Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

"W e have arrived, Your Grace."

Nancy peered through the carriage window, taking in the magnificent blue house that sat on a bright expanse of greenery, noting absentmindedly that her sisters had not exaggerated when they told her how marvelous their new home was.

Tiredly, she sighed and stepped out of the carriage, belatedly relieved that her family had managed to live comfortably for a while and at least something good had come out of her marriage to Richard.

"Nancy!" Anne cried happily, running down to greet her sister.

Beatrice followed closely, just as excited to see her elder sister, both of them wrapping their arms around her warmly.

Nancy exhaled, feeling as though she had made the right decision to come and see them.

"Are you all right? You look upset," Anne noted, ever sharp and perceptive.

"Let's take her inside first—oh my, you brought Dash with you!" Beatrice squealed, coaxing a cry from Anne once she noticed the fluffy puppy circling their feet.

Nancy nodded. "Since I told you a lot about him at the ball, I thought you would like to meet him. And he was certainly excited to meet you. Isn't that right, Dash?"

The puppy sat back and barked in agreement, wagging his tail happily.

Anne practically screamed in awe, reaching forward to lift the puppy into her arms. "He's so pretty!" she said, her eyes brimming with joy.

"And incredibly well-behaved," Beatrice noted, patting his head gently. To her older sister, she smiled softly and took her hand, leading her to the house's entrance. "Come in, Nancy. You look as though you could use a cup of tea."

While the servants handled her luggage, Nancy sat with her sisters, listening to them regale her with tales of their days and how they had planned to go and pick flowers in a field not too far from the estate.

It brought her no small comfort how obvious it was that they knew she was upset. Still, rather than pestering her to talk about it, they simply distracted her by conversing casually.

"… and then Beatrice saw a bee and screamed."

"I did not!" Beatrice snapped indignantly. "I just… ran."

"While screaming." Anne grinned cheekily.

"It does sound like you, Bea," Nancy teased softly. "But in your defense, bees are terrifying insects."

"See?" Beatrice stuck her tongue out at Anne with an expression of triumph. "Nancy understands?—"

The door to the drawing room burst open, and their mother walked in with a dark expression.

"What have you done?" she demanded, waving around a copy of the Scandal Gazette .

Nancy's breath hitched in her chest, and she told her sisters softly, "Take Dash to play with you outside. I must speak with Mama for a moment."

But her mother had no plans to wait until they were alone, seemingly far too angry.

"How could you ruin your marriage to the Duke? And with a mere dog trainer? Have you taken leave of your senses?"

Nancy did not expect that she would have to defend herself again so soon, to her mother of all people, but she would not let the slander pass.

"I did no such thing. That sheet is filled with nothing but lies!"

"Was that why you stayed away from him last night during the ball? Because you had already given yourself to another?" her mother challenged.

"Mama!" Nancy cried in outrage, breathing heavily.

"Mama, that's not fair—" Beatrice protested.

"Be quiet. This does not concern you, Beatrice," Georgiana snapped.

"Beatrice, take Anne and Dash out with you. I will be with you shortly," Nancy gritted out, barely containing her hurt and anger.

Beatrice looked as though she wanted to protest but thought against it, instead leading her little sister and the puppy out of the drawing room. Nancy waited until the door had closed behind them before speaking again.

"I did not expect you to believe gossip over your own daughter, Mama. I was not unfaithful to my husband. I would never?—"

"You expect me to blindly believe you? You never wanted to marry him in the first place. And I begged you to think of me—of us, your family with nothing. Did you have to be so selfish? To risk all our reputations and foolishly ruin all our chances of survival?" the Dowager Marchioness shouted with a mean glare.

"What about me?" Nancy screamed back. "Am I not your family? Have you ever once stopped to think about my feelings and well-being, other than seeing me as a passage to the life of comfort you desire for yourself and my sisters?"

"From the start, you have pushed and pushed me into this marriage, never stopping to advise me on the things that mattered, and even after I did everything in my power to sustain it, this marriage that mattered more to you than I did still crumbled. And you are willing to believe it was my fault, no matter how many times I tell you that I did not—I would never do that."

Tears were streaming down her face now, flowing uncontrollably as her throat constricted painfully.

She struggled to breathe, lowering her voice slightly as she said, "Father would have understood. He wouldn't have let me put my happiness aside like that, wouldn't have married me off to a stranger for his comfort. I wish he was here instead of you!"

Without another word, she turned away from her mother and left the drawing room.

* * *

There was something to be said about how the loneliness that Richard thought he had been familiar with for so long seemed heavier after Nancy's departure.

It made no sense to him how quickly he had gotten so close to her, how spellbound he had become by her scent and voice, how cold his hands felt without her smooth skin beneath them.

Although he had reacted unemotionally to the news of her leaving the castle, there had been a twinge of hurt in his chest that grew with every passing moment he sat dwelling on the knowledge that, once more, he had been abandoned.

The fault was no one else's but his own for failing to realize that his father had been right all along. He was truly unlovable and unworthy of any sort of high regard.

It had been foolish of him to momentarily believe otherwise, and the best thing he could do for himself was to never forget the actions that had brought him to this point.

"There was… no use, trying to change. I… never should have tried at all," he grumbled, refilling his glass of whiskey.

The dim lighting in his study and his blurry vision made him feel pathetic, rather than dismissive of his predicament, but he did not know how to do anything else other than sit and drink.

All alone. Like he was meant to be.

As he lowered the bottle to the table, his ears heard something.

It sounded like… scratching… at his door.

Momentary clarity bled through his drunken haze, and he shot to his feet quickly, regretting it moments later when he was hit with a dizzy spell. He took a few seconds to regain his balance before hurrying to the door with a hopeful prayer on his lips.

But when he flung it open, there was nothing but a dark hallway waiting for him.

For a moment… he had thought that he heard Dash, had believed that Nancy had returned.

The pain in his chest increased with a cruel twist that left him gasping as he sank to his knees.

All alone. Because no one would ever want to be with him.