Chapter 9

Raiah's laughter was something Vanya always cherished, but hearing Soren's voice at his table again was a particular kind of pleasure.

He looked over the decimated serving dishes of the evening meal at where Soren sat beside Raiah, his hand extended to her, with a tiny flicker of starfire curling against his palm. Raiah poked at it the same way she did Vanya's when he pulled the aether through him and cast it in the only form of magic he knew. The starfire didn't burn her, the way it never burned anyone blessed with that power.

"So you're like Papa and me," Raiah said, covering the starfire with her little palm and trying to snuff it out. When she lifted her hand again, the starfire still burned, and she giggled.

Soren's gray eyes flicked up to meet Vanya's across the table, a hesitancy in them that quickly faded. "Yes, but I didn't know for years."

"I always knew I could cast starfire." Raiah stated such news with an imperious tone to her voice as she clambered up to her knees on the cushioned bench.

"Lucky you," Soren said before putting out the starfire.

"Do it again!"

He tugged at one of Raiah's braids. "Some other time. It's getting late."

Taisiya had already excused herself from the table, wanting an evening bath for her old bones, as she'd put it. Vanya had soaked himself that morning on orders from Intira, and the lingering ache from the poison yesterday had disappeared, along with the tension he'd carried since Soren's return to Oeiras. Their reunion that morning had been intense, and not everything that needed to be said had been said, but the important words—those, at least, he'd given voice to. Soren would stay, and that was all Vanya wanted.

"I think it's time for bed," Vanya said before rising to his feet.

Predictably, Raiah protested, begging to stay up. When her pleas fell on deaf ears, she turned to Soren, eyes big and pleading. "If I go to sleep, you might not be here in the morning!"

Vanya saw Soren wince before the warden pasted on a smile that Raiah would never know was full of regret. "I promise I will be here when you wake up."

Despite Soren's words, Raiah sulked for the short walk from the private inner courtyard to her room, demanding Soren carry her and requiring a story be read to her once she was finally in bed. When Vanya offered to do the reading, Raiah shook her head. "I want Soren to read to me."

And Soren, much like Vanya, could deny her nothing. So Vanya sat at the foot of the bed and watched in silence as Soren read to his daughter from a book he remembered from his own childhood. It was still popular with children, and Soren had read it to her before several times back in Calhames, before everything burned.

Eventually, they kissed her good night on the forehead, turned off the gas lamp light in the corner, and left her under the faithful watch of the praetoria legionnaires, their numbers doubled after yesterday on Javier's orders. Vanya reached for Soren's hand after the door clicked shut quietly behind them, tugging the other man forward.

"Walk with me," Vanya said.

Soren nodded, never letting go as Vanya led him through the Imperial estate up to the rooftop observation patio. It was situated above the private wing where his household called home these days. The patio was a half-circle in shape, whose tiles still held some of the heat from the day, though it was fading. No overhang impeded a view of the sky, and several chaises were angled toward the edge and the intricate stone railing there.

Oeiras stretched out before them, the coastal city brilliantly illuminated by gas lamps in the warrens of the streets between city walls. The observation patio pointed north, toward the port and harbor that fed into the vast blackness of the sea west of them, distant flickering lights evidence of ships or ship-cities in the waters there. Vanya couldn't hear the sound of the water from where they stood in the heart of Oeiras, nor could he smell the sea salt on the air, but one always knew where the sea was, even inside the city walls.

Calhames was a desert city, born of fire and sometimes drought, but it was the home he knew and loved. Oeiras, with its dangerous jungle on one side and the sea on the other, held its own kind of vibrant beauty. As in both cities, the night sky was a searing darkness overhead, painted with a million pinpricks of stars surrounding the half-moon.

None of it was as beautiful as the man standing beside him.

"Raiah missed you," Vanya said as he leaned his hip against the stone railing.

Soren came to stand next to him, well within arm's reach. The light from gas lamps burning by the stairs they'd come up through didn't reach where they stood, both of them cast in shadow. "You know I missed her as well. I'm sorry she thought I was never coming back."

Vanya's fingers twitched, and he bit back the retort that first came to his tongue, the harshness in the words no longer relevant. "I didn't speak to her about you while you were gone. She wanted me to promise you would return, and I couldn't grant her that wish."

Soren ducked his head before settling his hand on Vanya's hip through the layers of his robe. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you told her I was gone or dead or any such excuse you needed to in order to move on."

"You aren't someone I could ever move on from."

In all the years since Nicca's death, there had only ever been one person in Vanya's bed. He'd bedded no courtesan, man or woman, taken no other lover in any city throughout the years. Soren had captivated him from the moment they met in the wreckage of the train crash years ago, Vanya meant to die and Soren never meant to be his savior. Only here they were, with all their secrets laid bare between them and a world tipping into war.

"Still," Soren said quietly. "Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do."

"You lied to protect yourself and to protect me." At Soren's nod, Vanya let out a rough sound that might have been laughter on some other day. "Your truth wasn't one I wanted to hear last year. I've had time to realize that mistake and regret not listening."

Vanya curled his fingers through a belt loop and pulled Soren with him over to one of the chaises. He sat down, propped up against the high back on one end, and tugged Soren down with him. The warden settled himself between Vanya's legs, his back to Vanya's chest. He'd left his weapons in their room, a concession to Taisiya for the evening meal, and it made it easier to hold him now, like this. Vanya relished the weight of Soren against him as they stretched out on the chaise, tangled together how he liked.

"If our roads were meant to be different, they never would have crossed. Despite everything, my life is richer with you in it," Vanya said.

Soren slid down a little, resting his head back against Vanya's chest. When he spoke, Vanya could feel the thrum of his voice against his ribs. "Returning to you after time spent at a border always felt like coming home."

Vanya tightened his arms around Soren and kissed the top of Soren's head. "I'm glad you were there for us at the Imperial palace."

Raiah wouldn't be alive without Soren's intervention, a fact Taisiya had seen fit to remind him of over the past few months. His darling daughter was his legacy, what he fought for when it came to the Imperial throne. He'd not have either if Soren hadn't been present during the Conclave last year.

"When the memories with Callisto came back to me, I knew I couldn't speak of them. I'd have lost the wardens and you if I did." Soren sighed roughly, voice steady when he spoke again. "I might have lost the wardens anyway, but the thought of losing you was why I never asked. I was selfish."

Vanya hummed softly, looking up at where the Lion constellation burned brightest in the night sky. "We are both selfish for wanting the same thing."

"I still lost you both."

"As you said before," Vanya murmured. "You always had me. My House is yours."

Tension leaked out of Soren, the other man finally relaxing against Vanya. Their voices never became louder than a murmur in the hours that followed. They spoke of the past like it was some distant land despite the immediacy of what lay ahead, born of those choices. Whatever came from their roads merging, Vanya would face it with Soren by his side. He would never regret the pain they'd endured, for it had brought Soren back to him.