered cloth, "please get the buckboard hitched up? We'll be leaving shortly."

"Yes, Ma. I'm going to check on Tommy first." She grabbed a biscuit and broke it into small pieces as she walked towards Tommy's room. Bethany gingerly pushed the half-open door and poked her head into the room.

He lay in bed, his eyes closed, and he was slightly snoring. The sight of him tugged at her heart, and she whispered a silent prayer for his recovery. As she backed out of the room, Tommy lifted his hand, his eyes still closed.

"Hey, sis. I'm awake."

"Then why are your eyes closed?" Bethany moved into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"It takes too much effort to open them."

"I'll share my biscuit with you."

Tommy opened one eye and reached out his hand. "I'll take it." She put half the biscuit in his hand, and he popped it in his mouth in one bite before pushing himself into a sitting position.

"How's your leg?"

"Still swollen. I'm hoping Doc will let me walk on it soon."

"You are lucky you didn't break it."

"I moved my leg forward towards Thunder's neck." A lone tear rolled down his cheek. "I-I should have been looking. We could have avoided—"

Bethany felt her throat thicken as she leaned over and wrapped her arms around her brother's shoulders. "It's not your fault, Tommy. Pet said she could see where Thunder slid in the mud."

"I don't think I'm going to trap anymore." He pushed Bethany away and rolled over, groaning as the coverlet brushed his swollen leg. "I'll give Petunia all my traps. She looks like the critters she hunts, so she'll make use of them."

"Tommy, you don't mean that." The biscuit pieces in her hand didn't look so appetizing anymore. "You just need to rest."

"Go away, Bethany. I want to be alone."

"Doc will be here shortly to check on you. I'll be back later today." Leaning over, she pressed a kiss on his hair. "You stink. Ask Doc if you can have a bath. Maybe Grandma Moore can fix you up one while we are gone." Giggling, she turned and walked towards the door as a soft object hit her in the back. Looking down, she saw Tommy's pillow on the floor. She picked it up and tossed it back towards her brother with a smile. "I'm glad you're feeling better. Love you."

Pulling the door closed, she headed towards the door leading outside.

"Can you put that in the back of the buckboard?" Millie asked as Bethany walked by the table again. "I'll bring the other one out."

With a nod, she took the heavier basket and headed towards the barn, tossing the biscuit crumbs in her hand to the chickens. In the distance, Doc's buggy was making its way between the trees as it came up the path towards the house. Marmee sat next to him. Bethany waved at them before continuing her path towards the barn.

When Bethany put the basket in the back of the small buckboard, she peeked inside. There were eight jars filled with jeweled colored jams and different preserved pickles. Bethany wondered if someone was ill or just had a baby. Those were the only reasons she could think Ma would give up some of her stocked pantry. Those items were to get them through winter.

Tucking the napkin back over the jars, Bethany tried to focus on hitching a horse to the small wagon, but her thoughts kept drifting back to Benjamin and Tessa. She didn't recall seeing a pantry in their house. She wondered what his plans were for winter.

Bethany chose a sturdy, chestnut-colored horse and led it out of the stall with ease. As she prepared to attach it to the buckboard, she heard Marmee's voice behind her.

"Mind if I give you a hand?"

The sight of the older woman at the entrance of the barn surprised Bethany. "Of course not, Marmee. Thank you."

"Regina is in with Doc and Tommy, so I thought I would just come out here. They don't need another mother hen fussing in there."

Bethany fiddled with the brass buckle on the harness.

"Did you go on rounds with Doc today?"

"I had some things to deliver to one of his patients, so I tagged along."

"They must appreciate your support."

"I was telling your mother we stopped by the Kendrick ranch."

Bethany's ears perked up as she looked at Marmee over the back of the horse. "Is everyone all right there?"

Hiding her eagerness, but genuinely curious about Ben and Tessa, Bethany waited for Marmee to respond.

"Everyone's fine, dear." Marmee's reassuring smile calmed her fears. "Doc dropped off something there after we visited the Pickett ranch."

Bethany's hands trembled as she gripped the leather strap, trying to focus on the task at hand. Her mind kept drifting back to Benjamin and the unexpected kiss they shared. "They are all right?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"Perfectly fine. Life has a funny way of bringing unexpected opportunities." Marmee tugged on the last strap, securing it in place. "It's up to us to decide whether we take them. I think that is secure enough."

Bethany's breath hitched, her heart pounding as she absorbed Marmee's words. Was Marmee hinting at what happened between her and Benjamin? Or was it just a coincidence? She knew the older woman was right. She couldn't let fear dictate her actions, especially with matters of the heart.

"Are you saying I should pursue my feelings for Benjamin?" she asked hesitantly, her hands twisting nervously in her apron.

Marmee smiled warmly, her eyes filled with understanding. "Only you can know what's best for you, my dear. If there's someone or something you deeply care for, don't let fear stop you from pursuing it."

Bethany felt tears prick at her eyes. She wanted to tell Marmee everything, but the words caught in her throat. Before she could speak, Ma and Millie came into the barn.

"It looks like Tommy is on the mend. He can't put much pressure on the leg yet, but that is to be expected," Ma said, walking around and placing the basket next to the other one. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't taken care of him, Ingrid."

"It was Petunia who brought him to the house." Marmee said. "I don't know what that child was doing out in that weather."

Millie snorted. "Probably looking for Tommy."

"Millicent," Ma chided. "You shouldn't say such things."

"Well, it's true," Millie said, climbing into the front of the buckboard. "Petunia is always following him around. He's silly if he doesn't see it." She adjusted her skirt before tucking the fabric under her legs. "Tommy might as well marry her."

Bethany turned away before Marmee and Ma could see her snicker. Tommy had nothing but contempt for Petunia. He had mentioned before how she shouldn't be running around the woods in buckskins with a slingshot. Now that Millie had mentioned it, Tommy seemed increasingly upset when it was Petunia that was doing it, but not any of his sisters or cousins.

Interesting .

As she led the horse into the barnyard, Grandma Moore was climbing the porch stairs. She had tied her mule near the house. Bethany ran over and wrapped her arms around Pa's mother. "Will you still be here when we get back?"

Gnarled fingers reached up and patted Bethany's cheeks. "Unless your pa or Uncle Devin take me home." Grandma Moore pressed her leathery lips against Bethany's forehead. "Have a good time today."

Did everyone but her know what they were doing?

As Bethany descended the porch steps, she saw Ma already seated on the buckboard, waiting for her. Just as she was about to walk over, Marmee reached out and grabbed her hand, halting her movement.

Marmee studied her for a moment, her keen eyes seeming to penetrate straight to the heart of Bethany's inner turmoil. "Bethany," she began, the softness of her tone belying the weight of her words, "I want you to understand something. A woman must secure her future, after all. Marriage isn't to be taken lightly, but it is a matter of survival out here. If you can find love along the way, that is a blessing not to be taken lightly."

"Thank you, Marmee," Bethany whispered, her voice filled with gratitude and resolve.

"You're welcome," Marmee replied, a warm smile spreading across her face as they walked toward the buckboard. "Now, enjoy the rest of your day. I'm going to have a cup of coffee with your grandmother."